MARRAGE IS A WONDERFUL THING!

BG for the story: Sephy didn't die or go insane, instead, he's still working for Shinra and it's...just weird. So here's the story.

Disclaimer: I wanna own Sephy!! But I can't because I didn't make him up.. but I own Kathryn, and Shela, and Beth, and...all the other women he sees!

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"Get married?" Sephiroth asked to clarify, "Did I hear that right?"

President Shinra nodded, "Its time you did."

Sephiroth's eye twitched somewhat, he knew he was an experiment and that was all they really cared about, but forcing him to get married just so he could breed was, in his opinion, absolutely disgusting. "And have you told Hojo about your decision?" Sephiroth asked.

Shinra waved a hand, fat cigar between his fingers and ash flying from the lit end. He took a long puff from it before answering. "I really don't care what Hojo thinks. He's an idiot anyway. Lets just say, my decision is based on the fact that you won't live forever and I'd like my company to prosper in the future as well as it is now."

Sephiroth's hands clenched into fists, he was somewhere near twenty-five and personally he didn't feel like getting married. "And how do you suppose I'm going to get some woman to marry me?"

Shinra smiled, his disgusting teeth showing and smoke curling up from his nostrils. "Why, in a business-like fashion, of course. I've already spoken with the media, they've started reporting already!"

"Reporting what exactly?" Sephiroth asked between clenched teeth.

"That all females of consenting age are welcome to send in applications for me to review and call in women to interview. Don't worry about the paperwork, Sephiroth, I'll handle that, you just pick who you like!" Shinra said with another wide grin and Sephiroth fumed. "You're dismissed," Shinra waved his hand again, turning his chair around to look out the large windows behind his desk. With a growl, Sephiroth turned as well, stalking down the stairs, moving too fast for his coat to even drag on the stairs behind him.

He got to the elevator and stood in front of the doors a second before he started slamming his fists into the metal numerous times. The staff already knew not to mess with him so he was left alone in his fury. Finally the doors opened and he was face to face with Scarlett- only by virtue of her high heels- she smirked at the look on his face and stepped out, brushing past him. He stepped onto the elevator and stabbed his key-card in jabbing the button for the fifth floor, the gym. He spent the rest of the day there frightening the staff.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, thousands of applications were sent in and Shinra's secretaries were put to work sorting though them. Shinra looked at the first stack of applications, they were all 'A's, the secretaries having put them in alphabetical order. The first girl was sitting in front of him in a small room, only himself, her, and Sephiroth. The latter looked the most unhappy of the trio. He was leaning back in the farthest corner of the room, dressed in his usual black. In fact, he'd even neglected to brush his hair, ruining his usually meticulous appearance, plus there were wrinkles in his shirt.

Shinra puffed on his cigar some. "So your name is Beth Aaronson?" Shinra asked to start the interview. He'd go though every one of the applications until Sephiroth picked one.

The tiny shy woman nodded, her bright blue hair falling into her face briefly. She lifted her hand from her lap shyly to brush the hair from her eyes, glancing at Sephiroth with a mix of fright and excitement. Sephiroth's eyes narrowed on her. This is all a game to see me up close, Sephiroth thought to himself bitterly, And I'm not going to get out of it until I pick someone... I hate you, Shinra.

"Sephiroth? Do you have any questions for her?" Shinra asked.

Sephiroth smiled wickedly, stirring himself to come forward slowly, dangerously, circling around the poor woman. "What do you think about blood? Do you like it? Do you like feeling it pour down your hands as your victim convulses in agony?" Beth looked decidedly sick. "Do you enjoy seeing their faces as you rip their lives from them? Or do you feel nothing when you kill them?" He stopped to let her answer.

"P-p-perhaps... I mistook...." Beth stammered. "Excuse me," she said and ran from the room in terror.

Shinra wasn't too pleased. "What? I was only seeing if she could handle what I do," Sephiroth said, smirking slightly, returning to his corner.

Shinra pressed a button, "Next," he said into the microphone set on the desk and connected with the secretary outside. Another girl entered the room, tall, with golden hair cut incredibly short. She nodded, seeming in control of herself and the situation. Sephiroth folded his arms and eyed her. She was thin, willowy, not even a good shape for bearing children. He doubted she'd live after the second time he lost his temper with her. She sat down, glancing at Sephiroth, worry in her eyes. She'd seen Beth go running out sobbing.

"Jessica Abant, correct?" Shinra asked and she nodded.

She took a breath and started speaking, her voice almost shrill, "I can cook and clean and I'm very good with children, Mr. Sephiroth, sir, I'm willing to stay home all day or even go out and get a job if you want. Anything you want, I'll do."

"How about getting out?" Sephiroth spoke up.

Her eyes went wide and she nodded, "As you wish," she said, getting up and making her way out, back straight, but Sephiroth could tell she was upset and angry. Shinra looked at Sephiroth with a glower, "Why did you say that?"

"Because she's a twit. She has no personality of her own, just what others want her to be," Sephiroth replied with a slight shrug.

Shinra frowned, "At this rate, we're going to be through all the applicants in a week!"

"Good, then maybe I could get back to what I'm supposed to be doing," Sephiroth muttered.

"Next!" Shinra snapped into the microphone.

Hours later, Sephiroth had a headache, Shinra was on his fifteenth cigar, and the girls weren't getting any more appealing. Though Sephiroth was tempted to just say yes to the next one to walk in and if she ended up dying somehow, it wasn't his fault, but something inside him kept him from doing that. He had finally taken a seat, dragging a chair over to the corner during one of the interviews where he hadn't found anything disturbing to say. In fact, he even pretended to fall asleep while the girl was talking.

"Nevermind. I can see he's not interested," she said and left. Shinra was furious, of course.

"Sephiroth, this is not amusing! If you don't pick a wife then I'll pick one fore you!" Shinra shouted at the top of his lungs then started coughing.

Sephiroth glowered, "Do that and I'll kill you very next chance I get." That halted Shinra for a moment and he muttered, calling for the next woman to make her way in.

She strolled in, looking like a beauty queen, Scarlett's twin. She fluffed her long blonde hair back over her shoulder and smiled with her cherry red lips. "Hello Handsome," she greeted Sephiroth. He felt like bashing his head against the wall. Shinra was eyeing her, smirking as he looked her over. She sat down, making sure to give Sephiroth a look down her cleavage.

Sephiroth put his hand to his fore head, sliding down in his chair. This was going to be a very very long day. "Shela Azrin?"

She nodded, fluffing her hair back again as she lounged in the chair. "I hadn't thought you'd get to me today. I have no idea what the other girls were crying about when they left! He seems to be behaving himself fine." Sephiroth felt his anger rising at her words, he'd run her out gladly.

"So what do you like to do, Shela?" Shinra asked, leaning forward.

"I like wild kinky sex with animals and leather," she said truthfully.

"Get out of here, you whore," Sephiroth snapped.

Shela blinked, "But-"

"I said get out- before I make you leave: in pieces," he growled, leaning forward slightly, the look on his face made her exit pretty quickly.

"Sephiroth...."

"You have absolutely no clue what I want in a woman, Shinra, shut up."

"But she-"

"Was a whore. I don't like 'tainted' women, Shinra, you can have her if you want, but I will not touch something as filthy as her," Sephiroth said firmly, "now call in the next one."

"Next..."