Dear Readers,
After almost a year, I've updated!! Finally!! I'm sorry for the long hiatus; I had writer's block, plus I've been incredibly busy--plus an unexpected obsession with Stargate: Atlantis was suddenly awakened and I got kind of preoccupied with that for a while...not to mention school, applying for colleges, a band trip to Disney world, and the school musical (HSM!!! No, I don't love it, I hate it). Anyway, I deeply apologize, but here is the next chap...I got hung up b/c I didn't know where to go with it...but I think I finally figured out how I'm going to get the plot to progress from here, so I hope I can update sooner now! Thanks again to all your support and reviews, and to the reviewer whose name escapes me who reminded me how bad Dragon is with keeping secrets, you're to thank for the first part of the chap! Btw, I've decided to give the Chaps names--this one is called "The Moment I Said It" b/c I realized how much it related to Imogen Heap's song by the same title while I was writing the end of it. Anyhoo, hope you enjoy; I'm sorry if any of the characters are OOC--but, I assure you, I'm trying to get into a different side of Jane that we don't usually see, and Gunther is supposed to be acting weird in this story anyway. Well, I'd better let you guys go; Thanks so much for the support!
Best Regards from a Bookworm,
Miss Pookamonga ;-P
After the incident with Gunther, a very confused Jane had returned to her room. She had expected to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep after all the exhaustive training she'd gone through that day, but instead, images of Gunther were swimming before her closed eyes throughout the entire two-hour duration of her nap. When she awoke, she was quite bothered about the fact that she'd dreamt about Gunther of all people...although a voice in the back of her mind kept insisting that she knew exactly why she had had dreams of him. Jane shook off those thoughts, though, as she headed down to the kitchens for dinner; it would not do well to brood over such things around her friends, for they were bound to notice that something was wrong, and that would lead to questioning.
She leisurely walked to the table, enjoying the cool summer's night air and late sunset. She could sniff the sharp scent of Pepper's food before she even arrived at the courtyard, and she could also hear Dragon's voice babbling on quite excitedly about something to her friends. She smiled at the homely, cozy atmosphere; it was peaceful nights like these spent in good company that always warmed her heart, no matter how stressed or upset she was feeling that day.
As Jane neared the table, she began to overhear some of Dragon's exuberant conversation. The words she picked up indicated that he was talking about her; but, she didn't worry at first, for Dragon talked about her all the time. So she continued walking casually until something Dragon said suddenly stopped her dead in her tracks.
"And she's been getting roses from him every day for the past week. We have absolutely no clue who it is..."
Jane's mouth instantly went dry. Dragon hadn't said...what she thought she'd heard...had he?
"We've gone through all the possibilities, but she refuses to believe it's anybody we all know, least of all one of you."
He had!
Anger welled up inside her, and even worse, extreme embarrassment. Jane couldn't stand to have her private life being advertised to anyone else, even if those people were her friends and would never dream of ridiculing her. If she wanted to tell them something, she would herself. It was no one else's place to do so—not even Dragon's! Jane marched indignantly over to the great green lizard and placed her hands on her hips furiously.
"Dragon?!" she cried incredulously, controlled fury vibrating in her voice.
The giant green lizard whirled his head around, and when his eyes found Jane standing there, fuming, his face contorted into one of utter shock and shame.
"J-J-Jane," he stammered. "I had no idea—"
"You had no idea that I was right behind you, nor do you have any idea of how to keep a secret!" yelled Jane heatedly.
The assortment of friends around the table—Smithy, Pepper, Jester, and a now very sick-looking Rake—gasped in surprise. "This was supposed to be a secret, Dragon?" asked Pepper, stunned.
Dragon opened his mouth to say something—probably to make an excuse—but he caught a glimpse of the enraged Jane standing below him and thought better of it.
"Yes, it was supposed to be a secret!" cried Jane angrily. "I didn't want anyone to know about it because...because it's private, that's what, and I don't want absurd rumors flying around the castle!" She stared daggers at Dragon again. "You promised you wouldn't tell!"
"I-I-I...well...thought it would be okay if I told our friends...I mean, it's not like they're going to spread this now, are they?" Dragon eyed their friends nervously. "I...I mean, I couldn't help myself—"
"Dragon! You know better than to make that excuse!"
"B-b-but it would've gotten out eventually—"
"Yes, eventually, but not so soon!" Jane interrupted again, her temper rising dangerously. "Now the whole castle is going to know that Lady Jane has a secret admirer before I even find out who it is! And they'll start spreading things about who it might be, and then people will start creating their own little love scandal stories!"
"I-I'm sorry—"
"You're sorry now, but it's not going to be able to change anything anymore. Who knows who else overheard you?!"
Dragon hung his head. "I'm sorry, Jane, I really am."
Jane just let out a frustrated sigh. "Well...I'm not hungry anymore, so I guess I will just return to my quarters and sleep for the night," she said much more softly, yet dejectedly. "I apologize, everyone, for...that. I shall see you in the morning." And with that, she spun on her heel and walked briskly away under the weight of a very uncomfortable silence.
Jane couldn't believe it. Dragon had broken his promise. True, he was a babbler, but she had thought she had made it perfectly clear to him the seriousness of keeping the whole affair a secret. He understood her better than anyone else, and he knew how wary she was of allowing anyone to catch a glimpse of her vulnerabilities—if admitting that she was thrilled to have someone be in love with her even was a vulnerability. Maybe, just maybe, she thought it would betray too much...sentimentality in her. Yes, yes, that was it, she convinced herself. Too much sentimentality wasn't good for a budding knight. A good knight needs to have a sound mind, clever wit, and brute strength, Jane told herself firmly. But...it is sweet...think of it, he's gone out of his way for an entire week just to give me roses... Jane suddenly shook her head rapidly, as if that would dispel the little hobgoblin from her thoughts. She was horrified at how easily she'd let herself slip into that other side of her...
"I must be going mad," she grumbled worriedly to herself.
"What was that?"
Jane's head snapped upward, and she gasped in surprise when she saw Gunther standing right beside her in the archway to the garden, looking considerably calmer than he had earlier.
"Gunther? What are you doing here?" she nearly cried out.
"Oh, just practicing some fighting, that's all," he replied nonchalantly, leaning against the side of the archway in a somewhat suave manner.
Jane raised an eyebrow at him. Just a few hours ago, he is a nervous wreck, but now he is acting...debonair? He's never this erratic. "Are you sure you are all right?" she asked cautiously.
He chuckled lightly, maintaining a small grin on his face. It was a bit sly, like always, but softer than usual. "You already asked me that today," he replied in a smooth voice. "I assure you that I am fine."
Jane was beginning to grow a bit disturbed at that smile, and the strange way Gunther's eyes seemed to be flickering mischievously at her. The normal Gunther was annoying and sometimes downright awful towards her, but she preferred that behavior over the way he'd been acting all day. "Are you trying to play some trick on me?" She squinted at him in suspicion. "Because if you are, my day has already been ruined, so I don't need any more embarrassment."
At that, Gunther's sophisticated demeanor suddenly snapped into one of uneasy shock. "What happened?" he asked, his voice flooding with worry and surprise, and his eyes wide with what could have been genuine concern.
Jane nearly jumped at the sudden change of appearance. What on earth...? Now he was really scaring her. "Are you absolutely sure you're all right?" she inquired with alarm.
"Will you stop asking me that?!" he snapped in annoyance. "I'm fine." But after he said so, he started to look queasy and began to shuffle his feet.
Jane eyed him carefully for a moment. His gaze flickered back and forth between her and his feet, which were compulsively kicking up small clouds of dust. His mouth was somewhat crooked, and he was wringing each of his fingers as if he was extremely nervous about something. Something in Jane's stomach commenced tying itself into a knot, until that horrible pang of thought that had struck her earlier, immediately following her collision with Gunther, shot through her again and numbed the feeling in her stomach entirely.
"I—I have to go," she croaked spontaneously after what seemed like a very long and awkward silence, her voice emerging from her mouth like a squeaky gasp or a teary whisper.
She had expected him, in the state he was in, to nod quietly and allow her to walk away. What she hadn't been expecting was for him to act so...unpredictable...for his head to snap upwards and for his eyes to bore into her like they were searing her own, for him to suddenly raise his voice and yell at her as if she had seriously offended him.
"I try to actually have a normal conversation with you, and you're just going to leave?!" he nearly screamed, those eyes plunging into her as if they were daggers. "You're the one who is always complaining about me being so heartless!"
Jane felt as if she had been slammed up against a wall. The shock of Gunther's reaction stabbed her worse than the shock of hearing Dragon spill her secret. What was wrong with him?
"I-I'm sorry!" she cried out desperately, feeling utterly terrified and confused. "I didn't know you would get so angry—"
"You never know. You wouldn't know at all how I feel, would you?" he spat, interrupting her.
The maliciousness of Gunther's tone felt like a knife twisting somewhere inside her, and she could feel it breaking into that well-hidden raw spot that was so easily damaged by his taunting. That old rage, that old self-defensiveness began to swell within her, slowly easing its way through her whole body.
"Don't patronize me," she muttered softly, but dangerously, her breathing growing more rapid.
"I wasn't patronizing you," hissed Gunther.
"Yes, you were! You always do! Talk down to me as if I am more lowly than Smithy's pig—"
"Maybe you are!" Gunther yelled impatiently, cutting her off—only to realize one second later, as his face contorted in horror, what he had just said.
An agonizing silence penetrated the space between them for a moment, as Gunther guiltily watched Jane's green eyes suddenly enlarge in disbelief, her lip begin to quiver, and her nostrils flare shakily...before she unleashed her fury on him in full force.
But, the terrifying thing was, she brought her voice to no louder than a whisper.
"You're worse than I thought," she replied softly, but darkly. "And I thought maybe...you were better than you let on...I was wrong."
Jane intentionally ignored the stunned look of remorse on Gunther's face as she spun around and began rapidly walking away, blinking hot tears away from her eyes. She ignored him calling out to her, apologizing. She ignored him even when she heard his feet pounding on the ground as he ran after her. She ignored him until she felt his hand touch her shoulder barely. She whirled around in a rage, suddenly realizing she was shaking and that the tears were now streaming down her face.
"Don't touch me," she growled in a low voice.
"Jane, please, I don't know what's gotten into me, I didn't mean to imply—you're not as lowly as any—"
"I said, don't touch me!" she shrieked, wrenching her arm away from him and breaking into a run.
"Jane, wait!"
But she ignored him again, and didn't stop running until she stumbled up the stone steps and into her bedchamber, where she flung herself onto her bed and sobbed herself to sleep.