This is based solely on some speculation, not really spoilers. The usual disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the actors or the show. The untrained monkey executives at Fox do. Unfortunately, they're too stupid to realize a good thing. I also don't own anything to do with the original, "It's a Wonderful Life" or Jimmy Stewart. You've got to know a little something about the original movie to follow along here.

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Ryan wasn't really sure how the accident happened. One minute he was up to his neck in holiday decorations, and the next he was coming to in the Emergency Room with Taylor laying next to him.

He knew it was the Cohens' idea to keep him "distracted" and "busy" during the holidays, as if hanging Chrismukkah lights would somehow help him forget this was the first year without Marissa.

Ryan groaned as the pain and burning were forcing him more and more awake. Because of the horrendous headache, he didn't bother to open his eyes, not until he heard the soft, "Ssh, it's okay," and found Kirsten and Sandy both staring down at him.

He blinked a few times as he tried to focus on them. "What happened?"

"There was an accident." Kirsten said softly, which Ryan realized was the exact same thing she said seven months earlier.

This time, however, instead of Sandy saying 'car accident', he said, "there was a problem with the holiday lights, and you ended up getting an, um, electrical shock. But the doctors say you're going to be fine in a few days."

Ryan tried to piece it together, but was still coming up blank. He sort of remembered Taylor shouting his name, but until he woke up in the hospital, nothing else was clear.

When he heard Taylor whimper next to him, Ryan tried to sit up, only to have Kristen "ssh" him again as she pushed him back onto the bed.

"She's fine, Ryan, or she will be as well. Her mother is coming to bring her home in a little while."

Not knowing what else to say or do, Ryan laid back on the bed, still trying to remember the accident, but for some reason, wasn't up to asking any more questions. "Tired."

"They gave you something to help you stay calm and regulate your heart rate." With Ryan's eyes closed, he didn't see Kirsten glare at Sandy.

"Regulate?" Ryan started, but was stopped by Kirsten, "Don't worry about it for right now. We can talk about it later, when you're feeling better. Try to get some sleep."

"Kay." Ryan was just drifting off when he heard a man's voice, "Mr. And Mrs. Cohen?"

"Dr. Richards, is everything alright?" Kirsten's voice sounded so far away. Ryan wanted to hear what this doctor had to say, but it was too hard to open his eyes. At the same time, he found it was impossible to fall asleep as he tried to find out what was wrong with him.

"I was just going over Ryan's records." After a pause, Ryan heard the guy continue. "I see that Ryan was brought in back in May as the driver of a fatal accident."

"That's right." Ryan heard Sandy say, as if the guy was confirming their pizza order.

The doctor continued, "And prior to that, Ryan was involved in a near-fatal shooting and was badly beaten."

Ryan immediately recognized Kirsten's tone. "What are you getting at, Dr. Richards?"

"Three serious accidents requiring hospitalization in the span of just a year and half?"

"Your point being?" Again Ryan could hear the tone. He was hoping the doctor would catch onto Kirsten's tone as well and just shut up. No one needed to remind any of them of Ryan's accidents.

Finally he heard Sandy. "They were a series of events in Ryan's life that he didn't have any control over but unfortunately was involved in. Not one of them was Ryan's fault."

Ryan strained to hear the doctor's response to Sandy's obvious lie, but the room suddenly got very quiet. He barely heard the doctor say, "If you say so, Mr. Cohen. They'll be moving Ryan to his room shortly. As I told you before, we'd like to keep him here for a few days under observation. His injuries are no longer life threatening, but we'd still like to monitor him."

Sandy and Kirsten both mumbled something that Ryan couldn't make out. He was sure he heard a door shut and hoped that meant the doctor left. He tried to talk but could only manage a moan, which earned him another "ssh, it's okay" from Kirsten.

As Ryan began to drift asleep, he felt someone touch his arm. He knew by the softness of the hand, it had to be Kirsten. "How many more times can we go through this, Sandy? Twice in less than a year, I've picked up the telephone to have some hospital person tell me Ryan's been in an accident."

"Well, if you include the infamous Trey shooting, it's been three times for me."

"Don't remind me, please." Kirsten continued to touch his arm, which didn't make Ryan feel better. He tried to force himself awake. He wanted to apologize again for again scaring them and again dragging them down to the hospital, but he just couldn't wake up enough to talk. Unfortunately, he could still hear them, and that did little to help the guilt that was beginning to build inside.

"Will it ever get easier for him?" Ryan could hear the weariness in Kirsten's voice. He could also tell that her question was more rhetorical than anything else.

"Kirsten, it was just an accident. He'll be fine in a couple of days. This isn't like the car accident. He'll be fine."

"This year has been such a nightmare. I was really hoping to get through Chrismukkah and into the New Year without anything else going wrong." Kirsten sighed loudly before she continued. "Speaking of Chrismukkah, we better tell Seth that we need to postpone the start of the holidays until Ryan's home and feeling better."

As if Ryan wasn't already feeling guilty enough, hearing Kirsten talk about canceling the start of Chrismukkah - Seth's uber holiday - did little to help him feel better.

"The doctor said Ryan would probably sleep through the night. Why don't we go home, clean up from the accident and talk to Seth?"

"Later, after they get Ryan settled in his room.""

It was the last bit of the conversation Ryan heard as he slipped into a drug-induced, guilt-ridden sleep.

He wasn't sure how long he was out, but Ryan was suddenly startled awake by a lot of commotion and yelling around him. He opened his eyes to find his bed being pushed down the hallway by some guy in scrubs

Ryan assumed that he was being moved to his room, but that didn't explain the loud voices. He looked around and saw Veronica Townsend yelling at Kirsten and Sandy.

"If Julie Cooper had cared enough to put her foot down, she'd still be alive!"

"Veronica!" Apparently, Kirsten also had no problem with being loud in a hospital, but that didn't seem to faze Mrs. Townsend.

"Well, I'm here to tell you, I care enough to say No. I do not want Taylor around that kid ever again. If it wasn't for him, none of this would have ever happened."

"Really? And how are you going to stop her since Taylor now lives with Julie Cooper and not you?"

"I'm taking Taylor home with me right now, with explicit orders that she is never to see Ryan again. If he comes any where near her, I'll have him arrested."

Ryan noticed how close the two women were standing. For a minute, he was worried that it might get physical. Apparently, Sandy must have been concerned as well as he quickly moved between Kirsten and Mrs. Townsend. "Well, it might be a little difficult to have him arrested in his own home."

Mrs. Townsend finally took a step back and glared at Sandy. "I beg your pardon?"

Even lying in bed, Ryan could clearly see the smirk on Sandy's face." You don't want Taylor around Ryan, then tell her to stop coming to our house, or maybe we'll have her arrested for trespassing."

As Veronica Townsend huffed and puffed away from Kirsten and Sandy, and they turned their attention back to him, Ryan closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He didn't want them to know he heard Mrs. Townsend. He definitely didn't want to hear their platitudes about how wrong she was, especially since she was one hundred percent right.

If it wasn't for him…

Ryan continued to doze on and off after he was moved into his room. Every time he woke up, his mind would drift back to the same thought, "If it wasn't for him…"

He wasn't sure what time Kirsten and Sandy finally left for the night. He knew a nurse had come in at some point and gave him another shot of something. He also knew Kirsten and Sandy both gave him a kiss on his forehead and whispered goodnight before leaving.

And all he could think about was, "If it wasn't for him…"

Sometime later, he didn't know how many hours later, Ryan slowly became aware of the fact he was not alone in his room. It took a minute or two to focus on the small figure standing at the foot of his bed.

"Hello, Ryan," the voice said.

"Taylor?"

"Yes?"

"You need to leave. Your mother…"

Taylor walked to the side of his bed. "My mother is an evil woman."

"But she's right."

"Right?"

"Yeah, she's right. If it wasn't for me, it would all be so much better." Ryan didn't know why he was saying it out loud, but it was just Taylor – she probably wasn't even listening.

Surprisingly enough though, she was. "What would be so much better?"

Ryan stared up at the ceiling. Even if the room was darkened, it was easier than looking at Taylor. "Everything. Everyone. Marissa, Seth, Sandy, Kirsten, Summer. Hell, even you."

"Really? Let me guess – you wish you were never born." Taylor's voice was thick with sarcasm, surprising Ryan.

He hesitated for a minute before mumbling, "Okay, fine. Maybe not never been born, but I definitely wish I never came to Newport."

Ryan wasn't sure what telling Taylor would do for him. It didn't make him feel any less guilty. He also didn't know what he expected Taylor to do or say.

He certainly didn't expect her to snap her fingers or announce, "Fine, Jimmy Stewart, you never came to Newport."

Ryan closed his eyes when Taylor turned on the lights. He suddenly wanted her to leave – preferably on her own. She wasn't helping him. She couldn't help him. No one could. But Taylor being Taylor didn't leave.

"Very funny, Taylor. Will you please leave before I call the nurse."

"No nurse, Ryan. No doctor either. There was no accident because you never came to Newport."

That's when Ryan noticed he was no longer in pain. No more burning or sore muscles. No headache. No tingling in his arms or legs. He felt completely fine. Strange, but fine.

Taylor lowered the rail on the side of his bed. "Ready to see what Newport's like without the brooding bad boy from Chino?"

"Sure, no problem. I'm sure no one will notice me walking around in a hospital gown."

Taylor laughed as she handed Ryan a bag. From where, Ryan had no idea. "Well, as much as I'd love to see you in something backless, I think it would be best if you put your clothes on."

Ryan dumped the contents of the bag onto his bed. He looked down at the old gray hoodie, his old fake leather coat, white ripped tee shirt, K-mart Trey hand-me down jeans and his old scuffed boots. "Taylor? Where did you get all this? Most of this stuff Kirsten threw away. You decide to start dumpster diving in your spare time?"

"How could Kirsten throw your clothes away, Ryan? You two have never met."

Ryan simply shook his head as he began to put on the clothes he hadn't seen in years, forgetting how uncomfortable cheap clothes really were. "I'm not sure what drugs you're on, Taylor or what drugs they have me on, but if you want to play 'It's a Wonderful Life,' fine by me. Anything to get me out of the hospital. Take me away Clarence, I'm all yours."

Taylor slapped Ryan on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his bicep. "You're so silly. I'm no angel, so you don't have to call me Clarence. But I will show you Newport Beach sans Ryan Atwood. I think you'll be very surprised by what you see."

As Ryan opened the door, he again shook his head. "Well, it can't be any worse than it is now."

"Don't be so sure, Ryan Atwood," Taylor said as they walked undisturbed through the hospital corridor. "Don't be so sure."