Suboshi paced back and forth across his room, trying unsuccessfully to burn off some of the nervous energy that he felt. The events of earlier that day played through his mind repeatedly. He and his brother had been sitting there, discussing a child, and the next thing he knew they'd been locked in a kiss.

Plunking down on his bed, Suboshi let out a frustrated sigh. He just didn't know what to think anymore! His body was demanding, quite loudly, that he hunt Amiboshi down, throw him on the nearest bed, and proceed to have his wicked way with him. His mind, however, cringed away from the idea. Perhaps it was because of the way incest was frowned upon by society. Perhaps it was something else. He just didn't know anymore.

Suboshi glanced outside and realized it was getting late. He had purposely avoided taking dinner with the rest of the seishi so he wouldn't have to deal with his brother. However, the kitchen would be closing soon, and if he didn't leave now he was going to have to go hungry.

Jogging in the direction of the kitchen, Suboshi reveled in the feeling of the night breeze on his too hot skin. It took him only a moment to get there, and he was relieved to see that the light was still on. Bursting through the door, he collided with a warm body and tripped, saved from falling only by the arms of the person he'd run into. He looked up with a sheepish expression on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." His voice trailed off as he saw his brother staring at him with startled blue eyes. //What rotten luck...// he thought absently. They stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Then Amiboshi turned red, hauled Suboshi to his feet and vanished out the door.

Kyoko, one of the kitchen girls, watched this exchange with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Sit!" she commanded, pointing to one of the stools. Suboshi obeyed, and after a moment, began beating his head on the table.

Digging through the pantry, she asked, "So, kiddo, what's going on with you and Ami-chan? You two get in a fight?" Kyoko was the only servant in the palace who was on a first name basis with most of the seishi, except Nakago. She even managed to get away with bossing Tomo around, which amazed Suboshi to no end. Even though she was only sixteen, Kyoko acted like everyone's older sister, and was constantly poking her nose into their affairs.

She was incredibly perceptive when she wanted to be, and could always tell when there was something bothering one of them. Suboshi was no exception to the rule. "No." he replied quietly.

"Bull." She said, spreading out the makings for a sandwich in front of him. "People don't beat their heads on tables when nothing's bothering them. Besides." she said reasonably, "there was so much tension in the room when you walked in you could cut it with a knife!" Kyoko shook her knife at him for emphasis. "Not to mention Ami-chan seemed really depressed." Finishing, she handed him an enormous sandwich. "So, spill it kid. You'll feel better if you talk about it."

Suboshi took the sandwich and bit into it, chewing thoughtfully. "Well...we really didn't get in a fight." he said reluctantly. Piece by piece the entire story came out. Suboshi omitted nothing, Not even the fact that he'd kissed his brother earlier that day. Nearly an hour later found Kyoko sitting across from him, undisguised fascination on her face as she hung on Suboshi's every word. "And now..." he shrugged. "Well, you saw what happened. We can barely look at each other."

He was debating whether or not to tell her about his dreams, when something occured to him. He and his brother used to share dreams when they were children, usually ones that evoked a strong emotional response. They were always nightmares, but then, children never had sexual dreams, either. When they shared a dream, however, the one who recieved it second hand always had trouble remembering the details. Those sex dreams had a lot of the same qualities as the other dreams they'd shared. Suboshi blushed. He was pretty sure those dreams had been his brother's, not his. He was pulled out of his thoughts by Kyoko.

"Wow kiddo, this is pretty messy." Kyoko shot him a little smile. "But love problems usually are. You, Tomo-chan, Soi..." she trailed off, shaking her head.

Suboshi gaped at her, the dreams forgotten for the moment. "*Tomo?*"

She clucked at him disapprovingly. "Underneath all that god awful makeup, Tomo is just as human as you or I." She smirked. "A pretty good-looking human, too." Suboshi opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand to silence him. "Don't ask. I'm not going to betray his trust by telling you about it. Just like I won't talk to the others about this."

Suboshi's curiosity was eating him alive, but he managed to squash it, and turn his attention back to his own problems. "So what should I do?" he asked.

"Amiboshi told you that he was in love with you, right?" Suboshi turned pink and nodded. Kyoko propped her chin on her hand, brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Can't blame him, though. You *are* a cutie." She grinned when his blush darkened. After a moment she asked, "How do you feel about him?"

"I...I don't know." He shrugged helplessly.

Kyoko frowned. "Well, that complicates matters a bit."

"It does?"

She nodded. "But then, if you knew how you felt, you'd either be screwing him senseless, or beating him senseless. You wouldn't be talking to me." She blinked as Suboshi fell off his stool. A moment later he climbed back up, giving her a horrified look. Laughing, Kyoko poked him right between the eyes. "You," she announced, "are much too sensitive. Loosen up a little!"

"I can't believe you said that!" he squeaked. Pausing, he amended, "Never mind. Yes I can."

"And what's *that* supposed to mean?" She demanded in mock indignation.

Suboshi snorted. "That you're absolutely impossible."

Kyoko smirked. "Oh, is that all? I could have told you that!"

Suboshi groaned and let his head fall to the table with a thud. "You're bad for my mental health." he mumbled.

"Honey, I'm bad for *everyone's* mental health." She laughed.

When Suboshi stood up, she glared at him and commanded, "Sit your pansy ass back down. I'm not done with you yet."

Suboshi blinked at her and almost laughed. Pansy ass? She was calling him a pansy? Shaking his head and grinning, he did as he was told and sat back down. Only Kyoko would have the audacity to call a Seiryuu seishi a pansy.

She reached out across the counter and took his hands, all mirth gone as she looked at him with a serious expression. "Suboshi. You know I love you and Ami-chan like you were my own brothers, right?" At Suboshi's nod Kyoko continued. "I only want you two to be happy. And right now, Amiboshi is incredibly depressed, and you don't seem much better off. I don't like seeing my boys like that." She sighed and shook her head. "I'm no great fountain of wisdom, and I can't tell you what to do. The only advice I can give you is this: Do a little soul searching. Don't look to me or your brother for answers. Look here." She tapped his chest, right over his heart. "And after you've sorted through your own feelings, go talk to Amiboshi. Though, knowing that boy, he'll be avoiding you like a plague. So if you need any help," she winked at him. "just let me know and I'll truss him up so that he *can't* run."

Suboshi couldn't help but laugh at the mental image a Kyoko tackling his brother and tying him up. "Thanks, Kyoko."

"No problem kiddo." She stood up and walked around the table, drawing Suboshi into a hug. "Just tell me how it goes, kay?" With that she started pushing him toward the door. "It's getting late! Go get some sleep."

Suboshi smiled and nodded, feeling a little better then he had before, even though he still didn't have any answers. "Good night!" he called over his shoulder as he walked out.

"'Night, kiddo."

~~~~~~

Amiboshi ducked out of his hiding place in the kitchen and into the relative safety of the dark and deserted banquet hall. He wasn't sure if he should be happy or depressed. On one hand, his brother didn't hate him. On the other, Suboshi didn't seem to feel the same way about him as he felt about Suboshi. Eavesdropping hadn't helped at all, either. It had just left him with more questions then answers.

Sighing, he ducked out of the banquet hall, nearly colliding with a boy who was running past. The boy peered at him closely. "Amiboshi-san?" he asked hopefully.

Amiboshi found it rather amusing that everyone had such problems telling him and his brother apart. "Yes?" he replied.

A relieved look passed over the boy's face. "Would you please come with me, Amiboshi-san? Nakago-sama wishes to speak with you immediately."

"Of course." He replied, brow furrowed. What on earth could Nakago want?

~~~~~~

Suboshi wasn't particularly tired, so instead of going back to his room, he decided to wander the palace grounds a bit. Kyoko had told him to do some soul searching, and that was exactly what he intended to do.

He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he loved Amiboshi dearly. He was fiercely devoted to his twin, almost to a fault. But, did he love him like that? When did love go beyond simple affection to something more? As he mused over this question, he saw the subject of his thoughts walking toward him slowly, head bowed. Amiboshi didn't seem to notice his presence, absorbed as he was in his thoughts.

"Amiboshi?" he called, blinking in surprise when his brother didn't even raise his head. "Amiboshi?" he tried again, a little louder this time.

Amiboshi blinked at him, and Suboshi noticed that his twin looked a little dazed. "Oh...Suboshi. I was just looking for you."

"You were?"

"Yeah." Amiboshi sighed. "I'm going to Konan."

The statement took a moment to register. "What?" Suboshi gaped at him. "Why?"

Wrapping his arms around himself Amiboshi looked up at the stars. "According to Nakago's spies, the seventh Suzaku seishi, Chiriko, hasn't been found yet. He wants me to go to Konan and pose as Chiriko."

"That's insane!" Suboshi growled. How dare Nakago send his brother right into the enemies clutches?! "What if you get caught? You'll be killed!"

Amiboshi shrugged. "Nakago seems to think I can do it."

"I'm going with you." Suboshi said.

Smiling slightly, Amiboshi shook his head. "You're needed here." He scratched his arm. Suboshi blinked as a matching scratch appeared on his own arm. "You're the only way I'll be able to communicate with Nakago."

Suboshi sighed. "I suppose....when do you leave?"

"Tonight. Nakago wants me there as soon as possible."

Amiboshi was filled with a sense of foreboding. Something told him that this was it. That this was the last time he was going to see his brother. //Say something, stupid!// his mind screamed at him, //Don't just let it end here. Say something! Do something!//

Reaching out, he grabbed Suboshi's hands. Forcing himself himself to look his brother in the eye, Amiboshi took a deep breath. "Listen, Shun-chan." he said, forgetting to use his brother's seishi name. "I...I've got this feeling." Amiboshi's voice quivered slightly. "I don't think that I'm going to live through this."

Suboshi's eyes widened. "Don't--"

Amiboshi silenced him with a shake of his head. "Shun-chan, I...." Unable to find the words to express what he wanted, Amiboshi leaned forward and pressed his lips to Suboshi's. He tried put all of his love, his pain, and his fear into that single kiss. A moment later he pulled back slightly, forehead resting against his brother's. "I love you," he whispered in a tear choked voice.

Suboshi stood silently, unable to move as Amiboshi pulled away and left him. He stared ahead with unseeing eyes, heart hammering in his chest. A while later, Suboshi became dimly aware of an odd pain on his arm. As if in a dream, he looked down slowly, the single word barely visible through his haze of tears.

Always.