Disclaimer: I do not own or make money off of CSI. All characters are property of CBS and its affiliates.
A/N- I have every intention of finishing this story. I want to thank those who are sticking with me. This chapter has given me a lot of problems, and I'm not over excited about it, but hopefully it will move us forward in the story. Again I offer my apologies for my horrible spelling and grammar.
OVER EXPOSED: Chapter Ten
Gil Grissom sighed as he ran his hands through his graying unkempt hair. He had been pacing relentlessly in front of Catherine Willows door for the better part of the last hour, anxious to talk to one of his closest confidants and at the same time concerned that the last few months and his action regarding Sara had changed their relationship forever. Despite his nervousness and over all avoidance of both women he found himself outside their currently shared residence. Sucking in a gulp of air he finally found the courage to knock on the front door.
After a few moments Catherine Willows jerked her front door open. "Gil what are you doing banging on my door at five in the morning?" Her blue eyes flashed in anger.
"Catherine, we need to talk." He decided to get right to the point. "Can I come in?"
Catherine rolled her eyes but stepped back and allowed him entrance into her home. Ushering him toward her kitchen, she began preparing a pot of coffee, doubting she would get back to sleep anytime soon. "Coffee?"
"Please." He sighed.
"So talk." She gestured toward him as she retrieved two mugs from her cabinet.
"I'm going away for a bit and I need you to resume the supervisor position until I return." Grissom casually stated, hoping she wouldn't ask question but knowing she would.
The blonde CSI gaped at him for a moment, before crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes. "Does this have anything to do with Sara?"
"Of course not Catherine, you know me better than that. I have to take care of something personal." He poured the coffee into both of the mugs and handed her one.
"Something personal, huh? Well you're going to have to do better than that if you are waking me up at five in the morning." Catherine sipped at her coffee as she positioned herself on a stool at her kitchen bar.
"It's personal Catherine…" he started before shaking his head in defeat, arguing with the feisty blonde was pointless and he was tired "…I have to have surgery and need time to recover."
"Is this about your hearing?" She asked knowingly.
For a moment he looked at her his eyebrow slightly raised in confusion. "Yes, was it so obvious?"
"No but I know you Gil." She left it at that. "How long?"
"Two weeks maybe three at the most. I have a good chance, the doctors are confident." He sat his mug down. "I'd prefer this stays between us."
"It will; do you have someone to help you after the surgery?"
"I'm going to recover at my mother's home; I have been meaning to visit her for a while now." His eyes shifted to the living room landing on Sara's walker. "How's Sara?"
"As well as can be accepted, she's on crutches though refuses to use the walker at all. Sara s tough Gil, physically she is recovering at a remarkable rate."
"What about emotionally?"
Catherine twisted her mug nervously. "She gets by day to day." She almost told him about her breakdown the night before in the shower, but shook her head at the thought; not wanting to break the younger woman's confidence. "She just needs time to deal with what has happened to her, and I don't just mean this year. Because of her slight amnesia she is dealing with everything as freshly as if it just happened, memories that I'm sure she has repressed and ignored." Catherine wiped away the few tears that had spilled; she couldn't help but get a bit weepy when thinking about what Sara Sidle had experienced in her lifetime.
Grissom handed her his hankie. "Is she still going into that catatonic state?" When he heard from Nick about Sara staring off into space he had been concerned; not only for Sara's health but for her job. If she got a psychological blemish on her record she would likely not be able to work in the field anymore.
Catherine frowned as she dabbed at her face. "Yeah, it just comes out of nowhere. I try to convince her to seek treatment, but she really has a strong dislike to psychiatrist; actually she seems to hate any and all medical professionals."
The entomologist nodded in understanding. "If anyone can convince her, you can Catherine."
Smirking Catherine handed him back his now wet hankie. "I couldn't convince you to see her."
"I saw her, she doesn't want me." He blurted out before he could stop himself.
The blonde studied the man before her. His faced showed the stress of the last few months, and she was certain he wasn't eating or resting as well as he needed to be. "When did you speak with her, and why am I just hearing this now?"
Waving her off Gil turned toward the door. "It's not important, she made her feelings known. I'm not coming in tonight; have fun doing all the paperwork." He smirked a little and let himself out.
Catherine sighed and shook her head in misery. She had no doubt that he left her a lot more paperwork than necessary and she already felt a headache forming. Rubbing her temples in frustration she gulped more of her coffee. She felt more awake now and she really didn't feel like trying to sleep more.
Nick Stokes shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "How long do you think you'll be?"
"Not long, two hours maybe." Catherine reassured her friend. "She's still asleep Nick, she's exhausted so you'll probably not even see her. Just hang out for a bit, I need to run a few errands."
"Yeah, okay…just don't be too long." He ran his hands through his shortened hair.
Catherine rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Jesus Nick, Sara's your friend stop acting like it's a chore."
"I'm not…it's just…I hate seeing her like this…"
"You think I don't? Do you think she's having a picnic?" She snatched up her bag and turned toward door. "Stop being so selfish Nick!"
Nick sighed in defeat as the front door slammed closed. He didn't mean to be so hard on Sara, he just missed how they use to be able to sit and chat together. He missed the younger woman's laughter more than he imagined he ever would. It was depressing to see his once energetic friend so scarred and timid; not to mention her space outs. It was almost cruel to have to watch her, he felt as if her was invading her privacy.
Resigned for the moment he tried to focus on the TV, flicking through the various channels at lighting fast speed. The only solace he found was that cable television would always be ready to numb the brain with endless amounts of useless fodder. Nick was just getting into a nice rhythm when he heard a crash coming from the bedroom.
Startled, he sprinted toward the source of the noise to find a semi naked Sara crouched on the floor by the bed. "Sara!?"
The brunette lifted her head, a frown etched on her face. "I was trying to climb back up into the bed." Her eyes welled up in embarrassment, not only for her current state of undress, which consisted of a towel and nothing else, but also to be found out by Nick. Of all the people to witness this it had to be the one that was the most uncomfortable around her next to Gil Grissom. "I'm sorry."
Nick gently lifted her up on to the bed, carefully wrapping the towel around her. "It's okay Sara, it's not a problem."
"No it's not okay…nothing's okay! How can you say that? It's not even that high off the floor!" She fisted the sheets in anger. "I'm a fucking ugly gimp who can't even crawl into a bed without help!"
"Sara you are not a gimp, you're healing. Jesus, give yourself a break, you can't expect it all to be normal so soon!" Nick felt his own anger rising at the situation.
Glaring, Sara threw her arms up. "I notice you didn't refute the ugly part. Admit it Nick, I'm dirty…a tainted dirty whore with scars!"
"I see you're throwing yourself a pity party Sara, glad I was invited!" His own anger at the situation had pushed him over the edge.
Mouth gaping in shock, Sara stared at Nick wide-eyed.
"I'm sorry…that was out of line." Nick reached out for the brunette to have his hands slapped away.
"Go fuck yourself Nick." Sara seethed; her voice low with forced control.
"Sara…I'm sorry…" He ran his hands over his face in shame; his own eyes welled up in tears. "I didn't mean it…you know I didn't."
Sara lips tightened in frustration and rage. "Get out."
"Sara…please…"
"Get out."
"No. You can't force me to leave. Right now you are going to listen to me. I was wrong to say what I did, especially how I said it. I just don't like hearing you say those things about yourself, you are a beautiful and strong woman…nothing that has happened to you or will happen to you will change that." He stepped toward the bed his arms stretched out meekly. "Those scars that mar your body are testaments to that fact Sara."
Reaching out he lightly traced a slight scar crossing her eyebrow, ignoring her flinch. "This scar right here, it lifts your eyebrow up just a bit. When I see it I'm drawn to your beautiful brown eyes, and that scar there…" He gently touched the top of the scar on her chest. "That scar reminds me of how close I came to losing one of my friends no…family…and just how precious you are to me."
"I don't want you reminded of that Nicky; I don't want you to remember that."
"Well I do Sara; I want to remember, because I took you for granted. I took everyone for granted, but I won't anymore. Your scar is making me a better person a better friend, and maybe it's selfish of me to appreciate something you distaste so much…maybe it is, but I can't help it."
Sara sniffled as she finally let Nick cradle her in his arms. "What about the future Nick, not everyone appreciates scars like you do."
"Honestly Sara I can't tell you the future but I can promise you that if you meet the right person those marks will not make a difference." He kissed the top of her head. "I meant it when I said you are beautiful, anyone would be lucky to have you."
"I'm so tired you know…I'm just…tired…" She trailed off.
"Go to sleep than, I'll protect you."
"My knight in shining armor?" She quipped.
Nick chuckled. "Something like that."
"No offence Nick but Catherine is softer." Sara settled her head on his chest.
"Plushier too I bet!"