Introspection

Author: CaliaDragon

Fandom: Buffy

Character: Xander

Challenge: 100 AU's

Prompt: 003 – Ends

Rating: FRT

Warnings: Character Death

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Summary: An Introspective look at one life as he comes to the same place each year.

1/1

I've come to this spot many times over the years and each time I am swept back to that day. I can feel the warmth of the sun upon my damaged face as we walk into the school. Hear the rush of the blade as I battle against the dark forces trying to overtake us. I remember the fear, the pain, the rage, and the confusion of battle and fleeing for my life.

Many lived and many died on that day, some only to be returned, lost and returned to unlife yet again. I guess chosen vampires like slayers automatically receive a return to life card at each death. So many times, I have stood here, trying to make sense of that day and those deaths.

I wish I could say that I went on with my life made a new future and forged a new path, but I can't. I kept up with my task, the task I appointed for myself at 14, fight against the dark and protect the slayers.

I've watched all of my friends trade up to a real life, they have found men and women to love, Dawn and Faith are both expecting their first child. Buffy and Angel finally got together, while Willow and Giles found their loved ones within those that survived Sunnydale, Willow with Kennedy and Giles with Andrew of all people.

I still fight; I still support the slayers, me alone. I've traveled to Africa, Egypt, the Sudan, Nigeria, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, China, New Guinea, so many places and countless slayers. I have found myself friends, loved ones, and thankfully very few enemies. Through it all I have been alone, I have always made sure though, that I came back to Sunnydale and the crater in time to acknowledge what was lost and found here. Again, I am usually alone, I am the only one who comes here, and the others feel it is an opening of old wounds. I think it's a celebration of life and those I have loved.

I have stood here looking down into the crater, remembering each day, wondering at how I made it another year alive and I have always turned and walked away.

This time I won't walk away. Imagine my shock to turn and face Spike and watch as he went to game face, a smile crossing his face. I smile in return I can sense it. His soul is gone; he's going to keep his promise.

I'm free.