On Defending Cuddy in "Who's Your Daddy"
I'm hearing quite a few comments months back regarding the injection site Cuddy chose for the fertility meds and the need for House to do it for her. Some comments are quite hostile but I consider their ignorance an excuse. So with the want to educate, I would like to point out that I think I can justify why it has to be on her ass.
There are actually 3 kinds of injections. Intradermal, Subcutaneous and Intramuscular which we often times call IM. Intradermal is the type wherein a 1 ml syringe is used along with the smallest gauge needle use for skin testing of antibiotics, it is injected to the arm around 10 degree angle from the surface and should produce a wheal (like that of a mosquito bile). Subcutaneous or SubQ is the other one used for insulin injections. It is use to deposit medications in the fat layer of the integumentary system in a 45 degree angle. It's site are usually a few cm down from the deltoid and at the belly (in an almost 90 degree angle because our abdomen usually has more adipose tissue and the muscle are so deep down embedded).
Lastly the IM is an injection type wherein the needle has to target the muscle which is the deepest of the skin layer. It is here that a 90 degree angle is used. Usual sites are the thigh, the butt and around 3 fingerbreaths down from the deltoid bone. After injecting the needle the meds cannot just be pushed out. The syringe has to be aspirated before its content is to be pushed. The rationale is that the person injecting has to make sure he passed down from the subQ layer and has not pierced a vessel so be it a node or a blood vessel before injecting the meds. So I believe Cuddy there used an IM type of injection as indicated in the medication box. She cannot do it to herself because 2 hands are very important in aspirating: one hand to stabilize the syringe in a 90 degree angle while the other pulls the plastic cap (I forgot what its called).
Ask me, why in the butt and not in the deltoid? Because fertility meds needs to take effect in the ovaries and uterus and from the deltoid its just quite a long travel for the meds to kick in considering that it has to be injected twice a day.
Ask me again: why not just in the thigh? Because the IM in the thigh is used only for newborn babies accepted in the NICU/Nursery for Cord Care. They are being injected Vitamin K in the thigh because it's the only part with a mass of muscle easily detectable and the rest of their body is just brown fats.
Another reason I can think of of why it has to be in the butt is because someone with that attractive butt really has all the rights in the world to show it off. Hell, if I am Bryan Singer the butt will be a part of the cast, even just for special appearance in every season. And if I'm House, I am so not going to rest until that ass is mine.
Now, sorry for the delay.
On to the story.
Title: Perfection
Author: angcatalonan
TV Show: House, M.D.
Pairing: Cuddy/House (Huddy + someone)
Timeline: After "Who's Your Daddy" until maybe a few episodes on season 3 (in the later part of the story) where House can already walk without the cane… I am still downloading the episodes and have not watched it. I am just going to put a few detail that I know.
Summary: Cuddy graduated second in her class in med school. Someone is better than her and that someone is her ex-boyfriend missing in action for 13 years. Just when everything is as predictable as she wanted and all planned he came back. She was taken aback with shock so is House because all of a sudden everything about his relationship with Cuddy has restrictions. This summary must work because I am running out of words.
Disclaimer: I am Bryan Singer and I hate myself for letting the X3: Last Stand go for the love of Superman Returns. I am Hugh Laurie and the charismatic Dr. House who is so damn good in imitating American accent. I am Lisa Edelstein that owns a great butt that even James Bond will have his share of sleepless nights and bed wets.
Claimer: Cuddy's Dream Boy here is actually my Dream Boy, I am just lending him to her. Actually, both of them. House and Thorne.
CHAPTER 1
The Anticipation of the Last Donor Applicant
HOUSE managed to dodge every Cuddy sighting he has since morning. He knows that once she caught her, she will once again kill him with all the lectures not anymore about finishing clinic hours but about wearing a formal suit and attending the upcoming party. He doesn't give a damn to another human being with a blood almost similar in color of those with Vogler even if they have a lot of bucks in their petty pockets.
A charitable institution from a wealthy business firm from EurAsia is willing to invest a whole lot of money for the nuclear research department of the hospital, according to Cuddy. They are also, according to her, is "blindly willing to walk a fine line with fires in them" to sponsor him in all his "innovative means" of diagnosing and coming up with a treatment for a patient. That is when she ended up not only managing the hospital and the college but also planning a ball for the representative of the firm for a fine-dine welcome party in the coming weekend.
He walked past a few third year med students in the hall on his way to the cafeteria when he found Cuddy lecturing one of them in the nurse's station with the patient's chart on her hand. Confident that she, being so drawn in educating idealistic doctors for the future will not be able to catch him watching her, he leaned on the wall directly adjacent to her back.
Cuddy suddenly turned and pointed one of her fingers to the intravenous fluid and side drip hanging by the side of the sleeping patient on the room across the hall as she breathe words barely recognizable to House as he concentrates in the fine lining of her lips as she speaks. The poor student is trying to answer her nagging questions regarding the patient and the present treatment mentioning also the importance of hydration when a nurse approached Cuddy. She excused herself from the discussion when she accepted the brown envelope and took the time to open it. In the envelope is another white envelope in which after Cuddy had read the address of whom it was from she dismissed the class and stormed off heading for the elevator.
House found it strange for Cuddy to do just that because after looking at his watch he realized that it is still almost one and a half hour before 12. Meaning it is too early for Cuddy to dismiss a class not even near for their lunch break. So aroused by curiosity he forgot the almost whole day of dodging Cuddy as he called out her surname so loud that almost everyone in the floor took the time to glimpse at him. Even Cuddy stared at him blankly as if completely lost when the elevator she is waiting for opened. She turned to get on it not waiting for him when he shouted again.
"I'm sorry for falling asleep during sex last night! Ok? I said I'm sorry!"
Cuddy's jaw dropped. She was so shocked and embarrassed that she forgot to close the elevator doors or even press a floor on the console. House was able to catch up and sneak in to the elevator while watching Cuddy turn red. All the students and floor nurses gaze at her with eyes wide open when he managed to press the close button.
"Need to talk…" he said right after the doors shut close.
Cuddy, still in disbelief of the humiliation, stared at House for the nonsense he pulled.
"How's my party doing? My tux will be delivered in your office before Friday…"
She withdrew her eyes from his direction and looked down in the floor, shaking her head.
"What? You have not invited my hooker? She is my gift to Mr. EurAsia Firm Rep's first night. Very irresponsible!"
"Shut up!"
"So that is how you treat the benefactor-magnet of this hospital!" Cuddy did not flinch.
"Is that my new law suit?" pointing his lips to the envelope she's holding. "Who is it this time?"
"Not yours," she snapped, pulling the envelope away from his grab range.
"Yours? You are being sued?" he asked with a face of a twelve year old exaggerating a bull question when the elevator door opened.
Cuddy's eyes narrowed. Then she immediately stepped out of the elevator as she speaks: "Never gonna happen. The suing and the---"mouth motion---sex," as the elevator door closes in his face.
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WILSON is in the cafeteria when House appeared in the doorway. The day has been casually strange because a lot of Cuddy's third year med students are scattered all around the hospital. The food line is actually longer than usual and his lunch is taking more time than it has to. House made his way to him but positioned himself in his back in front of one of the first year ER resident. The resident moaned in contempt. That is when House faced him.
"Where is your esophagus?" he asked. Wilson made his own moaning.
"Right from my mouth down my hungry stomach," said the resident throwing House an I'm-not-an-idiot stare.
"What part of the heart is affected if I have a heart burn?"
"Go to the OPD Clinic if you need a consult. There is a Dr. House in there, quite good, so I've heard but narcissistic"
"No. Its an emergency, I went to the ER and found the ER doctor in the canteen. "
"Go, get yourself an ECG. I'm on a break."
"Idiot. Heartburn is pyrosis."
"I know that. I'm the doctor."
"So what part of the heart? These chest pain is killing me…" with some more acting.
"The ventricles---I want some lasagna, extra size, supreme cheese…"
"Wll I get myself some Digoxin, Dr. Moronic?" The resident's eyes snapped at him, he could not believe that the stranger just called him dr. moronic.
"Greg…" Wilson whispered in House's ear.
"No. Get yourself first an ECG. I know what I'm doing. I went to med school," the resident snorted.
"Yeah, I know that but sadly I went to med school too. And as I've heard heartburn IS pyrosis and both is GERD. Gastro-Esophageal Reflux D-something. Look that up on a book, moron." House said as he was taking up the lasagna that is being handed down to the resident. He took the fork and made a slice. While bringing slices after slices to his mouth as he explains. "It is usually an effect of pregnancy as the belly gets bloated, chewing the sphincter is being forced to open and the acidic gastric content chewing from the stomach makes its way back to your esophagus. Since chewing your esophagus is aligned in the pathway of your heart the symptom is chest pain described chewing with a burning feeling thus came the term, heartburn. chewingchewingchewing"
"Who the hell are you?"
"I am a doctor chewing. I am not pregnantchewing. I don't have chewing GERD!" He walked out after putting the empty lasagna plate in the resident's tray.
Wilson sighed. "Sorry, Dr. Santos. He is such an egoistic, narcissistic bastard."
"What was that?" Wilson asked House after taking some distance from the rest of the line.
"What a shame! Cuddy taught those med studs and when they take on their duties they end up not even knowing GERD!"
"Ah! I should have known it has something to do with Cuddy. So that's what's with all the gossip about everybody's opinion about falling asleep during sex is about… " Wilson said taking a bite from his own lunch tray.
"She got a letter in an envelope and acted out like a chicken."
"Sexy chicken, I must say."
"Sure. You know anything about it?"
"How would I know what is in a paper kept in an envelope delivered directly to her?"
"She asked you out once. On a date, you know."
"Your point?"
"You must know something..."
"Well, sorry to disappoint you, buddy, I know nothing," Wilson chewing.
"You must know something."
"I told you, I don't know---"
"You must know something," more of like an order than a question.
"Uh, no—why are you looking at me like that?"
House looked at him with puppy-like begging eyes.
"No," Wilson vehemently declared.
House looked at him this time with a threatening glare.
"NO!"
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CUDDY is in her coffee table opening up the envelope once again. This is just unbelievable.
She once again stared at the information of the last sperm donor profile sent to her. This man's IQ is way too high… higher than mine. He's about my age, took up med school from where I took it, graduated about the same time that I did. Only thing that gave him away is his ranking on graduation day.
First. He is First in his class in the University of Michigan about thirteen years ago. Took up specialization of Cardio-Thoracic Surgery in Ateneo de Manila in the Philippines. I think I know this guy. Can't be him…
She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't feel someone enter her office until Wilson cleared his throat. She almost jumps up in surprise only to realize that he is just a few inches from where she sits.
"I want to ask your opinion…uhm… about-ah-something…" Wilson stammered.
She returned the data back in the envelope as she composes herself to becoming the unbreakable hospital administrator and Dean of Medicine. "On what?"
"Uhm---Digital-Rectal-Exam?" Wilson shot a glimpse out of Cuddy's office where House is supposed to be watching. Must be enjoying this, he thought.
"I'm sorry?" Cuddy was somewhat taken aback in suspicion, "last time I checked you're the oncologist…"
"I---uh--- wanted to know something about milking the---uhm---prostate…" glimpsing again outside. Only right now he found no one at House's supposed-to-be position.
One of Cuddy's eyebrows rose while Wilson bit his lower lip.
"If you're gonna ask me about having House in my bed last night like he said before I enter the elevator door, it is so not true. The moment he said that is the moment he ruined my day---"
"I did not!" House shouted entering Cuddy's office with a bang on the door. "Your day is ruined by that envelop you're keeping in your lap! I hate people blaming me for things I did not do."
"Yeah, I forgot. Teen-agers have this crisis according to Erik Erikson about identity versus role confusion…" Cuddy barked back rising from her chair. "You are being confused on where you stand in my life!"
"Oh! And there is this according to the same psychosocial theorist you mentioned a crisis called generativity versus stagnation for old people in age bracket you are in!"
"Aherm!" Wilson gambled, risking his life in breaking into the cold psychoanalytical war. "Sorry for having to ask about the rectal exam…"
"I am soo not stagnant!"
"You are soo old!"
Cuddy's face turned to bright red up until the ear. Wilson grabbed House's arm forcefully to make him understand that they really should go.
"I am not going in your party! There is not enough hotdogs there to make me happy!"
"Go to hell for all I care!"
"Gotta go!" Wilson insisted. "The man in exam room two is freezing with his pants down… lubricant must've dried already…" dragging House's shirt desperately.
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IF Wilson had been alive since 1945, he must have had a ground for comparison of which was far more explosive: Pearl Harbor Bombing signaling the beginning of World War II or House-Cuddy Turmoil just a few moments ago.
He considered himself again, for the ninth time, as the exorcist who was unable to drive the devil away. "I never should have asked about the rectal exam…"
"Like for the eighty-fourth time, you never should've looked at me from the inside of her office," House said not even lifting his gaze from the laptop computer in his office table.
"I never should have asked about the rectal exam…"
"Stop whining! It's Cuddy, tomorrow you are forgiven. Day after tomorrow it would feel like it never happened. The woman is as resilient as a bamboo tree and as forgiving as the heavenly Father."
"I NEVER SHOULD HAVE ASKED ABOUT THE DAMN RECTAL EXAM!"
Chase, Cameron and Foreman from the other room glimpsed at their direction. House drove his swivel chair near the glass pane and pulled the Venetian Blinds close.
"Look, it wasn't really that bad. We got something."
"You got something. I, on the other hand, have an ass to save every time we come across each other."
"Well, I'm the Messiah. I will save you from the fires of hell."
"With you is hell…"
"The name is Dr. Thorne Adham, a well-travelled Cardio-Thoracic Surgeon. Graduated first in his class in med school. Millionaire in every currency, family-acquired. Practiced mostly in Asian countries and travels all around the world for conventions. Given some humanitarian sort of award four times in a row almost every year."
"Where the freakin' hell did you get that?"
"Cuddy's table."
"When?"
"Remember when she threw me some Erikson thories? Caught a glimpse at the paper. Something with Michigan U., Medicine, Top Notcher around 13 years ago. What had me is the very superior IQ. Led me directly to him."
"You insulted Cuddy to get this? We know his name, so?"
"I don't want him around in my hospital."
"This is Cuddy's hospital."
"What I'm so curious about is that what are his files doing in Cuddy's table? Why did she acted out like a chicken after being handed down with the information?"
"I don't know. But I really never should have asked about the rectal exam. I should have asked something else!"
"My hundred bucks say he's the benefactor representative from EurAsia." Why would he want to sponsor me? To totally ruin me? Schoolmates are bad asses!
"My hundred bucks say he's a sperm donor!" Wilson said in a vain attempt to portray sarcasm.
House's head snapped. The realization suddenly got into him. Bastard.
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HOUSE sat down at the edge of the hospital roof top. Thinking about Cuddy and Adham's possible offspring. Cuddy's height, personality and eye color is perfect. Adham's IQ, nose bridge and complexion being tan is perfect. Cuddy's celebrity standing in the medical profession and Adham's powerful wealth are other factors to add up in a life of perfection. Where does that leave me?
He grasped for breath. What did I just say?
"Hypothetically you met someone in your life that is so perfect that you wanted her to be yours---" Cuddy's voice bore through his solitude. He did not look at her standing in his back though he felt her there. He can smell the scent of her perfume: Burberry. "---then when all that you wanted nearly come to fulfillment, she drew herself away. You waited and waited until she returns but she did not until one day you accepted the fact that she can never be yours. Then at one time of vulnerability, you can get what you want from her, an opportunity to own a part of her. Would you grab that? Would you let it pass knowing that there might be no other chance?"
House stared at the hundred of meters down from the top of the building resisting the temptation to look at Cuddy and stare at all the perfection she owns that only he knows and not admit.
"Hypothetically, you grabbed that opportunity. You satisfied yourself and lived the rest of your life without regret. Would you be happy thinking that he should have gotten someone far more deserving of him than you are?" House shot back at her.
"Hypothetically, you let it pass. Hypothetically, you accepted that there will be no more together. What assurance does that give you that she will be getting that far-more-deserving-of-her-than-you? When deep inside you know that you're not perfect but all that you are, of what's left of who you are, are enough to make the perfect feeling together when you have each other?"
House's turned to face Cuddy, fast. He is suddenly confused of what they are talking about, whether its about him or about Cuddy or about Adahmh. He decided to walk away.
"That's why I'm single… I don't like perfection dilemmas…"
"Right. I get that." Cuddy smiled at his direction as he turn away.
"Listen to me, Cuddy. Go home. Get some sleep. I don't want my date for the weekend's party to have a week-pounds of black bags under her eyes. Don't embarrass me in front of my fans."
"I thought you're not going?"
"What? And miss all the tender juicy hotdogs? Besides, you had just apologized to me begging me on your knees to escort you in the ball, who am I to not succumb to that invitation?"
P.S. This is my first fic ever written in this site since my registration around 3 years ago so pls be kind. No flames and fumes, criticisms are welcome. And forgive my grammar, English is just a second language. I am very good though in Tagalog (language in the Philippines used mostly in the metro Luzon). Please review so I will have the drive to get on with the story. No good deed will go unrewarded, the good Lord will bless and keep you. Yay!