The Difference

"And for all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you wanna be
Yeah, what you wanna be"

Matchbox 20

She loved to dance. Jack thought to himself as he absentmindedly kicked a piece of garbage in front of him. He was alone with his thoughts, scarcely realizing when he turned at all the right streets and avoided collisions with those in his path. He shoved his hands deeper in his pockets and absentmindedly fingered a small velvet box. He stopped on one street corner, smiling bitterly as he remembered that early morning when she had woken him from a deep sleep and dragged him here. They had begun to hear the music float out from the concert hall's rehearsal section before they had even made it to the corner.

"Dance with me, Jack." She had implored, her laughing blue eyes looking up at him.

"You mean, right here?" He had asked in shock.

"Yes, Jack. Right here. I want to dance with you."

He smiled at her. He couldn't turn her requests down. Even though it seemed strange. Her eyes had lit up when he took her hand and led her to a clear space. She had beautiful eyes. Always blazing, always showing the world exactly what she was thinking. And always full of laughter and mirth.

He had pulled her into his arms, gracefully circling in time to the music. She laughed gaily and they had danced until the music stopped.

Jack shook his head, trying to clear his mind of that intoxicating memory. He forced himself to continue moving. Feeling wet droplets of rain on his face, he looked up. The sky was as gray as he felt. The drops started falling faster, and he welcomed the coolness they brought. They felt right to him. In this moment in time, when she was gone from his life, nothing but rain could feel right.

Savannah. Her name kept going through his mind. Over and over, filling himself with an aching emptiness he didn't know was possible.

He remembered the time she was his to hold. She had been crazy about him. Maybe she had even loved him. But now he would never know. He had taken it all for granted. Just holding her hand, or pulling her to his side, where he could slip his arm around her waist. He never knew how much those small gestures meant to him. But now when he reached out his hand, she wasn't there. And when he wanted someone to confide in, to share his thoughts, and his worries, there was nobody there to listen. Nobody who would listen patiently, and then force him to see things in a new light.

He needed her. Like he had never needed before. Her gentle touch, and her warm looks. He needed her sweet ways, her patience, everything she had ever been. She had made him better. He knew she had. Never before would a man like Jack have admitted that.

What he wouldn't give to look into her beautiful face again. To know she was his forever. But she had left, never to return again. He never knew a woman could make him hurt so much. He knew he should have gone after her. He shouldn't have let her walk away.

She had been scared, scared of commitment, and everything it would mean. Scared of him. He could have made her stay, could have reassured her. She would have stayed. He knew she would have. But he had been proud. When she had hesitated to his question. Had said she needed time, that it was a big commitment. Marriage was a big commitment. But he had loved her, and he knew she was the one. She just needed time, she had told him. He had snapped the ring box closed, concealing the humble but beautiful ring inside. His hurt had shown in his eyes, and he had told her to go. He couldn't forget the way she had looked. Indescribably sad. Hurt. But never angry. He had seen a tear escape her eye before she had the chance to hide it by turning away. He had let her leave.

He had kept silent, and kept still. Allowing her to walk out of his life as if she meant nothing to him.

Jack glanced up, realizing that the rain had stopped. He looked at the street signs wondering where he was. He sucked in his breath realizing where his feet had so willingly taken him. He stood outside the flower shop where she made her living. He swallowed when he saw the familiar bounce of brown curls. She looked different. Sadder. There was still a light in her eyes, but it had dulled. She still was smiling, but it held the hint of love gone wrong.

She looked up and he froze, when her beautiful eyes met his. "Savannah." He pushed the beloved name past his lips in a whisper. He saw her hand tremble, before she grasped her gloves in an effort to still it. "Savannah. I'm sorry."

She stared at him, wordlessly, as he drew in a shaky breath. "Savannah." He said her name again, loving how it felt on his tongue. "Please, I was wrong. Will you forgive me? Will you find room for me in your heart again?" He saw tears build in her eyes, and looked down, fearing her answer.

"There will always be room for you in my heart, Jack Kelly. There always has been."

His head snapped up, and he covered the distance between them in two steps, pulling her into his embrace, scared to let her go again.

"Jack. I've had time to think you know. And I know my answer."

He held his breath, willing her to say it aloud. "I want to grow old with you Jack. I want to raise our children together, and always be by your side."

He pulled back slightly to look into her eyes, and saw the love there. He smiled down at her, and reached into his pocket, pulling out the velvet box. He silently slipped the ring onto her finger. "I love you Savannah Marie Moore. I love you with all of my heart."

"I love you, too, Jack." Savannah, rested her head on Jacks shoulder, hoping he would never go. She new she had accepted his apology quicker then she should have. It only took one look in his eyes to tell that he had meant what he said. And that's all she needed.