The Disclaimers: Star Trek in all its forms and series belongs to Gene Roddenberry and the corporations. I am just borrowing them for this fan fiction and mean no disrespect nor am I making a profit on the work.

This is a Snippet in the IDIC Universe. A brief view of how Sarek views his relationship with Amanda.

By Lisa AKA FireStar

Rating : G

Archive: Selek Yes anyone else let me know where.

My Human Bond Mate

How can I write down feelings? I am Vulcan and we do not have feelings or at least we do not express them. I have promised my Human Bond-mate Amanda that I will write down my feelings about our bonding. Perhaps it would be wise to introduce myself first and then perhaps this missive will begin to make some logical sense.

I am Sarek Chi Skon of the House of Surak. I am the current Ambassador to both Terra and the The United Federation of Planets. I am the chief negotiator for the Vulcan people. Why would a Vulcan be writing about feelings when the entire universe knows we suppress feelings, indeed we suppress all emotional responses except two. Curiosity and the marriage-bond. So at the request of my bond-mate I am attempting to write down my feelings. I am just grateful that she will never read this…

Who is my bond-mate you ask? My Bond-mate is Doctor Amanda Grayson. A human who is the most exceptional example of her species and race. When I first meet she who is my wife it was an unexpected shock. I looked up and there she was. It was as if my soul cried out.

Did I mention that this log is to be locked up for 100 standard years….

As time went on Amanda became essential for my well being. Acquiring her became a full time pursuit. I knew after that first day I would find a way to have her. A primitive part of me considered simply sweeping her up and beaming to the Surak. I could have been home on Vulcan in 4.2 days and had her chained to my bed in 4.5 days. I considered that option for 5.2 minutes until she smiled at me and laughed with such utter trust in her eyes.

Make that 300 years I do not think I want my offspring to read this…..

I admit it , I faltered in my plans. Logic dictated that I wanted her and could take her but … Then she would not smile at me. I realized that if I took her it would frighten her and that I could not bring myself to do….

She looked at me and smiled brightly almost as if she could read my thoughts. The Tips of my Ears turned green…

I do not recall ever feeling so caught out. Yes I felt caught.

Feeling yes …I must admit my human mate makes me feel. I feel so deeply that it frightens me. I know that if I lost Amanda my life would be over. She has become my reason to greet the day and my desire to embrace the night. In public I maintain this stern Vulcan mask. No one must ever know that the Vulcan Ambassador loves his wife. Why?

She who is my wife thinks I do not show my love because I am Vulcan. Some of her people believe it is because I do not care. Ironic is it not that it is because she is the very Air that I breathe, my very soul that I must act indifferent. Already Amanda has become a target. Fanatics on all sides seek to harm her and seek to destroy our bond. How much greater would the danger be if they realized how vital she who is my wife is to me?

I love my human wife so, she will walk three paces behind me. She says she likes the view? I have wondered at this…. Perhaps I shall ask Daniel why this is? Then again maybe I do not wish to know the answer?

My human wife must seem like a Vulcan mate at all times. Three paces behind me and never touching me in public. If we held hands it would become all to clear how vital she is to me. I would chain her to my side.

She must never receive a smile from me. It is far better our union be seen as political... safer for my beloved bond-mate and lover. If my enemies ever knew the truth then her life would be forfeit. Far better I seem cold and indifferent.

No one will be allowed to endanger our bond. She is my mate , my heart my very soul, my very human wife.

Only for her would I ever bear my soul and she will never know the truth. I will protect her even from myself.

Part II

I can not write this down…

She has asked me to Write this so I shall.

I am a Vulcan and I must never show emotions. Yet in this life of mine I have taken a Very Human wife.

A human who needs to feel. I often wonder at this contradiction in my life. How did it happen that She has become my very soul? Is it possible that I to long to feel ? Am I getting my emotional Fix from my mate? No, that is not true . I would never use her is such a way she is to important to me. I know she is many things. Teacher, Mother , Lover and ….most importantly she is my best friend. I have had numerous allies and associates over my lifetime. Friendship for a Vulcan as humans know it is rare. I have such a friend in Soran and perhaps my brother Silek. Yet, deep down my truest friend is my mate. She offers comfort and support without condition or complaint. My needs always come first with her. She sees to the littlest concerns. My desk always has those little mints in it. A small thing but it shows she is there thinking of me. The rare tea I prefer is always packed on our trips. The soft sheets and warm robes.

How can I explain the emotions I feel when I look at she who is my wife. I do not understand this pull she has for me. I have killed to keep her safe and would do so again with or without ponn far. This is a frightening thing for me. I am a civilized being but ,a threat to She would trigger a protective nature that no human could begin to understand. Yes, she holds my life in her hands but it is not that as I would gladly trade my life for hers. No ,it is something more something undefined... Or perhaps it is defined as I can not claim it?

Off computer I can not write this down….

Personal Logs

I can not believe human male are so foolish. Vulcan males have three to four ties the muscle mass of a human. The gravity of Vulcan is 1.5 points higher and out atmosphere is .50 thinner. So on Earth a Vulcan has a considerable advantage over a human. Why am I mentioning these seemingly random facts?

Humph…. Humans I could grow to hate them if it were not for my very human wife.

We attended a party at the Terran Embassy. In truth I was not really interested in attending but duty must be meet. I admit also that I had hoped this social event would provide she who is my wife with some human companionship in a controllable venue. Control now there is something Humans seem to have very little of. Now of their social functions and certainly not of their personnel. We arrived on time though it was a near thing… The reasons are hardly relevant. We came into the party together and then moved through the crowd. As always I was in the lead. This position sometimes offends humans but it is designed to protect our females and children. It is an honor to lead and guard she who is my wife. Somehow we became separated and she was cornered by a human. A human that took her out onto the dance floor creating a spectacle by drawing unwanted attention to them. My wife tried to tactfully disengage but human males are stubborn. In the end it fell to me to rescue her. Every instinct I had was to rip this male apart. Violence would not be the best most logical way to solve this problem. I considered how to proceed with care and determined it would be wisest to employ a human method. To this end I spoke to the director of the band and then went to "Cut In" As the saying goes. Amanda came into my arms eagerly as always. The male rather ungraciously let her go. The need for violence was avoided. I do believe that my creative solution shocked her. She seemed so certain I was going to tear the human apart. I must admit my control was tested but I would never risk her being caught in the middle of violence. It is my place as the male to protect her for every Vulcan knows it is the female that is the most important part of our people and society. I wonder why humans do not place such a value on their females? Instead they allow them to be in harms way? It is something I must ask her one day when we have time to discuss inter species relations again.