"Misa, get off me."

"Why Raito?"

"Because I'm trying to work."

"But you've been working for so long. Don't you think it's time for a break with Misa Misa?"

No, he thought, I don't.

Raito Yagami had been trying desperately to get the gothic lolita model off of him, and to no avail. He was running out of options. What else can he tell the hyper active blonde that'll make her leave him alone? This desperate situation was driving him to the edge, and he was afraid of doing something rash.

"Come on Raito-kun, talk Ryuuzaki-kun into letting you have a break. Then we can go have spend sometime together."

You seem to forget the handcuffs.

Raito couldn't stand it. Not today. He'd already had unhealthy amounts of Kira-tests being thrown at him from the genius detective he happened to be cuffed to. After minimal sleep, maximum security, and a whole morning of seemingly pointless questions and tedious paper work, he was not thinking straight at all. No, rather he was thinking quite curved. In a half circle. And multicolored.

"I'm sorry Misa but I can't go out with you."

"Not today?" she pouted. "Ok then, maybe tomorrow–"

"No. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

"What?! Why?"

"Because I'm gay."

The stunned silence was not enough. He needed to drive this home. He needed her to leave him alone. He couldn't leave it at that. He had to overwhelm her to get her to go away. He pulled sharply on the handcuffs, pulling L's stilled hand within grabbing range. He grasped the detective spidery hand and held it tightly, looking over at L.

"And I've been secretly having a relationship with Ryuuzsaki-kun. I love him; not you."

L briefly pondered saying "You must have been very secretive about it for even me to not know." but the death glare he was getting from the teen was enough to kill the words in his throat.

The room was deathly silent; L was waiting for the comedic cricket background noise, or fake sitcom laughter to start playing. But of course, nothing of the likes happened. Instead, Misa released her death grip on Raito's arm and stepped back, smoothing her black mini-dress over her womanly figure. Raito breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, if that's how you feel..." Misa started, looking intently at Raito. "I suppose you leave me with no choice but to get a sex change."

Raito hit his head against the keyboard hard, hearing the voices swell up around him.

"Son, why didn't you ever tell me? You seemed so happy with those all girls you dated..."

"Back off Ryuuzaki, he's mine."

"Now, now Misa-chan. He just admitted he loved me."

"Wow Aizawa-san, we could film this and turn it into a T.V. drama. We could call it, "Kira Case: Behind the Scenes" Good idea, no?"

"Matsuda?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

Raito hit his head against the keyboard repeatedly. This day couldn't get any worse.

"By the way, Raito-kun? I'm all out of cake and Watari's sick. We need to go out and get some."

"Oh, can we stop by the mall on the way back? I need to buy some boy's clothes."

Scratch that. It just did.

Poor Raito XD It's funny what boredom will force you to write. The original title was "In Which Raito-kun Fails to Rid Himself of a Parasite, and Ruins His Life in the Process." but that was obviously to long. I hope you enjoyed it!

-Hybrid