AN: 2-15-2017 edited it so it's not so eye-searingly bad.

Today was a good day for science and Hojo. He had finally completed with the reorganization of his notes (they were all neatly arranged on his desk), implanted more voices into Vincent's head (it amused him greatly). Then he had successfully convinced Sephiroth to sit still and not kill him as he examined him in the name of science and those idiots had finally installed the new aquarium in his office. His squid were most pleased. In his opinion the new aquarium was the second greatest accomplishment of the day, the first being not dying.

He whistled happily as he walked through the winding corridors of Shinra tower to get to his office, coffee and donut in hand. He couldn't wait to look proudly at the neat stacks of paper and notebooks on his desk as his squid happily swam in their new home. As he reached towards the doorknob, he noticed that it was oddly warm today. He made note to turn down the heat in his office when he got in, wouldn't want his squid to get too hot.

He opened the door, stood there blinking stupidly for a moment and then screamed as though the world was collapsing around him.

In another part of the building.

"You look happy today. What did you set fire to?" A suspicious Tseng asked Reno as the redhead practically bounced into the room. The mischievous Turk flashed him a smug grin before taking his seat at the table. Rude watched this all calmly, his eyes and emotions hidden behind his sunglasses.

"Why does everyone automatically assume I've set fire to... or killed something... or done something especially malicious to someone, when I am in a good mood?" Reno countered, shrugging off his uniform jacket. Tseng raised an eyebrow at him and Rude snorted.

"Maybe because you're only in a good mood when you've done those things?" Tseng asked, shaking his head in amusement. Rude said nothing as he either stared or glared at Reno, he may have just fallen asleep though. Reno poked Rude in the head, definitely asleep.

"Just tell me so I can give you a foolproof alibi when they come looking for you." Tseng sighed, rubbing his forehead in an attempt to stave off a headache. Reno paused in his poking of Rude and stared at him, pulling a marker out of his pocket as he did so.

"I set fire to Hojo's desk." He announced with a grin and then set to scribbling all over Rude's face. Tseng sweatdropped and shook his head, he would eventually save him from Hojo but he wasn't saving him from Rude when he woke up.

And back to Hojo.

"MY NOTES!" Hojo screamed at the top of his lungs as he fell to his knees in front of the blaze that was his desk. He started to weep, from both the smoke and the loss of his life's work. Actually he had several copies of his notes in various places, but this was the only one that was neatly organized.

"What in the name of Bahamut is going on here?" Scarlet demanded sharply, sticking her head out her office which was right next to Hojo's. She sneezed from the amount of smoke in the hallway and strode over to Hojo's open office door.

"Hojo! If you are doing one your crazy experiments in your office again I am going to... castrate..you..." Scarlet trailed off, seeing the weeping Hojo and the inferno that was his desk. If that kept up her office would soon go up in flames along with Hojo and his diabolic notes. Her eyes drifted to the aquarium where the squid were floating around and doing squid-like things.

She recalled a distant, traumatic memory from her childhood. Her sister had accidentally set the kitchen table on fire and her father had beat it out using her beloved pet, Mr. Bubblebutt. If she could stand seeing her beloved fish die at the age of five Hojo could surely stand to see his squid sacrificed for the good of the company.

She reached into the aquarium and grabbed one of the slimy, squirmy little buggers, a disgusted look on her face as she did so. She threw it at the fire where it promptly burst into flame. She blinked and threw another just to be sure that one wasn't a freak. Then another, then another until finally all of Hojo's squid were sizzling on his desk.

"Well that didn't work out as planned..." She sighed, shrugging as Hojo let out a tortured wail, mourning the loss of his two most precious things. She watched the flames devour the squid and what was left of Hojo's desk for a second and left to find a fire extinguisher... or a bottle of Gin. Whichever she found first.

Today's moral: Squid are flammable.

Thank you to all who have read and reviewed, know that I appreciate you greatly.