Title: My deadly Sin
Pairing: Atobe & Oshitari
Genre: Angst/Romance
Disclaimer: Prince of tennis does not belong to me
Warning: A close examine on a mental disorder that is rapidly plaguing the world
A.N. This fiction is dedicated to all the girls and guys out there who had suffered and died in the journey of eliminating what they called "imperfection."In addition, please note that I am not glorifying the disorder and thanks you for R & R.
My deadly Sin
Chapter 1: The beginning
Quad me nutrit, me destruit
(what nourishes me also destroys me)
Voices from the past:
"My god, look at that kid."
"How can he eat that filth?"
"He look like a pig."
"Hah, fatty."
"Hah, look at the chubby kid."
"Someone should tell him to put down the fork."
"Yeah, he can probably live off his own flesh for years."
"Hah, fatty"
"Flubber"
…
The voices stop. At that time I was only five years old, but even then I know that being fat was not a good characteristic to have. In my opinion, it was better to be dead than to be fat. Being fat alone was enough a reason for others to look down on you.
The stares
The taunting
The never ending torture
I was never a fat kid, but from that day on I vow to never become a fat kid even if it kills me. I continue to sat on the swing and observe the scene before me like an outsider. The chubby kid had done nothing wrong and yet his presence alone was enough to make him the main target of other children.
I learn two lessons that day. One was words could be hateful and the second lesson was words could cut deeper than any sword. Some wounds weren't meant to be healed. I never saw that kid again. I used to wonder what happened to him, but I stop years ago.
November 24, 2005
It is that time of the year again. It is here, the most hateful holiday for people like me had arrived. I despite Thanksgiving, a holiday created for the sole purpose of stuffing people with poison till they exploded from over consumption. I fear the holiday Thanksgiving and had always wish that I can erase the date from the calendar.
The day when we committed the most sinful crime
Gluttony
One of the seven deadly sins and in my opinion it is the most disgusting of them all. Even thinking about the word "Gluttony" alone sends goose bumps down my skin and made me want to vomit. Like always, I had managed to escape the much dreaded dinner by faking illness again. In the safely of my own room I took out my food diary and started recording my progress for the day.
Today's intake:
Breakfast:
-1 cup of black coffee with 2 packs of splenda
Lunch:
-1 apple and water
Snack:
-1 sugar free gum and water
Dinner
-5 pieces of frozen grapes and water
Total calorie intake: 200 calories
Workout:
-4 hours of tennis
-6 hours of running on treadmill
-200 sit ups
Total calorie burn: 3000 calories
This won't work. It simply won't do. It is still not good enough. I am eating way too much. After years of living on the bare minimum my metabolism had slowed down drastically. A small apple felt like a three course meal to me and it just won't do.
The body would burn so much more if I could just stop being a pig and just eliminate fruits from my diet. I need to run more. I need to burn the excess calories from my body. I need to sweat. I need to purify my body. I know that by working out I will be able to purify my body of the excess filth and in return I will become empty once again.
Empty
Such a beautiful word
Such a clean feeling
I smile as I analyze the meaning of the word in my mind
…
TBC