Nameless
(Loveless)
Summary: Youji and Natsuo want a name that only THEY own, one for them and them alone. (Y x N)
One-shot
Rating: G to T just in case, nothing bad folks.
Pairing: Youji and Natsuo all the way.
Genre: Pure Fluff (:D)
It was a boring day for the Zeroes.
Soubi, before leaving for class that morning, had explicitly forbidden them from maiming, torturing or causing any permanent damage to anyone or anything, threatening to kick them out of his apartment, so they were racking their brains trying to find ways to amuse them. Eventually they settled on photocopying one of the rather graphic and lewd drawings they'd found in Kio's diary and stapling the copies around the apartment and outside on trees and telephone poles.
Kio discovered them and stormed in the door, his face flushed with anger, clutching a handful of crumpled paper. "WHO DID THIS?"
The boys, pretending to be asleep, tried to look as angelic as possible. Youji cuddled closer to his fighter and Natsuo wrapped his arms around him. This brought a faint smile to the Sacrifice's face.
"HEY! WAKE UP!" Kio smacked Natsuo with a rolled-up. "Don't fake being asleep! I'm not falling for that innocent act!"
Youji sat up, yawned and pouted. "Who said it's an act?"
"I'm not stupid!" Kio whined.
"Could a fooled me," Natsuo said in his sweetest voice. "Can you get me an apple, Youji?"
Youji stood up and moved over to the table. He poured himself a glass of milk and then, grabbing an apple from Soubi's fruit bowl, he tossed it in Natsuo's direction. Conveniently, and PURELY coincidentally, it smacked into the back of Kio's head, knocking the collage student's glasses off. Kio picked up his glasses, complained, and stormed from the room to rip down as many drawings as he could before Soubi arrived home, yelling behind him that "YOU TWO ARE NOTHING!"
Natsuo chuckled and picked up the apple, biting into it with a satisfied crunch. Youji wrinkled his nose as he sat next to his fighter, sipping from the tall glass of milk in his hands. "You're really going to eat that, Tsun? Apples are gross."
Natsuo stopped mid-bite and gaped at his sacrifice. "You… don't like apples?"
Youji's face paled. "No… I don't."
Both boys realized at the same time what this meant and how grim Youji's announcement was. Here it was in plain color: a difference between the two of them, a flaw in their seamless unity. As far back as they could remember, they'd had each other. They finished each other's sentences, came up with the same devious plans, at times they even dreamed the same dreams. Now there was this tiny detail creating a space between them.
Natsuo looked positively depressed, dropping the shiny red fruit in his hand. "Sometimes I think we're the same person, Youj',"
"So do I, Tsun, but I guess-"
"We're not." This last line was spoken in perfect unison and it brought a smile to the two youth's faces to share the words between their lips.
"But we share a Name," Youji pointed out. "Shouldn't that mean we're like each other in every way?"
"We're not the only Zeroes," Natsuo said glumly. "A whole other series was created with the same names as us. It means nothing."
"Kio was right," Youji said with a perplexed frown. "We are NOTHING. We don't have our own name, and even that means Nothing. It's really… meaningless."
"Nothing, void," they said together, the words forming an unshakeable connection. Sadness descended over the couple like a blanket of cold snow. And then, Natsuo's face brightened to a fire hot enough to melt the snow around them. "I have an idea, Youji."
"What, Tsun?" Youji moved to embrace his partner, twining his slim fingers in his dark reddish curls.
"We'll just have to get a new Name," Natsuo said with a determined glow in the green eye that was uncovered. "A name that means something."
A grin grew on Youji's face. "A name for us and only us."
And so the Zeroes threw themselves into their task, laying together at night on the futon, winding their fingers in each other's hair, whispering name after name to each other. They were so wrapped up in finding their perfect title that they forgot to cheat when they played ps2 against Kio (who was able to pick up his first legitimate win against them at Tekken 4, ever.)One afternoon, as they sprawled across the futon in the sweltering summer sun, they continued with their list, rolling names around on their tongues as though they could taste-test them.
"Heartless," Kio suggested dryly.
Natsuo picked up a shoe and tossed it at him. It hit its mark perfectly.
"How about shameless?" Soubi suggested, looking up from painting a portrait of Ritsuka.
"That should be YOU, Soubi," Youji said, making a face.
"Yeah, pervert," chimed in Kio, instantly recovering from the flying sneaker that had smacked him in the head.
"Fearless," Natsuo suggested.
Youji was about to agree but stopped and thought for a long second. He hesitated before shaking his head.
"Why not?"
"I… uh, I might have one teensy-weensy fear."
Natsuo looked perplexed. "What in hell's name could YOU fear, Youji?"
Youji leaned in very close and said, in a whisper so soft it was barely audible, "I kind of, uh… I'm afraid of…" He chewed on his lip. "I'm afraid of losing you."
Natsuo's cheeks turned a very un-Natsuo shade of pink and he cleared his throat. "Okay, not that name."
"Painless," Youji said softly.
"Painless," Natsuo repeated, tasting the foreign word on his lips. He smiled. "I like it."
Ritsuka, who had been silent up until that point, suddenly spoke up. "But that name can't be true. No-one can live without pain."
Youji rolled his eyes. "We can, Loveless. We were designed to."
"Not like that!" said Ritsuka, blushing. "I mean, you-… it seems like anytime you love someone they will cause you pain, or someone will be able to hurt you, or losing them would cause you pain. There is always sadness where there is happiness, and sadness causes a pain… maybe not a pain you can feel on your skin or a pain that draws blood, but…" He stopped, his violet eyes shadowed and hurt. "But, don't listen to me."
The two youths on the futon looked at each other for a long minute, holding each other with their eyes. They tried to remain defiant but the thought leaked through, mirrored in each boy's gaze. I would hurt if you weren't around. I'd feel pain then. But they brushed it off, refusing to give way to this sentimentality.
"Well then what would you suggest, Loveless?"
Ritsuka's face reddened. "I didn't mean to- I mean," he took a deep breath. "Why is it important anyways? Names like that aren't always true. A name doesn't make you who you are. A name like mine implies that I should be without love, that I love nobody and nobody loves me, but-" He froze mid-sentence and Youji and Natsuo snickered.
"Go on, Loveless."
Ritsuka stumbled over his words now. "I just- that's not really the point. What I was trying to say was, well, all that really matters is that you're Youji and you're Natsuo." The sixth-grader chewed on his lip, looking through a veil of hair at the older males.
The Zeroes, the Nameless, looked at Ritsuka and then at each other. Natsuo sighed.
"Loveless is pretty wise. No wonder Soubi wants to get in his pants so bad."
(This, of course, caused Ritsuka to blush like mad and Kio to go off on his roommate again.)
"I suppose he's right. All that does matter is that I'm me, you're you, and-"
"You're mine and I'm yours." The boys grinned impishly and Natsuo pushed his companion down onto the bed, grinning like mad.
Everyone rolled their eyes and left the two to ravish each other or whatever else it was they planned on doing, but Ritsuka smiled to himself.
All that DOES matter is that I'm me. Let us be who we are and it doesn't matter if we're-,
Nameless.
Wow, this is the second Zero story I've written within the span of a week! I'm quite proud of myself. And expect more to come. You know the drill, R&R, and feel free to tell me where I can improve. sigh I'm so obsessed with youji and Natsuo lately...