Disclaimer: If I owned any part of Paramount, I would have been ON the show.

Notes: Adjusted for the J/C Index Endgame Challenge, a challenge for me since I am not an avid J/Cer.  This is also my first fanfic for public consumption so please be kind.  If you enjoy this please review.  And I do take requests so feel free to email me: [email protected]

Crossroads

By: liljaneybelle

"Set a course…for home," the captain ordered her voice nearly betraying the myriad of emotions she was feeling.

Shock, joy, and sorrow – to name a few.

The bridge remained eerily silent.  Harry leaned on his console bowing his head to hide the tears threatening to tumble down his cheeks.  The last time she gave that exact order they were all strangers at the beginning of an incredible journey.  And now they were home, at a time which fate planned as the beginning of another journey – the life of Voyager's newborn daughter.  It was a new life for all of them he supposed.  Harry glanced up to look at the viewscreen.  In the distance a small but familiar blue marble was gradually growing clearer.

A sniffle broke the silence.  Then another.

Harry slyly glanced around to see who it was.

There was a cough, then a sigh.

Harry saw the commander's shoulders begin to shake.

There was another sniffle and soon after a stifled sob.

Harry brushed away the few tears that slipped from his control and watched the commander's shoulders shake harder.

A chortle.  A cough.  Another soft sob.

Seven glanced at Harry curiously.  He just grinned and ignored the tears that continued to escape.  He nodded in Chakotay's direction, whose shoulders were shaking uncontrollably now.  The captain noticed as well and asked wryly, "Commander, are you quite all right?"

Chakotay tried to compose himself as he turned to address her question.  He maintained it as best he could until he looked in her eyes.  They were red-rimmed with unshed tears yet dancing with laughter and full of relief.

He threw his head back and laughed until he cried.  Harry immediately joined in.  Several others soon accompanied their jubilant giddy relief on the bridge.  Seven, who had never laughed a day in her life that she could remember, felt a curious sensation tickle her throat that was relieved when she expelled a breath with a melodious sound.  She put her hand over her mouth in surprise making Harry laugh all the harder.

"Ensign, that sound I just made…"

"A giggle, Seven.  You giggled," said Harry with gasping breaths, leaning on the railing beside her for support.

Then someone snorted making everyone burst out laughing once more.  Chakotay was doubled over at the helm taking heaving breaths and wiping the tears from his face.  Harry sat against the railing laughing and crying, enjoying watching Seven enjoying the new sensation of laughter.  Behind them Ayala was sitting against his console holding Sue Nicoletti in a bear hug.  Tuvok stood poised as ever with an eyebrow raised in curiosity at this odd human behavior that even Seven was participating in.

Kathryn Janeway had stood startled when Chakotay pealed with laughter.  She surveyed her bridge as his release had a cascade affect on the rest of her crew.  When Seven giggled she threw her hands up in the air and snorted with laughter and let a few tears freely flow.  She stepped forward to lean on the railing near the helm.

"I'm sorry…Kathryn," Chakotay sputtered, "we were just sitting here…and we're home… and we just…sat here…" he coughed, trying to catch his breath.  Then his face contorted realizing they were here and everything was different now. 

She didn't see his expression change, she only laughed…or cried…harder over the irony.  Was it irony?  She was sure something about all of this was ironic.  They were home.  She had, in a way, died to get them here – something she vowed she would do if necessary.  But she was also here, alive and well, standing on her bridge reveling in the sheer wonder of it all with the people, the family she loved more than almost anything she left behind seven years ago.  And they were moments from Earth, not thousands of light years.  Everything was different now; they were all home safe and sound.  The journey, the commitment fulfilled.  Was that a part of the Admiral's plan?  She barely had time to register that thought when she heard a wry voice speak up behind her.

"I swear, Doc.  They were all sane when I left."

Tom, B'Elanna, the Doctor and Voyager's littlest crewmember were just outside the turbolift.  After a brief but furious debate – the young parents adamantly for and the Doctor hopelessly against – the group came to the Bridge to complete the last leg of this journey with the rest of their family.  However, they hadn't expected the scene they stumbled upon.  The bridge nearly echoed with sounds of giddy laughter, heaving breaths and gasping sobs.

When tom spoke up heads swiveled in their direction.  The laughter and tears of emotional release quickly dissolved into congratulatory remarks, exclamations of delight and a few tears of joy over Voyager's new daughter.  Harry, eager to hold his best friends' child, charged over to them, claiming an uncle's privilege on the way.  Seven peered over his shoulder in curious fascination at the squirming newborn as Tom looked on with unabashed pride.

The Doctor guided B'Elanna down the steps gently where Chakotay and Kathryn greeted her eagerly and assisted her to a seat to the left of the captain's chair.  Harry had followed and handed the baby to an uncertain Seven who held the child carefully in her arms.  Her wide eyes gazed at the small creature in amazement; she had never experienced first contact with an infant after witnessing the events before and during its gestation period.  The wonder of it all awed her and she felt tears sting in her eyes.

"Lieutenant Torres," she whispered, "she is perfect."

B'Elanna exchanged a surprised look with her husband and captain before replying, "well, thanks, Seven."

The bridge crew had gathered close, eager to see the little one who made such a grand entrance into their world.  She soon began to fuss with all of the noise and attention making Seven, her parents and her godfather nervous.  B'Elanna took her child from the uneasy Seven but the wee babe continued to squall – loudly.  The Doctor whipped out his tricorder and began to scan his goddaughter in earnest as the captain chuckled softly.

"She's fine, Doctor.  She just needs to know where she is."  As she reached for the baby she asked the new parents, "you haven't changed her name have you?"

"Only slightly," Tom replied exchanging a glance with B'Elanna who continued, "Miral Kathryn," then added softly, "for the Admiral." 

Kathryn cradled Miral in her arms and bit her lip, nodding slowly.  She rocked her slowly then sat down in her chair making soft shushing noises.  She studied the young teary face carefully before she spoke, remembering something the Admiral had told her.  "Crewman Miral Kathryn Paris.  Welcome aboard, Voyager."  Miral had quieted a bit by then but when the captain spoke to her she stretched her little hand up to the voice.  Kathryn gave her finger to which the little one clasped onto tightly.  Kathryn looked up with a wide smile.

"Looks like she knows who the boss is," Chakotay teased quietly.

"Miss Paris knows she is home," Tuvok corrected.  They all turned to him in surprise.  "It is only logical," he continued.  "The excitement made her nervous.  It is common knowledge that even during gestation that children are somewhat aware of their surroundings.  The noise that accosted her here was unfamiliar but the captain's voice in the midst of chaos is not.  Instead it is reassuring to her, giving her the impression of security and therefore home."  No one was quite sure what to make of Tuvok's analysis but the Doctor turned their attention away from that for the moment.

"Speaking of home," he said, "take a look at our view."

All eyes turned to the viewscreen where Earth loomed large before them. 

"Mr. Paris, would you care to guide your family the rest of the way home?" Kathryn offered.

He grinned.  "Yes, ma'am."

Everyone understood that to be their orders to get back to work but Kathryn continued to cradle Miral in her arms.  It was times like this it was good to be the captain.  With everyone more or less distracted Kathryn took the opportunity to have a private moment with her youngest crewmember.

"You made one heck of an entrance, little one, one definitely worthy of a member of this crew.  How I envy you – you're journey is just beginning.  I have it on good authority you've done great things with your life once already…and we got to be pretty close.  Let's hope some things stay the same.  To your journey, Miral Kathryn."

B'Elanna was the only one to overhear the captain's one-sided conversation.  Kathryn felt her chief engineer's inquisitive gaze upon her.  Kathryn leaned to her right, so no one else could hear and whispered, "Let's just say she's more than just the Klingon savior."  B'Elanna's eyes widened in surprise and curiosity but before she could ask the captain what she meant Harry's excited voice announced Starfleet Headquarters' hail.

"On screen," the captain ordered rising.  B'Elanna rose with her, touching her arm and gestured to the baby.  Kathryn rolled her eyes.  Answering Starfleet's hail with an infant in her arms would have been interesting to say the least.  She turned to see Admirals Paris, Hayes, and Necheyev on the viewscreen.

"Admirals," Kathryn said nodding her head in greeting.

"Captain Janeway, crew of Voyager, welcome home," Admiral Hayes said proudly.  "We've cleared the grounds of the Presidio for your landing."

"The Presidio?" Kathryn repeated, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Yes, Captain," Necheyev replied glancing at her counterparts.  Hayes was grinning broadly, rocking on the balls of his feet delighting in the news her had just delivered.  Paris' eyes were fixed elsewhere on the Voyager bridge.  Necheyev sighed and continued.  "You'll all have to remain on board the ship while doctors from Starfleet Medical examine your crew.  Meanwhile you can send us any final reports and logs.  Pending Medical's decision you may disembark.  As per regulations quarters wile be provided for all of you during the debriefing process.  We'll begin as soon as you are on the ground."

"Understood, Admiral," Kathryn replied hoping she didn't sound too much like…well like Tom.  Necheyev had always gotten under her skin but now she'd have to get used to taking orders after seven years of being the law.  Getting used to working with the Admiralty again would be interesting.

Necheyev turned to her counterparts, "if there is nothing else, gentlemen?"

Hayes shook his head still grinning.  Admiral Paris didn't take his eyes off of the swaddled bundle in the young half Klingon woman's arms.

"Is that…" he began gesturing in B'Elanna's direction with a nod.  All but Tom followed his gaze.

"Yes, sir," Tom replied knowing to whom the Admiral was referring.

Admiral Paris nodded shortly but with a ghost of a smile.  "I'll see you all soon."  The Admirals winked out giving them the view of Earth once more.

Kathryn blinked, wondering briefly what the outcome of that particular reunion would be.  Then she snapped into action.  "Well if we're going to set her down, let's set her down in style, Mr. Paris."

Tom was relieved to have something else to focus on for the moment.  He took the captain's order as his cue for free reign in bringing the ship down.  "Yes, ma'am," he replied as incorrigible as ever.

"Commander Tuvok to all hands: go to condition blue.  We are preparing to land the ship.  Please report to code blue stations."

"Notifying Headquarters of our immediate decent," Harry added.

The crew quickly and uniformly performed their various functions as Tom lowered Voyager into Earth's atmosphere.  As they neared the west coast of the North American continent Tom glanced over his shoulder to ensure the landing was his discretion.  Kathryn gave him a nod and a crooked grin, having a good idea of what he wanted to do and knowing full well she would do it if she were at the helm.  He grinned and returned his attention to the helm.  He sharpened the angle of descent just enough so they all could vaguely feel the sensation of the ship hurdling towards San Francisco causing B'Elanna to let out a small yelp of laughter and Harry to chuckle knowingly. 

"Hold on to your hats, kids," Tom announced as he manipulated the controls.  They all looked at one another a bit confused at his words.  Kathryn barely got out her confused, "what?" when the ship nose dived towards the San Francisco Bay; they couldn't feel it but they could see it on the viewscreen and it was quite a sight.  To the crew's delight fireworks exploded in a wide range of colors all about them despite their midday arrival, increasing the excitement on board.  Tom allowed the ship to soar over the water and then he glided it gently over the Golden Gate Bridge.  Chakotay and Kathryn glanced at one another sharing a knowing, amused and somewhat triumphant look.  Something in their expressions made them hold their gaze a bit longer than intended.  It was a gaze with intensity that did not go unnoticed and the observer knew the decision made had not been in vain.  Chakotay blinked first and Kathryn returned her attention to the landing.  Tom was turning the ship to go for another pass over the bay.

"Tom," she said half-scolding.

"Just heading back to the Presidio, Captain," he called cheerfully.  "It's been awhile since I've been there.  I went the wrong way."  A few chuckled softly at that, knowing he wasn't exactly truthful.

Minutes later Voyager's landing struts were lowered and the ship gently touched down on Terran ground for the first time.

"We're down, "Tom announced needlessly.

"We certainly are," Kathryn said with a smile.  She rose to stand in the middle of the command center, hands on hips.  She took in the scene around her and then spoke carefully.  "I'd like to say now while I have the chance that I am extremely proud of all of you – in the courage, commitment and trust over the years.  Now let's show the brass how things were done in the Delta Quadrant.  I want reports from all departments in an hour.  Let's work on getting this ship ship-shape for our visitors.  Doctor, go to Sickbay and prepare the medical files for the representatives from medical." He nodded and left.  "Tuvok, I want a deck by deck examination of the ship."  Tuvok replied with a crisp 'aye' and left with Lt. Ayala.  "Chakotay, oversee all repairs.  Seven focus your efforts on the recent events.  Tom go with her and compile the report on all other sensor data."  They left and Kathryn saw B'Elanna move to converse with Nicoletti, her daughter in hand.  "B'Elanna where are you going?"

"Engineering," B'Elanna replied, her tone implying that should have been more than obvious.  Kathryn shook her head.

"Harry, Nicoletti, go down there and get things started."  B'Elanna's eyes grew wide in frustration.  "I know you don't want to be coddled, B'Elanna, but you gave birth what?  A couple hours ago?"

"But Captain, I'll just…"

"You won't just anything.  You have the Bridge, Lieutenant," Kathryn said firmly.  "Handle any incoming messages from command, collect the incoming reports and handle any issues that arise.  And I'd like you to contact Pathfinder and set up a comlink to the Delta Quadrant."

B'Elanna thought her frustration impaired her hearing.  "What?"

"Call Neelix," Kathryn clarified.  "Tell him we're home."  B'Elanna smiled.

"I'll be in my ready room," Kathryn finished but added under her breath, "trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to explain this."

The following hours were by far the most tedious.  The anticipation of being home but stuck on the ship was agonizing.  Per the captain's orders the crew reports were in within the hour specified and repairs well underway before they were interrupted by the medical exams.  It was the medical exams that were taking all the time, as the Doctors were being more than thorough.  Kathryn Janeway got hers out of the way early on in order to focus her attention on matters she thought to be far more important.  She was in her ready room reviewing the damage reports when the chime rang.

"Come in," she called, slightly distracted.

"I have the last report," Chakotay announced with a smile as her entered.

Kathryn didn't look up immediately, "They never cease to amaze me.  They were on top of things before we knew there were things to be on top of!"  She waved the PADD she was holding as proof.  "They are simply wonderful."  She took the PADD from him.  "What is this one?"

"Crewman Wildman's report about the experience," he replied unable to hide his amused grin.  Kathryn skimmed it briefly, chuckling softly.

"That girl is a first rate Captain's Assistant," she clucked proudly.  "Have you been examined yet?" she asked wryly.

"Just came from mine actually," he answered tugging on his ear.  "They're meticulous aren't they?"

"To say the least."  She rolled her eyes.  "I'm just glad its over.  Now…onto the debriefings, B'Elanna relayed the schedule," she said handing him a PADD, "and I'd like you to review my report as well."

"All right."  He took both and glanced at the schedule.  "We're going to be pretty busy."

"Starfleet bureaucracy – the one thing I did not miss," she joked.  The truth be told she'd gladly face any number of debriefings knowing it meant they were home safe and sound.  He knew it too and simply smiled.  She headed for the replicator.

"Coffee?"

"Sure but…"

"With two sugars," she finished for him.  She got their drinks and gestured to the couch.  "Have you given any thought to remaining in Starfleet?" she asked casually.

"Some.  I'm not sure what I'll be doing.  I guess it all depends…"

"On Seven?" she asked quietly.  He looked at her sharply.

"You know about that?"  She nodded.

"The Admiral?"  She nodded again. 

"Kathryn, I'm sorry you had to find out from…yourself?  But you need to know…"

"Chakotay," she interrupted, "there is no need to apologize.  I only wish you told me.  Why didn't you say anything?"

"I just didn't know what or how to tell you."

"The truth would have worked."  She tried to joke but it fell flat.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn.  I didn't mean for this to happen but I have to tell you…"

"What happens…happens."  She shrugged.  "There were no promises to keep.  We had everything but time.  I wouldn't expect you to wait forever anymore than you expected me to change my principles."

"Kathryn, let me finish.  There isn't anything to tell anymore."

"There isn't?"  Now she was confused…and a bit nervous having made a revelation she hadn't expected to make.

"No."  He sighed.  "She tried to break things off because the Admiral implied my feelings for her would cause me pain in the future.  I tried to protest, telling her she needed to get to know me a little better before she made that kind of decision for me.  She said she had been observing me for four years and she believed she knew me rather well.  She explained that she was just a part of what would make me happy.  She said I wasn't the type to settle and if I remained with her that is what I would be doing.  According to Seven she was not the woman I wanted, but she was trying to be more like her."  He stared intently in her eyes, imploring her to understand.  Why could he never, they never, say what they meant?

"Torres to Janeway."  Kathryn ripped her gaze from Chakotay's standing to reply.

"Go ahead."

"Headquarters reported that we are fit and have permission to disembark whenever we're ready."

"Thank you, B'Elanna.  I'll be right there.  Janeway out."

"Never a dull moment around here," Chakotay said rolling his eyes.

"We'll finish this soon.  I promise.  There is plenty of time.  They have waited for this day long enough."

"Agreed."  He rose and gestured to the door, "after you."

She nodded graciously and headed for her bridge to finally give her crew permission to leave the ship.

As Voyager's crew disembarked from the landed ship, they noticed a large crowd had gathered to greet them.  It was their families.  As soon as Voyager was first spotted in the alpha Quadrant Reg Barclay used every comline available to him to contact everyone he possibly could.  He did a marvelous job, word spread quickly and family members came from all over.  It was fortunate the medical examinations had taken as long as they did, for many had to travel some distance to get to Earth in time.  The initial moments were awkward, no one quite sure of how to behave.  Fortunately for everyone, Lt. Ayala's sons, two strapping young men, the elder a first year cadet, and their young sister, born months after her father had gone missing, dropped all sense of decorum and charged the crew, tackling their father in greeting.  Their gusto broke through the hesitation of both sides and soon a lively reunion began.  Sam Wildman grabbed Chakotay's arm, half-gasping, half-moaning, as she saw her husband for the first time.  Chakotay and a few others quickly parted the crowd, clearing a path for her.  Young Jerron swept little Naomi into his arms and charged through to deliver daughter to father.

Even crew whose families hadn't made it in time found themselves welcomed with open arms into the families of their friends.  Chakotay found himself on the receiving end of a bear hug from the particularly emotional mother of one Ensign Harry Kim.  Reg Barclay found the Doctor quickly and they at once began an animated conversation of life since they last met.  Seven and Icheb however did not know what to make of the chaos around them.  They had expected an emotional display however what was occurring was more than they were prepared for.  Holding Miral close, B'Elanna made her way to the two bewildered former Borg.

"Are you two alright?"

"Lt. Torres," Seven responded, "are you uneasy with all of…this as well?"

She shrugged.  "Maybe a little.  But I didn't want to fight the crowd with Miral."

"Most understandable," Seven agreed, her eyes wide.

"I noticed Tuvok and Vorik head over that way," B'Elanna said pointing to her right.  A few meters away the two Vulcans were greeting their families calmly.  "I'm sure Tuvok would like you to meet his family."

A look of relief passed over Seven's face and she smiled softly.  "Thank you, Lt., we would very much like to meet his family." 

"That was considerate," Tom said coming up behind her.

"It's a good day to be nice."

Kathryn Janeway smiled on the scene before her.  It really was the most beautiful thing.  Ever the captain, she watched to see that all her crew met up with someone before searching the crowd for her own family.  She was grateful Ayala's children had broken the ice; she feared the reunion would be uncomfortable, but the children freed everyone to embrace the moment.  She nearly laughed out loud when she saw five large men rush the Delaney twins.  Five older brothers explained a lot about those two.  It was with regret that she noticed B'Elanna and Sue Nicoletti in a solemn conversation with Joe Carey's wife.  His loss had been one of the last.  She observed that there were a number of people she recognized as family of those that died.  She vividly remembered writing letters to them, memorizing their faces from her crews' pictures in order to speak with them one day.  She watched several members of her crew detach themselves from the arms of their loved ones to see the families of their lost friends.  Upon speaking to them later, she discovered that the families of the lost also wanted to greet the lost crew their loved one had died for, to thank them for bringing home some knowledge of the life he or she had led.  Though she would always feel guilty for not getting all her people home safe and sound, she was touched by their families' gesture.  A sudden thought interrupted her musings and she began to scan the crowd worriedly.

            "Hey."

            She turned quickly, "Chakotay!  I can't find Seven or Icheb.  They must be lost in all of this!"

            "Don't worry.  I just saw Tom.  They are with Tuvok and Vorik.  B'Elanna found them quite disturbed by all the excitement and thought they would be more comfortable with a Vulcan reunion."

            "B'Elanna?"

            Chakotay nodded grinning, "And speaking of the Paris-Torres family, the Admiral has been looking for you."

            "I just want to make sure everyone gets settled first."

            "They will.  Come on.  Have you met Mrs. Kim by the way?"  She shook her head.  "Well, be prepared for a big hug.  According to the Admiral, Starfleet has arranged for everyone to be quite comfortable for the duration of the debriefings and any other hoops we have to jump through before we're on our own.  From what it sounds like we'll be extremely well fed."

            "I don't doubt it.  A home cooked meal sounds good right about now."

            He nodded. "Admiral Paris is having the senior staff to dinner tonight, provided Harry's mother will let him go.  I don't think his mother will let him out of her sight for a while yet."

            "I don't blame her.  Did you see Libby here?  She actually waited all these years for him.  I can only hope that it was worth it, for the both of them."

            "I think it will be.  It will be hard at first, seven years is a long time, but I think they'll make it.  If love can make it through that, it will make it through anything."  She stopped walking to look at him, wondering what he was implying when a shout was heard over the rumbling crowd around them. 

"Captain!!!"  The source was soon obvious.  Tom Paris was jumping over the crowd, aided by a nearby bench. 

            "It appears I am being summoned," she said dryly, "shall we?"

            The command duo made their way through the enthusiastic crowd, greeting numerous crew and their families along the way including the emotional Mrs. Kim who did indeed bear hug Captain Kathryn Janeway, much to Chakotay's amusement and Harry's embarrassment.  They eventually did make it over to the leaping Tom.

            "Momma?"

            It is said that only one's parent can reduce one from adult to juvenile in a matter of seconds.  The strong-willed Captain her crew thought to be tougher than the hull itself found herself feeling like a seven year old who had been lost in the woods.  She collapsed into the safety of her mother's hug, aching for the comfort only a mother could give while fighting her desire to sob out her worries, fear and relief.  As a few stray tears made their escape, Chakotay exchanged a pleased look with B'Elanna and Tom.  B'Elanna gave him a teary smile while Tom buried his face in his wife's hair and held her close.  The Admiral turned away briefly, becoming quite intent with his granddaughter's face.

            Knowing how her daughter as she did, Gretchen Janeway spoke up.

            "Well, it's about time you got here.  I was beginning to worry."  She pulled out of the hug and passed a hand through her daughter's now short locks.  "What in heaven's name did you do to your hair?"

            "It was even shorter at one point," Tom piped up taking the fussy baby from his dad.

            "It was easier this way," she replied.  Then she noticed the Admiral.  "Admiral," she started as she stuck out her hand, "thank you for…"

            His eyes were gleaming brightly and he cut her off by pulling her into a hug.  The movement surprised her but she returned the hug warmly.

            "Your father would be so proud, Kathryn," he whispered softly.  Then he released her quickly.  "Tom tells me little Miral Kathryn made quite an arrival.  Have you ever seen a baby so beautiful?"

            Those initial moments were merely a forerunner for the events that followed.  Oddly enough there was very little formality involved in the entire process.  From the time Voyager made first contact with Starfleet in Federation space, the event was treated with a somewhat less than formal air.  There were some days when Kathryn felt she was out for coffee with friends rather than at a formal debriefing.  This isn't to say that all of the debriefings were a tea party, but things went much more smoothly than she expected.  She finally confronted Admiral Paris about the casual attitude and he informed her that Voyager's homecoming has been the highlight of the past few years.  They were still rebuilding and recovering from the Dominion war and could only imagine how those on Voyager felt as the only ship against countless potential hostile forces.  Rather than subject all of them to the rigorous pains of inquiries and such, the Admiralty agreed that Voyager's homecoming should be an exalted event.  Since Voyager was able to send their logs to Headquarters during the past few years they have already been reviewed, debated and settled upon.  Overall, the majority understood the choices made and decided not to pursue any further action than to discuss the events with the crew and leave it at that.

The circumstances of their arrival had caused a bit of a stir, but with the Borg threat seemingly neutralized and no one to hold accountable for the crimes committed in a time line that no longer exists not to mention the useful technology the encounter provided the entire affair was, more or less swept under the proverbial rug.  It was with great relief to all involved that they were here, safe and sound.  This relief gave way to the one formality strictly adhered to – a celebratory homecoming party.  At the end of the two weeks of meeting and debriefings a lavish affair was held in honor of the crew.  The best chefs in three sectors prepared a feast, the best musicians came from all over to play for the Intrepid crew, their friends, family and the A-list guests invited from the quadrant over.

            "Here."

            A glass of champagne appeared in front of Kathryn Janeway.  Looking up she saw the grinning face of her first officer.

            "Thanks.  Enjoying yourself?" she asked.

"More or less.  Are you?"

"I'm taking a break.  I am sick of answering questions about the damn Borg.  Though Jean Luc Picard and I had a great chat about assimilation and the Borg Queen," she said softly.

"I'll bet," Chakotay said wryly as she took a sip.  Her eyes widened in delight. 

"Is this what I think it is?"

            "Fedelaian champagne?  Yes."

            "Isn't this made with the fruit that got Naomi drunk?  How did you get this here?"

            "Yes, it's from the fruit that got Naomi drunk.  When I toured the vineyard I was told that the fruit naturally fermented on the vine.  Unfortunately that wasn't before Naomi got her hands on those berries.  As for how it got here, Mr. Neelix had the good foresight to obtain several bottles and hide them from all of us.  When we were within range of Earth I got a message from him telling me where to find the bottles and to make sure we drank this when we celebrated, to remind us of our adventures."

            "That dear man.  I miss him terribly.  No one could plan a party like he could."

            "Speaking of parties, have you noticed anything odd about this one?" he asked sounding slightly concerned.

            "Could you be referring to the fact that the guests of honor, whom we know to be a raucous group, have suddenly become wall flowers?"

            "That would be what I noticed."

            "How could we not notice?  The conversations I have overheard, Chakotay!  Nicoletti, Lessing, Celes, and Dalby were sharing Prixin stories.  Chapman, Anderson, and Gilmore were having an animated disagreement about a pool game in Sandarine's.  Tom actually told me that he thought tonight's meal was rather bland.  I have to say I agree.  Naomi, Icheb and Jerron were talking about the swimming hole they found on that last planet we visited.  Seven and Tuvok were reminiscing about Neelix and debating how the non-Voyager persons present would react to the culinary delights of the Delta Quadrant.  B'Elanna, Vorik and Chell were discussing the depletion of the power relays on Voyager and how Carey would have found a way to slow that down.  The Delaney girls, Jarvin and Tabor took a survey and informed me that 53% of the crew thinks we should have had our own party in the mess hall, 47% said Sandarine's though Naomi Wildman did ask for the "Forest of Forever" for old times sake, as she put it.  68% agreed we should have, and would have if Neelix were here while the other 32% said we should go do just that right now."

            "Ouch."

            "Yeah."

            "I guess we're all a bit overwhelmed.  Too much of home, too fast.  I really don't feel like we're here yet.  I guess none of us do."

            They sat pondering that for a moment until she asked, "where did you say?"

            "What?"

            "The survey.  I know everyone answered.  Where did you say?"

            He smiled sheepishly, "the mess hall."

            "I said Sandarine's, though I could have gone with Naomi's request with the way I've been feeling."

            "You responded?"

            "Of course.  I told you everyone did."

            "The 68% or the 32%?"

            "Honestly?"  He nodded.  She leaned over and whispered, "the 32%."

            He chuckled.  "Me, too.  All of this was never my cup of tea."  He swallowed the rest of his champagne and looked at his glass thoughtfully.

            "I know that look.  What are you thinking?"

            "I've got an idea.  Come on."

            He dragged her to a group of their crew, where Harry was.  He whispered something in Harry's ear causing the younger man to grin and run off.  Soon the majority of the crew gathered in one place.

            "What are you doing?" Kathryn asked curiously.

            "Just watch."

            The band stopped playing as members of Voyager's crew took the stage.  After a quick whispered discussion, the band members left, turning their instruments over to the new arrivals.  Harry and the Kim-tones took their places as Tom Paris took the microphone.  The crew began whispering and murmuring excitedly.  B'Elanna moved closer to Kathryn and Chakotay and mumbled, "I hope he doesn't make an idiot out of himself."

            "We apologize for the interruption.  Thanks to the band members for letting us steal the stage for a bit.  Weren't they great ladies and gentlemen?"  The crowd applauded in agreement.

            "During our Delta Quadrant expedition we got into the habit of providing our own entertainment.  One of those sources of entertainment is the group behind me.  You'll be hearing from them in a minute.  While they get settled I'd like to do something that hasn't yet been done tonight.  If you'll all take a glass…"

            He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath.  He hadn't planned on saying anymore than an introduction to the Kim-tones.  But then the words tumbled out of his mouth.   He had to say something now and he wanted it to be just right.

           

            "Now that I have your attention, I don't know what to say."

            He heard chuckles from the crowd, picking out a few that he recognized.  'No more jokes, say what you mean,' he thought.  His expression sobered notably.  Kathryn and B'Elanna exchanged a curious look.

            "That's not true.  I know what I want to say.  And this may take a minute because there is a lot to say."  He sighed. "We've been to hell and back countless times while trying to get here and somehow along the way we had fun too.  A lot of us didn't know each other from a hole in the wall in the beginning and some of us who did didn't like each other very much.  We were Starfleet or Maquis or in my case a little of both and neither.  We were young or angry or troubled or inexperienced but we all were very much afraid.  But we learned to trust each other.  We put our doubts aside and worked together.  We picked up Kes, Neelix, Seven, Icheb and the Equinox crew along the way.  We incorporated all of them into our community. 

"Unfortunately, as life would have it, we lost people too.  Neelix chose to leave, live with his people and deprive you all of his inspired cuisine.  And Kes…oh how I wish you could have met Kes…she left to explore life in a way we couldn't.  She was a true Voyager.  Because of her, we got our first boost home.  Hers was but one example of the many sacrifices we all, living, dead, or left behind, made in the effort to get here.  Despite all the hardship we faced we've succeeded both as a crew and as individuals.  We're each more than we were.  Most of you in this room know what I used to be.  Now I'm a husband, a father, a pilot, a friend, an officer…and a son."  He stared intently at his father who nodded proudly.  "We all grew volumes on this trip.  Whatever skeletons were in our closets, reservations we had or fears we kept locked away, all dissolved and we all became better people."

            He paused once more; taking a breath, then began again, "After seven years on a fifteen deck ship you get to know your fellow shipmates pretty well.  So I can tell you what all of them are thinking right now.  As I stand here making this toast to the crew of Voyager one person is carefully reflecting on my words, recalling each moment of our journey.  Meanwhile every other person is thinking about who they were, where they were headed, who they've become and the reason they are who they are today and proud of it.  I say, with great confidence that they are thinking the reason we are who we've become is because of that very person who is reliving our journey in her thoughts and who never stopped believing we'd get here and went above and beyond the call of duty to make it happen.  So, ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to raise your glasses in a toast to the crew of the Intrepid starship Voyager but especially our caretaker, Kathryn Janeway, the reason we are all here tonight."

            The crowded room erupted with applause.  Kathryn stood stock still, mouth slightly open in surprise.  She had not expected Tom's eloquent words not to mention his accurate knowledge of her thoughts.  She looked at her crew who stood around her grinning, shouting 'here, here,' or nodding in agreement with Tom.

 

             "I believe the words he was looking for are, 'in the book that is my memory, on the first page of the chapter that is the day I first met you, appear the words: here begins a new life.'  Sound familiar, Captain?"

            "La Vita Nuova," they whispered together.

            "Your own quotation comes back to haunt you.  Now go, they are calling for you." 

She turned hearing the crowd chanting, "speech, speech."  Unwilling as she was, she set a course for the stage to the delight of those around her.  She took the microphone from a grinning Tom and whispered her thanks to him.  She stood before the crowd contemplating her words unsure of how to address a roomful of hundreds when little more than one hundred of them could truly understand.

            "I promise I won't keep you.  I really want you to hear the talented musicians behind me."  She sighed.  "I have to admit Tom was right…and I hate admitting that Tom is right."  She drew a number of laughs at that, mainly from her crew.  "I was reliving moments of our journey though perhaps not in the way he expected.  I'll admit I initially thought of the hard times but so many other memories drowned them out.   Neelix and Kes volunteering to join us. Hustling Tom at pool."  She winked at him.  "Finding my spirit guide.  The birth of Voyager's first born, who became a first class captain's assistant."  She saw Naomi stand up a little straighter and smile proudly.  "My last conversation with Kes.   Neelix's last gift to us" and she raised her glass.  "Talent nights, Icheb asking to take the Academy entrance exam and everyone volunteering to help him…by the way, Congratulations, Cadet – you start next term." 

She paused waiting for the cheers from her crew to end.  "There was the adventure of eating meals in the mess hall and more importantly the latest coffee creation.  The day we got our first letters from home, the day of our first com link.  Holiday celebrations like Prixin, First Contact, and creating Ancestor's Eve, April 22^nd if anyone is curious.  Birthday parties, quiet dinners, and the away mission we found the most delicious berries and the whole away team, myself included, was purple stained and laughing.  The ingenious holodeck programming and the adventures we had there – where else would you have seen me play Queen Arachnia?  Neelix's ability to find some reason, any reason, to have a party and always knowing when we needed it the most.  Voyager's youngest daughter, little Miral Kathryn Paris' triumphant entrance into the world.  My crew surprising me every day with their ingenuity, creativity and unwavering loyalty.

 

            "What I am trying to say, and I am not sure I am doing it very well, is that I made a choice for all these people and set a course.  They chose to trust me, and each other, and make the most of this journey.  Their enthusiasm and devotion kept me going.  I literally wouldn't be here without them.  We became a family out there.  A mixed and matched motley crew, but the most loyal, dedicated and fun group of people I will ever have the privilege to serve with."

She slowed herself, looking over her crew carefully, emphasizing her words.

"Our lives will be drastically different from the past seven years, but we will adjust, as daunting as it seems at first.  If I have learned anything during these years it is that this crew is capable of absolutely anything when they work together.  So to my marvelous crew; I am proud to be your captain…and your friend."

            The applause rang loudly once again.  Kathryn turned to Tom and whispered, "let's show them how we party on Voyager."

"Yes, ma'am."  He grabbed the mike.

"Ladies and gentlemen!  I now give you a rare musical treat, straight from the Starship Voyager and the Delta Quadrant – Harry and the Kim-tones with the vocal delights of Holodoc and Seven!"

The Voyager musicians began to play and the rest of the crew was infused with a new energy.  They quickly moved to the dance floor, taking over their party.  Kathryn found herself twirled and spun from crewmember to crewmember, a new place for her.  Ordinarily during such functions on the ship her crew had only shyly asked for the occasional dance, something she thought they had done only out of obligation.  Tonight however, she was a popular lady, all of them eager to take her for a spin on the dance floor.  She did wonder if this newfound courage was the joy of being home, a stronger obligation, the alien champagne or actual desire.  As Ayala spun her in Tom's direction she realized she didn't care, again whether it was the joy or the champagne, she didn't know.  Or care.  She was surprised though when she found herself dancing with Tuvok.

"Tuvok!  I thought you didn't dance!"

"I do not.  However, due to the festive nature of this occasion I determined it would be appropriate to make an exception."

 

"Well, you are an excellent partner."

"Thank you, Captain."

The night was much improved once the crew felt more comfortable.  The wallflowers began to own their night to the delight of their captain.  The emotional and chaotic days had taken their toll on the exhausted crew and despite the welcoming attitude of Starfleet, their families, and their friends they had felt out of place.  They all knew on some level that the return after seven long years would be difficult.  The awkward beginning of this night would be the first of many uncomfortable situations.  The days and weeks that followed would prove to be a challenge – yet another transition.  They would need each other now more than ever.

It was these thoughts that brought Kathryn Janeway out into the warm night air.  She strolled the old familiar path and found herself on a bench near the roses she loved so well.  She picked one carefully and breathed in its cent, shivering as a cool breeze brushed her skin.

"I thought I might find you here."

She didn't look up.  "How do always find me at just the right moment?"

Chakotay chuckled softly.  "In the words of Tom Paris 'after seven years on a fifteen deck ship you get to know your fellow shipmates pretty well.'  I think it more than applies here."

"All right, if you know me so well what was I thinking just now?"

"You were thinking about the crew.  How you are so glad the Kim-tones played, they all began to enjoy their own party and that they are still helping one another and how we will need to be there for each other as we adjust to life in the Alpha Quadrant."

She stared at him for a moment and then smirked.  "You're good."

"I try."

There was a long silence before she spoke again.

"Did you hear that Boothby died?"

Chakotay took a deep breath and sighed. "Yeah, I was looking for him this morning and a cadet told me."

"I thought he was going to live forever.  I really wanted to see him when I got back."

"For the roses?" he smiled.

She smiled back, "Only partly.  I know he would have loved to get his hands on the seedlings from our Airponics Bay.  But mostly I wanted to talk him.  He always had a way of putting things in perspective.  What do you think he would have said about…" she waved her hand above her head…"all of this?"

"I imagine something along the lines of, 'young lady what's the problem? Ya got 'em home right?  When they got stuck in that damned quadrant, they adjusted, didn't they?  What makes you think they can't do it again?  Aren't they the same kids that battled everything that hellhole threw at 'em?  That asinine trip turned you into a worrywart, that's what.'  Or something to that effect."

Kathryn laughed out loud.  "That was pretty good.  So…I'm a worrywart now?"

"Well, not exactly, but worrying has become a significant part of your nature."

"Can you blame me?"

"Not really.  I worry too.  We've gotten so used to it that it will be hard to let them go."

"I don't want to lose any of them," she whispered.  He put his arm around her gently.

"I know.  I don't either."  They sat in silence contemplating how different life will be without the crew.

"Seven is coming to Indiana with me at the end of the week," she announced suddenly.  "I promised her long ago that I'd take her there.  She's going to be staying with me at my mother's until she gets her bearings, quite possibly until Icheb finishes at the Academy so he has a home to go to during breaks." 

"I see," he said uncertainly.

"I think I'll be there most of my leave…unless I go to Lake George."

"Sailing?"

"Of course."  She paused, considering her thoughts carefully.  "Would you come up for a sail?"

"I think I could find the time.  Every skipper needs a good first mate."  And then he blushed.  She chuckled softly and looked out over the gardens invoking a memory.

"I did say years ago that I knew where to go if I had any questions about mating behavior."  He looked at her incredulously, not sure she knew what she implied.  She felt his stare on her and smiled slyly giving him a look out of the corner of her eye.  His jaw dropped slightly; he wondered what she meant by it all.  Before he could ask she stood up.

"Come on.  Let's go enjoy our party."

They returned to hear the Doctor and Seven finished their duet of a wonderful 23^rd century ballad, "Passion Nova."  Harry manipulated the final notes of the song to break into a hauntingly beautiful clarinet solo.  His fellow musicians broke away slowly, unfamiliar with the tune he began to play.  Harry himself couldn't explain why he chose to play this piece.  He hadn't played it for anyone, save Tuvok who nodded to him appreciatively.  The concerto was a low, melancholy tune; an interruption to the lively ambiance he and the others had created.  Every note carried a hidden desperation but a minute impression of faith.

 

As the chilling melody separated from the former tune, two dancers took the floor together for the first time that evening.  The piece suited these dancers.  It combined agonizing loneliness and the camaraderie of hope.  The other dancers made room as he twirled her uneasily around once and pulled her close to the gentle, languid tone of the single instrument.  Cautiously and carefully they began to move together.  No one had ever, nor would they ever, see a dance quite like they saw that night.

To quote an old cliché, it was poetry in motion.  The initial stumbling movements became those of a perfected art, neither leading nor following but a practiced and polished rhythm.  A balance of elegance and instinct in which they personified the transition from an uneasy cooperation to a fine-tuned cohesion they had experienced with one another and with their crew.  One had been sent to capture the other but instead fate captured them, bonding them in a friendship rivaled only in Literature.  It is a friendship where when there are no words to say the other will understand.  The slightest shift of position or change in expression speaks volumes over the words spoken.  A bond that, for lack of a better word, is telepathic.  It has its own silent language written in one another's eyes and felt in every touch.

Their eyes were an intense component of their dance; they always had been.  Not once did one remove the other from their line of vision.  It was as if they were staring into one another's soul, becoming one entity, breathing, living and moving within the melody itself.  It is rare to find two people who could move together with such precision, predicting the slightest movement of the other as if it were their own.  But these two dancers were bonded in a timeless pattern of souls craving completion and upon encountering the source of that wholeness they merge, braiding themselves to one another in a bond unbreakable.  The conventions of humanoid order and culture mean little when the power of the soul is at hand.  Those who fear it explain such a concept away as myth, lore, or romantic fantasy but long for the sense of completion such a bond can bring.

These two understand their bond, though the lesson was long in learning.  Early on they had vowed their existence to each other and their crew.  Had they not been the people they were they would have mistaken their friendship for something that it was not and jeopardized all that lay before them.  The discovery that once they stopped fighting what could not exist proved to be the day when balance was restored.  This equilibrium gave way to understanding and the understanding to the instinctual communication.  The dance they shared celebrated their achievement and was performed with the reverence of a prayer, becoming its own song – a song of the tranquility and joy that found its way out of the melancholy tune it began in.

For the first time they allowed themselves to fully embrace the moment and in doing so, lost themselves in their dance.  And as suddenly as the dance began, it ended.  A quick hug and they moved apart, each seeking someone else to converse with, as their dialogue was complete and a wordless commitment made.  People would later recall that night and say there was something electric during that dance that disappeared when it ended.  With the ambiance shattered, the party winded down.  Soon, only a little over one hundred people remained.  Tables were dragged together and coffee was poured.  They sat for hours, laughing, reminiscing, joking and at times crying, remembering all the events that gave them this night.  Promises were made, plans for the future shared, and pledges to get together sworn.  In the wee hours of the morning they finally went their separate ways, knowing they would see one another soon.  Before long, only the two remained, standing once again at the beginning of a journey.  They shyly reached for one another's hands, feeling like strangers but at peace with themselves and one another.  They wound their way through the gardens, not speaking but sharing their thoughts, each knowing full well that the journey never ends; it merely has new beginnings.