Title: Legally Sane 2: Pyschological Trauma

Pairings: Hiei x OC plus Kurama x Botan plus Yusuke x Keiko and some unrequited Kuwabara x Yukina

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH; I do own Lydia and the story ... As well as any other OCs I might create.

Chapter Eight: Road rage, or something like it

"Hiei, do you even know where we're going? You can barely see over my shoulder."

The demon in question didn't bother replying and instead, snorted after tightening his grip around my legs in warning.

I tried again; "Hiei, you're going at like, eighty miles per hour and as I mentioned before, you can't see over my shoulder properly. Perhaps you should slow down before we run someone over."

Again, he refused to answer and instead stepped his ridiculous pace up a notch. The cold wind bit at my face and my body, which already hurt by the way, jarred uncomfortably with his unsteady gait. I managed to peel open an eye to take a gander out our rapidly blurring surroundings and swore.

"TREE! THERE'S A FUCKING TREE! Oh god this is far worse than my car."

And we all know how legendary that hunk of metal was.

The fire apparition side-stepped it at the last moment, snorted again and continued on, blithely ignoring my panicked commentary on every bit of flora and fauna that happened to appear in his path.

It wasn't until he actually stepped on something large that closely resembled a bloody speed-bump that he actually came to a skidding halt a few hundred meters from where we'd encountered it – But only because it had squalled shrilly when he'd trampled over it.

I glanced over Hiei's shoulder, gaped, and then pointed.

"See?! I just knew you'd end up killing some poor soul and I was right! You murdered Kuwabara!"

Hiei turned around slowly and eyed the wreckage he'd left behind with a bland expression.

"That fool's demise was none of my doing," he denied, shifting me higher into his arms. "And if it were, it was his own fault for lying there like a wounded elephant."

Kuwabara chose that moment to look up; face bruised and looking more than a little dazed.

"He's got your boot imprint on his face," I pointed out dryly. "If that's not an indication of who's at fault, I don't know what is."

"Hn. That could have been anyone's boot print."

Clucking my tongue chidingly, I indicated that I wanted to be put down and Hiei obliged after a moment's hesitation, although he didn't seem particularly pleased. I strode on over to where Kuwabara lay prone and nudged his side with my bare toe.

"Oi, Kuwa-chan…You alive down there, buddy, or do I have to inform your next of kin?"

He rolled over with a grunt, popped open an eye and grinned stupidly up at me. I had a feeling his brain might have been affected.

"Oh, Yukina-san! Don't you worry your pretty head over me; I'm just fine!" He paused, reddened significantly and then continued in a more subdued mumble; "A-although the p-p-power of your love could make me f-feel even better!"

Hiei snickered behind me and I cast a baleful glare at him over my shoulder. "What is it with you and breaking people?!" I demanded, turning away to face Kuwabara again when he looped an arm around my ankle. "And would you quit that? I'm not Yukina, I'm Lydia. Say it with me; Lee-dee-ah. C'mon champ, it's not that hard." I attempted to shake him off.

"Oaf, where's the fox and the Detective?" Hiei called out, partially drowning out my curses as I continued to gently retract my leg from the carrot-top's clutches.

Hiei's words seemed to act as a magical Kuwabara-Reflex accelerant because I soon found myself on my ass with the taller boy looming over me; posture defensive and expression ugly.

"You ran me over you bastard!" he shrieked, face red and eyes bulging.

"…You just noticed that now?" I asked, incredulous. "What the fuck is your skull made out of, dude? Rock?"

"Baka."

"What was that, shrimp?" Kuwabara snarled in reply, taking a menacing step forward. I sighed.

"Have you ever breathed out the side of your neck before?" Hiei asked, switching the subject, or so I thought.

"…No, why?"

"If you don't shut up, you'll find out what it's like."

"Why you…!" Kuwabara continued with his menacing steps until he was almost running, only to trip over a foot materialising from behind a sizeable tree.

"Where the fuck did that bastard go? I'm tellin' ya man, he's gonna get his fat-ass eaten by somethin' and I ain't gonna be the one wadin' through stomach fluids to haul him back o-…Dude. Did I just step in something?"

Yusuke paused and blinked owlishly at the two of us as he fully emerged from the copse behind him, an agitated Kurama in tow.

"I wouldn't say you stepped in something as opposed to you actually stepping on someone." I gestured to the once again, prone body of Kuwabara currently beneath the brunette's feet. "That someone being Kuwa-chan."

"Shit, really?" He glanced down and then choked on a snicker before nimbly stepping to the side, a hand rubbing the back of his head as a sheepish smile curled lips. "My bad, my bad!"

Kuwabara sprang up again like a freaking daisy and grabbed the shorter boy by the front of his shirt. "Are you fuckin' blind Urameshi?! You stepped on me!"

"What were ya doin' lyin' on the floor like a beached whale for anyway, huh?! Did you get'cha ass kicked again?" Yusuke eyed the taller boy suspiciously, pure devilment sparkling in his eyes.

"W-what…No fuckin' way!"

"Actually," I chimed in helpfully as I pushed myself to my feet. "Hiei ran him over."

"If the fool had any brains in that large head of his, he would've moved out of my way instinctively," Hiei stated passively, expression bored.

"Oh, so you're actually accepting responsibility now?"

"No. It was the Oaf's responsibility to stay out of my way. He didn't and now has to suffer the consequences."

My shoulders slumped wearily at his logic and I shook my head slowly from side to side.

"I'll never be able to keep up with you."

"Of course not, you're human." He said that like it was the most obvious explanation in the world.

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious."

Huffing softly, I turned my back on Hiei and beamed a smile at Kurama who was busy trying to act as a mediator between Yusuke and Kuwabara's argument whilst also attempting to remove bits of debris from his hair.

"Kurama!" I called out with a little wave, hoping to gain his attention.

He glanced over at me and matched my smile with a relieved one of his own. Shaking his head ruefully when the argument turned into an all-out brawl, he gracefully stepped around them and made his way over to me.

"Lydia, you're looking…" The fox trailed off, taking in my bloodied appearance.

"Like I've been hit by a truck? Yeah, I know. Thanks for noticing." Kurama had the grace to look slightly guilty. "Don't sweat it, it's not like it isn't true."

The sound of scuffling paused and Yusuke strolled over, victorious, after disentangling himself from Kuwabara's dead weight.

"Yo, Lydia; your nose is crooked."

"Oh really? Well so is your fuckin' sexuality. I saw you with lover-boy over there." I pointed in the direction he'd just come from. "And with fox boy with you, my mind can't even begin to think up various scenarios for a threesome."

Yusuke spluttered incoherently and Kurama, although flushed, shot an almost lascivious grin in both the Detective's and Kuwabara's direction, eyes flashing gold briefly.

"Oh, I don't know. I could probably have thought up some interesting positions."

"Dude, that's just not funny!"

"My body is only for Yukina!" Kuwabara added, then yelped when something solid thunked him in the back of his head. "Who the fuck threw a rock at me?"

Hiei had and he looked positively murderous. I cringed inwardly and decided that it was time for a random topic change.

"My, what nice weather we're having!" I gushed lamely, drawing everyone's attention to the sky.

A fork of lightning erupted in all its electrical glory from between a pair of horrendously dark clouds and pierced the trunk of a tree a few feet away from where we stood. I jumped and laughed uneasily when everyone turned to stare at me.

"…What? You don't agree?"

They continued to stare in silence. I huffed softly and turned my back on them.

"Assholes."

Kurama cleared his throat and smiled benignly. "Well, I won't ask for details, so how about we go home?"

Everyone grunted their agreement and before I could even bother to voice mine, I was once again swept up into Hiei's arms. I eyed him questioningly.

"You're not wearing shoes."

No, no I wasn't. I didn't say anything when he started running, even though I worried that Kuwabara might not be able to keep up, toward the assigned pick-up point. My arms wrapped around the fire apparition's neck and I buried my face in his chest. My body still hurt but despite this, his pace was slowly but surely, lulling me to sleep and a few minutes later, my eyes finally closed.

I was going home.

Spirit: Yes, I'm alive! Somewhat. Work and life seem to take up so much of my time these days that I can't seem to find a moment to sit down and write. That and I had an eighteen month writer's block which was a pain in my kidneys. No, not my ass, my kidneys. This chapter was horrendously short and not much really went on except Kuwabara getting stepped on. I hope you're not too disappointed

On a lighter note, this story will be finished - I predict that there'll be another two chapters (as the action was over and done with between chapters 6 and 7) and I'm seriously considering shoving something citrusy (probably a lemon, 'cause I know you're all gagging for one) in the last chapter. If I'm feeling particularly generous, I might add a bonus chapter as an epilogue. Maybe.

I'd also like to thank the reviewers who stuck with me and kept pestering me to update xD I know I'm a bad author for leaving you hanging for so long. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer!

Until next time!