Title: Watchman to my Heart (1/1)

Author: Aerial312

Rating: PG-13

Category: Romance/Drama

Spoiler Info: Santos Administration

Disclaimer: I own nothing…I just borrow.

Feedback: Greatly appreciated. Sure. Just let me know where its going.

A/N: I'm not sure where this one came from. It just came, and wouldn't let me work on "Glimpse…" till it was done.


"Ugh," Josh groaned, rubbing his left shoulder at the neck.

"Your neck?" Donna asked, jogging up beside him.

"Hurts like hell."

"What did you do?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was at the gym yesterday. I was lifting more than usual."

"You've gotta be careful."

"Yeah…ow. I couldn't really sleep last night."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I didn't mean to keep you up. I was trying not to."

"I was in and out."

"My neck is throbbing. It's like a spasm. It's my whole shoulder."

"Anywhere else?"

Josh shook his head, and cringed, "Ow."

"That hurt?"

"I can't turn it past here."

"That's not good."

"I know."

"You should go get it checked out."

"Well, this morning I've got—"

"Always something."

"There really is."

"I know."

"Take some Advil before we leave."

"Yeah."

They walked the last block to the apartment. Once inside, Josh sat on the bed, and closed his eyes as Donna went to grab the ibuprofen.

"Here."

"Thanks."

"You want me to rub it?"

"Couldn't hurt?"

"You sure about that?" Donna asked, playfully as she sat on her knees behind him, and kneaded his left shoulder. Josh hissed in pain.

"I guess I was wrong."

"I'm hurting more than helping, huh?"

"I don't know…ow!"

"I'm hurting." Donna crawled around to look at him. "You look terrible."

"It hurts."

"Josh, it's just your neck and shoulder, right? No pain anywhere else?" she drew her hand across his chest. "No shortness of breath."

"I just beat you on that run."

"Josh."

"It's a pulled muscle. I'm tired because it hurts, and I didn't sleep, but no other…no."

"Okay." She kissed his temple. "If any of that changes—"

"I'll let you know."

"Thank you. Now, I'm gonna take the first shower."


"Josh? Josh?" Sam asked, standing in front of his desk.

"Yeah?" He looked up, dazed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You don't look okay."

"My shoulder hurts." Josh rubbed his shoulder again, and clenched his hand into a fist several times.

"Your arm hurts too?"

"Just feels weird. I pulled something up here yesterday."

"How?"

"I…don't know. Probably at the gym."

"Does the other side hurt?"

"No."

"Josh."

"When did you get your M.D.?"

"Josh…"

The connecting door to the Oval opened, and Matt Santos walked in. "Josh, do you have the file General Harkin gave us this morning?"

"Here."

"Shoulder still bothering you?"

"Yeah."

"Sir," Sam interrupted, "I was just telling Josh—"

"Sam—"

"Continue Sam."

I was just telling Josh that he should get it checked out. It seems to be getting worse. Now his arm hurts too."

"You do look like hell, Josh."

"I couldn't sleep."

"I really think he should get it checked out," Sam declared.

"I'm fine!"

"Josh—"

"I pulled a muscle."

"But you're also drowsy, your left arm hurts…"

"When did everyone become a doctor?"

"It's something that men of our age need to be familiar with the symptoms of," Matt answered.

"We have 3 hours of briefings this afternoon, sir."

"And I can handle those."

"I—"

"Sam, take him."

"I can take myself, if you're forcing me."

"No, you can't."

"Sir," Sam started, "I have meeting at noon with the speaker, do you want me to cancel?"

Matt thought for a moment. "No…Corey!"

The burly, young Secret Service agent stuck his head into Josh's office. "Yes, sir?"

"I want you to take Mr. Lyman to the emergency room."

"Should I call the rescue?"

"No!" Josh bellowed. "I'm going in a car, or I'm not going."

"Car's fine. But he's going. Don't let him talk you down."

"I'll call ahead," Sam announced. "Get him right in."

"Good idea."

"Sir, come with me," Corey told Josh.

"I'm fine."

"Sir, I'll call an ambulance if I have to."

"For God's sake," Josh growled, standing up and wincing at the pain rippling through his left shoulder.

Sitting in the back of his car, Josh swallowed the aspirin Corey had handed him, then dialed Donna's cell. She was going to freak out.

'Hi, you've reached Donna Moss. I'm unavailable at the moment…'

Josh sighed, and waited for the recording to finish.

"Call me when you get this. The President decided I needed to get this checked out. Please don't freak out. I'm fine, just call me."


Donna sat in the passenger seat of Annabeth's car as she drove them back from the meeting.

"So, we were running this morning—"

"Do you run every morning?"

"Pretty much."

"Impressive."

"If we both go, it's not so bad."

"Good motivation."

"Yeah, so this morning his shoulder was bothering him. It kept him up all night. I bet he's beat today."

"What's wrong with it?"

"He thinks he pulled something. He wouldn't go get it checked out though."

"Stubborn."

"Very."

"You think it's worse than a pull?"

"I don't know…it's his left side, so…"

"You didn't force him?"

"You think I should have?"

"I--"

"I should have. I should call him."

Donna fished her phone from her bag. "I have voicemail. Must have come in while we were in that meeting." Donna tapped the Voicemail icon, and pressed it to her ear. "Josh."

"Speak of the devil."

"Oh no—"

"What? Is--?"

"He's going to the hospital---"

"Is it--?"

"The President is making him…"

"Which one? I'll drive you there."

"GW. I should have forced him this morning!" Donna sighed, hitting the Call Back icon. "No answer. Fuck!"

"If he's in the hospital, he probably can't use—"

"Right. I'll call Sam."

"How did he sound in the message?"

"Annoyed."

"Is that a good sign at least?"

"Sam went straight to voicemail too."

"We'll be there in two seconds."

Donna sat back against the headrest and closed her eyes.

"He's probably fine, Donna. I mean, he called you himself. I wasn't like you got a call."

"Can you drop me right at the entrance?"

"Sure thing."

Annabeth pulled the car up to the door, and let Donna out.

"Do you need me to come in with you?"

"I'll be fine. Go cover the First Lady for the Foodbank Meeting."

"Call if you need anything."

"I will."

Donna walked into the ER, and right up to the desk. "My name is Donna Moss. I'm looking for Josh Lyman."

The nurse glanced down at her clipboard. "Miss, you can take a seat over there."

"But, I—"

"Secret Service brought him in, there's special protocol."

"He's my boyfriend."

"Take a seat, and I'll see—"

"Do you need to see my White House I.D.?" She held it up. "I work at the White House, with Mr. Lyman. I live with him."

"Please take a seata.'

Donna sighed, and pulled out her phone as she flopped angrily in the hard plastic chair she'd been directed to. She contemplated calling the First Lady for a little saw, but decided that was going a little overboard. She tried Josh again. Voicemail. But it didn't go straight there. It rang a few times first. She decided to try emailing him, as the nurse was showing no signs of returning any time soon.


Josh sat on a gurney in the ER, with his dress shirt open, and several leeds stuck to his chest. They'd drawn blood, and taken an x-ray, before settling him into a curtained off area. On the chair beside the gurney, his phone was ringing. He reached for it.

"Sir, you need to turn that off," the nurse instructed.

"I need to answer it."

"Not in the hospital."

"My girlfriend must be worrying—"

"Sir—"

"She's supposed to call me back. I left her a message telling her I was coming here. I need to ans—"

"Sir," she snatched the phone out of Josh's hand. "I need to put your oxygen tube back on because your O2 sats are low—"

"Give my phone back!"

"I need—"

"You're not touching me until—"

"Mr. Lyman, please relax."

"How can I relax when—?"

"I know this can be scary—"

"It's not scary! It's just annoying."

"Sir—"

"I need to make a phone call—"

"Sir, if I get you a telephone, will you cooperate?"

"I just need to make sure she's not worrying, then fine…"

"I'll see what I can do. Put this on."

She placed the tube back to his nose.

"Can I please have my Blackberry back? I won't make a call, I promise."

The nurse looked down at the phone and tossed it to him. Josh scowled as she walked away. The phone buzzed the arrival of an email. He clicked a few buttons, and opened it.

'Josh—They won't let me back there. Nurse says Secret Service protocol…bullshit. Please call me back. –D'

Josh quickly keyed in 'Can't make call back here. I'll get you back. I'm fine.'

He tossed the phone in his backpack and sat up straight, rubbing his shoulder.

A doctor approached. "Mr. Lyman, how are you feeling?"

"I'll be better when your nurses got their act together and let my girlfriend back here!"

"Your blood work looks good. X-ray's okay. Your EKG looks good. So the good news is that I don't think it's a heart attack."

"I know!"

"Sir, I am concerned about your O2 sats and your blood pressure."

"I need to get my girlfriend back here."

"Sir, because the Secret Service brought you in—"

"Corey!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Go get Donna from the lobby."

"Sir, I'm not allowed to leave you back here alone."

"Fine, I'll do it myself!" Josh tore the oxygen tube off, and began to pick at the first lead he could find."

"Sir!" the doctor interjected. "You sit down. The nurse here will go get your girlfriend. What is her name?"

"Donna Moss."

"Now, while you wait—"

Josh turned away, crossing his arms over his chest. Wincing, he rubbed his neck. "Mr. Lyman, your pain is primarily in your neck?"

"Yes, that's what I've been saying all morning! All anyone hears today is left side and jumps to heart attack."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that's not that case—"

"No kidding."

"I'm gonna take a look at the x-ray again." He walked away, encountering Donna in the hallway.

Josh watched as the doctor shook his head at her, and Donna stormed away.

"Donna!"

She turned to face him, and took a deep breath before running over. She stood hesitantly beside him. Her eyes were watery.

"What just happened over there?"

"That fucking asshole…" She shook her head, looking down at the floor.

Josh scooted over to the side of the bed, and threw his arms around her. "What did he do?"

"I asked him how you were doing…" She bit her lip.

Josh pulled her closer, and rubbed her back with his right hand. "I'm fine, Donna. Donna, I'm fine."

"Are you really?"

"It's not a heart attack."

"Definitely?"

"Definitely."

Donna took a deep breath. "Your blood pressure's high, and your sat—"

"I've been agitated. I'll settle down."

"Sit back."

"I want to hold you—"

"Sit back."

Josh did as he was told.

"Deep breath."

"I—"

"You're gonna do some relaxing breathing for me. In…"

Josh complied as Donna led him through several repetitions.

"There. Now sit still till that—till the doctor comes back."

"Will you sit with me?"

"I'll sit here on the edge and hold your hand."

"You always used to."

"Josh, this gurney is about half as wide as those beds. My hand will have to do."

She squeezed his hand, and gently stroked his forehead.

"This sucks."

She chuckled.

"Not the hand thing—just in general."

"I knew what you meant. How's your shoulder feeling?"

"Still hurts. The aspirin Corey gave me probably helped some—"

"Aspirin? Oh, right."

"First thing I got. In the car. My neck is still spasming though."

Donna ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.

"Mr. Lyman." The doctor approached. "Glad to see you've calmed down."

"My girlfriend does that to me."

"I looked at your x-ray again. It was a chest x-ray, but your neck was just barely in it. I'm going to schedule you for a CT scan, but it looks like you have a herniated disk in your neck."

"What will that mean?" Donna asked.

"We'll know more after the CT, Mr. Lyman, but probably some medication and physical therapy. A nurse will come and get you for the CT in a little while."

He left. Donna glared at his retreating form.

"What's wrong?"

"He's such an asshole."

Josh cocked an eyebrow at her. "What did he say to you earlier?"

"Nothing. He went out of his way to rudely tell me that he couldn't tell me anything because I wasn't family."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"Because didn't want to work you up even more."

"I had just had a fit where I demanded you be brought back here, and he won't tell you—"

"I can understand that. I can—"

"You shouldn't have to."

"But he didn't have to be rude about it. It could have been 'I'm sorry, but I can't…' He didn't have to be a dick."

"Now who's worked up."

"He just made me so mad."

"Come here," Josh pulled on her hand, and she climbed up beside him. Donna curled up into his arms, laying her head against his chest. The moment was quickly interrupted by a nurse coming to take him for his CT scan.

"Come with me."

"Sir—" the nurse began.

"Josh, I'll stay out here. I have a few phone calls to make."

"Yeah?" his voice came out a lot smaller than he'd have liked.

"Josh, you'll be fine, really. You'll be gone 10 minutes. I can't go in the room with you anyways."

"This isn't the one where you go in the itty bitty tube—"

"Nope, it's the other one."

"You've had—"

"Both. Yes."

"Oh…"

"I want to give your mom a call, just in case there was any press—"

"Fuck!"

"Was—"

"I don't know!"

"I'm just gonna give her a call, and tell her you're fine, and tell her you'll give her a call as soon as you're discharged."

Josh sighed. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"I'll be out here when you get back."

Josh nodded, and they pulled his gurney out of the curtained off area.


"So, what's in the goody bag?"

"Dr. Jackass prescribed you some muscle relaxants for today, so you can get some sleep. Some naprosen for the pain—"

"Isn't that what's in Aleeve?"

"There's more of it in the prescription version."

"Did you take that?"

"For the swelling, yeah, after they stopped the narcotics."

"And physical therapy?"

"He wants you to see someone twice a week, starting this Friday."

"Will you…"

"Set up the appointment?"

"Yeah."

"I'll take care of it."

"Thank you."

"Now, you should go call your mom, then you're gonna take your pills, and lay down for some sleep."

"I need to call in—"

"Not today, you don't."

"Donna…"

"It's all under control. I spoke to Sam while you were in your test."

Josh sighed. "Are you…? Nevermind."

"Am I what?"

Josh leaned back against the arm of the couch. "Are you going back to work today?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Annabeth's gonna cover the one meeting left. Tomorrow the kids have off school, so I can probably take that too—"

"I need to go back—"

"We'll see."

"Donna—"

"You need to take care of yourself. It wasn't a heart attack, but you still need to…be careful, Josh."

He grasped her hand in his. "You're gonna take tomorrow too?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"I don't really have a choice, right?"

"Not really."

"Okay, then. I'll give Sam a call later to touchbase."

Donna nodded, and handed him his Blackberry. "Call your mom. I'll go set up that physical therapy session."

"Early."

"Got it."

Josh clicked his mom's entry in his address book, and held the phone to his ear.

"Joshua."

"Mom…you finally got caller ID?"

"I did."

"Welcome to the 21st—"

"Don't sass me."

"Okay."

"How are you feeling?"

"A little sore. I'm okay though. Donna tell you what it is?"

"She did."

"Herniated cervical disk."

"Are you going to need surgery?"

"The doctor doesn't think so. He gave me some meds, and ordered me some physical therapy."

"Which we know you just love."

"Now who's being sassy?"

"At least now Donna will make you go."

"Donna would have always been the one to make me go."

"Very true. How's she doing?"

"She's fine…why, was she upset when she called you?"

"Miffed at this doctor who wouldn't tell her anything."

"That pissed me off."

"He didn't have to be a jerk."

"He should have just told her—"

"I can understand the family—"

"He should have just told her! I don't want her to ever have to go through that again, mom."

"I know."

"She…she is…my family. You and her, you're what I've got."

"I know."

Josh was quiet for a moment.

"So when am I going to get to see you two?"

"It's been really busy—"

"Joshua."

"Yes?"

"You're always really busy."

"I am."

"How about Easter?"

"We don't cele—"

"But the President does. And Donna does. And it falls during Passover."

"Really?"

"This year it does."

"I haven't observed Passover in…" Josh pondered.

"In years, I'm sure."

"If not decades."

"You'll think about it?"

"I'll think—no, we'll make it happen. We'll come down for Easter weekend. That'll get us several days of Passover, right?"

"It will."

"I'm gonna get going, mom. I need too get some sleep."

"You do that, Josh. And stay in touch."

"I will."

"Oh, and Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"I sent you something this afternoon. Should get there tomorrow."

"What is--?"

"You'll see. Open it by yourself."

"Okay…"

"Goodbye, now."

"Bye…"

"You sound confused."

Josh looked up to see Donna standing over him.

"She's being all cryptic about something."

"Yeah?"

"I'll know what she's up to tomorrow."

"Come on. Sleep for you."

"Yeah," Josh rose slowly from the couch, and let Donna lead him into the bedroom. "She wants us to come down for Easter."

"Easter?"

"It's Passover too."

"Sounds fun."

"I told her we would. Is that okay?"

"Yeah…that sounds great. You commited to it?"

Josh nodded, then groaned in pain.

"Okay, pills." She held out a glass of water, and two pills that she'd set out.

"Will you stay with me?"

"Till you fall asleep at least."

"Fair enough."

Josh climbed up on the bed, and lay down. Donna snuggled in beside him.

"Thank you for taking care of me." He kissed her forehead softly.


Josh woke up, groggy, and looked around the room. There were small slivers of light streaming through the cracks between the curtains. He sat up slowly, and padded into the living room.

"Hey, there."

"What time is it?"

" Nine—"

"Oh, that's not bad."

"A.M."

"It's nine in the morning?"

"Yeah."

"I slept for 15 hours?"

Donna nodded, smiling at him, as he flopped on the couch beside him.

"I don't think I've ever slept for 15 hours straight."

"You have."

"I don't think I've ever slept for 15 hours when I haven't been heavily medicated."

"Fair enough. There's coffee, you want some?"

"Sure."

Donna disappeared into the kitchen briefly. Josh was watching her curiously when she returned.

"Did you sleep?"

"I did."

"A significant amount?"

"A total of 8 hours."

"Total of?"

Donna looked down at the cup of coffee on her lap. "Two hour chunks."

"Checking on me?"

"I was."

"But you slept?"

Donna nodded. "I set my phone to buzz every 2 hours. I slept fine in between."

"Okay."

"We're gonna take it easy all day anyways. We should watch a movie. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Groggy."

"But your neck?"

"Not bad."

"You're overdue for a naprosen…I thought sleep was more important last night."

"Thank you."

"You were on the muscle relaxant anyways."

"That stuff really knocked me."

"Oh! You got a package from your mom. UPS came about half an hour ago."

"Yeah?" Josh looked up as Donna tossed a small cardboard box at him."

"Did you know this was coming?"

"Yeah…well, she told me yesterday. She overnighted it, I think."

"What is it?"

"I don't know…" he rose off the couch. "I'm, uh, gonna go open it."

Donna cocked an eyebrow at him.

"She said to open it alone…"

"Okay…"

"I really don't know what it is."

Josh entered the kitchen, and grabbed a knife out of the holder, tearing the packing tape away. He opened the cardboard box and fished through the tissue paper that always accompanied a package from his mother, until he found a smaller blue cardboard box. He took a deep breath, knowing instantly what it was. He pulled up a corner of the box, and peered inside. Atop a fine lace handkerchief was a delicate ring. It was a small pearl, set onto a white gold band. His grandmother's. He closed the box and took a deep breath.

"Josh?" Donna called from the living room. "You all set?"

"Just a second." He stood against the counter, eye closed, with the box clenched in his hand, taking several deep breaths.

"Josh?" He hadn't heard her walk in, but now she was standing right next to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…yeah."

She ran her fingers down his arms to where his hands held the fragile box. "What is it?"

Josh looked up at her, at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry. Maybe it's none of my—"

His gaze shot down to the box, and after a moment he spoke. "Yesterday…with the doctor. The not letting you back. The making you wait and not telling you what was going on…I can't—I never want you to go through that again, Donna."

He paused, and Donna kept her attention focused on him, while he composed his thoughts.

"That whole family thing…it's bullshit. You're the closest thing I've got…and…and…it kills me that they were treating you…."

Donna squeezed his hands. He looked up at her, and pressed the box into her hands.

"Open it," he told her quietly. "Carefully."

Donna held his gaze for a second, before looking down at what she was holding. The box was old. Very old, it seemed. She pulled the top off, and took a deep breath, looking up at Josh.

He swallowed hard, then spoke. "It was my grandmother's. I'd…I'd like very much for you to have it."

"It's gorgeous." She studied it, as his trembling fingers plucked it from the box.

"Marry me."

Donna's eyes shot up to look at him, but he was still looking down at the ring. She raised his chin to look him in the eye. "Really?"

Josh nodded weakly. "It's not a diamond, I know, and we can get you one if you want, but—"

"I like this one."

"Yeah?"

"Of course I will marry you, Josh."

"Yeah?"

"You sound so unsure."

"It's all a little overwhelming."

She smiled, kissing him softly on the lips. "You're doing fine."

He grinned at her. "You really do like that one?"

"Josh, I would be honored to wear your grandmother's ring."

"It's pearl, not a diamond because my grandfather couldn't find what he was looking for during the war. My grandmother never wanted the upgrade."

"It's beautiful."

He slid it onto her finger. "Does it fit?"

Donna examined her hand. "Yeah…"

"You sound surprised."

"I am. Hey, what's it sitting on."

"That's a handkerchief my grandmother made. When she got older, her hands were swollen and she couldn't wear the ring anymore, so she kept it in this box, on the handkerchief."

"Did you ask your mom for this, or—"

"She just sent it. When I talked to her yesterday she said it was on the way."

"You should call her."

"We should call her. You won't wanna miss this."

"No?" Donna laughed.

"Even though she sent this, she's still gonna go crazy."

Donna smiled up at him, and he pulled her into a deep kiss. "Naprosen first."

"Of course," he smiled, trotting into the living room, as she got his pill for him. "Mom will ask if you're taking good care of me, even though she knows the answer."

"I wouldn't want to let her down."

Josh smiled, pulling her into his lap, as he dialed his phone.

"Joshua?" his mother's voice could barely hide the smile.

"Good morning, mom…"


"I shall the effect of this good lesson keep as watchman to my heart."

William Shakespeare

FIN