Title: 50 Things O'Malley Would Never Do

Summary: A list of things that O'Malley refuses to do.

Warnings: Baby killing, puppy kicking, and the ever lasting Pie vs Cake argument. Oh, and light Tex/O'Malley.

Notes: It's in 1st person, and I have a Donut one ready to go... Oh, and if you don't know what Frankenmuth is, it's a town in Michigan that's Christmas all year round. Bah.

50 Things O'Malley Would Never Do

1. Pet kittens.

2. Pet bunnies.

3. Pet puppies.

4. See a puppy and not kick it.

5. Go a day without making Doc brush his teeth then drink orange juice.

6. Utter the word "nonviolent". Ever.

7. Utter the name "Martha Stewart" in front of the pink one.

8. Give Doc a gun.

9. Allow Lopez to fall into anyone else's hands.

10. Eat any of Lopez's cooking.

11. Eat any of Doc's cooking.

12. Allow either to cook.

13. Let Doc decorate the lair.

14. Give Lopez a shovel - he'll bury himself.

15. Make Lopez bunk with the vacuum again.

16. Pay attention to Vic when he talks.

17. Show up on caller ID.

18. Move into a normal house.

19. Move out of Doc's head and into the orange one's.

20. Move out of Doc's head and into the pink one's.

21. Learn Spanish.

22. Hold a baby.

23. Hold a baby and not punch it.

23. Hold a baby and not stuff it in a microwave.

25. Hold a baby and not let it play in a trash bag.

27. Mix up 'pedophile' with 'pacifier'.

28. Not take over the world.

29. Make No-Bake Cookies.

29. Bake cookies.

30. Bake a cake.

31. Bake. Period.

32. Eat cake.

33. Deny pie, as it is the best substance to ever grace the Earth.

34. Eat unburned toast.

35. Stop laughing maniacally.

36. Skip the annual Blood Explosion Extraordinare.

37. Skip the Villain Con coming to Frankenmuth, Michigan.

38. Buy Christmas presents in Frankenmuth.

39. Buy Christmas presents anywhere.

40. Give CPR to anyone for a bullet wound to the head (that's completely ridiculous!).

41. Give CPR to anyone.

42. Receive CPR.

43. Rub aloe vera on someone's neck.

44. Get shot in the head.

45. Get shot.

46. Think about those first days back at training with Allison.

47. Go back to Allison's head.

48. Let Allison come crawling back.

49. Allow anyone but me to kill Alison.

50. Miss Tex... I mean, Allison.