Hey all! I've been really lazy about updating my other fics, hmm should get back to that…but Anyhoo, I wanted to write something quick, funny and fluffy. This is only the first part. I dunno if this should be the first chapter, or if I should do a series of One-shots. Let me know what you think! I just was fishing around for ideas, and I thought, "Ron is an idiot. AHA!" and I pretty much went from there. Nothing much new, follows book 6. Just wanted to put it in a wonky voice. This first installment is pretty short, for me at least, but I hope you like, let me know what you think, it would be appreciated!

-Prongspal

Ron was an idiot.

Everyone acknowledged this. He was a lovable idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. His brothers, particularly the twins, never lost an opportunity to enlighten him on the subject, but alas he never did seem to apprehend the matter.

Hermione knew he was an idiot. She was the smartest girl in the school for God's sake; she knew the second she set eyes on him that he was an idiot. She hadn't missed a beat to subtly notify him of the fact by pointing out his obvious ignorance of the dirt that had decided to settle on the exterior of his nose. She knew the moment she looked into those warm brown eyes and saw a rather smaller spark of intelligence than the average 11-year-old, that he was an idiot.

However, what she had not anticipated, and what she had not in all of her useful knowledge been able to convince herself not to do, was that she fell in love with this idiot of all idiots.

Sure Harry was dumb sometimes. Okay he was dumb a lot, but it was dumb in a gloriously brave way, and he also was the luckiest person she had ever met. Seriously, the boy had escaped Voldemort four times, not to mention multiple detentions or worse for his multiple escapades about the school, and beyond. And at least Harry's idiocy made him look good.

With Ron…well lets just say he'd have half the school on his arm if he bothered to use his brain once in a blue moon. She figured that this was probably a good thing, considering she was jealous enough with one girl on his arm, or down his throat…yuck.

She could barely think about them.

The only person in the school that could give Ron a run for his money in the idiot department was the bimbo that was currently halfway down his esophagus.

She would rue the day he ever set eyes on Lavender Brown, or rather Lavender Brown's erm, buxom chest. Hermione wouldn't have considered her own bosom small…but it did lower her respect for Ron, and the hope that he didn't only care about sex. Apparently she was wrong. Very badly, and greatly wrong, as the horrific sight that met her eyes on the common room sofa seemed to indicate.

She hated being wrong, she REALLY hated being wrong. Hermione Granger was never wrong.

So it was for a while that she tried to desperately convince herself that he was just joking around to make a fool out of Lavender, and there was nothing in it really…he actually wanted her, Hermione…he didn't care about breast size, or relative frizziness of hair or…oh God who was she kidding? Ron Weasley was making out with Lavender Brown on the common room sofa, and from the looks of it, highly enjoying the experience.

That was when she got really angry.

What right did he have to do that to her? She, who had been his best friend since he and Harry had saved her life from the troll, she who had probably saved his life multiple times and in multiple ways simply with the power of her superior intellect, she who believed that the idiot had a brain somewhere deep inside, she who had stuck by him in his best and worst of times, she who had loved him for God knows how long.

How could he go and stick his tongue down that tart's throat without a care in the world?

Just when it seemed that they were getting somewhere, he was suddenly cold, rude, the same old Ron, the Ron that she had gotten to know so well, the Ron that she had to deal with when they had an especially bad row.

She remembered how heartbreaking it was in third year when he had been so foul about his bloody rat, which of course, because in contrast with Harry, Ron's luck was horrific, turned out to be a murdering lunatic that was responsible for the death of Harry's parents and the return of Lord Voldemort.

Who would have thought?

It only could have happened to Ron. Always Ron.

But he had become that mean Ron again, and she couldn't bear it anymore. He never knew how much he had made her cry. And Hermione Granger was not a crying girl. She was practical, realistic, down to earth, logical. She did not cry, any sadness she had could usually be explained away within the confines of her brain. She had always been good at controlling her emotions, but never around Ron.

That was the one subject she had yet to master, Love. And currently, she was failing.

He had baffled her beyond all accounts, and all reason. She had tried over and over to convince herself otherwise, but then he would walk into the room with that doofy lopsided grin that he always wore when he wanted her to do work for him, and she would fall head over heels in love with him all over again.

When she had gone out with Viktor Krum in fourth year so many girls had envied her beyond belief. She was constantly dodging attacks from his fan club, and she enjoyed the make out sessions, if anything they were quite enlightening. But they didn't mean anything.

In fact she had gotten a guilty feeling when it occurred to her that every time she kissed Krum she spent most of the time wondering how much better it would be to kiss Ron, how his lips would feel instead of Viktor's, how his smaller nose wouldn't get in the way as much, how his big clumsy hands could be put to good use… in theory it was wrong to feel that way and carry on kissing Viktor, but that didn't stop her.

No one knew about her little infatuation, not Harry, not Parvati or any of the other 6th year girls, not Luna, not even Ginny, and most certainly not Ron.

It was probably her best-kept secret.

She didn't quite know why she hid it from Ginny, however she had a hankering that Ginny was hiding a little crush from her as well, and Hermione had a good idea who.

She remembered that when Ginny first went out with Michael Corner how she had happily gone on about how she was completely over Harry and her silly childhood crush.

Hermione however, knew better.

She saw how Ginny still looked at him, a look of longing in her eyes that only another girl could understand, Ginny had just gotten better at hiding it, and her increasing popularity made it easier for her to face Harry.

She had a slightly nervous feeling that Ginny knew about her secret too, but she never said a word, never hinted at anything.

When Ron and "Lav-Lav" had started going out…no that's wrong, had started making out, she hadn't said a word, she'd only made herself a little more available than perhaps Dean would have liked, for Hermione's sake.

Ginny was a good friend, she knew when Hermione was upset or stressed out, often far before the two boys noticed a thing.

Hermione wasn't sure if this was Ginny just being her wonderful self, or whether she had just picked an especially dumb pair of friends to spend time with, she figured it was a combination of the two.

But to face the facts, Hermione Granger was in love with Ron Weasley and he was…well he was an idiot.