Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

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CLASS: FIREFLY X - Prelude

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A single white piece of paper was posted on the inside of the front doors of three different residents. How it got there, none of the occupants could guess, especially given the high security systems at two of the places.

The heading on the paper read "Class: Firefly X Cast and Call Backs". Below that, in smaller writing, it said, "A parody of the Joss Whedon masterpiece." Then came a short description of the series before a list of characters and names:

Capt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds - Logan 'Wolverine' or Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau
Zoe Washburne - Wanda 'Scarlet Witch' Maximoff
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne - St. John 'Pyro' Allerdyce
Inara Serra - Ororo 'Storm' Monroe or The Rogue
Jayne Cobb - Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau or Lance 'Avalanche' Alvers
Kaylee Frye - Kitty 'Shadowcat' Pryde
Dr. Simon Tam - Scott 'Cyclops' Summers
River Tam - The Rogue or Jean Grey
Shepherd Book - Professor Charles Xavior

"What is this?" Jean Grey asked.

"A casting list," Rogue stated the obvious.

"But I never auditioned for anything."

"I think it sounds fun," Kitty bubbled.

Scott joined the discussion. "What sounds fun?"

"A parody of 'Firefly'!" Kurt exclaimed. "Vho am I?" He scanned the list, but was disappointed not to see his name. "I'm the only one here vho vatched the show and I'm not on the list!"

"Maybe you'll get some guest spots later," said Kitty the optimist.

Kurt pouted. "I should be Wash. I'd make a great Wash."

"Who's this Inara character, Kurt?" Rogue asked

"She's a companion. Fancy for high-class prostitute."

"What?! How can Ah be on call back for playin' a prostitute? Ah can' touch anyone!"

"It's probably because you'll have so much, like, unresolved sexual tension with Gambit, who's up for Captain Mal," Kitty guessed.

"For the last time, Ah do not have a crush on Remy!"

"That's why it's called unresolved," Kitty replied.

"I didn't know you watched the show too," Kurt said to Kitty.

"Caught it on DVD. I'm so glad I get to play Kaylee."

Jean added her thoughts on the cast. "I better beat out Rogue for River. I mean, Scott and I already have chemistry off-stage, so it wouldn't be hard to play his wife on-stage." Scott blushed while Kurt and Kitty giggled. "What's so funny?" Jean asked.

"River is Simon Tam's crazy psychic little sister, not his wife."

"That's disgusting! I'm not playing Scott's little sister!" Jean exclaimed.

Rogue was laughing with the other two now. "Ah think it's funny."

"Only you would find incest funny." Jean commented.

Meanwhile, on the shadier part of town in a dilapidated mansion, four boys rolled on the floor laughing. "Jean. . .gasp. . . could be . . .gasp . . Scott's sister!"

The laughing did not stop when the Scarlet Witch descended the stairs. She stepped over the laughing carcasses to the door. She looked at the paper posted on the door. "What's this?"

Pietro immediately realized the severity of the situation and tore the paper off the door before Wanda got to the cast list. "Nothing. Nothing at all, dearest sister. Why would you think it was anything? Because it's nothing. Absolutely - " Pietro was hexed into the closet while the paper floated to the floor.

The other Brotherhood boys grew silent at Wanda read the cast list. "I'm playing Zoe. Who's she?"

Toad hopped up close and personal to tell her about the character. "She's a hot warrior woman who kicks ass, but doesn't bother to take names."

"She has the same last name as this Hoban character one of my father's minions is playing. What does that mean?"

Toad snatched the list from her. "I'm sure its a mistake, poopsie. It should be my role."

Wanda looked at Lance to give her a straight answer. "Husband and wife."

Her sapphire eyes narrowed. "Someone will have a slow and painful death because of this."

"At least you aren't cast as the whore like Rogue or Storm," Fred pointed out.

"Storm's a little too classy to be a prostitute."

"But she's a high class whore. Very dignified and graceful."

"Whoever made this up must have been on some sort of medication."

Lance nodded in agreement. "No kidding. I might have to play Jayne. A dumb, horny tracker guy who names all fifty of his guns." The others did not make eye contact.

Pietro crawled out of the closet. "Two out of three isn't a bad match, Lance. I'm just disappointed that there isn't a character of my caliber in the series. But maybe that's for the best. I'd hate to outshine anyone and steal the spotlight."

His sister attacked his ego. "The only way you'd get the spotlight is if you literally stole it."

"At least I don't have to play kissy face with a psychotic Aussie, who talks to his vegemite sandwiches."

"You can't fool me, dear brother. I know you wish you had my role so you could."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"For de last time, John, I don't know who is running dis Firefly t'ing!" Remy shouted back.

"But you know everyone!"

"Why do you want to know who's puttin' on dis crazy t'ing anyway?"

"I want to send them a fruit basket for giving me the best character!" John made a face as he reread the casting. "Although I'm not sure if I should be happy they cast a beautiful woman as my wife or be freighted because she knocked me off a bridge."

"But you two have so much in common. You're both considered crazy and spent your childhood in an institution."

"Two completely different kinds of crazy. Mine is more random and psychotic while she likes to hurt things. Like puppies. I would never intentionally hurt a puppy."

"I still don't know which role I'd rather get: Mal or Jayne. Jayne: the sexy tracker, who gets the girls or Mal: who runs the show with slight of hand."

"You only want to be Mal because you'll get to wear the tight pants."

"Do you really think Wolverine can pull off Captain Tight Pants better than I can?"

John leaned over and looked at Remy's behind. "The pants part, no. But Wolverine has more of the humor down and Captain Tight Pants doesn't flirt as much as you do. But that is not the question you should be asking yourself. The question is: Do you want to laugh with me or at yourself? See, if you're Jayne, then you'll be the butt of most of my jokes. But if your Mal, we'll make fun of him together."

Remy stroked his chin in thought. "Good point. Guess we'll have to wait and see."

Back at Xavier's Institute, Ororo Monroe strolled into the kitchen where Logan sat reading a newspaper and drinking coffee. She sat down across from her fellow instructor. "What has gotten into the children this morning? I approach them and they stop talking, turn red, and run off."

Logan turned the page. "I teach the kids how to fight. If you want a psyche evaluation, ask Chuck."

Storm sighed and looked toward the door where Jubilee peaked in and giggled. "I suppose you are right."

While her head was turned, Logan glanced at the African goddess over the top of his newspaper and chuckled.

Storm snapped her head and narrowed her eyes. "You do know what's causing this behavior."

Logan raised his paper to hide his smirk. "I have my suspicions."

Storm pulled down the newsprint. "Logan . . . "

"You got somethin' to say, 'ro?"

Storm played his game to get the information. "Logan, why do you think the students are embarrassed when they see me?"

"They saw the call back list and saw you were up to play a dignified hooker."

"Excuse me?"

"Some nut put up a casting list for a parody of some show called Firefly. You or Rogue are going to play Inara, a 'companion.'"

Ororo stood up, throwing her chair back. "I've never been so - "

"Cool it. We probably won't get the final cut. Too many people like to see the Cajun hit on Rogue. Too many people to gut, unfortunately."

"We?"

"I'm up for Captain Mal."

"And you're okay with this."

"Like I said. Probably won't happen. Kurt said I have more of a fatherly dynamic with Kitty and Rogue, so that's why I'm in the running."

"Did he say why I could play a 'companion'?"

Logan put his paper in front of his face. "Yes."

Storm tapped her fingers on the table. "Well?"

"Ask him yourself. I'm no messenger boy."

Ororo knew she would get no further with Logan, so she stormed out of the room to confront a student with an explaination.

A/N: Voting for the casting of Mal, Inara, Jayne, and River is closed! Stay tuned to find out who won (or tally the reviews if you can't wait).

Now I'll be writing this while working on Nine to Five series as kind of a break piece. I need to to a few things at a time so that I don't get stagnant and work on nothing because I'm stuck. As all of my pieces, don't expect regular updates. I just needed something fun and easy to work on.