Title: Switched
Author: Ultra-Geek
Rating: T for Logan's language
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summery: Cuffs sequel When the cuffs came off, Scott and Logan thought it was over. But as they still can't get along, Xavier forces them to spend a week in each other's bodies. And here's the catch: If they tell anyone, then it's longer for them to spend switched.
Timeline: After X3, everyone's alive
AN: It's the unofficially official sequel to Cuffs! Now, you don't need to have read that to understand this, but please note that: 1.) There will be references to it and 2.) It's my best humor work yet, so you should read it. Anyways, I hope that this lives up to Cuffs, but don't hold your breath, I don't want any potential reviewer suffocating!

Chapter One: So It Begins…

Charles Xavier rubbed his temples. He just couldn't shake this headache. And the most pitiful part of it was that it wasn't caused by any students. Jubilation Lee wasn't parading back and forth outside of his office, demanding a spot on the X-men team. At least, she wasn't at the moment. One of the newer students wasn't putting up invisible barriers in the halls, or on the toilet seats, as he'd taken a liking too. There wasn't even some sort of mutant problem abroad. No. This mutant problem was taking place right inside his school.

Well, in all technicalities it was two mutant problems. And their names were Scott Summers and Logan.

Charles shook his head. Yes, Logan had caused the stairs to cave in underneath Scott. But other than a faintly bewildered Storm, there was no proof. Scott, conceivably, had retaliated by filling Logan's sock drawer with cooked rice. But there was no proof. There was only one way to say it.

It was war.

Again.

But this time, they weren't out in the open about it. No, there were no exploding muffins or espionage involving students. Charles knew it was them, Jean knew it was them, Storm knew, basically, everyone knew, but there was no proof. Charles couldn't very well put a stop to something that, quote on quote, 'wasn't happening'. He banged his head down on the desk. It was like having a personal Mafia disaster.

And then it hit him.

No, the morally right ethical part of his mind whispered. I can't do that.

But then the other part, the half that tended to make idiotic mistakes from time to time, prodded But it would be very educational…not to mention entertaining…

Don't listen! DO NOT LISTEN! It's against your ethical code!

No, you know it's them. Who else could it possibly be?

Shut up, you!

You.

Good Lord, Charles thought. I'm going insane. And he knew that he would, if something, or someone, didn't take matters into their own hands. Or mind, as it were. Besides, he reasoned with himself, we could all use a laugh…

And five minutes later, both Scott and Logan were sitting in front of Xavier's desk. Both were experiencing a serious Déjà vu. Logan looked sideways at Scott. "I got a bad feeling about this, Scooter."

"You have a 'bad feeling' about everything, Logan."

"Yeah, and I'm usually right."

"Name three times."

"Liberty Island, soldiers attacking the school, the dam exploding, the last time we got sent here…"

"That was four, my mathematically challenged friend, "

"So? It still proves my point."

"Will you two just stop arguing for five minutes so I can tell you why you are here?!" Charles snapped.

"Sure, Chuck. All you had to do was ask."

Charles felt another headache coming on. "I'm sure you've both noticed the recent rampage of childish pranks,"

The two men both adopted innocent looks that resembled that of a bank robber denying ever committing the crime. "Kids will be kids, Charles." Scott said dryly.

"And there are a lot of kids here, Chuck," Logan commented.

"And yet," Charles continued, "All of these pranks seem to be focused on you two. First on one, then on the other, then on one, then on the other…do you see the pattern?"

"They prank me because I'm a teacher," Scott said, with the air of one reciting a practiced speech. "They prank Logan because he's an ass. Kids have radar for that sort of thing."

Logan looked like he was about to retaliate, but instead said, "He's right, you know."

"And that's what you both think?" Charles looked from one to the other. Scott had suddenly found the knuckles on his left hand extremely fascinating while Logan was attempting, and failing, to swat a fly that was buzzing around his head.

"Yep,"

"Pretty much,"

"Well," Charles said. "Do you want to know what I think?"

Logan leaned back and lit a cigar. "What the hell? I've got an hour to kill." Scott merely shrugged.

"I think that it's you two."

Logan took on an expression of one who had just suffered an ultimate betrayal. "That hurts, Chuck that really hurts." The expression disappeared. "Besides, you have no proof."

Charles arched an eyebrow. "Actually, I do," He pulled an empty rice bag from his pocket. "I found this in the garbage."

"That's your proof?" Scott asked incredulously. "It's a school, you know. There are a lot of kids here. Any of them could've eaten that rice, and then thrown it away."

"In Logan's sock drawer?"

"My money's on Jubilee." Logan commented, finally managing to kill the fly.

"And Logan," Charles turned on him. "Storm saw you running away, carrying a couple of 2x4's, a hammer, and some nails. Not a second later, the stairs caved in under Scott. How do you explain that?"

"She was clearly hallucinating. I wasn't near her room then."

"Now Logan, I don't remember mentioning where she saw you." Charles felt a sort of glee at the stricken looks on both men's faces.

"It was his entire fault!" Scott pointed at Logan. "I was just…defending myself! Don't make us wear the 'cuffs again, please!"

Logan looked over at Scott. "Thanks, Scott. Your loyalty is touching."

"No problem,"

"I'm not going to put you back into the handcuffs." Charles answered. "That, apparently, didn't work. And so now, I have come up with a much more suitable punishment."

Logan and Scott blinked. When Logan opened his eyes, everything was red and black. He heard a gasp from Scott. Then, it occurred to him that the view point of Xavier's desk had changed. He looked over to where Scott was sitting; only it wasn't Scott.

It was him.

"Holy shit!" He swore. Upon hearing not his voice, but Scott's swear, he swore again. "Holy shit!" He put his hand up to where his sideburns were supposed to be, only to find his face rather sideburnless. His hand hit a pair of glasses. He made to take them off, only to be stopped by Xavier.

"I wouldn't do that, Logan, unless you want to blow us all to pieces." He turned to Scott, or Logan, or Scott in Logan's body. "And Scott, you can open your eyes."

Scott slowly opened one of his eyes. "What the hell did you do, Charles?" He demanded, after nearly falling out of his chair at the sight of himself, or Logan, or Logan in his body.

"Since you two can't seem to get along, you will have to live in each other's lives for a week. If anyone outside the three of us finds out about this, then it's extra time until you get put back. Are we clear?" Charles looked from one to the other.

"You…" Logan started, his trademark growl not coming out as threatening seeing as he had Scott's voice. He paused, unable to find a decent insult in his vast vocabulary.

"Now, Storm and I are going away for this week, so it will only be you two and Jean." Charles began to roll out. "If I found out that one of you has told someone of this, then you will spend more time switched. Have a nice week," And he left, leaving Scott and Logan in their personal versions of hell.