At the Pleasure of the President
It was well after 12 pm, it was indeed closer to dawn than to midnight, but Donna was still sitting in her office. She looked out of the window, not seeing what was outside but what was inside her head. And she saw Josh. She missed him terribly and she didn't know when he would be back from his mission. President Santos met with UN representatives in Vienna last week but he had to come back, they were trying to win the elections after all. When he returned he asked Josh to go back to Vienna in his place.
The President and Josh usually didn't fly on the same plane and didn't attend the same overseas meetings. When Josh explained the why, Donna had to make a dash for the bathroom. Now, it all made sense why during President Bartlet's administration it was always Josh who accompanied the President and not Leo. Somehow, in the back of her mind, Donna knew that but they never discussed it before and for once she wished she had been left in oblivion.
When the President had to come back without an agreement he sent Josh as his delegate. Donna didn't understand why Josh needed to be there; after all they had a very capable Secretary of State not to speak of the US ambassador to the United Nations. But she didn't question President Santos' decision, it was his decision to make and he must have had his reasons and was under no obligation to share them with Donna.
So Donna was alone and she was exhausted. She barely slept in the last four days, since Josh went away. The President just arrived back from the latest campaign stop in Georgia. The First Lady continued her way to South Carolina to attend some event there. Donna didn't accompany her to Georgia and South Carolina but it was decided that she would meet her later in North Carolina. Donna was needed in D.C., there was a crucial vote scheduled on the Hill, and Donna stayed behind to phone and meet House Representatives in order to convince them to support the Children with Learning Disabilities Bill. A pet project of the First Lady. As she was sitting there in the dark, Donna wondered briefly where the last three years had gone but she knew that she was just overwhelmed by the loneliness. She had the best three years in her life. She had been excited about working for the First Lady and about being part of a new administration and most of all about being together with Josh. And she felt like her dreams came true. Of course, she knew that this kind of thoughts invited the moment when the wheels fell off the wagon. But she didn't like to think about that.
Musing over the last three years, she remembered how frustrated she had grown with her job in the first few months of the new administration. Helen Santos was not Abbey Bartlet; so much was clear from the first moment on. But Donna had hoped that once settled in, Mrs. Santos would take a more active role in the administration, after all she had hired a Chief of Staff and not a secretary or a social events coordinator. Annabeth had told her several times that Helen needed to adjust to the new situation but after the second month Donna was ready to quit and beg Josh for any kind of job he could offer. She had been so frustrated that she had yelled at Annabeth in one of their staff meetings. And for the first time in two months, Helen Santos had picked that moment to wander in on the meeting. Donna remembered how deeply ashamed she felt, and how she told Helen that she would tender her resignation first thing in the morning. She remembered the look on Helen's face, how taken aback she was and how she asked Donna why she would do that. Then and there, Donna had decided to take a stab at honesty and she had been rewarded with a smile and an apology. Donna remembered the mortification she felt after the First Lady's apology, but they quickly got over the awkward moment and found their former rapport soon.
Since then they had an active role in the administration. Donna clearly remembered her first meeting in official capacity. Of course she had meetings before but those were about ceremonial stuff and she usually went with Annabeth and left the working out the details part to the perky Press Secretary. Her first important meeting came four months after President Santos' Inauguration, and for some kind of twist of fate she had to meet with Amy. Of course she knew that they had to meet, Amy was Director of Legislative Affairs, but she would have preferred to go through Sam. Sam was Amy's boss after all.
She had been so nervous the night before the meeting with Amy that she almost literally kicked Josh out of his apartment. He went without much complaining, and after calming down a bit Donna realized for the first time since Election Day that Josh really loved her. Oh, she hoped, and Josh told her several times, but she was so unsure about their relationship that she thought he might have said it just be polite, just to return Donna's confessions. She also realized that she had to express her gratitude properly. Which she did after the successful meeting with Amy. The memories were still fresh and still made her blush. Of course Amy was long history by now (and Donna only hoped that she could say that for the last time in almost a decade). But Donna prevailed and she was still pushing the agenda of the First Lady and she was still liaising with the Directors of Legislative Affairs. In fact, with several of them during the last three years. They just kept coming and going. It seemed to be like someone cursed the position; Donna often wondered whether Amy really was the Wicked Witch Helen claimed her to be.
So there she sat, thinking of Josh. She missed him to a point where it became hard to think of going home to the empty house. Donna knew that she eventually had to, if not for anything else but to change clothes. She didn't quite understand why she missed Josh so much; they had been apart for weeks before. Although those times she always knew when to expect him back. She guessed she was just exhausted. She was never the one to wallow in self-pity but for the first time in three years she just couldn't feel the strength to put on a mask, making everyone else believe that she was okay with Josh' absence. Oh, she accepted Josh' job like no one else would have. Every one of their friends had commented on that, expressing their admiration towards Donna. She didn't understand why it was such a big deal. She loved Josh. She knew what the job entailed. End of story.
Of course she knew the story of Leo's marriage, their friends never ceased to make the comparison. She just couldn't understand them. Josh was not Leo, and she wasn't Jenny O'Brien. She knew and was sure that Josh would make an effort not to commit the same mistakes as Leo, so she made an effort too, she tried not to be clingy or needy or anything like that. She let him know that she was there for him whenever he wanted an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on. And Josh accepted it with appreciation. They grew closer in these three years, they understood each other on a level they never did in the first nine years of their relationship. They were tuned to each other as Josh often claimed, much to the delight of Donna.
Yes, there were times, before they became a pair, when Donna was tuned to Josh, but Josh wasn't tuned to Donna. She always noticed his moods and appraised his needs, and truth be told he also had his moments when it came to Donna's moods and needs. Just not at the same level as Donna. But three years into the Santos administration they know what every movement, frown, expression, posture or gesture meant. In short, they were tuned to each other. So much so that they made Sam freak out when he witnessed one of their conversations in Josh' office. He told them that they were freaking him out in the past while the three of them worked in the West Wing of the Bartlet White House, but that by now they had reached new and uncharted levels of freakiness.
Donna turned around in her chair and faced the door, she thought she heard something. She always waited for him to appear, even when she knew that he wasn't in the White House. She (and her secretary) grew accustomed to Josh's sudden appearances. He showed up without notice but Donna didn't mind. She told Julie to let him in if she didn't have any visitors. They even developed a ritual. Josh appeared in the door, complaining how her office was bigger than his, and Donna would counter that by saying that it was so because she was a more important person than Josh. Josh would agree, saunter in and kiss her like he hadn't seen her in days. Which was sadly true on one or two occasions. Right now, she would have given everything for one of those kisses.
Suddenly her door flew open, and her Secret Service agent stormed in. Donna quickly registered that his gun was drawn and that he had a harried look on his face. Before he said anything, Donna jumped up, donned her jacket and was ready to leave. There must have been another security breach; they already had a lockdown around noon. She wondered briefly what happened before Steve told her that she had to leave immediately. She didn't know where they would take her, but when they headed downstairs she realized that she was on her way to the Presidential Emergency Operations Center. Also known as The Bunker.
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