Title: Triangle (1/1)

Summary: That whole Zack/Max/Logan triangle? It isn't a problem anymore. . . although that has created all sorts of new difficulties.

Rating: R

Warning: This is SILLYFIC/BADFIC--humour of the absurd and possibly offensive type. It isn't to be taken seriously at all. There is some non-explicit discussion of m/m, f/f and m/f/m situations.

Disclaimer: Cameron & Eglee, may they forgive me for my sins.

Date: June 2, 3, 2001.

* * *

"Stop!" Max shrieked, stepping between the two most important men in her life. "The both of you, just stop it." She snivelled piteously, delicately dabbing at her runny nose. "I love you both."

"What kind of love?" Zack asked suspiciously.

Max looked between Logan and Zack. "You know," she said, arching a meaningful eyebrow.

"Oh," Logan said in dawning comprehension. "Him?"

"Him. You. I don't know what to do!" Max wailed.

The three of them fell into a thoughtful silence. "You know. . ." Zack ventured, "you don't necessarily have to choose." Not when she'd chosen Logan over him so many times before, at least.

"You mean. . ." Max drew out.

"She could date both of us?" Logan completed.

Max nibbled at her lower lip, Logan and Zack both staring with unconcealed fascination as her teeth worked at the lip in question. She loved them both--and hey, she had the stamina. "I guess that could work." She paused. "Do we make out a schedule or something?"

"Wait, wait," Zack said suddenly. "That means you're getting twice the action that either of us are."

They mulled over the problem. "You could sleep with other people, too," Max said unhappily.

Zack shook his head. "He doesn't have anyone else. If I were to screw around and he didn't, I'd seem like a bad guy."

Logan sniffed. "I could get another woman into my bed."

Max turned teary eyes towards him. "You want another woman?" she whimpered.

Logan's eyes went wide and he held out his hands defensively. "No, that isn't what I meant, Max!" He glared at Zack who was smirking behind Max's back.

"We could, you know. . . all of us," Max suggested delicately.

"With him?" Zack growled.

"With him?" Logan gaped.

"With me," Max stressed.

Zack looked at Max and sighed. "I guess he isn't bad. . . for a self-righteous weakling."

Logan looked at Max and sighed. "He isn't unbearable. . . for an arrogant bully."

Max nodded decisively. "All right then. That's settled." She looked back and forth between the two men. They were so adorable with all their male posturing that she could nearly cry.

"You ever. . ." Zack trailed off in what he hoped was an appropriately suggestive manner. They never had gotten around to sex-talk in their otherwise thorough Manticore education. It had worked for Max, so Zack arched his eyebrow, too.

The eyebrow evidently worked because Logan flushed slightly. "Bling was curious," he said shortly.

"Bling?" Max gasped. "You cheated on me?"

"Hey, it was while our relationship wasn't like that," Logan protested. "Zack?"

The X5 shrugged. "I always get worked up after a fight. Krit was there. . . He looks an awful lot like you now that I think about it, Maxie."

"This conversation isn't making me like either of you very much," Max huffed. She paused, her eyes brightening. "Maybe I should call Original Cindy--"

"You and Cindy?!"

"Well, no--but I'm the only one here who hasn't been previously involved in a same-sex relationship," Max answered.

"But Original Cindy is a lesbian," Logan protested.

Max's eyebrow hiked up her forehead. "Strange concern coming from a guy who has agreed to sleep with another guy."

"That's different," Logan said, while Zack nodded in agreement.

"Agreed. Neither of us are gay."

Logan nodded in his turn. "We're just doing this so that we both get to have sex with you."

"But what about--" Max began.

"All in the past," Zack stated firmly. "Unless you want me to call Jondy." He paused before smiling. "She's hot," he said in an aside to Logan.

"I'm not going to have sex with a woman I've never met before," Logan responded. He kept the thought that he hadn't been much impressed with Max's family thus far to himself.

Max pouted. "What about Kendra--she's adventurous."

"Maybe we should figure out the logistics between us before we throw another person into the mix," Logan suggested.

"Now?"

"We're all here. I don't have anything else to do. You?"

"No."

"No."

"Let's move this party to the bedroom, then."

They filed into the master bedroom. "The bed looks a bit small," Max noted critically.

"It'll do," Zack shrugged. He rubbed his hands together briskly. "So, who gets first shot at Max?" he asked.

Max glared at Zack. "First shot?" she echoed with an insulted sniff. "I don't think I like this plan anymore," she pouted.

"Max--"

"Maxie--"

She waved off their protests. "Just shut up and strip," she ordered, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed dangerously. Max was delighted to note that even Zack didn't quibble with her taking command. Nice, she noted, very nice.

Zack and Logan both neatly folded their clothes, glaring at each other when they noted their similar actions. 'Not bad' both men thought of the other, and proceeded to glare and snarl at each other even more. They heard a squeal and both men whipped their heads towards Max who had stripped during their snarling and growling. She had flung herself onto the bed, bouncing.

"C'mon Logan, big brother," Max called out.

Logan winced. "Could you please not call him 'big brother'?"

"We aren't actually related," Zack said--yes, Max was hot, but he wasn't sick.

"I know, I know, but that isn't anything I ever wanted to hear a woman calling out in my bed," Logan answered. X5s may have been incredible looking with amazing talents, but they certainly did have some highly twisted relationships.

The next few hours could roughly be summarized as such: thrust, groan, "Oh God!," suck, bite, nip, "watch where you're putting that thing!," caress, pinch, "hey, I want to be on top!", kiss, "Damn it!" wail, "I told you the bed was too small," shudder, suck, moan, thrustthrustthrust, scream, scratch, shudder, lick, swallow, whimper, scream, thrustthrustthrust, collapse, "oh, _yeah_."

"This was a very nifty idea," Max smiled sunnily the next morning, stretching luxuriously. (Logan and Zack had both discovered that Max was a bed-hog--she had kicked them both to the floor during the night.)

"Nifty?"

"That's one way of putting it."

end