Ok, well, haven't written in a while. I recently became obsessed with Kingdom Hearts. This is my first shot at KH fan fiction, so be nice – no flames. Pairings: AkuRoku, DemZex. Whilst still in the organization, so bear that in mind. It's rather angst-filled, rather frustrating, and very much the cuteness. enjoy!

(Hint: the title used in conjunction with each chapter title creates a phrase)

Disclaimer: me : kingdom hearts England : tea. Love it but don't own it.

Can You Feel

Chapter I: Every Little Thing

"Hey, Axel." No reply. "Heeeeeeeey, Axel." Still nothing. "Hey Axel, hey Axel, hey axel, hey Axel-"

Quicker than Demyx could jump back, a fiery fist was wrapped around his neck tightly enough to stop any sound. For all his musical talent, Demyx had very little common sense, especially when interacting with other Organization members. He blamed it on the fact that his favorite thing to do was bother people while they are thinking. Before the musician had wandered in, Axel had been sitting on the couch, focusing on the black hole in the wall of the living room, mind leisurely wandering over the familiar ground of an innocent, youthful face...

"Don't DO that." Axel muttered, throwing Demyx's head back. The musician's grin wasn't phased.

It had been weird like that, Demyx thought. Usually Axel was all about pranks and merriment and other stuff – that's why he was fun! But lately, Axel hadn't been very happy, except around Roxas, and even then it was a forced and fake type of happy. "What're you doing in the living room? Or, by the way you were zoning out, the not-among-the-living room." All Demyx wanted was a smile.

"Funny, I was thinking." No, more like dreaming, but Axel knew one couldn't dream without a heart, so he left it at thinking. "Something you wouldn't be too familiar with." Finally, they were both grinning. Demyx felt relieved. That was how they were – sarcastic friends. It still surprised him how Axel and he ended up friends, but honestly, it was a good match. Axel was fiery and passionate, devious and darkly humorous. Demyx was musical and laid-back, jovial and a bit of a wise ass sometimes. Fire and water, similar and different, and they both had an insatiable appetite for dangerous plots and general mischief. No wonder they had started out hating each other. "What're you doing?"

The Musical Nocturne flopped onto the couch with a sigh in e-minor. "You know, the usual, making faces at Xaldin's back, mixing Marluxia's hair products, wondering why you've been so out of it recently… Hello?"

For some reason, though Axel was leaning back and acting fleetingly bored, his green eyes were serious and tragic, drawing Demyx into his words. "How is it possible we still feel emotions if we don't have hearts?"

The question, which was more of a statement, caught Demyx by surprise. Axel had always been the one who was the most comfortable and accepting of the fact that they were Nobodies. Usually, the red-haired twenty-seven year old was the one who joked about it, sardonically jabbing at his own incompleteness. This sudden turn was shocking, and caused Demyx a mild aneurism.

"Maybe we have hearts after all."

"Will you cut the denial crap? You know as well as I do that we don't have hearts."

"Then why are you asking me? We feel emotions, right? Then the only logical conclusion is that we have that which creates emotions: a heart. I refuse to accept –"

"- the fact that our hearts are gone. Then forget it."

For the second time, Demyx was shocked past rational logic. He stared at Axel, whose bored expression had slumped to reveal a sour and almost painful look on his face. Something was definitely wrong – Axel would argue until his throat was raw and then some. But he had let this point go easily. Still, this concern didn't muster any compassion in Demyx's tone. "What's the matter with you?"

A sigh escaped Axel's lips, heavy with confusion and burden. Not going there. Even he thought himself insane, and that was a massive realization. He didn't want anyone else thinking that. But he had to say something. So he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "I don't think Roxas belongs here."

"Well, that's kind of obvious," Demyx drawled, pulling at his hair. One piece of hair kept falling down, and it was bugging him to death, even though it gave him something better to concentrate on than the conversation. "Why does that affect you? Are you worried about him or are you just getting tired of throwing yourself in front of people who are attempting to smack some sense into him?"

Axel glared at the Musical Nocturne dangerously, and then let it slip to the side wall. He couldn't blame anyone in the Organization for being fed up with the tough act Roxas put up in front of the others. Though Roxas tried so hard, Axel knew it was just to gain respect; a show, a performance, and he hated it. Not because it was just a childish attempt to impress people that really didn't matter, not because it made him haughty and a pain in the ass, but because it wasn't Roxas. It wasn't that innocent soul that the Organization had still failed to corrupt and control. Also, it was pointless since the attitude only unimpressed the superiors. In fact, it just got him in trouble, especially with Marluxia, who thought he was God's gift to Nobodies.

About a month ago it had reached a head, when Roxas had been in his usual snotty mood and decided to take it out on whoever came close first. Unfortunately it was Larxene, who was fraught with her monthly troubles (which meant the rest of the Organization was burdened as well). It started when Larxene stomped by and Roxas called her a dyke for shoving him aside. Words led to attacks, and Marluxia was dragged in by Larxene because they shared beauty products and just before they were going to finish off the fight so Roxas wouldn't walk for a few days, Axel and Demyx had stumbled upon the commotion. Marluxia had drawn his scythe back, smirking down as Roxas struggled to sit up from his spot on the floor. Without a second thought, Axel had vaulted down the hall and threw himself over Roxas, but by then, Marluxia couldn't stop. The attack was laid on across Axel's back.

He didn't remember much after that, but those scared, surprised, confused blue eyes staring up at him burned in his memory. Smiling, he had tried to shrug off what happened as a joke, grinning through the blood he felt pouring down his aching back. Through the pain and breaking, the last thing he had managed to do was force out a small "…silly…"

After that, Roxas's attitude had remained mostly in check, though he still acted defiant with almost everyone he could. At the same time, Axel and Roxas had grown closer, which was awkward and easy at the same time.

"He doesn't get in trouble that often."

Laughter rang out from the stone walls, ripping Axel's answer to shreds. "Oh yea he does – you and I both know he does, you more than anyone." A smirk spread over the two faces in the room from the biting truth in the words. "Come on, that kid's caused more incidents than you or I alone, though he still has a lot to catch up with if he wants to topple our joint prank reputation. He probably gets it from you."

"Get's what? The mischief? I'm pretty sure he's always had that, Demyx," Axel said, becoming more at ease in the conversation. Demyx wielded amazing ability to set anyone at ease and to hear out their problems without talking. Axel hated really talking about problems and confrontations, even if he fought well, so it was better that Demyx didn't pry.

"No, his hatred of authority."

Axel chuckled, shaking his hands and head. "Oh you've lost it, Dem; he didn't get that from me. He's always hated people being in charge of him."

"Not nearly as much as when he started palling around with you. I mean, that's really when he started getting evil towards the Superiors. He's taken a lot after you and you two have been really close since that episode last month." The good mood that had been returning to Axel's body was stunted. "Yea, and he's gotten a bit better to be around since you jumped between… You like him don't you?" awe and devilish teasing played on Demyx's tongue as he observed Axel's panicked reaction

The fiery one glared menacingly as his stomach dropped from his body to the basement six floors down. Ready to strangle Demyx if he needed to escape, Axel knew he couldn't deny it. He just glared, preparing himself for more teasing. "…You can't love someone without a heart."

"I said like, not lov…" The smirk dropped as his mind grasped for something to steady its teetering. "…you don't, do you? …Axel? … come on it's-"

"Shut up, Demyx. I can't love people; I lack the capacity, got that memorized?" Axel hated being a hypocrite – here he sat, saying he didn't feel something he knew he did, after criticizing Demyx for so long for believing they had hearts. But if he could… if he had a heart to give Roxas… well, was that the only thing stopping him?

"But you still feel it, don't you? Isn't that why you asked me why we can still have emotions if we don't have hearts? That's why you're out of it, isn't it?" Checkmate with that know-it-all voice, and there was nothing Axel hated more than being trapped. So he stopped talking, letting the dead conversation hang in the air. Neither elaborated nor repeated. VIII and IX wondered what was going on and what this revelation meant.

Suddenly, Demyx broke the thick fog of awkward silence.

"So, does this mean you're gay?"

"…Shut up Demyx."