Where They Are Now:

Summary: Invader Zim characters: where they are now. After cancellation, what did they do with themselves? How did they support themselves? And what in the world did they do with all that free time? New character every chapter, possible reunion last chapter(s).

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed or killed in the making of this fanfic, though some electrons were inconvenienced.

REAL Disclaimer: Invader Zim? Yea, I knew 'em. Two words to describe that whole bunch: not mine.

Chapter one: Herpestidae.

Hello and welcome to Where They Are Now. This has no affiliation due to the show "Where Are They Now?" due to copyright infringements.

We will start with America's most lovable character in the show known as Invader Zim in our search of where are they now.

GIR.

What did Gir do with his time after the show was cancelled?

Well, probably what any conscious being would do.

Follow their desires and try their best to make their dreams comes true.

So, after Gir had no more obligations with the show, we must ask, what has Gir become?

To answer this question: Gir has become what he has always wished.

To be a mongoose.

We found Gir in the woodlands of Japan, busily working as his new identity. It was quite a marvel, to see him try and blend in with the other mongooses. He has developed a mongoose outer layer that would blend in easily, if his recognizable green doggy face was obscured. But it is not.

No, definitely not.

Gir chases a frightened mongoose daily, we are not able to tell if it is the same mongoose, but it is known that he screams,

"Mongoose! Honk! Honk! Rattle! Rattle! Toot!!! CRAAAASH!!" and at that instant he flies on jets up into the air, we are unsure if he reaches orbit, but soon he plummets down to the ground, with the help of his jets, with a large crash. After three hours of lying in the dent he created, he sits directly up and asks his fellow mongooses, "Beep? Beep? Anywaaaaay, the piggie of camomile ate the world full of candy. I really love..."

He then pauses, for about three minutes, where the mongooses crowd around him closely, deciding if they should use the cloth material his costume is made from for nesting, when suddenly he shouts, "YOU!! You were the doggy I'm looking for!" While simultaneously grasping a mongoose tightly. Then he immediately he weeps, holding the deathly frightened mongoose in his arms, rocking as if it were a baby.

Most mongooses live solitary, but in this case, either Gir does not comprehend the concept of solitude, or he is quite the exception. A few mongooses have accepted him as allies against the harsh conditions of the environment, though we conclude that they've only come to Gir because he brings food and sometimes even shelter in his, seemingly, empty head.

We have witnessed this, as he opens the top of his head, and now that the mongooses have decided he is not a threat, they climb all over him, and all fight for a spot in the top of his head, to eat some of the food.

We had believed that mongooses only ate insects, lizards, snakes and rodents, but we have been proven wrong as these mongooses consume a meal of cupcakes, tacos and the curiously occasional headless clown.

After the feeding time is done, at least one mongoose curls inside Gir's head and sleeps, as Gir giggles loudly, "I gotta mongoose in mah head."

After much debate, we were able to get this exclusive interview with Gir himself:

Gir sits in a chair, still in his mongoose suit, staring up at the microphone hovering above him.

"So, Gir, what is it like? Becoming a mongoose, what you've wished for since the show first started?"

"It's like a giant barrel full of chicken, and then they all squeak and sing happy songs about doorknobs. I like doorknobs."

"Hmm, interesting. So I guess it is a fulfilling feeling? Knowing that you've accomplished an original dream."

Gir joyfully screams incoherently, "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. Hehehe."

"That's quite the statement. Would you mind if we used that for a clip in our credits?"

"I like feet." Gir smiles, shaking his head wildly then immediately leaps up, attaching his mouth to the microphone and began wiggling like a fish, mumbling something about toes.

"You are quite the character."

"I am! I make cheese noises with youuuu..."

After the interview, we let Gir resume his activities in the wooded areas, and we noticed a mysterious person was approaching the group of mongooses, where they all scattered, except for Gir, who happily hugged the leg of the strange man. The man immediately lifted him and put him into a sack, slinging him over the shoulder and walking to his truck.

We decided, for the good of the ratings, to follow this man and his intentions with Gir.

The man drove to an amateur arena in Okinawa, with many spectators, waving money around, placing bets for or against the mongoose.

The ritual of this was curious, but it seemed that Gir is to fight against an opponent in this closed perimeter.

Perhaps another mongoose?

Stay tuned to find out. We'll be back after a word from our sponsor.

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And we're back.

Gir has been let out of the sack, and thrown into the arena, where the spectators have seemed to become silent.

After all the excitement of all the people looking at him got to him, Gir went to sleep after, of course, screaming "BISCUTS!"

There was an uproar in the crowd as many people were changing their bets to the opponent instead of Gir.

The booths close, and the opponent is revealed.

It is a deadly poisonous snake, reaching about three feet long. It slithers quickly over to the sleeping Gir, where it suddenly strikes him in the arm with its long sharp fangs.

There was a metal clang of sorts, where the snake immediately backed up, its teeth seeming harmed by the hard material Gir has under his mongoose self.

Gir sat up smiling wildly and reached out to the snake, where it struck him again, this time in the ear.

"Awww...I like you too, spaghetti." Gir grasps the snake in his hand, where it began swinging violently, almost tearing off Gir's small mongoose ear.

The crowd is going wild, screaming and chanting for the snake to attack the mongoose, as that is what the major bet was.

Gir then slurps up the snake, tail first and swallows it whole.

"He tasted like puddin'"

The crowd is silent, obviously shocked at the mongoose's victory, except for one man who stood on his seat, shouting "Yea you make me rich!" The man dances happily, where he goes over to the betting booth and collects his money, where he was immediately attacked by raving squirrels.

Where squirrels came from in Japan, we have not a clue, we tried to get an interview with the head squirrel we regrettably lost a good cameraman.

But the show must go on.

Gir is let back into the wooded area, and decides to tell the story to his fellow mongooses.

"And then they put me in an itchy world, where I sung all day, until I fell out and I saw the light of a large spaghetti wiggly, and then I ate my knee caps off because I thought they were cheese puffs."

And that is the latest story of Where They Are Now. Not affiliated with the Australian show, "Where Are They Now?" due to copyright infringements.

Tune in next week, where we continue our search for the former cast of Invader Zim.

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Well? What did you think?

Oh come on, after I wrote all this, and you READ all this (which is amazing, I can barely stand my own stories), the least you could do is leave a review.

After I get through the five characters Gir, Zim, Dib, Gaz, and Tak, I will be taking requests on the next character, so you may begin voting now, I will be keeping track of the votes to decide which one I will do first (after Zim, Dib, ect.)

Please review!

Thank you!

Ps. The name of this chapter is the scientific name of a mongoose, just incase you were wondering. And you can call that 1-800 number, but don't mention my name.