Chapter 7: Never Fear, North Academy is Here!

The waves that had been gently lapping against the side of the docks in the early morning sun were suddenly disturbed by a great upwards rush of bubbles from below. For a few moments nothing more happened and then in an abrupt upwelling of sea water the North Academy submarine broke through the surface. A muffled cheer could be heard coming from inside of the vessel. Metal squeaked as the hatch was slowly lifted and a pair of eyes peered through the inch wide crack darting back and forth in search of any signs of danger. The eyes disappeared again and the top hatch was flung wide.

"All clear, boys! Come on up – we've got a school to save!" shouted Chancellor Foster, bounding out onto the out deck of the sub. There was another reverberating cheer from deep within the bowels of the submarine and the North Academy boys poured out of their unusual means of transportation and onto the waiting Duel Academy docks. The students were soon on land, eager to start their rescue mission – so eager, in fact, that they failed to notice the strangely large number of trashcans which were sitting around.

While the Czar was busy rallying is fellow students, Chancellor Foster beat a hasty and surreptitious retreat in the direction of Duel Academy's main building and card shop where Miss Dorothy should still be on duty. After all, he had every confidence that his young duelists could take care of themselves just fine on their own. Oh how wrong he was.

No sooner than the lovesick chancellor was out of sight than one of the trashcan lids stealthily cracked open. There was a faint rustling and then a quiet series of taps that almost sounded like Morse code pinged against the metal side of the can. The same pattern of tapping was spread from one trash bin to another until every unit had been relayed the message.

Just as the North Academy boys were about to strike out in search of Chazz they were startled by a loud clattering as the top burst off the trashcan which had begun the relay of Morse code. They spun around to see a broad shouldered girl wearing a padded orange and brown vest very similar to the Czar's leap out of the afore mentioned bin and land in a crouch, broad smile on her face. Straightening up, she took a deep lungful of air yelled in a thick Russian accent,

"ATTACK!!!"

(Somewhere in Duel Academy forest, well away from anywhere relevant)

Jaden and Chazz eyed Kittuna uneasily as the leader of the Society of Light Sartorius fan girls fidgeted with her huge battle ax. She'd been doing that ever since they'd run into a couple of Bastion's fan girls nearly half an hour ago and Chazz had the uneasy feeling that she might slip over from merely being psycho to homicidal at any minute.

"I think we're lost," announced Karin suddenly, letting her pick ax slide down from its place slung over her shoulder to swing ideally by her side. Kittuna's left eye twitched.

"No, we aren't!" she snapped, her clutch on her battle ax handle becoming a white knuckled death grip. "I know exactly where we are! The goody-two-shoes' fans are around here somewhere!"

"Darn right we are!" shouted a voice from the tree overhead. "DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!" Five heads snapped up in time to see a figure spring from the tree branch they'd just walked under and tackle Kittuna in a flying, midair tackle, somehow managing to avoid her swinging ax blade. A brief struggle ensued involving an unfair three against one scenario, but exactly whom it was unfair for was rather hard to tell. Shoving Chazz hard in the center of the chest in her eagerness to join the fray, Karin neither noticed nor cared as the black haired Slifer landed heavily on his back, breath momentarily knocked out of him. Kate, too, also impatient to put her packet of instant coffee to use in the fight, pushed Jaden out of her way, sending the shorter boy sprawling. The burnet landed on all-fours, eyes clenched tight shut in previous anticipation for the impact.

Slowly opening one eye, then the other, Jaden blinked in surprise when he found a pair of wide, startled, slate gray eyes staring directly at him from only a few inches away. Jaden had somehow managed to land with his hands planted on either side of Chazz's head and his legs stratling the taller teen's waist. Their faces were so close that the slightest bob of Jaden's head would have made the tips of their noses brush. Chazz's normally stoic ad emotionless features were flushed a deep crimson with embarrassment.

Before either boy could move from this compromising position, however, there was an incredibly bright flash and then a loud CLICK. And then another and another and another. As Jaden attempted to blink away the multi-colored spots which were dancing before his eyes, a new voice started chatter excitedly.

"I knew it! I knew it! You guys just looked way too hott together to be straight!" The commentary was punctuated by yet another brilliant flash of light. "And uke Chazz, too! Aw, man! I'm just loving this! This is almost better than incest!"

"What the hell?!?" Chazz yelped, finally gaining enough awareness to shove Jaden off, his face still burning firey red as he sat up. Standing over them was a girl of about medium height with straight, dirty-blond hair and long bangs that flopped nearly to her eyebrows. Clutched in her hands was a large, expensive digital camera, the strap of which was hung around her neck. A brilliant smile was illuminating her face like a supernova as she continued to rant.

"Hey, it's okay – your being gay is awesome! This totally my day! I live for yaoi! Oh, I'm Anna by the way. Now if only I could get some shots of Zane and Atticus…." The girl trailed off thoughtfully.

"Woah! Hold on a minute! I am NOT gay!!!" Chazz all but shouted. This was not a good way to start the morning.

"Yeah," Jaden interjected, enthusiastically, "Chazz is never happy or cheerful if he can avoid it!" There was a sudden silence. Even the fight between the mysterious attacker and Sartorius's fan girls momentarily halted as the three girls paused to gaped at the oblivious Jaden.

"Please, tell me he didn't actually mean that!!!" groaned Kittuna. There was no response. "God! How could that IDIOT have defeated Master Sartorius?!?" she all but shrieked in frustration, before swinging her battle ax at the head of the fourth member of the fight again. The ruckus began once more. Jaden turned anxiously to Chazz who was resting his face in the palm of his hand. The shorter boy rubbed the back of his neck and grinned uncomfortable.

"What is it? Did I say something wrong?"

"Slacker, when she implied that we were gay, she did not mean that we were happy," Chazz stated slowly and as evenly as possible, as if talking to a five year old. "She meant that we liked guys."

Jaden continued to stare at the black haired Slifer with wide confused eyes.

"But I like everybody."

Chazz groaned and hid his face in his hands again,

"Why me?"

(Near the coastline of Duel Academy Island, by the lighthouse at the top of a very tall tree)

"Any sign of him yet?"

"Nope."

"How about now?"

"Still nothing." The second speaker let out a long suffering sigh as her impatient companion pouted sullenly for a moment before brightening again.

"Can I have a look?"

"No."

"Aw, why not?" whined the girl tossing her wavy reddish brown hair over one shoulder as she continued to swing her legs back and forth with barely suppressed energy.

"Because when Aravis let you use her binoculars you broke them when you attempted the throw them at the head of one of those crazy Syrus fan girls as they went running by," snapped the girl sitting next to her who was peering through a pair of military field glasses.

"But Chloe-!"

"For the last time, Kitty – NO!"

Kitty crossed her arms across her chest again and started to pout once more, scooting a little farther away from Chloe on their tree branch.

"Oh, no way…," murmured Chloe under her breath. Kitty perked up immediately, her pout momentarily forgotten.

"What? What is it?" she asked eagerly, leaning so far forward on the branch in her attempt to spot what Chloe had seen that she nearly toppled off. Chloe grabbed the back of the other girl's shirt and hauling her back up without once taking her eyes away from the binoculars.

"The North Academy boys are here," she announced, voice thick with disgust. Kitty's eyes widened and then she scrunched up her nose as Chloe continued. "Shoot! What if they find him before we do?! We'll never be able to get to him then!"

"Well," Kitty turned to her partner in fan girlism, a large, evil, sadistic smile spreading its way across her face, "We'll have to just… distract them before they have the chance to find our Chazzy then… won't we?" Kitty's eyes were practically glowing a demonic red by now.

The contagious, malevolent smile branched over to Chloe and tugged up the corners of her mouth. "I like the way you think, Kitty."

This scheme called for a bout of evil laughter and both fan girls threw back their heads to comply to the urge.

"BWAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHA- Oops!"

Chloe grabbed the back of Kitty's shirt again as her fellow fan girl nearly fell off of her perch on the tree branch once more.

"How about we wait until we're on the ground to finish our round of evil laughter?"

"Good idea."

(In the main Duel Academy building, en route to the card shop)

Chancellor Foster crept down the abandoned Duel Academy halls, prepared to dart for cover at the first sign of life. Thankfully, though, classes had been cancelled due the fan girls who were still running wild and unchecked across Academy Island assaulting students and most of the teachers had taken refuge in places that weren't their usual haunts to make it less likely that they would be found. The chancellor smiled to himself. This was all going perfectly. He was nearly halfway across the building, completely undetected. He'd be talking to the lovely Miss Dorothy within the next ten minutes just as long as he didn't run into-

"Foster?!?" Chancellor Foster jumped guiltily and spun around, straightening up from his half crouch to face Sheppard. "And just what do you think you're doing here?"

Foster straighten himself up further still attempting to use his height to his full advantage and tried to put on an air of distain.

"I am going to the card shop."

Before he could speed away down the hall and make good his escape, Chancellor Sheppard stepped directly into his path arms folded across his chest. He glared at the North Academy chancellor.

"She doesn't want to see you."

"Oh, really?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Really?!"

Suddenly Sheppard held up his hands, "Stop. We're acting like students."

"You're right," Foster reluctantly agreed. "We should be dealing with this like the mature, adult men we are."

Silence hung thickly in the air as the two chancellors thought about this. Then in perfect synchronization they glared at each other directly in the eye, raised their right hands, pointed at each other and shouted in unison,

"THIS MEANS WAR!!!"

(outside of the Slifer Red dorm underneath the second floor porch)

Aster Phoenix leaned back against the wall behind him and gasped for breath, pushing wet silver strands of hair out of his face. He'd never known he could swim that fast. The protégée duelist rubbed his bare upper arms, trying to regain some heat through friction. His feet ached from having to run this far over the uneven terrain barefoot but it was more than made up for by the fact that he'd at least temporarily managed to evade his rabid fan girls who were so psychotic they were practically foaming at the mouth. Aster glanced at the underside of the porch above him. He was almost there! Forcing his quivering muscles into motion, Aster mounted the stairs and dragged himself up with a great deal of help from the banister.

Please let Jaden be there… Please let Jaden be there… Please just let somebody, anybody, who could help me be there! Grabbing the knob of the door to the room Jaden, Syrus, and Hassleberry shared, the young silver haired duelist turned it and pulled the door back gently. Aster peeked around the edge of the door warily. His jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out.

The room had been given a complete makeover. Candles in ornate holders lined the edges of the bunk beds and covered the desk – flickering ever so slightly is the draught Aster had created by opening the door. Around the desk, placed with reverent care were all of Jaden's school supplies, notes for class, and socks, and above the desk illuminated by the candle light a huge color poster of Jaden himself standing in his trademark 'that's game' pose. Kneeling in the center of the room were two fan girls completely dressed in Jaden's clothing. Aster had the uneasy feeling that they had probably gone even so far as to put on his rival's underwear. The girl on the right began to speak.

"Oh, great Jaden. Oh, marvelous, illustrious Jaden, god of sex. It is I, your humble servant, Sarah."

"And I," the other intoned, "your ever loyal follower, Jean."

They continued to speak, now in perfect unison.

"We come before you today, though we are mere unworthy mortals, to ask that you bestow on us the honor of your presence that we might worship and give homage to you properly. We offer you our virginity and our first bourns-"

Aster hastily shut the door and took off down the stairs, no longer caring how much noise he made. Oh, the mental scarring!!! Creepy and weird didn't even begin to cover it!!!

(On the other side of the island somewhere in the woods near the Obelisk Blue dorm)

Zane eyed the hoard of drooling fan girls unhappily, but he was out of options – they had him surrounded. The faintest sheen of sweat began to form on his on his brow. This was not good.

The ominous silence was abruptly broken by a yell not unlike Tarzan's and Zane suddenly found himself flying through the air watching his fan girls shrink away into the distance. Or, at least, the majority of his fan girls. In the distance behind him Zane heard someone yell,

"No fair, Leanna! Bring him back!!!"

It was only then that Zane tried to get a look at his captor. Her curly black hair was pulled back into a short ponytail and the words on her t-shirt read 'I heart Zane.' She was yet another fan girl. She grinned as she noticed him looking at her.

"Isn't this great, Zany? Now I've got you all to myself!"

It was just too much, Zane couldn't help himself. The normally stoic, calm, collected and above all silent duelist threw back his head and let out a wail.

"NOOO!!!"

(In a second floor room in the Abandoned Dorm)

The small group of teachers huddled together miserably, occasionally casting nervous glances out of the room's one window in case some fan girl was trying to sneak up on them again.

"It's time," the head of the Ra Yellow dorm announced, straightening up a little from where he'd been sitting slumped against the wall, an untouched bowl of chili on his lap. "We have to make the call."

"Are you sure?" asked one of the other teachers unhappily. "It couldn't possibly be as bad as all that…."

The Ra Yellow master merely shook his head, an air of resignation in his voice.

"No, there's no use for it. We can't leave it any longer. We have to call," he bit his lip and sent a nervous sideways glance at his fellow teachers before letting out a long gusty sigh, "Mr. Kaiba."

A/N: Okay, who'd I miss? I know I missed some people's requests in there – if one of them was yours, please let me know! As for GinaxAlvissForever, yes Shizuka was in this chapter – you just don't find out his name until the next. And Alexis Serenity Cornilius MOON, your fan girl already has a guaranteed part in the next chapter – it just didn't fit into this one.

If anyone has any new fan girl requests, just drop me a line! Also anybody got any cameo requests for cast members from the original series other than Kaiba? If so, just let me know! Thanks for reading!