Against Your Will

By: Kigen and Faraway Dawn

Because of my recent turning of Faraway Dawn into a Narutard; our love for NaruSasu, and the fact that there are few good Sasuke uke fics, I bribed Faraway Dawn into a roleplay. ... And this would be the twisted result.

And so, our rping has taken a slightly off set. Faraway Dawn and I are also writing a NejiTenTen fic entitled Disillusioned. It's on Faraway Dawn's profile, so go check it out.

Disclaimer: We totally abused the curse seal in this rp. If Naruto was ours, this would be the result. Warning for a very emo Sasuke and a near emo Naruto.

:-:-:-:-:

Kakashi stared at Sasuke. It was much more information than he was expecting. Much more than he wanted to know if truth be told. He glanced toward the door. Hope you're happy. The kid is going to need more help than when he was brought here.

Sasuke let out another sob, this one softer. "Let me go... I did what you wanted." there was exhaustion in his voice, as well as submission.

Kakashi released Sasuke. He wasn't going to apologize, these were orders. "Lie down."

Turning away from Kakashi, he curled up on his side, arms wrapped tight around himself.

"Why did you stay? Power? Revenge? A high price to pay don't you think?"

"I couldn't leave." Sasuke whispered, burying his face into his knees. "He was stronger than me... every time I tried... I couldn't. Then, I just gave up."

"You could. How often did you black out Sasuke?"

He shrugged. "I couldn't at first, and then... I just made myself forget." he whimpered. "Go away."

"You said you were raped." Kakashi wasn't sure he wanted this information. "And you were aware of it. So you did push it from your mind." Kakashi glanced at the door. "How much does Naruto know about this?"

"I told him nothing happened. He probably thinks it did happen."

Kakashi sat back in his seat. "You going to tell him?"

Sasuke tensed. "No."

He observed for a few minutes. Sasuke grew very tense at the mention of him telling Naruto. "He's going to find out if you don't tell him."

"You can't tell him. He's thinks I'm fucked up enough as it is."

"I won't need to tell him." Kakashi nodded around the room. "The room isn't as heavily monitored as it was before but it still is."

Sasuke shook slightly, sitting up. "Don't. I don't care what Tsunade says. Don't show him this." he was trembling, eyes looking desperate.

"I'll see what I can do." It was almost unnatural to see Sasuke like that. He wasn't just worried about it. He was terrified.

"It's... It's hard enough being around him when he pities me like this. I don't need him to look at me with those pitying eyes."

"He doesn't pity you. He does care for your well being though. You know as well as I do that Naruto wouldn't want you thinking he pities you."

"He does." Sasuke curled up again. "I hate it." Taking a deep breath, he rubbed at his eyes. "Is that all you wanted Kakashi?"

"It's enough for now." He got up slowly. "Try to rest." He wanted to say 'I'm sorry for pushing you.' but Sasuke would probably be offended by an apology.

Sasuke snorted. "Yeah, I'll sleep just fine." he spat bitterly.

"You want me to send Naruto in?" he asked before moving to the door.

He was quiet. Yes, a part of him, a big part, wanted Naruto to come in and just make it better with his annoying Narutoness. But the more logical side was in disagreement. "No. I don't want him here."

"Suit yourself." He left the room and traveled to the Hokage's office.

Tsunade sat solemnly at her desk. "I'm sorry I made you do that Kakashi."

"It's worse than I was expecting." the jounin leaned against the wall.

"Worse then even Jiraiya was, and he knows Orochimaru the best." She frowned. "I don't know if it'll be worse if he continues to ignore it, or now that he'll think about it."

"I expected it to be bad, we all did." Kakashi glanced at the screen out of the corner of his eye. "I think even Naruto had his suspicions."

"It was fairly obvious." she sighed, pouring herself a cup of sake. "Feel like a drink Kakashi?"

"I'm fine. What do you plan to do now with Sasuke? He's going to need a lot of work now." Kakashi covered his sharingan. "And he as doing so well." he let out a slightly exhausted sigh.

"The same as we've been doing. Counseling and letting Naruto help him." she sighed, downing the cup. "Honestly, I'm afraid to push him any further. There's only so much trauma a person can undergo."

"If he talks about it anymore than this, I'd prefer it be at his own discretion. The more we poke and prod the worse he's going to get." Kakashi looked at Tsuande intently. "It'd be better if he could just tell me or someone, Naruto perhaps, of his own free will. I'd rather not see him pushed to the breaking point like when Jiraiya was reversing the seal."

She nodded. "However, it's about impossible to make him do anything with that stubbornness of his." she sighed, leaning back. "Do what you think is best Kakashi. I won't push it."

:-:-:-:-:

Sasuke whimpered in his sleep, tossing and turning. His talk with Kakashi earlier had only brought back more memories, more horrific nightmares. He cried out in his sleep. "Stop! Don't!"

"Hey-Hey Sasuke, come on. Wake up." Naruto poked Sasuke lightly in the shoulder. He was obviously having a nightmare. "Come on get up. Quit screaming like a girl."

"Don't!" he threw a punch in Naruto's direction, before waking up. He sat up, gasping with tears on her face. Taking a deep breath, he wiped his eyes. "Go back to bed Naruto."

Naruto stood to the side blinking. "What the hell did you try to punch me for? Jeeze what kind of freaky dream where you having?" Naruto kept an eye on Sasuke's fist. He almost didn't dodge that.

"Nothing. Sorry." Sasuke sighed, laying back down and turning his back to Naruto. "Go back to bed."

Naruto flopped down into the usual chair. "Not sleepy."

"You're half asleep right now dobe."

"I am not!" Naruto forced himself to sit up straight. "So what were you yelling about anyway?"

"Just a dream." he pulled the blankets tighter around himself, hiding hid face in his pillow. "Just a nightmare."

"Oh." Naruto looked around the room. Well, that hardly got him anywhere. "What did you dream about?" Naruto laughed in the back of his mind. Like hell Sasuke was going to tell him that. Sure, he'd opened up a lot, but he wasn't going to tell him that.

"Some bad memories." he muttered. "Nothing that I haven't dreamt before."

"Oh." Again Naruto looked around the room. "You're not going to get sick this time through right?"

"I'm not going to get sick." he growled. "Go back to your room Naruto."

"Want me gone that badly? Jeeze was I in that nightmare or something?" he laughed a bit and rubbed his head sheepishly.

"You wish you were in my dreams dobe."

"I called it a nightmare."

He sighed. "No, you weren't there dobe." he muttered.

"Tsunade then? She's been in a few of my nightmares." Naruto shuddered. Sakura was too much like her mentor. Unfortunately his last dream had involved the two of them, very mad about something or other, trying to punch him through walls.

Sasuke sighed. "I really don't want to talk about it Naruto."

"Aw you never want to talk though. It'd do you some good ya know."

Sasuke sighed. He was starting to get a headache. "Naruto... I don't want to think about it, let alone talk about it. Please, either leave or shut up and let me sleep."

Naruto opened his mouth to say something but stopped. He could be quiet. He fidgeted for a few minutes but remained silent.

Sasuke groaned, turning to Naruto. "Go to bed, You have to train in the morning idiot."

"I'll be just fine! You look like you need more sleep than me."

"Then lay down here and go to sleep." he frowned, turning. "You're fidgeting is keeping me away."

"If you wanted me to get in bed with you all you had to do was say so. Hehe."

A pillow hit Naruto in the head. "Go to hell dobe!"

Naruto laughed. "Come on. I was just messing around."

"Ass." Sasuke grumbled, though he relaxed when he felt Naruto slipped into the bed.

"Yeah but you'd hate me if I wasn't one." Naruto said shifting slightly to get comfortable.

"Who said I don't hate you now?" he turned so his back was to the blond.

"I dunno. If I hated you I wouldn't let you sleep next to me."

"I'm not you." he sighed, turning back onto his back. He couldn't seem to get comfortable.

"Stop squirming so much." Naruto mumbled tugging Sasuke over to him. "Can't sleep if you keep moving."

Head now cushioned by Naruto's shoulder, he bit him. Not hard enough to even leave a mark, but strong enough to show he was mildly annoyed.

Naruto blinked. "Did you just, bite me?"

"Yes. Now shut up."

"What was that for?" Naruto whined.

"Being annoying. Now be quiet and let me sleep."

Naruto smiled to himself and fell silent. Sasuke could play his tough guy act all he wanted, but he had stopped shifting around, and he was looking a bit more relaxed. Naruto grinned.

He sighed, eyes closing. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?" Naruto glanced at Sasuke out of the corner of his eye. "Thought you wanted me to be quiet so you could sleep."

"Yeah. If Kakashi or Tsunade want to tell you something, or show you a new video, don't watch it."

"Uh, ok. How come?"

"I don't want you to see it." There was no point in lying.

Naruto shifted slightly. "Can't be that bad can it?" Really though, how bad could it be? It wasn't like Sasuke said anything bad, he was sure of it.

"I don't want you to see it." Sasuke repeated, body relaxing. "It's not something you need to know."

"It IS that bad isn't it?"

"None of your business."

"What's so bad that I can't know? It's not like I don't know everything else you didn't want me to know."

"Shouldn't you want to hear it from me, instead of them?" Sasuke was not below playing dirty.

"You're not gonna tell me anyway. At least if I bug them they'll cave."

Sasuke paused. "You don't want to know anyways. You'll be happier if you don't."

Naruto shifted slightly so he could see Sasuke a bit better. It really was that bad. Sasuke's face was buried in Naruto's shoulder. "You're such a pain. You should just tell me."

"Why do you need to know?"

"Why do you need to keep it secret?"

"Because I don't want you know." Sasuke spat. He was nervous. If Naruto kept pushing, he might slip and give. "Just go to bed. We're arguing over the same things." he turned his back, to sleep.

"You seem really nervous that I'll find out." Naruto said more to himself than anyone else.

"I am." Sasuke admitted. "Kakashi already..." he sighed. "Never mind."

"Already what?" Naruto was interested now. If Kakashi was here again, that meant they were asking Sasuke more questions.

"Kakashi did another mind fuck session. He found out stuff I don't want anyone to know."

"And they got it on tape?" Naruto mentally slapped himself. Of course they got it on tape, they established that a good while ago.

"Don't even think about watching it dobe." He stiffened. "Please don't."

"Why don't you just tell me then." Usually Sasuke would have said something like, 'of course it's on tape idiot.'

He glared at Naruto. "What do you want me to do? Tell you everything I don't want you to know?"

"Something like that. Why don't you want me knowing? Don't you trust me or something?" Naruto pouted.

"You know this isn't about trust." Sasuke spat.

"Prove it!"

"How can I prove it without telling you?" Sasuke yelled, frustrated. "Don't you trust me enough to tell you if something was really wrong?"

"Well something has to be really wrong or you wouldn't be trying to hide it so much! You always do that and you know it!"

Sasuke glared, chest heaving, before he looked away. "He made me talk about the nightmare I had last night."

"Yeah well, you can tell him what it was about but not me?"

"He used sharingan on me. I wasn't exactly willing."

"In other words he intimidated you."

"He..." Sasuke slide out of the bed.

Naruto grabbed the back of Sasuke's shirt. "He what?"

"Nothing. I'm leaving. Stay here if you want. I don't care." He tugged his shirt out of Naruto's hand.

"Strategic retreat?" Naruto got up. "What the hell happened? If it's got you all riled up like this it had to have been pretty damn bad."

"Fuck off Uzumaki. It's none of your goddamned business."

"Oh! I got you swearing now, huh Uchiha? That bad, huh? What was it? A nightmare about Orochimaru feeling you up?"

"None of your fucking business!" Sasuke turned, feeling sick to his stomach, Gods, if Naruto knew how close he was. "Leave me alone." his stomach flipped.

Naruto watched Sasuke's reaction in concern. He looked sick. Really sick when he looked a bit closer. "You don't look so good..."

"I'm fine Uzumaki." he gritted out. He could control himself better than this. Admitting that... that had happened should not be upsetting him that much.

"Yeah, sure. That's why you look like you're going to chuck up your dinner."

"Piss off." he could handle the nausea. He just had to get away from Naruto now. Ignoring the blond, he made his way out of the room.

"Get back here and make me!" Naruto followed Sasuke.

"Stop following." he vaguely wondered if the bathroom would be a good idea. It was the only room he could barricade himself in at the moment.

"Like I said make me. You need to tell me what the hell is going on."

"No I don't." Sasuke entered the bathroom, slamming the door in the blonds face. Even this door didn't have a lock on it. He leaned against it, knowing that Naruto could break the door if he wanted, but hoped he wouldn't.

Naruto grumbled to himself for a few minutes. He leaned back against the door. "You're such a pain in the ass."

Sasuke sighed, still trying to quell his stomach. "Just go away dobe."

"I'm not goin' anywhere." Naruto crossed his arms and slid to a sitting position. "Hope you plan to spend the night in there."

"Hope you enjoy your mission." Naruto's mission started early in the morning. He could stay in here a few hours.

"I'll be just fine."

"Hn." Sasuke laid against the door, forehead against the cool wood. He was beginning to feel better. He might end up nodding off if Naruto actually managed to stay quiet.

"He... did do something, didn't he Sasuke?"

"..." Sasuke sighed. "If I say yes, would you leave me alone?"

Naruto glanced over his shoulder. "I'll leave you alone when I know you're telling me the truth."

"He..." Sasuke sighed again, closing his eyes. "He did. Just like you fucking thought he did. Now go away."

Naruto tensed slightly. Sasuke sounded... serious.

Sasuke stayed still, waiting for Naruto to respond. Any moment and he should be leaving or demanding in or something. What was taking him so long?

Naruto lightly hit the back of his head against the door. He sounded serious.

He still wasn't answering. "I told you what you wanted to hear dobe. Now go."

"But... you're not..." Naruto paused. Sasuke was serious. "You mean that bastard really." he grit his teeth slightly.

"Yes." Sasuke hoped Naruto would just leave. "Go back to your room Naruto."

Naruto banged his head against the door in frustration.

"Naruto..."

"I'm not going... anywhere. Do don't you try to make me."

"And what's sitting in the hallway going to do? Go to bed Naruto."

Naruto didn't move. "Shut up then so I can sleep." He stared down at the floor.

Sasuke laid down curling on his side. He was starting to feel nauseous again. "Staying isn't going to do anything Dobe."

"Leaving won't do me any good either." Naruto laid down on his side. "I said I'm not going anywhere. Deal with it."

"I want to be alone idiot."

"You're alone in there settle for that." Naruto grumbled.

"I can feel your chakra on the other side of the door." It wasn't even muted. It was restless and angry.

"Deal with it." Naruto stared at the wall across from him. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to hit something really hard.

God the boy was so infuriating. Opening the door, it stopped against Naruto's back. "Move Dobe."

Naruto sat up and moved away from the door. "When are you going to stop calling me that?"

"When you stop being one." Sasuke stood in the doorway, looking down at him. "Do it."

Naruto glanced at Sasuke.

"Hit me, yell, scream. Do whatever it is you want to do."

"I don't want to hit you." Naruto resumed his staring contest with the wall.

"You want to do something."

"Yeah I'd like to hunt down that pedo-snake and kick his ass."

"Go do that then." Sasuke walked past Naruto. Hopefully the boy would stay there and wait for the wall to glare back.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"My room, yours, the couch. Where ever you won't follow me."

Naruto didn't move. He felt very exhausted suddenly.

Taking his stillness as defeat, he passed Naruto and headed to his own room again.

Naruto waited until Sasuke was in his room before slamming his fist hard into the floor.

Sasuke heard Naruto throwing his fit in the hallway and ignored it. Crawling into his own bed, he laid under the covers waiting for sleep to take him.

:-:-:-:-:

It wasn't until mid morning that Sasuke had fallen into an uneasy doze. He had listen to Naruto pace the hallways all night, grumbling words he could barely hear. It wasn't until the door slammed shut and Naruto left for his training, that Sasuke finally relaxed enough for his eyes to shut.

Naruto didn't return till mid-afternoon. He had thrown himself into his training much more than usual. He was furious and fury pushed him far in his training. He was quiet though when he returned. He walked back down the hall and poked his head into Sasuke's room. It was quiet, Sasuke was clearly asleep.

Sasuke tossed, whimpering a little, as he tangled himself deeper into the blankets. Naruto finding out, and Kakashi making him remember made the nightmares even worse. There were no black outs to hide the feel of Orochimaru's tongue, his touch.

Naruto went over to the bed slowly. Sasuke was having a bad dream, probably reliving events he had hoped leave buried in the back of his mind. He sat on the bed.

"Ah!" his body arched, with a whimper. "No." he chocked, fingers twisting in the fabric of the sheets. "St-stop!" with a gasp, his eyes snapped open, panting from the after effects. Cursing softly, he rubbed his eyes.

Naruto remained silent. He didn't know what to say and didn't know anything he could do.

"What are you doing here dobe?" Sasuke's arm was dragged over his eyes. His voice was tired.

"Checking on you." Naruto muttered.

"Why?" Sasuke didn't understand why Naruto wasn't sickened by him right now.

"Cause I care.""

"Why though?" Sasuke turned his head, peaking at Naruto from under his arm. "Aren't you disgusted with me?"

Naruto shook his head. Disgusted with Sasuke? No. Disgusted with Orochimaru? Hell yes.

"Why not? I let him do it. I stopped fighting. I deserved it."

Naruto shook his head. "No one deserves what he did." Naruto's words were coming out in almost a growl. "And he'll pay for it."

Sasuke snorted. "Didn't you say something about revenge not being worth it?"

"Your brother didn't rape you." Naruto grumbled.

Sasuke let out a bitter bark of a laugh. "So, it's okay for you to get revenge for something that doesn't even affect you, yet I should forgive my brother who made a majority of my life hell?"

"I never said you had to forgive him, just why would you want to kill the only blood you have left?" Naruto stared at the floor. "At least you still have someone left."

"Blood isn't always thicker than water." Sasuke muttered.

"Then why did you want revenge so much? If that's how you feel your family shouldn't have mattered all that much."

"You just want me to stop trying to kill my brother, so I won't leave again. But it's completely okay for you to go kill Orochimaru, because you are pissed."

"I never said I'd be killing him." Naruto muttered. Not once had he said it, but he did feel that Orochimaru would get what was coming to him in time.

"Beat him until he can't move. Harm him in some way." Sasuke sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Never said I'd do that either. Unless you want me to." Naruto stood up slowly. "Karma's a bitch. It'll bite back one day. He'll get what's coming to him."

"I'm sure." Sasuke mumbled, curling onto his side.

Naruto sat back down in frustration. There was so much he couldn't get out of his head, so much that he just couldn't stand. He laid back and turned onto his side, putting an arm around Sasuke and pulling him gently back against him. The blonde lightly rested his forehead against Sasuke's shoulder. Of all people to go through something like that... why Sasuke?

Sasuke tensed a moment, before relaxing as well, "What are you doing dobe?" he mumbled.

Naruto remained silent. 'Wondering why it had to be you.' didn't seem like the thing to say, so he didn't answer at all for a few minutes. "Dunno."

"Who else would it be though? Kabuto is more then willing to spread his legs for the bastard."

"Thought he had a lot of people willing." Naruto mumbled. "Why'd he have to..." Why you?

:-:-:-:-:

Yep, Naruto found out. It's all in the open now.

Thanks for reading and please review.

Ja min'na-san!