A/N: Hi everyone!! Yes, I know, shocking right? I've been gone for almost 7 months and here I am again. Just to let you fans of 'Lost Without You' know, I will not continue with that story because I do not see fit to make a better ending then it already was.

NEways… this new fic will be only about 9 chapters long or so. No, you poem mongers, you may not steal my poem. This by the way will be separated in to sections so I can have chapters. Smart, no? this is, as always, a Reela fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own ER whatsoever, cuz if I did, Ray and Neela would have kissed a loooonnnnggg time ago! I own the poem, and that's pretty much it.

Chapter 1: You'll never forget him

You'll never forget him.

You'll never forget all the times you shared with him.

Of course I would not be able to forget him. Why did I think I was going to be able forget him? Was I so pathetic to think that I could just move on with my life without Ray? But that's me, pathetic childish little Neela. Ready to fall in love with the one guy who doesn't think of me that way. To Ray, I'm just a friend. What more can I be to him? But that just doesn't make sense. What about all those times when I'd catch him looking at me and all those things that he'd say and do to me that just seemed to tell me that there was a connection. Like we had something special.

"You'll never forget him." Abby told me one day in the lounge.

"I know, but I can try, can't I?" I replied.

"Why would you want to do that, Neela? You love the guy to death. Why try to throw that all away?"

"Because I can't and don't want to waste my life on a man who doesn't feel the same way I do. Abby, I'm not getting any younger."

"Neela, you say that like your forty or something. You're like six years younger than I am. You've still got time."

"Not for him. I've already wasted two years of my life lollygagging over him and our relationship hasn't gone anywhere. If anything, it's gone backwards. I've messed up so much with our 'friendship' that I don't think it could ever go forwards as far as it has been going backwards. Every time we speak, it's like this huge invisible elephant standing in between us. There's so much that could be said that we don't because everything is so complicated between us."

"Whatever you say, Neela. I still think that you should wait a little longer before you do something drastic like pretend that you never loved him." Abby looked me once more in the eye and left the room, as she was done with her coffee break.

What more was I supposed to say? It was true that everything was very complicated between me and Ray but to stop trying everything that I had going for me was just plain stupid. Abby was right and I knew it. I did love Ray. I do love Ray. I love him so much it hurts every time I look at him or even think of him. I wish someone could tell me why for the most part when you're in love with someone, that person doesn't really love you the way you love them and why everything has to be so complicated.

It just doesn't make sense. Why can't love be like it is in the movies when the person you love secretly loves you back and then in the end, you end up with the guy all happily-ever-after like? Why do we have to be so hopelessly devoted to that person, no matter what? What drives us to feel like we could wait for the rest of our lives for that person to truly understand just how much you really love him?

We had really good times together. Ray and I. So many sleepless nights I would just get up and join him as he was watching some horror flick, snuggling next to him in the comfort of his (what I thought) loving arm. But to him it was just friendship. It was just what roomies did.

Many times I'd wake up to the wonderful smell of fresh coffee, because Ray felt like making coffee for us so we could be awake on our shift instead of drinking that horrid stuff that some people (cough, Morris, cough) like to call coffee. It was cute when I'd look at some of the people in Jumbomart and they had this look on their faces like we were a really cute couple. Ray, with his adorable sunglasses on even though we were inside and his constant need to buy Captain Crunch even though I personally think it's a sad excuse for breakfast.

So, yes, Abby was right. I'll never forget him. I should never try.