I saw a Havoc/Riza story, and I was thinking "What would happen if it was EdRoy, if Havoc got jealous of the colonel always having the girl, and opened his cigarette-filled mouth?" Well, lets see...

oneshot

Roy Mustang stepped out of his office, straightening up ruffled edges of his, now not-so-nicely-pressed coat, followed by the Full Metal Alchemist, a brush swiped across his face and desperately clutching his jacket for comfort.

Riza shook her head, heading to the colonel's office to give him papers that should have been done over an hour ago, but his door was locked and the moaning inside made her decide he'd take an extra shift tonight to make up for it. She took in his ruffled hair and smug appearance; it made her regret not being able to make him look that happy. She had a crush on him a long time ago; one of those crushes between best friends, that you know you want to do everything to make that person happy, to make them succeed, but knowing if you get to close to that person, you ruin everything.

"Sir? Here's your papers; there's another stack, then you can go." She handed the pile of papers to him, watching his face drop.

"What! Noooooo! My shift is over in an hour! I can't get all this done!" He wailed at her.

"If you didn't spend so much work time as private time, you wouldn't have that problem." She turned on her heel and left him there mumbling about it not being his fault he got distracted.

Jean Havoc watched the short blonde walk past; hair out of braid, sprawled around his shoulders; hands, one metal one real, clutched to his coat in comfort; blush across his face as if someone had slapped him. He knew what had happened; the colonel had taken advantage of the Full Metal just coming back from a long trip to some city, and had his way with him. Claiming that he needed to "brief the Full Metal on what he had done on his mission" and "for no one to disturb them" because of the important business. He knew from the moans coming from the office, the pleasurable moans of kisses and that, that they were doing more than talking of military business.

He watched Ed straighten up from his hunched position; whimpering as he did so and clutching his coat tighter.

"Hard trip?" Havoc asked, cigarette bouncing in his mouth as he talked.

"Eh? Yeah. The...Trip was hard and long but I survived it" Edward smirked, wiping his cheek.

Havoc tried ignoring the emphasis, put there clearly on purpose. "Yeah. Next time watch you're behind on the trip. Hunched over like that people may run into you."

"Who are you calling so small that--"

"Nii-san!" Alponse chided, stepping in between his brother and Havoc. "He never meant it that way." He bowed to Havoc before dragging a grumbling Edward off.

---

Havoc smirked as he put his arm above the bubbly blonde girl he was talking to. She wore a pink mini skirt and a tight low cut top, showing off her figure quite nicely. He leaned against his arm, closing his face in towards hers slowly, taking in her vanilla smell...

"Ohhhh My God!" She squealed, pushing away from Havoc and jumping in front of Roy, twirling her hair through her fingers and giggling at something funny, although as far as he could tell, neither one of them had said anything to each other, let alone do something funny. He watched as Roy smirked and made general chit-chat with her, putting his arm around her shoulder and walking her to, well, where ever it seemed they were going.

Havoc growled to himself, wondering why the guy that was most not into girls, always got them? Why, if the girls knew that Roy didn't swing that way, wouldn't they be turned off? Maybe then he could keep a girl. But in order for that to happen, wouldn't someone have to reveal about the colonel's sexual preference? And this girl was very, very nice. Not every day does someone like Havoc come across a girl with such nice... accessories, and he was sure she liked him! It was just the compelling aura about Mustang, that hypnotized the girls to like him! Yeah, that was it. So, what to do?

"Mustang!" He yelled, jogging up to his superior officer and best friend. He watched the smirk drop from Roy's face and look at him quizzically.

"I was just wondering, how was he --Edward, that is-- in the office today? Man the way you two guys were going at it, I could hear it from my cubical!" He smirked, and looked at the girl, an expression of shock on her face.

--

Havoc sighed again, putting the ice to his cheek and slumping on the table.

"It's you're own fault," Riza stated, taking the melted ice pack to the freezer and sitting down across from him. "Roy always gets the girl. You should know that by now. I'm just surprised that she hit you so hard for something like that; you must have really crushed her dreams about being with him."

He nodded, looking up to the clock slowly. "What happened to her?"

"Roy gave her a rain check, said sometime they'll have to get together for a coffee or something. Then Full Metal came and he took off with him. She was in total shock all over again, I guess. Oh, and this is for you." She handed over a napkin with a name and a phone number scrawled on it.

"What's this?" He blinked, looking over the girl name.

"That blonde girl asked me to give it to you. Said she was sorry about the mishap and would love to go for a single guy who was interested in girls." She smiled sympathetically at him.

"Ha! My plan worked! Girls do get turned off when they learn Mustang's sexual preference!"

Sigh.

oneshot

A/N: Ah! haha..ha...ha... Yeah, it was pretty random. But, oh em gee! I did a story! Er, what do you guys think? Just a quick "good, bad, alright" review would make me happy. A review with more than 5 words would make me happy too. Thank you for reading.