Disclaimer: If I owned Fruits Basket, I wouldn't be writing this, would I?

The Joys of Driving

"No!" Hatori said insistently when a random worker at the Sohma hospital reminded him that he had to give lessons to Yuki and Kyo that day. "No, never again! I won't do it, I say! No one can make me!"

The worker, eyeing him strangely, backed away. It was unlike the doctor to be so… expressive. Although, considering the state of his car, who could blame him?

"I'll call Shigure-sama and tell him that the lessons are off them shall I?" she said demurely.

"Yes," Hatori said emphatically. "The lessons are most definitely off."

---

"Alright… okay… I understand. Bye!" Shigure chirped, and hung up the phone.

"So? Is Hatori coming over or not?" Kyo grumbled. He and Yuki, though loathe to be within three miles of each other, were waiting anxiously only twenty feet apart.

"Not," Shigure answered. "He seems to think that any more driving lessons, and we'll be thinking up witty inscriptions for his tombstone. As it is, we apparently owe him a new car."

"We being…"

"Everyone!"

"Aaannnd how, exactly, are we going to buy Hatori a new car?" drawled Yuki. "Neither that stupid cat over there – "

"Hey!"

" – nor I have done anything to it, and we have no income, either."

"Well, I don't know." Shigure shrugged. "Maybe if we all chip in, we'll be able to afford it for a Christmas present next year!"

Kyo rolled his eyes, mumbled something about this conversation being beneath him, and walked away.

"If Hatori quits," Yuki ventured, almost afraid of the answer, "who is going to teach us how to drive?"

"I'm sure Ayame would be more than happy to teach you!" The writer beamed at the expression of horror that dawned over Yuki's face.

---

"OH, MY DARLING LITTLE BROTHER, HOW GLAD I AM THAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO LEARN THE ART OF DRIVING UNDER MY TUTELEGE! Just think of the things you will learn! I am the best of drivers, never fear!"

"Yeah, yeah," Yuki mumbled.

"Now, do exactly as I say, and nothing more. Turn the key. Good! You're a natural, brother! Grip the steering wheel, like so. No, a little more to the top… Yes, that's right. Feel free to let go if you feel confident enough. Shift the little stick thing to 'Drive.' You'll have your license in no time! Now, push the gas pedal down as hard as you can!"

"I'm not sure I'm supposed to – "

"What did I say? I'm the teacher here, after all!" Ayame clucked in a sickeningly patronizing voice.

"Okay… if you say so…"

Yuki pressed down the gas pedal until it touched the floor.

But that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

And very ugly worms they are, too.

Oh, the joys of driving…

End.