Okay I don't own Eragon…or do I? jk.

One day, Galbatorix was board. So he told his shade Durza,

"Hey yo, can ya get me some elves? They're always fun to play with."

"Sure, but pleaseeee, never where those pajamas again." Durza replied, referring to Galbatorix's pink Barbie pajamas that cut off at the knee. Just the Galbatorix's evil black dragon came up. He was so scary. He was wearing a matching pink dragon armor.

"You got a problem with pink, punk?" He asked in his high squeaky voice, "Obob botskipee." And suddenly, Durza's clothes were pink. He frantically searched for some clothes that weren't pink, because he wanted to impress Arya on their date. But Galbatorix, as punishment for not keeping the dragon egg, put all Durza's white clothes in with a red shirt. And now everything was pink!

"Go now!"

"Yes milord."

Meanwhile, a group of elves were skipping down the path. One was a weak elf with brown hair and blonde stripes. He was the Emo one. One was overly buff. He was so buff, his muscles looked like fat. He was wearing a pink tutu and a bra. He wasn't gay, he was just the Cross-dressing one. And in between them, a super fat elf skipped. She was wearing baggy pants and a loose fitting shirt. She was the Tom-boy one. And together, they were better known as the Back Street Boys! They started singing. All the creatures around them started dying because they couldn't take it anymore.

Suddenly, in a puff of black smoke, there appeared twenty shadowy creatures with orange horns. In the center was a shade. He was dressed in all pink and his hair was pink.

The fat elf asked, "Dude, why's your hair pink?"

"What?" said the shade. He pulled out a mirror he kept with him constently, looked at his hair and screamed, "Damn dragon! He went and dyed my hair pink!"

The cross dresser said, "I think it looks awesome."

"Really?"

"No."

Durza started crying and said between sobs said, "Get(sob)(sob) them!(sob)(sob)( sob)(sob)( sob)(sob)."

The three started singing and one by one the Urgals dropped dead. The Emo and Cross-dresser accidentally killed themselves with their own voices. Arya ran. The shade was right behind her.

"Don't move! Or you'll never see the coffee bean again." She said, pulling out a large, blue coffee bean and holding it near her mouth.

"That's not a coffee bean! That's a dragon egg!"

"Dang it!" Arya said. "The guy promised it was a coffee bean! Oh well. Kisth-opi-toi." And a flash of blue light transported it ten inches. "Opps, wrong spell. Kcus-ouy" AAnd this time, it went about 1,000 leagues where a god named Eragon lived.

"What's this?" Said the god in his divine voice. "A coffee bean? Just what I needed. I was out."

The "coffee bean," cracked open and out came a blue dragon. "No not a coffee bean, you idiot! Ride me! You're in danger." And it suddenly was a million times larger.

He swung onto its back. An icy sensation ran from his but, through the rest of his body. He yelped like a little dog. "Did I sit on ice?"

"No, you have the gedwey ignasia on your ass now. You were supposed to have it on your hand… oh well."

"Okay then."

They took off and flew to the field where Arya was. Eragon jumped off and started falling toward the field. Durza noticed Eragon's shadow was covering him and ran to get out of the way. The shadow followed! He ran all over the place, but no matter where he fled to, the shadow followed. Eragon smashed into him and he died.

Then, a dwarf ran up to him and yelled, "Long live Eragon, Shade crusher, Silver butt, son of…." To be continued.