Notes: been working on this for far too long but I finally got around to finishing it. Thanks go to the usual people for helping proof-read and pitch in ideas. I realize this will probably make people want more, but at the same time hopefully provides more closure. I've got to admit it feels weird writing something that isn't smut for a change. Feel free to find me on twitter at:

evalemonmaster

There's also a Discord server (warning LOTS of NSFW things there): /ZcjwtsX

Also, someone was nice enough to make a TV Tropes page for this story, and it's actually very accurate. Thanks to whoever took the time to do it. You rock, anon. If you want to check it out:

/FanFic/NeonGenesisEvangelionGenocide

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Genocide:

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." -Gautama Buddha

Epilogue / Haven

The Pacific Northwest stretched out beyond the airplane window as a thick blanket of green with only a narrow strip of flooded wetlands between it and the wide blue ocean. A large mountain range loomed in the distance, the highest peaks capped by white tips of snow.

Hikari Horaki had never been to the United States, but she hadn't thought it would look like this. When she imagined it she saw huge cities crowded with buildings and people and stifled by an impenetrable layer of smog as if the whole country was nothing more than a giant polluted metropolis. But this was different. This was beautiful.

"Hey!"

Hikari heard Toji complain, but it wasn't until she felt the cold plastic of the window on her forehead that she realized she was leaning all the way across him. She turned her head and gave him a grin. "Be quiet, you."

"Didn't I offer ya the window seat?" Toji said, shrugging his large shoulders. "What was that ya said? 'No, I don't wanna feel cramped'. Who's cramped now?"

Hikari ignored him. He had offered, and she had refused. That was neither here nor there. She hadn't wanted to look then. Toji knew better than to argue. He leaned forward and both of them peered at the scenery together, their cheeks touching. Without noticing, her hand moved on top of his. She had gotten used to having him so close; to the quips and not-really-complaining complaints. That sort of thing tended to happen with boyfriends.

Hikari felt a tug of grief at that. So many people had died, and there was a time when she didn't know if she would ever see any of her loved ones again. Toji had not been in Tokyo-3 during the attack and his family had already moved out of the city by the time it was destroyed. But Hikari had been right at Ground Zero. She had seen it first hand - had smelled it and tasted it - and then spent a month in government custody, along with her classmates, answering questions and denying any involvement with NERV, the Evangelions or the whereabouts of the pilots.

She would never be the same. None of them would. Every day had been full of fear and uncertainty. She was moved from one facility to another without being allowed to see her friends or family. Her own questions went unanswered. She was a prisoner, except, of course, that prisoners had rights. Not her.

She didn't know why they had released her. One day they simply took her out, paid for her bus pass and left her in the custody of her father. She went back to the world a sullen, withdrawn girl. She didn't like strangers anymore, and even her sisters had noted that she didn't volunteer for anything after she had finally gone back to school in Kyoto. All of it felt like a bad dream. Her life became a sequence of events that had to be followed rather than lived. More than once she had thought about suicide, and more than once she had failed to find the courage and burst into tears.

Coward. She was such a coward. Asuka and Shinji and everyone else had fought, but she did nothing.

She had reached her lowest point when Toji found her.

It had been so long since she had felt happiness that Hikari didn't know how to react. When he put his arms around her she broke down and cried.

"It's going to be alright, Hikari," he told her.

And she believed him.

She was still staring out the window as an electronic ping brought her out of her reverie. Looking up, she saw that the 'fasten seatbelt' sign had lit up. A moment later a male flight attendant in a pristine blue uniform came by the aisle and announced that they had begun the descent into New Tacoma International. Reluctantly, Hikari returned to her seat and buckled her seatbelt. Toji did the same, though he had some trouble with the buckle until Hikari helped him.

"Thanks," he said, with an embarrassed smile.

A few minutes later the plane touched down with a loud roar and squeak of tires on the tarmac. Hikari felt lightheaded for a short moment and took a deep breath. Toji squeezed her hand.

As the plane came to a stop on the jet way, the seatbelt sign turned off and the passengers began disembarking from the plane. Hikari moved to the edge of the aisle and stood up on rubbery legs, placing a hand on the backrest in front of her to steady herself. It would be hot and humid in Washington state this time of the year, so she wore a pair of white Capri shorts and a teal sleeveless blouse. Her brown hair was done in the pigtails she had always worn in school; for once she wanted to be recognized.

Toji moved out behind her with surprising ease despite his injuries. He wore a pair of khaki shorts that exposed most of his prosthetic leg, a costly and permanent reminder of his short stint as the test pilot of Eva Unit-03, and a soccer jersey from some team she didn't recognize. It had taken months of rehabilitation to get used to the leg, but now it seemed to have become part of him. That he didn't try to hide it filled Hikari with pride. He never talked about Unit-03, however. She could only imagine how horrible that must have been.

Eva breaks everyone it touches, Hikari thought. Just like Asuka and Shinji.

Not for the first time she wondered what she was doing here. It had been almost three years since she last saw the other Eva pilots, her former classmates, and while she knew they were alive she dreaded to think what sort of trauma they had sustained during their final battles. How had they changed? Was there even anything left of her friends? Asuka, in particular, worried her.

Toji noticed her hesitation. "You okay?" he asked, as he reached up to retrieve carry-ons from the overhead compartment above their seats.

"Yeah, I just …" Hikari shook her head. "Nothing. I'm just being stupid."

"Well, ya'r goin' to hold everyone up if ya just stand there thinkin' 'bout stuff," he grumbled.

He must have been worried, too, Hikari thought. He hadn't seen Shinji in years, not since he was being torn apart inside Unit-03. What would they even say to each other?

What would she say to Asuka?

Biting back her doubts, Hikari retrieved her bag, slung it over her shoulder and joined the exit queue at the front of the plane. Toji walked behind her, limping noticeably due to his leg, but he cradled the carry-on in his arms as if it weighed nothing. Hikari shot him a scowl; the carry-on had wheels, he could have just rolled it down the aisle.

They exited the plane and climbed up the jet way ramp into the terminal. Like the airplane, the terminal was crowded, more so than Hikari expected. They walked down the wide, long hall filled with numbered gates, waiting areas full of people and shops. The crowd only grew thicker as they reached the customs checkpoint at the end. The line moved slowly, and once at the front the agent checked and re-checked their passports and carefully went over their special diplomatic visas, one of the many favors Hikari owed Misato Katsuragi.

The former NERV Major was now working as some kind of consultant for the American government. Hikari didn't understand all the intrigues of foreign policy and she didn't want to. All she knew was that Miss Katsuragi - calling her Misato was not proper no matter how much the woman insisted - was a friend.

It took almost an hour, but finally the customs agent stamped their passports and waved them through.

Another hall, more shops and more walking followed. As they made their way to the end, Hikari spotted a brunette girl standing by one of the duty-free kiosks that sold magazines. She was slender, with brown eyes and curly brown hair tied in a pony tail. Her face was pretty yet plain by Japanese standards, and she would have been completely unremarkable if not for the aluminum crutch tucked under her arm. Hikari recognized her at once.

"Keiko!"

Keiko turned, leaning heavily on her crutch. She saw Hikari and her face blossomed into a smile. "Hikari-san?"

Hikari covered the distance between them in a rush, feeling suddenly so relieved to see a familiar face, but as she went to hug her she hesitated. "Um, is it okay?"

Keiko looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Hikari looked down at the crutch that helped Keiko stand. The brunette wore a pair of blue jeans, but it was not enough to hide the chunk missing from her thigh. Hikari knew what had happened to her, but after that incident she'd never seen her again. Like Toji's injuries, Keiko's were a stark reminder of what her involvement with Eva had cost her.

"I mean, are you … okay?" the former Class Rep. said sheepishly.

"Yeah." Keiko shifted her weight a little. "My leg healed a while back. I wouldn't mind if you want to hug me."

So Hikari did.

Toji had kept his distance until then, but seeing them hug seemed to act as his cue to get closer. "Hey, not so tight. You'll make me jealous."

Hikari saw him and pulled away slightly. "Keiko, you remember Toji Suzahara, right?"

"I remember you used to yell at him all the time," Keiko said.

"She still does. More now than before, actually," Toiji added, making Keiko laugh.

Hikari gave him a slap on the shoulder. "You are still as dumb as you were back then. If yelling is the only way to set you straight, then I'll yell 'till you listen to me."

"Fat chance," Toiji replied, turning his head back to Keiko. "Hey, by the way, how come ya'r here? Wasn't the devil supposed to meet us?"

Keiko was lost. She frowned. "Who?"

"He means Asuka." Hikari slapped his shoulder again.

"Oh, right." Keiko blinked and leaned on her crutch. "She's outside arguing with the parking attendant. Something about not wanting to let him take her car. I came up ahead. You got any luggage? You probably want to go get that. There's also arrangements for a shuttle."

"A shuttle?" Toji sounded puzzled. "Didn't you say Asuka brought her car?"

"Her car, yes. You can't fit groceries in it, let alone four people and suitcases," Keiko clarified. "Anyway, I will show you to the shuttle desk. Fuuka-sama made the arrangements, you just need to sign."

It was another half-hour before they picked up the luggage and saw to the shuttle arrangements. Hikari did the signing and Toji did the complaining, per usual, even after finding out they were also assigned a driver.

"But I know how to drive," he said with exaggerated outrage .

"You know how to crash," was Hikari's response.

As they exited the terminal building into a wall of humid air, Hikari heard a voice she thought she would never hear again. It was high-pitched and grating, and yet so comforting it made her stomach flutter. She sought out its source and quickly found a young orange-red haired girl hotly engaged in a yelling match with a man in a blue uniform by the curb.

Asuka had grown taller, but otherwise changed little. Her hair was pinned up by two star-shaped clips instead of the pointed headset Hikari remembered and swished around her shoulders as she gesticulated wildly to the man she was arguing with. A flush made her smooth cheeks almost more pink than the sleeveless top she wore, which was complemented by an extremely short red skirt that showed way too much leg and white sandals on her feet. Judging by how agitated she seemed, she had more than likely been at this for quite a while.

"I'm telling you," Hikari heard Asuka shouting in English, "I'm not moving it!"

"And I'm telling you, lady, that you can't park here," the attendant answered back. "I've been telling you for the last hour. I don't care who you are. If it's that important, give it to the valet."

"I'm not letting anyone drive this car. I know you people love to go joyriding. And don't call me lady like I'm some old woman!"

"Oh, my mistake," the attendant replied loudly. His own face was quite red. "Clearly you are no lady."

Having come so far and waited so long, Hikari suddenly wasn't sure what she wanted to say. Asuka was her friend - her best friend - someone she thought had died and she would never see again. And now that she was standing there …

Toji sighed besides her, shaking his head. "Looks like she's the same old loudmouth. Can't understand a word she's saying, though."

That was his fault; unlike Hikari, he'd never taken the time to learn English in school.

Asuka turned to the sound of his voice and her bright blue eyes found them. "Monkey boy?" she said in Japanese, frowning at Toji, but then she saw Hikari and smiled. Her frown vanished and her stiff posture relaxed. "Hikari …"

That was all it took. The former Class Rep. barely had time to clasp a hand over her mouth before the tears started to roll down her cheeks. Toji grabbed her shoulder and squeezed, for once silent. Then Asuka was there. Hikari never saw her step away from the argument and walk up to her, not until she was inches from her. She felt so stupid for crying now and half expected her friend to chide her for it. But as she had many times before, Asuka shattered those expectations.

"It's not so bad, is it?" Asuka raised a hand and gently wiped Hikari's cheeks. Her soft tone was almost impossible to comprehend. In Hikari's mind Asuka had always been hard and sharp like glass. Never soft. "You should be happy."

"I am," Hikari felt her voice tremble. "I thought … after what happened … the whole city … Asuka, I …"

"You can hug her if you want, too," Keiko put in. "She doesn't hate that as much as she claims."

Hikari tried to bite back a sob as she put her arms firmly around Asuka and pressed her head against the other girl's shoulder.

"I know what it feels like," Asuka said after a moment, before returning the hug. "I know what it feels like to think you will never see someone again. If I had thought things would turn out the way they did that day … if I had known, I might have told you …" Her hug grew tighter. "I'm sorry, Hikari. I'm sorry I was such a horrible friend to you."

"Y-you weren't …" that was all Hikari could say.

"Don't lie. I know what I was. What I am." Finally, Asuka pulled away, and as she did Hikari looked up into her eyes. "You deserved better than me. But I guess saying that is a bit pointless now. We really burned the hell out of that bridge."

Hikari nodded, feeling a bit lost, but despite the surge of emotion she realized Asuka was right. Their past was gone and dead and far too painful. It hung around them like a shadow, and like a shadow it would never leave them. A shadow was not a person, however. It was not an actual thing. It wasn't anything at all. And it couldn't hold you back if you were determined to move ahead.

When she looked into Asuka's eyes she knew that her friend had decided to do just that. Hikari wiped off the last of her tears.

"So … um …" Toji muttered somewhere behind her. Hikari turned her head. "It's been a while."

Asuka pressed her mouth together, her eyes narrowed. "I guess. It's not like I missed you or anything. Last I saw you, you were getting your butt whooped by Unit-01."

Even for Hikari, who was more inclined than most to tolerate Asuka's jabs, that was a bit much. She didn't get a chance to intervene. Toji had an answer ready.

"That's harsh, Red. But at least I didn't get my brain fried by my virtual boyfriend."

"It wasn't my boyfriend!" Asuka snapped. Her lips drew back, showing her teeth. "Who told you about that?"

"Katsuragi," Toji replied, as if that one word explained everything. Which it kind of did. It turned out that while Misato Katsuragi could hold her liquor, she couldn't hold both her tongue and her liquor at the same time.

Asuka snorted. "You got her drunk, I'm guessing. She's the worst." Then she signed. "Well, whatever. I hope you don't expect to ride in my car. It's a monkey-free zone. I just had it washed, too. I don't want you to get it all stinky."

"I don't stink!" Toji blurted out. This time his outrage was very much real, and it showed on his red face.

"All monkeys stink. You can ride the shuttle with Keiko. She's always wanted a pet." Asuka turned to Hikari. "You can come with me."

Leaning on her crutch, the brunette girl moved forward, placing herself between Toji and Asuka. "It's not true," she told Toji with a slight flush of embarrassment on her face. "About the pet. They can go on ahead. We'll wait for the shuttle."

Hikari exchanged a look with Toji then shrugged. They hadn't really planned on splitting up, but it seemed Asuka had different plans and they were both well aware of the futility of arguing with her. Besides being alone would give them a chance to talk-there was so much to ask that Hikari could hardly imagine where to start.

The car was more or less exactly what Hikari expected from someone like Asuka-a red sports car with sharp lines and a price tag probably larger than Hikari's family home back in Japan. Asuka swung the door open for her and she slipped in, her backside barely 4 inches from the ground. The redhead quickly took the driver's seat, but there were no keys. She pressed a single button by the steering wheel and the engine roared to life. Hikari felt it vibrate through her body, a sensation which only increased once Asuka put the car in gear.

They were off, rolling down the road between the airport and the nearest highway on ramp, with huge green trees on either side. Once on the highway, however, the trees gave way to a large open areas, revealing towering mountains in the background and a large sprawling city behind them. The mountains reminded Hikari of Japan, oddly enough.

Asuka seemed to have been waiting for Hikari to talk, but after a while she sighed. "You've never been to the US before?"

Hikari shook her head. "No."

"You are in luck. The weather here is not usually this nice."

"Lucky me," Hikari said.

Asuka kept her eyes on the road, both hands on the steering wheel. The car did not have a stick, but rather a set of paddles she could reach with her fingers. The road around them was completely empty.

"You know, I meant what I said before," the redhead spoke again after a short while. "I am sorry."

"You don't have to be, Asuka," Hikari said. "There was so much going on … I'm just happy you guys are alright."

"We are exiles, Hikari," Asuka sounded sullen when she said that. "We ran away and can never go back home. Everything we had … everyone we knew …"

"But you are alive. That counts for something. And Major Katsuragi is in Japan trying to work on a deal, isn't she? I'm sure you can go back and visit soon."

"She's not a Major anymore," Asuka pointed out. Then she glanced at Hikari with a raised eyebrow. "And really, a deal? Even if something like that were possible we would never be able to trust them. Going back would always be a risk."

They had been on the road for another five minutes before the former Class Representative noticed the twin black cars now following them. Their windows were completely tinted so it was impossible to see their occupants. Hikari didn't like their presence.

"Asuka …" she started.

"Bodyguards," her friend explained. "They follow us everywhere. You didn't think they'd let us do whatever we want, right?"

"No, I guess not," Hikari said. "I wouldn't think there's anything to worry about here, though."

"You'd be wrong."

They drove another ten minutes before Asuka turned the car into an exit, then followed a much narrower road. The trees were back, rising on either side of them like tall, foreboding sentinels clad in thick green armor. Both black cars followed, but keeping their distance. Eventually they turned on to an even more remote stretch of road, taking an unmarked exit into a patch of thick woodland and headed uphill. Sunlight was almost completely blocked by the branches and leaves stretching overhead.

Then they came upon a gate, its heavy metal bars blocking the way. On the right Hikari saw a guardhouse with two men inside, clad in black suits and holding rifles. A fence stretched into the woods on either side of the gate, giving the impression that the whole area was sealed off.

Asuka brought the car to a stop by the guardhouse. By then one of the men had stepped out. She rolled down the window and offered a hand. The guard, rifle slung across his shoulders, ran a small device over Asuka's slender wrist. Hikari heard a beep. Then he looked into the car, saw Hikari and looked at the device once again.

"She has been approved," Asuka said.

"Indeed," the guard confirmed. "S. Asuka Langley, plus Hikari Horaki and Toji Suzahara." He frowned. "Why is she not in the shuttle?"

"She's my friend. I decided to bring her myself."

"That's not in the protocol," the guard answered, and for a moment Hikari feared she would be denied entry.

"Screw the protocol, Saburo, you know it's me," Asuka snapped, looking annoyed, her voice acquiring that whiny tone Hikari had become so familiar with in school.

The guard pressed his lips together. "Wish I didn't. My crotch still hurts from when you kicked it all those years ago."

"You shouldn't have been on top of me like that. Now can we go through?"

"Yes, fine. I guess having all that peace and quiet around here couldn't last." The guard straightened up. He reached into his suit pocket then held a hand over his right ear. "Hey, checkpoint 1 here. The Princess is back and she has a guest. Better open up before she makes a fuss."

Within seconds the gate began sliding open. Once it was done and the road cleared, the black cars had come up, and behind them the shuttle carrying the rest of their party. Behind them came another black car, a veritable parade of vehicles.

"I … I think we better go through," Hikari suggested. "We don't want to hold everyone up."

Asuka remained silent, but she drove the car forward and was soon followed by the others. The checkpoint vanished when she took the next corner and came upon a residential street that would not have seemed out of place in any number of suburban housing developments-if not for the fact that this one was completely fenced in and guarded by armed men. Everything was so absurdly clean it made even a clean-freak like Hikari feel weird. The houses were perfectly painted in matching pastel tones, their roofs slanted, driveways clear, mailboxes labeled with numbers, their large lawns cut and manicured and showing such a uniform green color that it couldn't possibly be natural.

It's like they live in a bubble, Hikari thought. Not the real world.

There were at least three dozen houses, all built from the same blueprints apparently. The only variation came in their color. They were large, with two stories and a garage attached to the left side. The yards were separated by low bushes as perfectly trimmed as the lawns. Behind the houses, the forest extended in tall, thick trees, creating a sort of barrier which hid the fence Hikari knew had to be there somewhere.

Asuka drove off a small roundabout at the end of a block and came up to one of these houses, completely indistinct from the many others except for the fact that the garage door was open. Hikari also noticed there was an armed guard standing by the front door.

The garage was large enough to accommodate the red sports car and another more modest green four-door sedan parked beside it. Other than the two vehicles, the space was completely empty. Asuka brought the car to a stop and engaged the parking brake.

"Here we are," Asuka said, "home sweet home."

As they exited the car, the shuttle came up behind it, staying on the driveway just outside the garage. From it emerged Toji, Keiko and a short woman Hikari didn't recognize. She was also dressed in a suit, complete with a tie and sunglasses. A second guard appeared out of nowhere. Their luggage was unloaded with help from the driver, a tall man in some kind of military uniform, and carried inside the house through the garage.

"That's quite a lot of security, doncha think?" Toji said, approaching Hikari's side. She nodded.

"You get used to it," Keiko said, hobbling along.

"You know how Japanese are so fastidious about things like drinking tea, or calligraphy, or literally anything?" Asuka ventured, brushing hair off her shoulders. "Well, Americans are like that when it comes to national security. We'd be living inside an underground bunker if not for Misato. It's a miracle we are allowed to go to school."

Now there was something Hikari could find interest in. "You are going to school?"

"Shinji is," Asuka said, then pointed towards Keiko. "And Crybaby over there."

Keiko responded by flashing them a V sign with her fingers. "I graduate next year. Learning English was a pain, though. I can barely keep up."

"They each have to be escorted," Asuka pointed out. "I'm enrolled too, so sometimes I will tag along-I don't like staying home alone all day. But it's not like I have to. It's not really a school anyway. When Shinji goes to college, I will move in with him to be around, but I won't be taking classes. Honestly, I've had enough schooling to last me a lifetime."

"Sometimes?" Keiko said, giggling. "She's not fooling you, is she? Literally whenever Shinji goes, she goes. Sure, we need escorts but that can't be helped. And you should see her in uniform. I've got pictures!"

"D-don't you dare show her those!" Asuka flushed. She turned up her nose. "Anyway, let's stop wasting time. The food's probably ready. Shinji's cooking."

Toji was incensed. "You make the Shin-man cook for you? Don't you have any shame? Does he do your laundry as well?"

"I don't make him, monkey-boy," Asuka replied, glaring at him. "He likes cooking."

"Probably not as much as he likes washing your panties."

Asuka was ready to jump, hands flying wildly as her face became even redder. Keiko had a good chuckle, but Hikari quickly placed herself between the feuding teenagers. "Guys, guys come on now. We all need to behave." Yet even her best efforts were not having much of an effect.

"Monkey-boy, I bet you don't even know what a girl's panties look like!" Asuka squacked.

"Course I do, you were always flashing yours during gym class!" Toji retorted, sticking out his tongue.

"Guys!" Hikari whined.

It was around this time that the short woman who'd ridden in the shuttle with Toji and Keiko approached them. "Everyone, let's move inside."

Her tone was pleasant enough, but as soon as she spoke Asuka immediately stopped her tantrum and offered the woman a resentful look. Then she bit her lip and her gaze dropped to the floor. Hikari found the behavior strange-she'd never known anyone who could shut Asuka up so easily. The woman was evidently some authority figure and while the statement did not sound like an order, Asuka's reaction indicated it might as well have been. Toji, finding that he now had no one he could argue with, also went quiet.

"Yes, Fuuka-sama," it was Keiko who spoke, and it was Keiko who led them inside, climbing the three steps leading from the garage into the house with the aid of her crutch. The short woman closed the door behind them.

The garage connected into a small hallway leading into a large living room. Before taking more than two steps, Hikari was already stooping to remove her shoes. It was only after she had that she noticed there was no place to leave them.

"Um …" she looked around, shoes in hand, confused, "where do I put these?"

The floor was hardwood, cool thanks to the airconditioning despite the blazing sun outside.

"Put them by the couch if you want," Asuka flicked a finger towards what appeared to be an expensive leather sofa. "Removing your shoes is not really a cultural thing here."

Cultural thing or not, both Toji and Keiko followed in Hikari's lead, taking their shoes off and leaving them by the couch. The living room had a high ceiling with an elaborate stairway on the north side and huge windows on the east side. The furniture all appeared very expensive, complemented by a fireplace above which hung an enormous flat screen TV. Hikari had just set her shoes down and got up again when she caught a movement out of the corners of her eyes. When she turned she saw a familiar brown-haired boy standing under a doorway to the left, clad in a blue shorts, a white shirt and a pink apron. His eyes were blue and full of a kind of endearing sadness that naturally made girls like her want to comfort him.

"Ah," Shinji Ikari said upon seeing his friends, "Good afternoon, everyone."

"G-good afterno-" Hikari started, but never got a chance to finish.

"Come on, man! Why so formal!" Toji jumped in, crossing the space between him and Shinji in an instant and wrapping the smaller boy in a hug. "Haven't seen you in forever! You know since you kicked my ass."

"I … wasn't …" Shinji's head turned red, but he averted his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you even start with that, dude. I know it wasn't your fault." Toji hugged him just a little bit longer, before letting his friend go. "It's alright, I know you were going through a lot of crap back then."

Hikari moved in, bowed her head. "Thank you for your hospitality."

"It-it's nothing," Shinji said. "This place is so big just for the two of us so I'm sure you will be comfortable."

Toji raised an eyebrow, then glanced at Asuka. "Just the two of ya, eh? Sohryu, what have you been doing with my boy here?"

Asuka's face turned pink again, but this time she huffed rather than being baited into another argument, made no reply and marched towards the stairs. She was at the top, hair flying behind her, when Shinji gestured for them to head into the kitchen.

"Oh, that's right," said Toji, "you are cooking."

"Well," Shinji replied softly, "sort of."

They entered the kitchen and found it crowded with gleaming appliances, including a large refrigerator bigger than any Hikari had ever seen, an infrared cooking range, dishwasher and marble countertops. The biggest discovery, however, was a slender girl with pale white skin. Her hair was longer than Hikari remembered, now brushing past her shoulders and tickling the base of her neck. She wore a white dress with yellow accents along the hem. She was standing by the stove, looking over a pot of bubbling something, one hand stirring a spoon and the other holding up a book.

Only when they had all gone into the kitchen, did Rei Ayanami seemed to notice she was no longer alone. She turned her head, but didn't bow. Her face remained neutral.

"Welcome," Rei's voice was as soft as ever, her red eyes surreal on that pale, pretty face.

"Ayanami, good afternoon," Hikari said.

"Hey, Blue. It's been a while," Toji greeted, waving his hand.

Keiko moved around both of them, her crutch making a steady clicking noise. Rei's attention instantly shifted onto the brunette. "Are you tired?" she asked.

"No, I'm fine," Keiko said, then hugged Rei. With her hands full, Rei couldn't return the gesture properly. Even so, she made no effort to move back or rebuff the girl. Her face changed as well, shifting into a gentle expression, her lips curving up into a smile.

Hikari couldn't remember ever seeing Rei Ayanami smile. Not once in all the time they'd gone to school together, and certainly not while being hugged so closely by another girl-a behavior that would have been deemed scandalous if it happened in class. She wanted to ask what that was about, but decided it was none of her business. Instead she turned her attention to the stove. "Ah, it's Rei doing the cooking?"

"Not quite," Shinji moved in between them, taking the wooden spoon the albino girl had been using and stirring. "I've been trying to teach her, and she's been helping a lot. But … well, she doesn't quite have things nailed down yet."

Keiko had peeled herself off Rei's shoulders now, and glanced bemusedly at Hikari and Toji. "She's an even worse cook than Asuka."

"And that's saying something," came a shrill voice just before Asuka strode into the kitchen. She'd changed into a pink dress shorter than Rei's with frills along the hem and shoulder straps. Her hair was down, cascading like a sheet of flowing fire around her shoulders and down her back. "Come on, I'll show you the guest bedroom. Leave the cooks to their pots."

Bare feet padding softly as she walked, the redheaded girl reached the back wall and slid open a double wide partition, revealing an adjoining dining room complete with a heavy wooden table and 8 chairs. Hikari and Toji followed, after the Class Representative had bowed and excused herself to Shinji and Rei. Asuka led them across and then to another hallway. On the left the hall led into small space which acted as a laundry, and on the right, through yet another door, was a bedroom, larger than Hikari's own bedroom at home, with windows overlooking the backyard and the forest beyond. Unlike the living room and kitchen, the room was carpeted. Their suitcases were already waiting for them on the bed.

"Um, A-Asuka …" Hikari muttered, feeling embarrassed. "There's only one bed."

"What? Aren't monkey-boy and you used to sharing?" Asuka teased. "You afraid he'll sneak up on you in the night?"

"I'm not suicidal," Toji pointed out. "I know how to keep my hands to myself."

Asuka folded her arms across her chest. "I doubt it."

"It-it's fine, I was just surprised," Hikari said and began moving around the room. It was nothing fancy, but large enough to accommodate them very comfortably. The curtains were drawn back, which allowed a lot of light to come in and permitted an unimpeded view to the treeline outside. And, if you paid close attention, you could also see the hidden fence.

Hikari knew then that her first assumption had been correct. The fence went all around this area, even if they couldn't see it. There were likely multiple checkpoints on the perimeter, and no way in or out without permission.

"This is ... nice," Hikari added, peering through the window and hoping her sudden unease didn't show. Then she glanced back at Asuka. "They picked a nice place for you guys. You are lucky."

Asuka nodded and tried to smile, but there was no happiness behind the gesture, and her eyes were full of something else. Hikari realized that her friend really did understand the reality of their situation as well as she did. Even a golden cage was still a cage.

Then Asuka turned to Toji, hands on her hips.

"Suzahara, can you leave us alone for a moment?" the redhead said, in a flat, serious tone that made it clear refusal was not really an option. Still, Toji glanced at Hikari for a moment. The former Class Representative nodded. She wasn't surprised Asuka wished for privacy between them.

"I'll be in the kitchen. Maybe Shin-man needs help," the tanned young man stated and excused himself.

Hikari waited for Toji to close the door behind him, but just as she was about to ask Asuka what was wrong, the redhead spoke up.

"Nagara is wrong," she said. "You don't get used to it."

"At least you know you are safe here," Hikari replied.

"It could be worse, I guess." Letting her shoulders sag visibly, Asuka took a seat on the edge of the bed. "When they got what they wanted from us they could have sent us back. We would have been put in front of a firing squad."

The former Class Representative felt something go tight in her chest.

"You don't know that," Hikari said. She gestured to herself and the door Toji had exited through just a few seconds before. "I mean, we weren't. Killing children is not something they can easily explain."

"You were never involved with NERV," Asuka explained, shaking her head. "And Suzahara … he's just a dumb idiot who got hurt the one time he tried piloting Eva. But Shinji and I … I don't know. And Rei … they will want Rei. They know who we are. What we are."

Hikari was surprised. She moved away from the window and sat on the bed beside Asuka. For a moment she thought about reaching out and taking her hand, but then remembered Asuka was very sensitive to being touched.

"Children, that's what you are," Hikari said.

"Weapons," Asuka corrected. "That's what the whole world thinks we are." She waved her hands across the room. "And this, this whole thing might as well be a missile silo. But we are weapons that can't be fired. That means the only thing we are really good for is leverage."

"I thought Major-I mean, Katsuragi-san was working on getting you immunity so you could go back home?"

"Home?" Asuka gave a humorless chuckle. "What home? There's nothing to go back to. Everything was destroyed. I know some of the NERV staff hasn't even been released yet. After all this time … "

"That doesn't mean there can't be an agreement," Hikari said. "They did let some of us go. Sure, after a while, but-"

"I saw them kill someone," Asuka interrupted, her eyes blazing blue fires as she focused them on Hikari. "Right in front of me, in cold blood. How can we trust people like that?" She took a deep breath, then seemed to deflate. "Staying here, thought … being watched. Escorted everywhere. Unable to have a life."

"But you are safe."

Rather than reply, Asuka extended her arm and turned over her wrist. "Look."

Hikari bent her head down and noticed a large dimpled spot on the wrist. It resembled the mark of a needle, only much larger. She didn't understand.

"What is it?"

"A chip," Asuka said, suddenly sounding angry. "They tagged us. Everywhere we go, we are tracked, even when we are not escorted. The first time they gave me one of these, I cut it out. They made it clear that without it we wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere. We'd be little more than prisoners. Misato was pissed, but there wasn't really anything she could do about it. I had to let them put it in again if I wanted any freedom at all. The others have one too. Even Rei. They gave her four of them, but none ever worked." She scoffed. "Idiots. Rei isn't like us."

Hikari remembered how Asuka's wrist had been scanned at the gate. She was almost afraid to ask her next question.

"They don't … treat you badly, right?" she said, choosing her words carefully.

"No. We are treated very well. It's not like they beat us or anything, and all our needs are provided for. But you don't have to beat your dog to keep it in a cage. I don't know which option is worse, staying here or going back, but I'm not dumb enough to think this is how I want to live the rest of my life."

Hikari wasn't really sure what to say.

"It can't be that bad if they allowed us to come," she pointed out. "Both the Japanese and the American governments agreed to that. And if you do go back, there will be so much press around you that not even the government will dare hurt you. There would be hell if they did."

"I want to believe that," Asuka said. "But I can't. If it were just me, I wouldn't care. I would just face whatever comes at me like I always did before. It's not just me anymore, though." Her hand twitched towards her stomach. "If I were alone, it'd be different. But I'm … not alone."

"Is Shinji worried about going back?" Hikari asked.

"Not as much as I am," Asuka answered. "He doesn't know what I know. I'm glad you are here. I …"

There was a knock on the door. Asuka gave a small jump, but raised her head and said, "Come in."

As the door swung open it reveleaved Rei standing on the other side.

"Shinji says the food will be ready soon and would like you to help me set the table," the blue haired girl said. "Would you help, Asuka?"

Asuka sighed, but in the end nodded and pushed herself onto her feet. "Yes, yes. I'm coming."

"Wait!" Hikari called out, getting up. "When … Ayanami, I don't think I have ever heard you call either of them by their first names. You must all have gotten very close, right?"

"It is very common here to use people's first names," Rei said. "But you are not incorrect. We have spent a lot of time together."

Hikari was glad to hear that. The more people Asuka had around her the better. If they could hang together then surely, they could help each other through any difficulties they might encounter. And she didn't really believe things were as bad as Asuka seemed to think. Hikari wouldn't be here otherwise.

"Can I help too?" Hikari offered.

Rei and Asuka exchanged a look, their eyes meeting and locking on firmly. Words seemed to pass unspoken between them as they shared a seriousness that suddenly confused the freckled girl. Asuka was the first to look away.

What was that? Hikari thought. Calling each other by their first name is one thing, but I know concern when I see it. Is Rei worried about her? Is she afraid of going back, too? And why? Going home should be a good thing. I thought-

"You are a guest, Hikari," Asuka finally said, shaking her head stiffly. "Just relax. Unpack if you want. Make yourself more comfortable. This is not like in school. You don't have to volunteer for clean-up duty or something." She forced a smile. "Besides, I don't want your monkey boyfriend accusing me of being a bad host for putting you to work."

"Asuka …"

There was something going on here that she wasn't getting, Hikari decided. Perhaps in time someone would fill her in. With the way things usually went with Asuka, that was probably the most she could hope for.

Hikari sighed, and turned to the suitcases waiting on the bed. She needed to feel useful; unpacking was the best she could do for now.

The food was great, as expected of anything cooked by Shinji. He really had a talent for cooking. Hikari sat with Toji by her side, while Shinji had Asuka to his left and Rei in front. Keiko sat next to Rei. There was some conversation as they ate, but not too much. Hikari spent her time complementing the others and making positive comments, wishing she could clear her mind as easily as she did her words. But still an air of sullen awkwardness persisted, particularly from Asuka, who at times seemed determined to avoid making eye contact with anyone.

Noticeably, there were very few open displays of affection between the former pilots of Eva Units 01 and 02, though everyone present knew by now they were a couple. Toji, on the other hand, had no trouble grabbing Hikari by the hand, playful stroking her arms, making somewhat-inappropriate comments and insisting on feeding her right from his fork. Hikari quietly protested some of this action out of embarrassment and modestly but usual gave in after the jock insisted.

Hikari also noticed how Rei had Keiko exchanged looks, and how the brunette's cheeks colored when she thought Rei was glancing at her too long. That should have been prime teasing material for Asuka, but the redhead didn't say a word. Her efforts to smile, as she had when they were alone, didn't convince Hikari either.

When the food was gone, Rei and Keiko helped clear the table. Shinji suggested they have a toast. Hikari, being Hikari, could not let that offer go unchallenged.

"Hold on!" She stood suddenly. "Nobody here is of legal age. In the United States, it's still twenty one."

Everyone looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Come on, Hikari, didn't you ever drink sake back home?" Asuka said, and for the first time her gloomy expression lifted into something like soft bemusement. "I'm German. You know Germans are famous for their drinking, right?"

"I've never known you to drink," Hikari retorted.

"She doesn't," Shinji pointed out, "except for special occasions."

Before Hikari could make further arguments regarding the inherent immorality of drinking alcohol-or that of any other such vice as the case may be-Toji grabbed her wrist and pulled her surreptitiously onto his lap. Hikari gave a short, surprised whine, but once she was seated she made no attempt to get up. Toiji quickly wrapped his arm around her waist.

"He-Hey!" Hikari's face began going hot.

"What am I gonna do with this girl?" Toji mused. "It's like dating an SSDF sergeant."

"I am not like a sergeant!"

Toji ignored her, but placed his other arm around her, helping her settle onto his lap. He tossed a mischievous glance towards Shinji. "Tell me, man, is the redheaded devil also like this when the two of you are alone?"

"As if I would ever let a monkey put his paws around me," Asuka barked. There was no hiding her embarrassment, however. "Shinji is far more respectful."

Toji grinned. "I don't know who you think you are kidding. The more prim and proper a girl is, the more noise she makes when-"

"Toji!" Hikari whined.

"All I'm saying is that it does no good pretending, Red. You two have barely even looked at each other. You aren't fooling anyone. Everyone here knows you aren't the same uncaring bitch you used to be. So show it. No one here will judge you if you stop being uptight about your feelings."

Hikari was shaking her head. "Guys, I'm sorry."

"Stupid monkey." Asuka sighed, but then, quick as lightning, shot an arm out, grabbed Shinji by the wrist and pulled him onto her lap, then put her arms around him. "There. Happy?"

It was now Shinji's turn to blush. Like Hikari, however, once seated in his significant other's lap, he made no attempt to get up again no matter how red his face got.

"Oh, now you're getting it!" said Toji. He squeezed Hikari, making her squirm.

"H-Hey, stop that!"

When Rei and Keiko returned that was how they found the others. Rei, as was expected, offered no reaction. Her red eyes simply moved from Hikari and Toji to Shinji and Asuka. Keiko was another matter.

"Err … aren't you all getting ahead of yourselves?" she said. Then she turned to Rei. "Should I get on your lap, then?"

Rei silently took her wrist and pulled her towards the nearest chair.

In the end the toast was made, everyone else had wine while Hikari drank water-although she did notice Asuka only had a sip before putting her glass down. It was still nice. Hikari enjoyed it, though certainly not as much as she enjoyed the company.

A few hours later, when things had settled down, Hikari changed into her pajamas and walked from the bathroom over to bed. Toji was waiting for her, having already drawn back the covers. He was dressed only in a pair of shorts, his artificial leg resting on the floor. Hikari let her eyes take him in, for once showing little restraint, and liking what she saw.

"Staring again, eh?" Toji said when he noticed her eyes on his body. "That's alright. I know I'm a stud."

"I'm not." She moved up to him and slipped her arms around his shoulders, feeling his warm skin. At the same time, she felt his hands pressed against the small of her back, sneaking under her pajama bottoms and squeezing the soft flesh flesh his fingers found there. "Ah … um …"

Toji dipped his head and kissed her neck. "Such prim and proper noises," he whispered. "Remember what I told Red earlier?"

Hikari did. She shook her head. "Can we just cuddle? I'm tired from the trip and all."

Someone else might have insisted, but not Toji. "Yeah, sure thing Class Rep."

"Don't call me that." Hikari squirmed.

"Yeah, no can do. You will always be the Class Rep. to me." He held her a bit tighter. "And don't think I haven't noticed what you're trying to do here, Hikari. I know you want to help Asuka and the others, but don't make it so that you must carry their burdens yourself. You've been through a lot, too. You deserve to be happy just like anyone else."

Hikari had no reply for that, even though she knew he was right. She pulled away, gave him a quick kiss on the lips and slipped into bed. Toji followed suit after turning off the light and placed his arms around her again. Hikari sighed as she nuzzled herself back into his warm embrace and pulled the covers over them both.

Within minutes, Toji was asleep, his breathing brushing softly against her ear. Hikari was not. She lay away, staring at the wall. She didn't know how long she spent like that, but the longer she waited for sleep to claim her, the more impatient she became. Eventually she decided she couldn't just lay there. She sneaked away from Toji's grasp, careful so as not to wake him, and rose from bed. She crossed the dining room and headed into the kitchen, thinking that perhaps some water or milk might help her sleep. As she entered, however, she noticed a light was on outside.

She followed it, moving through the living room to a door. Peeking outside, she saw this door led to a wooden deck which ran along the back of the house. On the deck stood Asuka, leaning forwards on the rail. Besides her, his arm draped casually around her waist, was Shinji. Asuka's head was on his shoulder, her hair flying in the breeze. Their backs were turned to her, both seemingly gazing into the dark forest which appeared as a black frontier beyond the reach of the deck lights. Above them a thousand stars showed as tiny pinholes in an utterly impenetrable blackness.

Even from this distance, Hikari could tell they were talking over the chirping of insects.

" … couldn't. It just didn't feel right," Asuka said, in a tone so low and soft Hikari barely recognized it as hers.

"You'll need to tell her," Shinji said. His fingers moved gently up and down Asuka's side, stroking the warm skin between her ribs and hip. "It's a big deal."

Asuka's head dropped. She shifted more of her weight onto Shinji's shoulder.

"What about Rei?" Shinji said.

"Rei knew before I did," Asuka told him, then sighed. "You know how she is."

Shinji nodded. "I'm glad she's here. Nothing will happen as long as she's around."

"As long as they are afraid of her, you mean."

Hikari didn't understand. Why would anyone be afraid of Rei Ayanami? She was a girl probably not even old enough to go to college.

"Yeah, that's another way to put it," Shinji said, turning his head slightly. "Have you thought about a name?"

"No, I'm not there yet. I haven't really come to terms with it. I … may not for a while."

A name? Hikari found that specially odd. A name for what? They didn't have anything that might need a-oh …

Something clicked in Hikari's mind, the proverbial light bulb turning on with clear, bright intensity. A name! Of course they would need a name! No wonder Asuka had been so worried when they'd spoke privately before dinner. Only it wasn't herself she was worried about. Or rather, it was herself, but not for the obvious reason.

Nothing is ever obvious with her, Hikari thought, unable to hold back a smile. Nothing is ever easy. But it's worth it.

Despite all she had been through, having wrestled with her own doubts and despair, for the first time Hikari was truly happy she had made it through the nightmare. Her heart lifted. This was why she had survived, she suddenly realized. To see this. To know there was always a future because people would always join themselves through their emotions. Life carried on. Time could not be stopped no matter how much you looked back, how much it hurt.

The past was gone-destroyed beyond anyone's power to repair. As it should be. Whatever happened now, Asuka and Shinji were making their own future together because they were strong enough.

One day Hikari hoped she could do the same.

The End.