Song is A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion
A/N at the end

Hush, now
I see a light in the sky
Oh, its almost blinding me
I cant believe
If Ive been touched by an angel with love

The cherry blossoms had started to bloom all over Tokyo, heralding the coming of spring after a mild but very rainy winter. From the window of my new office I had a good view into the park across the street and I could see a lot of people, families, students on field trips and couples enjoying themselves down there, having a picknick or taking a walk. For a moment my thoughts drifted to Michiru, as they still tended to do ever so often, wondering whether we would've strolled under the shower of petals if we had still been together.
I sighed, knowing full well that such musings were pointless. I hadn't seen Michiru in person since the day I quit KaiouKom the past autumn; the last image of her back turned on me still lingering painfully on my mind. Only here and there I had read about her in the newspapers, especially when she was able to broker another excellent deal with an American company thanks to her previously established connections. The name of Dreamline had shown up in the article as I noted gladly. It was nice to know helping us had paid off well for Myra, Gregory and their company.
Asami had chided me more than once for my behaviour, she urged me to stop following the news about her, telling me it wasn't the way to get over her. My friend was right, as usual, but I, as usual, couldn't follow her advice. Not even when she called me a gloomy bore several times.

Nobody had ever made me feel like Michiru and it still hurt to think about what my stupidity had cost me. I knew I should get over Michiru, but the thing was I didn't really want to, nor did I think I could. Not for a long time, in the worst case maybe not ever.
Asami had asked me to come out with her and her employees a few times, in hopes I might find somebody who would pique my interest and I had gone willingly if only for coming out a bit more, but nobody I met had interested me much. A friend of Asami's male model had asked me out one time on a date, however I shot him down. Afterwards my Asami wanted to know if I'd rather be set up with a woman. I gave the question some thought, then declined. It wasn't about men and women, it was Michiru in her whole complexity as a person which had intrigued me. Somehow the two of us had simply fit together.

"It' fate," I had told Asami. "It's stupid," was her reply. But it couldn't have been mere coincidence that it had been me of all her employees accidentally listening in on her phone conversation last year and then being asked to accompany her.
I shook my head to clear it of these thoughts, now wasn't the time to dwell on my lost love, not when I had to hand in a plan for the new project to my boss tomorrow. I had switched from accounting to designing the code for websites, databases and the likes. The company was a lot smaller than KaiouKom had been, still I liked my new job. I had been given the leadership of a small desing team within the marketing team without any fuss being made about my gender, the co-workers were nice and my salary was enough to get by comfortably. If all else were to fail I still had the money Michiru had paid me for acting as her companion stored in a bank account. So far I couldn't bring myself to touch it.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" I called and Natsume, one of my co-workers entered. She was one year my junior but already married and a mother of one, an adorable boy. In her hands she held a few sheets of paper which she spread on my desk. "These are the prints of the logos we thought of, this one," she pointed at the first sheet to the right, "for the front page, and the rest for the top and bottom of the sub-pages."
I studied them all briefly, each page with diligent annotations; as always there was nothing to criticize, Natsume was neat and reliable in her work. "Thank you, they look very good."
The phone rang and with a apologetic look to her, I took up the receiver. "Tenou speaking," I said, waving goodbye to Natsume as she left my office.
"Hey Haruka," it was Asami on the other end of the line and she sounded excited and agitated. "Would you be terribly offended if I cancelled our dinner plans tonight?"
"I will starve without your delicious cooking but otherwise I will be fine," I joked. "But seriously, what came up that you can't make it? Some sort of emergency?"
"Toshi finally asked me out, on a real date! Just the two of us in a fancy restaurant!" Asami practically squealed and I joined in on her happiness although I held the recevier a bit farther away from my ear. "It was about time the guy made a move!"

Toshi, the male model she had gushed about since I had gotten my first suit from Asami, had been a regular to many of our social outings since then and it was painfully obvious to everybody how attracted he and Asami were to each other.
"I swear it, I was so close to asking him out myself and then he came to the fitting today with my favourite flavour of pockies and wanted to know if I'd like to do dinner with him tonight."
I laughed, Toshi was good if he knew to woo Asami with pockies, which she was crazy about. "Good for you. So go and enjoy your long-overdue date. Tell me everything about it tomorrow."
"Of course I will, Haruka."
"Have fun then. Bye."
"Thanks. Bye."
We hung up. I was really happy for Asami, it was more than due that she found herself a happy relationship.

'Real date, huh. Michiru and I never got around to that...'

The smallest part of me was a little envious, no matter how glad I was on behalf of my friend, however, Asami being engaged for tonight meant I would have to make my own dinner and I didn't feel much like cooking tonight. Or rather I didn't feel like going to the store to stock up my cupboards. So it was take-out or eating out.
The air was warm, a shallow breeze coming in from the harbour when I left the office building that evening. It was one of the first nights in week where I didn't need to bundle up and had to draw up my jacket against the cold of the evening, and many other pedestrians shared my feelings, judging by the way the side-walks were clattered with people. Spring had definitely arrived. I decided to leave the car in the parking lot for the time being and take a stroll to find a restaurant for dinner.
Surprisingly or maybe not, after all the musing about the past today, my steps instinctively led me to the café in the bay area, where I had taken Michiru on our first non work-related meeting. I wondered if this could have been counted as a date when I settled down on a table in the corner. The window-seats with the nice view had all been occupied already at this hour. I ordered coffee and a sandwich when the waiter came. Although the restaurant was packed, it took only ten minutes for my food to arrive. Maybe I should have thought this going to eat alone through some more, I realized after taking the first bite of my sandwich and taking a sip of the coffee. A book or newspaper to read while eating would have been nice, but lacking that I resorted to watching people again.
As if I hadn't done that enough today already. The sun was sinking slowly, blinding me when I tried to look beyond the customers sitting at the window tables as I finished up my meal. It was time to walk back to my car before it started to get cold again.

Just as I was about to leave the café the door was opened from the outside, the person entering nearly colliding with me. "I'm sorr -" I started to say, stopping halfway, gaping.

Michiru had just been about to enter. We both stopped in our tracks, surprised. Michiru was the first to find her voice again, after giving me a once over with a sharp look.

"I see you still go around confusing people about your gender," she remarked snidely, nodding to the shirt and suit I was wearing.

"No I don't," I replied softly, "if I have learned one thing after my time with you, it is to not hide myself, but I happened to like the look so I kept it. It's comfortable and practical."

Instantly there was a hint of remorse on her features, we both knew it wasn't like her to be so aggressive. "I'm sorry, Tenou-san. That was uncalled for."

"It's alright." Seeing her standing here before me, I took the chance to look at her again properly. It had been too long since I laid eyes on her. Michiru was still every bit as beautiful as on the day I had last seen her six months ago. A little tired as she always did at the end of her work day but otherwise she was the same woman I had fallen for. "You look good." I found myself saying, without really intending to.

"Thank you. But I'm not interested in flattery right now." She was still being brusque, although she should know I didn't really do flattery.

"I didn't mean to flatter, I just had to say it."

Again, we both looked at each other.
'Dammit Haruka, make a move – you don't know whether you will see her again!'

I steeled myself for the likely rejection of what I was about to suggest, squared my shoulders and said what I hoped would finally clear the air between us. If anything, I needed closure.

"It's been a while since we last saw each other, Kaiou-san, and in there it's pretty crowded, so... would you care to take a coffee to go and go for a walk?" She shot me a sceptical look, but didn't try to just move past me, which I took as a positive sign.
"I know we haven't parted on the best terms and I can't apologize enough for what I've done but I would like to at least clear the air between us."

Michiru pondered the offer for a moment. Considering how angry and hurt she had been, I was happy she even seemed to give the idea any thought at all. Finally, after what felt like ages, but was at best half a minute, Michiru nodded.

"Get me a coffee and a sandwich, then we can talk. It's been a long day and I'm starving."

"Of course, I'll be right back." I said, turning around to walk back to the bar.

I got myself another cup of coffee as well, if only to have some place other than my coatpockets to put my hands. Heading back out I didn't see Michiru through the door, leaving me thinking she bailed, sending me in just to distract me for the briefest moment, but when I walked out onto the street she was still standing there, leaning against the sill of the shop next door.

"It must be really crowded in there if it took you this long," she remarked, accepting the cup and the bag with her food from my hands. "So Tenou-san, where do you want to walk to?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't really care. Down to the waterfront perhaps?"

She agreed and when slowly started walking. It was awkward as neither of us seemed to know what to say, the silence only being broken be the sound of us sipping the hot coffee every now and then.

"How is -"

"How have -"

We both started to speak at the same time and then closed our mouths in unison. We stopped walking and just looked at each other, then we began to laugh and some of the tension was lifted. When we continued on to the waterfront I tried again. "How is everything at the office, are things running smoothly for you?"

"Everything's fine, Coleman has kept his end of the bargain and Myra's and Gregory's software was a real success." I knew this already but didn't want to appear as if I had been stalking her. I waited but she didn't go into further details or tell something about projects the company had started since then.

"That's good. And what about Kazuki?" I dared to ask. Although I had not been witness to the aftermath of our America trip, I was sure Noriaki would have told his preferred son-in-law all about it, who, in turn, was likely to not take it without making a scene.

Michiru's face, when I mentioned Kazuki's name, turned from at ease with being here to closed off and cold in an instant.
"I'd rather not discuss him. He has to come to term with things, as we all do." was all she would say between tight lips before she took out a forceful bite of her sandwich. It made me wish I had kept the question to myself but curiosity had gotten the better of me. I tried to apologize for bringing it up, however, Michiru cut me short.

"Tenou-san, this is not what you had said you wanted to talk about. You said you wanted to clear the air between us but all you did so far was make idle chitchat or intrude on personal matters. So why don't you get to the point?"

Confronted point-blank like this I just shrugged my shoulders sheepishly. "I don't even really know what to say," I confessed. "If it would make anything better, I would apologize over and over again for how things between us ended, for the coward I was, but I can't undo it. And I don't regret that I got to know you as the amazing person that you are, nor do I regret that I fell for you. Never before was there a person like you in my life and I can't stop thinking about you."

We had reached the waterfront and instead of walking along the railing like all the people around us did, we had, without agreeing vocally on it, stopped, standing there and facing one another as Michiru listened to me ranting until I ran out of words to say apart from 'forgive me'. I wouldn't ask her to, it wouldn't have been fair to beg for redemption if she wasn't giving it freely.
"Why did you do it?" she asked finally. "Why did you lie about who you were?"

"I didn't -" I started but caught myself. Over the last months I had come to see that claiming I hadn't lied so much as just not corrected an assumption made, was a justification I used to make myself okay about the situation. But I had come to be honest with Michiru, so I corrected my words. "I didn't to it intentionally at first. I cut my hair when I came to Tokyo, to make a new start and when I turned up to the job interview your father must have assumed from my looks that I was a guy. I was very perplexed when he asked me back then if I had plans for a family of my own."

"But you also didn't correct father:" she said sharply and I lowered my head in shame. Hearing it out of Michiru's mouth made it somehow realer.

"No, I didn't and I can't say how many times I regretted it. But at the time it seemed like a good idea to go with it."

Michiru still looked imploringly, eyes fixated on my face, looking for the answers she needed and deserved. I took a deep breath. "Do you remember how I told you I had a bad accident with my motorbike?"

She nodded.
"I had always dreamed of becoming a professional, or at least a semi-professional, and my old trainer was convinced I could do it, as was I. But my father had other plans. After I had been studying and racing for all these years he came to me, telling me that he expected me to marry my best childhood friend to facilitate the joining of their two companies. Basically he wanted to turn me into a trophy wife. Shocked and riled up I ended up riding my bike down the road in a heavy rain, knowing full well I shouldn't be out in that weather, which was when the accident happened."

Michiru was looking at me with big eyes as I told her the story which must seem so terrible familiar in parts. It wasn't easy for me to talk about it, but now that the start had been made I knew, I had to pull through, with all the details I could still remember from the accident and the events leading up to it,

"My father wouldn't let up on the idea of me marrying Tomohito and when I told him I didn't want to, he stopped visiting me in the hospital. It was Tomohito who persuaded him to let go of the plans of marriage, that he wouldn't wed me if I was unwilling, even though he loved me. Tomohito's decision my father did respect, but not mine. Instead he forbade me to ever race my bike again and by the time I was discharged from the hospital, he had it sent to the junk-yard." My voice became bitter just thinking back to those last heated arguments I had with my father and how I could not see even the tiniest bit of the dad I had adored in my childhood in the man behind the desk anymore. "He took away the only thing I really loved about my life back then and throwing out my bike was the last straw for me. I walked out of the house and came here. I haven't spoken to my father since then."

I felt a gentle touch on my hand. Michiru put her fingers on the back of my hand. "I'm sorry to hear that. I knew you were at odds with your family but not this much."
I gave her a sad smile, "You couldn't, I made a point of not talking about it. Not talking helped me not to think about the man my father had become. He wasn't always like that."

Or maybe he was, I thought, and I simply didn't notice it when I was a child, not yet relevant to any business plans he might have.
"But you see, my own father giving more weight to the decisions of my male friend instead of his own daughter, it made me think that if I lived as a man I might be given more freedom, be allowed to be my own person."

With a self-depreciating grin I finished "In hindsight it was stupid but back then it made sense to me to just go along with the assumption."

Michiru was silent, taking it what I had told her. The touch of her fingertips was long gone. Maybe it was time to break off this meeting. There was no point in torturing myself any longer being win Michiru's presence; I had said my piece and maybe one day she'd forgive me. All there was left was to thank her for hearing me out and go home.

"I see where you coming from, Tenou-san." The words were said slowly, as if she was still trying to put all the pieces together into on picture she had of me, of what we had been. I stayed put, waiting.

"Was it worth it?" Michiru asked.

"What do you mean?" I replied, unsure of what exactly she was going for now. She was staring at my, gaze intent and piercing, pinning me to the spot and not accepting any kind of evasion.
"You told me right in the beginning how much you needed to be free, I remember, but I want to know, was it worth it? The perceived freedom you got, was it worth living a lie?"

"No." This I didn't even have to think about. "I never felt as happy as when I was with you and my lie destroyed that."

For the briefest moment Michiru smiled at me, the same smile she had given me back when we had been together and my heart leapt. But then she turned to look out at the waterfront where the sun was barely peaking out behind the houses across the bay anymore and the spell was broken.

"It's getting late and cold. We should go back to our cars Tenou-san."

"Of course," I nodded in agreement as we silently started to walk back to the business avenues.
Without asking I walked Michiru to her car. She did not object which I took as a good sign. At least she would tolerated my presence again.

"Good bye Tenou-san."

"Good bye, Drive safely."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Thank you, for hearing me out Kaiou-san."
She paused, holding the open car door in her hand and we just looked at each other. I could hear Michiru suck in a breath before the words fell from her lips. "To be honest, I could never quite stop thinking about you, too" she admitted, then getting in the car and shutting the door without another word.

It took me a moment to let the words sink in, standing there on the side-walk, staring after her car as it got swallowed in the traffic. The most glorious feeling bloomed in my chest and a big smile spread across my face.

This was what a second chance felt like.

A/N: So this is it. It's finished and it took much longer than it should have. Someone commented on the last chapter that it felt rushed - it wasn't my intention to come of like that. From the beginning I wanted to write a lovestory that didn't have a happy ending, I wanted the whole thing to blow up in their face, because to me a relationship founded on a lie can't work nor is it healthy. Now I know gender is fluid, as is gender expression, but in mind for this story Michiru had considered herself heterosexual because so far she hadn't encountered any women who interested her (I always got the vibe from the anime she might have some bisexual tendencies). So Michiru thinks she is dating a man and though Haruka still turns her on in a dress (which makes her a bit uncomfortable at that point but will later lead her to question her orientation) she has no cause to believe different. Finding out Haruka lied about her gender makes her question what else she has been lied to about in the past months. Haruka may say everything else was real but she can't prove it to Michiru and Michiru feels betrayed so her initial reaction is to push it all away, the relationship as well as Haruka, so she can work on getting on with the hurt.
At one point I was considering writing a chapter from Asami's or Tomohito's POV but then changing the POV for one chapter, show them intervening trying to help the relationship along and/or being surprised when they found Michiru's still in the dark about Haruka being a woman. However, it wouldn't have felt organic, as would have changing to Michiru for one chapter to show her side of the aftermath, so I decided against it. This was Haruka's story.
I couldn't bear to let them be completely separated, however, they belong together, therefore they will now have to work hard to re-establish the connection and the trust they had. It's not a happy ever after but the chance for a happy ending.

Thank you so, so much for reading!
Merry Christmas

Leaf