Disclaimer; I do not own any of the characters or anything to do with them only my ideas belong to me and they are locked safely away

A/N This is the first chapter of the story, and each of the chapters will be for a different character. So i hope you enjoy it and read and review.

Home for the mentally deranged

Things to drive Norrington insane

Dye his ship's sails black (if you don't get this, you have no idea about pirates)

Hide his wig

Repeatedly tell him that Captain Jack Sparrow is the best pirate that ever lived

Refuse to call him Commodore (this really only works for the first film)

Taunt him about the fact he isn't a commodore anymore (applies to second film)

Dye his wig pink

When he talks to you say "oh la de da!"

When he tells you to do something reply sarcastically "Yes your highness" and bow mockingly.

Constantly tell him that you think Will and Elizabeth make a lovely couple

Say to him "there's plenty of fish left in the sea…so get fishing, I'm hungry"

Ask him if he had a nice time rolling around with the pigs

Ask him why he never got a wash after being covered in pig yuck

Giggle and point at him head

Ask him why he never manages to catch Jack

Scream in his ear

Move your lips as if you're talking but let no sound escape (this should cause him to think he's deaf)

Get him to sing "a pirates life for me"

Tell him he must be really horny if he was willing to go after Will just to get Elizabeth

Laugh at him and shout "we proved you wrong about those un-dead pirates, who's the fool now!?"

Talk with a cockney accent (or any common dialect)

A/N There you go readers, next chapter shall be dear William. (evil laugh). Anyways please review, if you do you get your name at the start of the next chapter and an imaginary cookie.

Muchas Gracias

Saphalina xoxo