Author's Notes An idea I came up with while I was writing Chapter 10 of Us and Them... no idea why. Anyway, it's a parody of the 10 Commandments, something that House might give to his employees before they start working for him. Just don't get huffy over the fact that I'm parody-ing the Bible, and enjoy!
10 Commandments
1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
1. I am House, your God, who brought you out of the land of idiots. Be grateful.
2. Thou shall have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shall have no other boss. Anyone claiming to be 'Dean of Medicine' is lying.
3. Thou shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.
3. Thou shall not come up with strange nicknames for me such as 'Greggums', 'House-inator', or 'Gimpy'. Oh Exalted One will do just fine.
4. Thou will remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any workâyou, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns.
4. Thou shall not ask for Sundays off, nor shall thou call in sick on Sunday. The same applies to all other days of the week.
5. Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
5. If your parents call me up and try to get some juicy gossip, I will deliver in spades. Keep them well-informed of your activities to avoid this.
6. Thou shall not murder.
6. Thou shall not kill anyone without my permission.
7. Thou shall not commit adultery.
7. Thou shall not have sex with married people. Or with each other. Or with your dog. Actually, just don't have sex.
8. Thou shall not steal.
8. Thou shall not steal in such a way that it is obvious that you have done so.
9. Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
9. Thou shall not lie to me. Lie to your parents, your aunts, your friends, your cat... but not me.
10. Thou shall not covet your neighbor's wife , or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
10. Thou shall not covet my markers, my whiteboard, my sexy friend Wilson, or anything else I own.