: Hello!!! This is my second fanfic on here... I focused more on the funny in this one rather than the romance. And It might be weird at first but it was an idea that hit me in the middle of the night. So dont blame me for the oddness. Sooooo R&R -

Hello my name is Ed. (Short for Edwina... Ewww.) You are currently reading my diary... Wait a sec... KYIA!!! You filthy snoop! Argh... I think I'll let you off the hook, cuz I want to tell someone my awesome story full of adventure, romance and woe. 'cha I know that sounds so friggin awesome!

Well, it all started on that faithful day...

"Ms. Vacuum! Please wait Ms. Vacuum!" (Yes Vacuum is my last name.) It was another good samaritin that was concerned for my 'saftey'. Not like I was planning on doing anything dangerous... today at least. Nope the one time I decide not to do anything dangerous everyone tries to stop me.

"Holy saucepans! Whats wrong with you people?" I yell, "I told you Im just going to run away. Okay? Geez! Its not like Im trying to see how dark the bottom of the well is again."

"But please Ms. Vacuum don't you think this is going too far?" Man this guy didn't know when to shut up. I guess I just have to use my get-the-overly-nice-person-as-far-away-as-possible tactics.

"Look a group of starving vegetarians! Go save them!" I yell dramatically and point.

"Oh my! Where?" The man runs off in the direction of my finger point. I turned around and made sure my napsack still had all of my nessicary running away items.

"Hmmm, yep its all here, my 3 bologna sandwhiches, stick of gum and my glass dolphin. I cant live without these babies."

I turn and run for the dock, looking for the small boat that I had made the other day out of newspaper and chewed up tree bark.

I looked around for awhile but I don't see it. Is all I saw was a big ship with a big ol' goat of the front of it. Now any normal person would have assumed that it just sunk. But I am way smarter than that. I realized that my precious boat wanted to make me proud, so it turned into this BIG boat just for me! I was as happy as a fat kid at an all you can eat buffet!

"Oh boatie-poo! Im so proud of you!" I ran up and gave some snuggles to my newfound compainon.

"What the hell are you doing hugging our ship?" It was a mans voice. Wow, this guy was a friggin numbskull, he just answered his own question within the same sentence. I decided I liked him, even though I haven't even bothered to look at him, he made me feel smart.

So I decided to turn around and meet my other new found friend for the day. "Woah.." I say as I look at him. He has green hair.

But when he looked at me he said the same thing. "Woah..." He says. "You a boy or a girl?"

What?!! Is it not obvious from my absoulute cuteness that I'm from the female gender? "Hey! That's not a question you ask a person on their first date!"

"What? Who said anything about a date?" Ha! He's trying to play a psycological game with me. He knows I just said date, but he wants me to think I didn't. Well too bad. Im too smart.

"I did! Me and boatie here are on a date! Now go away!" Green haired man didn't look too happy with me. But I didn't care cuz I was with boatie.

"Whats wrong with you, you spikey haired freak?!" Hey! Why does he use my hair as insult?! His hair is spikey too! But his is green! And mine is brown... like grass and dirt... that means worms...

"I wanna go fishing!!"

"Wtf? Where did that come from!?"

"Boatie take me fishing!" I hurried and climbed the rope ladder that was down just for me, but scary green haired dude had to follow me.

"Hey you stupid brat! This is a pirate ship not a fishing boat!" Green haired dude yells at me.

"Im no brat! Im 16!!" Just cuz I happen to be short, cute, and innocent, he automaticaly assumes Im a brat. How rude!

At this point green haired dude proceeds to chase poor little me around boatie.

"Help!" I scream pleading with the unknown gods that were sitting on thier couches, eating popcorn, watching this event take place. "Rape!" Green haired dude catches me by the collar of my T-shirt. "Please! Im a minor! Digging up coal is my favorite pass time!"

Green haired dude holds me up like Im a sulking kitten, so I try to swat him like a fly, but he scowled at me and it was an ugly face so I stop. I dont like ugly.

"Hey! What are you doing to that poor... Er, kid?" A new voice! Could it be the voice of salvation? I look over just to be dissapointed. It was just the voice of a really tall blonde freak. I was always naturally scared of blondes.

"According to her she is a 16 year old girl, who's dating our boat." The blonde raised his eyebrows.

"Zoro put her down." It was a red haired lady that spoke now. Wow! There was a rainbow of hair colors on this ship, and I really like rainbows! Wait, she knew I was a girl? Its a miracle! I guess that we women have the the ability to sense one another.

So green haired man, Zoro, dropped me. But being the kitty I was, I landed on all fours.

"Yep," I tell them, "My mom says I would never be a good car cuz my tires are flat." Zoro and red head start laughing and blondie just stared at me with wide eyes. "What?" I ask, but they just laugh harder.

So yeah, this went on for quite a while. They just wouldn't stop laughing. So I decided to investigate. What would make them laugh so hard? Then it hit me.

"Ow!" That really hurt! Who did that? I look up from my inspection of the floor boards. There was two culprits to my abuse. One was this lanky looking fellow with a stupid grin and an even stupider hat. The other was a guy with the longest nose I have ever seen! I told myself to never believe a word that comes out of his mouth. I read that Pinocchio book!

"What are you doing here?" Guy with stupid hat asked.

"Im running away. Can I stay with you guys?" Was that too sudden? Am I going too fast? Ack thats it! This relationship is over!

"Sure!!" Guy with stupid hat said inturrupting my thoughts.

"What?!" All others say at once.

"Wow!" I grabbed my napsack and held it like a baby. "Did you hear that? We can stay." I pulled out my glass dolphin and kissed its forehead.

And that was how I was accepted onto boaties crew and was able to get away from my stupid island and go on adventures!!

:End of chapter one! Yep I treid to warn you but nooooooo don't listen to her she doesn't know anyhing! And yes I do plan on finding some romance in this one but... not with Ed. It will come waaaaayy later when I think about it some more kay? Review please!! Ill give a nice shiney nickel!