So yea… I thought about my other story One Day and decided to do a spin off of it! This is actually before One Day… I know what happens in this story isn't mentioned in One Day and that because I wrote this after the other one… so yea… Let's just say Sora never wanted to mention it again… and… they didn't talk about it… yea! You'll understand what I'm taking about once you read it. Enjoy!!

"Blah" Means regular talking

Blah means thinking/thoughts

"Blah" means the other person on the phone… yea

Title: One Night

Rated: M for language, angst, cutting, and sex!

Pairings: SoraXRoxas one sided… but… yea you'll see. And slight AxelXRoxas!

Warning: Angst of course… and mention of gay sex and Twincest sex! Yesh! If you don't like that kinda stuffs then just don't read this. (No ACTUAL lemon or anything… I'm too much of a pussy to write one… so yea… but you can figure out what happens.)

It took me some time to realize how I felt. I never thought about my feelings too much. I was only 14. They just suddenly turned on me. And when they did… It was the worse day of my life.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd kill to just touch it? And what if that something was in front of you everyday yet you couldn't have it? That's my problem… Only it's more sick then that.

Everyone loves their siblings, right? Well… I've begun to think I might love mine just a little too much.

I hiss in pain as the sharp silver blade grazes the pale skin of my wrist. Blood soon flows from the slightly deep cut and relief is all I feel. No pain. Relief from my emotional pain. I wasn't always like this. But Axel told me how greatly this can ease the pain. Axel was amazingly right.

I freeze when there's a knock at the bathroom door. "Roxas?" Shit! I quickly clean the blood from my arm with some tissues. I quickly wrap my wrist with a bandage and put my black arm warmer back on. "Roxas?" The source of my pain knocks on the door again and tries the knob to only find it locked. "Hurry up! I have to pee!"

"Chill Sora!" I scramble to my feet and throw the towel and blade into the cabinet under the sink. I check myself in the mirror and pause at my reflection. The eyeliner doesn't help much at hiding the dark circles under my eyes. I'm paler then normal, including my normally bright blue eyes. I shake my head at my reflection and go to unlock the door. I open the door to a very pissed Sora.

"What the hell were you doing in there?"

"Nothing that concerns you." I brush past him and down the hallway.

"Roxas! What's with you?!"

I ignore him and enter my room, shutting to door behind me. The darkness is a comfort as I flop down onto my bed. He doesn't need to know. Sora will never know. But at this rate… I have to be more careful where and when I do this. I rub my right wrist gently. I wince in pain at the contact. Shit… NOW it hurts. I remove my arm warmer to relieve the pressure on my wrist. I sigh in satisfaction and lay back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I glance at my phone as it begins to ring. The blue light hurts my eyes but I pick it up anyway. "Yea?"

"So… How you feel?"

I close my eyes at the soothing voice of Axel. "Better…"

"How bad did it hurt?"

"Not much at all actually… but it hurts now."

"I forgot to mention that."

"Well, thanks."

"But you feel better?"

"Yea… Only problem is… it wasn't enough."

"What do you mean? How much did you cut?"

"Just once… Sora interrupted me."

"Ah. The source. Once should do the trick…"

"Well, it didn't."

"Rox… I know it hurts but please don't do it too much. I'd kill myself if I ever lost you to something I taught you."

"I know my limits Axel…"

"But sometimes… You just don't realize it. Please be careful. Promise me."

The concern in his voice almost makes me blush. Everyone in school knows how much he likes me. Even Sora. "Promise."

"Ok then. I'll call you tomorrow, k?"

"Alright."

"Later, Rox."

"See ya, Ax." I close my phone and let it fall onto the bed. I sigh and hold a hand to my head. Axel and Sora are the only ones I let call me Rox… Humph… I am an idiot… I've got the hottest guy in school after me and I don't even care. Yup… I'm an idiot.

"Roxas?" A soft, timid voice asks from behind my door. "Are you ok?"

Great… now I've got him concerned. "I'm fine, Sora."

"Don't lie to me!" He suddenly bursts out.

"I don't want to talk about it. So just leave me alone." After a few minutes I can hear him walk away and head to his own room. I sigh and cover my eyes with my hand. Maybe… I shouldn't be so mean to him… But it's his fault. It's his entire fault… NO… I can't blame Sora… for my feelings. I sit up and look around the room. I'm never going to make it like this… I gotta do something to make these feelings go away.

"Axel?" I look over at the tall older red head shyly from my desk.

"Hm?" He glances at me from his place on my bed. He's sitting with his back against the wall, reading a magazine.

"I've been wondering…" He lowers the magazine and gives me his full attention. "What… do you think… about my feelings for Sora?"

"Honestly?" He places the magazine to his side.

"Please."

He takes a deep breath and releases it. "Well, it's odd. I mean… He is your twin after all. But love is love, you know?"

"You don't think it's sick?"

"Not really."

I smile slightly. He always says just what I want to hear. "You like me, don't you Axel?"

He freezes for a moment at my sudden question. "I… Well, Yea. I do."

"And you haven't advanced why?"

He shrugs. "Sora."

"What?"

"You're feelings are only for Sora. Why try?"

I jump up suddenly, surprising him. "But if we were together I'd have something to keep my mind off Sora!"

He stares at me with an amused look on his face. "Really now?"

I swallow hard and nod. "Yes."

"You're not ready for that kinda relationship Roxas."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well… I'm… 17… you're 14. We have… different… needs." He picks up the magazine and starts reading again. I glare at him and pout. I'll make you want me… I walk over to him and crawl up into his lap. He drops the magazine in surprise as I straddle his lap. "W-What are you doing?"

I smirk at him and wrap my arms around his neck. "Axel… I NEED you. I need something to get my mind off of Sora…"

He tilts his head slightly. "Why me?"

"Cuz you're willing." He opens his mouth to retaliate but knows that I'm right. "See?"

"Rox… You have no clue what you're getting yourself into."

"I don't care." I lean in and close the distance between our lips.

I thought having sex with Axel would solve everything… But I was wrong. Very wrong. It really only made things worse. And now I have a very very sore ass. I am such an idiot.

It's been 2 months since I started cutting and I've begun to realize something. I end up cutting more then I did the previous time. This whole cutting thing is not working very well anymore. This pain is beginning to get to me… Especially since Sora's be in his "touchy-feely" mood lately. I swear he's only making it worse. And Axel… Now that we've fucked he refuses to give up on me. I knew it was a bad idea… but I did it anyway.

"Roxas!" I snap out of my daze when Sora suddenly jumps on me.

"What the hell?!"

He grins and sits up, straddling my waist on my bed. "Thought that'd get your attention. I've been trying to get it for like an hour!"

"What do you want?"

"I'm bored!"

I roll my eyes. "And what am I supposed to do about that?"

"Play with me!"

Many dirty thoughts run thru my head at those words. Oh would I love to… I mentally slap myself to get rid of those thoughts. "Sora… I'm busy."

"Doing what? Sulking?" He crosses his arms over his chest.

I sigh. "Go play with Riku or someone…"

He shakes his head stubbornly. "Riku's in Florida for spring break, remember? And we haven't played together in soooooooooo long!" He begins to bounce up and down on top of me. My body reacts in a way that I wish it didn't.

I gasp and sit up quickly causing Sora to fall backwards off the bed. "Shit!" I look over the edge of the bed and Sora who's laying on his back on the floor. "Are you ok?"

He sits up and stares at me. "Umm… Yea…" I'm suddenly tackled back down onto the bed. "What did you do that for?!" He asks, pinning me to the bed. His eyes widen suddenly when he realizes my… well… hard member. Damn my body! "R-Roxas… Just WHAT were you think about before I came in here?!" He asks, getting off me.

"Um… Well… You see…"

He squints his eyes. "No! I don't wanna know!"

I can feel the huge blush on my face. "Sorry." I lower my head to hide my face.

"Aww! My wittle brother is growing up!" He hugs me tightly. I push him off me and refuse to meet his eyes. He just giggles. "Rox has a boner!"

"Sora!" I snap my head up.

He continues to laugh. "Sorry! But it's funny!"

"Not really!"

He tries to suppress his laughter. "Poor Roxas… He needs a girl!"

My eyes widen at his words. "No I don't!"

He grins. "Course you do! He's lonely." He points down between my legs. I blush more and grab a pillow to cover my lap. His goofy smile refuses to leave his lips. "Hehe!"

"Yea… Yea… Laugh it up."

He grins and tackles me back onto the bed again, this time not caring about my… um… little problem. He straddles my hips and pins my arms above my head. "It's not everyday I think about my brother getting a boner." He grins and leans forward to where our faces are about 3 inches apart. I hiss at the new found pressure on my wrists. He looks up at my wrists. "Am I hurting you? I've barely got a hold on you." It's true; he's not holding me too tightly. But when your wrists have fresh cuts on them, that kinda stuff hurts. He tightens his grip slightly and I hiss even more. His eyes widen and he removes his hands from my wrists. I don't move them from above my head. He stares at my wrists and slowly begins to remove my arm warmers. I don't try to stop him. Why try? He's stronger then me anyway. I close my eyes because I really don't want to see the look on his face. He gasps at what he finds on my wrist. "Roxas… You…" I crack open an eye to see his face. The color has been drained form his face and his eyes are the widest I've ever seen. "You cut yourself?" He gently runs his index finger over the small cuts. It doesn't hurt. His eyes meet mine and I notice now that they're very watery. "Roxas… W-Why?"

I swallow hard at the look on his face. I wasn't prepared for this… "I… I…"

"H-How could you?" He brings his hand down and rests it against my cheek. "Roxie… This… Isn't like you. W-What's… happened to you?" He searches my eyes, trying to find the answer that I won't give him. "Are you… in pain? Why does it hurt? Where does it hurt, Roxie?" Please stop calling me that… Please don't look at me like that… "Please tell me… What's wrong?"

"I can't…" I mutter out.

"Why not?"

"You'd hate me."

He leans forward and rests his forehead against mine. "I could never hate you Roxie…"

"Yes you could! I… I don't want to talk about it…"

"But…" He stares into my eyes intensely. "What's happened to you… It's changed you… You're not the same carefree Roxas that I knew… Does… Axel have something to do with this? I always knew he was a bad influence on you…"

If only he knew how right he was… "Sora… It's… not Axel… It's just… I've changed. I'm growing up. It happens."

"We're growing so far apart." A tear splashes against my cheek. "I… I don't want that to happen!" He unexpectedly bursts out into tears.

I freeze at my brother reaction. I… I haven't seen him cry since we were little… "Sora…" I wrap my arms around him and bring him down against me. He lets me and lies on top of me, wrapping his arms around me as much as he can. "It's ok…" I rub his back gently. "We're not growing that far apart… It'll be ok." I whisper into his ear softly.

He sniffs and nuzzles into my neck. "B-But… We're different…"

"It happens… but that doesn't mean we're going to stop being so close."

He lifts his head and meets my eyes. "So you still love me?" He sniffs.

"Of course I do."

"You'll never leave me, right?"

"I promise. I'll always be here for you Sora."

He smiles that beautiful smile of his. "And I'll do the same for you." He rests his head back down against my shoulder. "You're my rock, Roxas… I need you."

I sigh and nuzzle my face into his hair. "I need you too Sora… more then you'll ever know."

"Will you ever tell me what's wrong?"

"Maybe some day… When it's all over."

"Over? You mean… it's a phase?"

"I'm really hoping so."

"That bad?"

"You could say that…"

"Roxas?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you… ever… thought about… what it might be like… to be with a guy?"

This question catches me completely off guard. The night with Axel comes back into my mind. "W-What?"

"I… I have these thoughts… about Riku… that… well…" He lifts his head meets my eyes. "Rox… I think I might be gay."

My eyes widen. "Gay?"

"Yea… I mean… I'm not into girls, you know? I like Riku… and… I even find Axel attractive."

He finds… Axel… What the fuck?! "I… um… well…"

"Is that wrong?" He looks at me innocently.

"No… I mean… I… might be gay too."

"Really?"

"Yea… I mean… Axel and I… we've… well…"

His eyes widen at my blush. "You and Axel have…" He trails off.

"We've… been intimate."

I swear it looks like his eyes might pop out of his head. "What?!"

I flinch at the tone in his voice. "Well… it was… It just happened." I'm such a liar…

"You mean you're… not a virgin?" I shake my head. "But you promised that to me!"

Now it's time for my eyes to pop out. "What?!"

"When we were little! We were 9! We promised each other we'd be each others first!"

"That was a kiss Sora!" I blush at the memory.

"I meant everything!"

"Well I didn't know that!"

"Even if you did, would you have stopped?" I open my mouth but snap it shut. No… I wouldn't have… because I know you would never give me that opportunity. "I thought so…" He moves to get off me but I keep my hold on his waist. "Roxas, Let me go."

"No."

He glares at me. "Rox-"

"Just listen to me." I snap at him. He shuts his mouth and stares at me. "I didn't… think. Axel and I… that was a mistake. But… I… I'm sorry. I really am. I know you can't be my first now but… you're still a virgin, right?" He nods slowly. "So… your side of the promise has still been kept."

"We haven't acted on it yet."

"I know… but umm… well." I avoid eye contact with him.

"Roxas?"

"Yea?" I make eye contact with him.

"If it… just happened… with you and Axel… I guess… the same could happen with me and Riku…"

A sharp pain goes thru my heart at that idea. "I guess so."

"So maybe… we should umm…" A small blush comes to his cheeks. "Do it before that happens."

"I… Yea." I can feel my own blush coming on. "But… neither of us really know what we're doing."

"You did it with Axel."

"Yea but… he was… on top…"

"You don't want to be on top?"

"I… don't know how."

"Neither do I…"

"But it fits you better." He tilts his head at me. "You're more dominating then I am."

"True but…"

"I guess… Just… act on instinct."

He takes a deep breath and nods. "Right." He leans down on top of me and stops about an inch from my lips. "Are you sure about this, Rox?"

"Is it what you want?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm fine with it."

He smiles softly and presses his lips to mine gently.

I'd love to say that after that night Sora and I became more then just brothers. But then I would be lying. We never mentioned that night again. It was… a man thing. Like… a promise is a promise… so we must keep it. It wasn't like Sora forced himself to do what he did. I could tell he wanted it just as badly as I did. But… I think it was for different reasons. What they are, I don't know. It was defiantly a night I would never forget. The one night Sora was finally mine. Even if it didn't last. Though Sora said he didn't know what he was doing he was damn good at it.

That night helped me realize something. The way I feel about Sora, yea, sure it's wrong, but I won't let it get to me. Sora loves me even if it's as his brother. That's enough for me. He never has to know my feelings. As long as I'm by his side I'm happy. The cutting has stopped and I realized that it didn't really solve anything. It only made matters worse. Sure, it hurts to see Sora and not have him but it's ok. Cuz I have enough of him. And I have something that no one else will ever have. His virginity. That's plenty for me. I love my twin brother more then anything in this world and no one can change that fact. It's something I'll have to live with. And as long as Sora's close to me, I know I can do that.

That's it! Wows… I started writing this in my English class and just finished it on here! Yay me! I wanted to write another SoraXRoxas story but I wanted to do something that hasn't already been done… Soooo I thought about a pre-quel to my last story! And that's exactly what I did. I hope I did it justice. You kinda got to learn about what Roxas went thru and what they were talking about in One Day. I might have forgotten a few details from the first story so if I did… I'm sorry!

Well, Please Review! I would love to know what you think! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! (Don't forget to Review!) Bye-Bye!

-Shinza-