It had all started, really, when his sensei had died. It shouldn't have been too surprising seeing as the lives of shinobi were notoriously short. Himself being twenty, he felt as though he was already perilously close to the maximum of years he could reasonably ask for. Still, when he mourned the loss of his mentor with an almost tangible sorrow that made the air around him thick with despair, she had been there to offer him a comfort that no one else could match: an enveloping forgetfulness that let him not think of the emptiness that would surely accompany the morning when it came.
He knew it was a mistake the moment his hand formed around smooth curves. Sensei would never have approved. He knew of his pupil's weaknesses and saw this was not a good match. Their relationship had been tumultuous from the very beginning. It was dangerous: destructive.
Sometimes, as he walked the streets of Konoha by day, he swore he could feel her on his lips, taste her in his mouth, and every now and then he swore he could even find her scent on his clothes. It made him restless all day, eager for the night when he could lose himself in her again. She was his mistress of the night, gone by morning, leaving him to find his bedroom empty and in shambles: overturned chairs, torn articles of clothing, and once, a broken bed. Shame would assail him each morning only to be run off in the shadows of each night.
Ever so often his comrades would give him strange looks as if they knew what he was doing each and every night, only to shake their heads at the ludicrous thought: he knew better, they were sure.
It was Tenten that first discovered his secret. Returning late from a mission to the Tea Country, she passed his apartment en route to her own and was stopped by the sound of a thunderous crash. Drawing her kunai, she surveyed her surroundings. After assuring there was no immediate danger she looked for the source of the disturbance and noticed the soft glow through the drawn shades of Lee's window. Somehow, she knew immediately she had found the culprit. Bounding up to his third story window and landing on the ledge, she immediately became aware of the scuffling sounds coming from within the apartment, accompanied by another crash. Fearing that Lee was being ambushed, she stormed in, kunai at the ready, to take on the assailants. Only there weren't any. In fact, the only one in the ransacked apartment was Lee, slumped in the corner near an overturned planter she had given him for his birthday, a large bottle of sake hanging limply in his hand.
"Oh, Lee," breathed Tenten, as she rushed to his side, removing Lee's mistress, his panacea, from his unresisting fingers.
Lee groaned inwardly as he looked at the clock on the wall. It was getting to be late afternoon and he'd already been in this forsaken place two days, which, as far as he was concerned, was two too many. The hospital had never been a friend of his, but it became the personification of everything he hated that fateful day during the chunnin exams. He deserved to be here though, he thought in self-loathing. This was weak. He was weak.
It was lucky, he supposed, that Tenten had found him, even though the thought made shame uncurl in his stomach until he had to close his eyes against it. Alcohol poisoning apparently was not as hard to reach as he had once thought. The medics had an easy enough time correcting his lapse in judgment, and were now holding him for dehydration and general observation, believing him to not be in a right state of mind.
Honestly, he had just gone too far. He had no intention of killing himself. He had plans, dreams, of dying valiantly in the battle field. After waving his friends on to safety, he would fall behind, opening all eight gates and taking on an entire army with a fury that surely would have conquered the legendary kyuubi. His name would be honored as one of the greatest heroes since Yondaime--
Lee sighed.
He supposed this change of scenery did some good. He was no longer able completely focus on his grief. The inactivity of the past few days was making his muscles itch with anticipation. Unfortunately, the hospital staff had far too much experience with his uncooperative antics and he found himself bound to the bed. With several types of restraints. He shifted his wrist and listened as the chains clanked against the metal railing of the bed and leather straps rustle as they tightened under the strain. At least they had moved him out of isolation after just one day. The quiet of the private sector of the hospital had been torture and only served to let him dwell on how he failed those he loved. Not one had been to see him, although he was deemed well enough to receive visitors early this morning, their disappointment so great, he assumed.
A light knock on the door interrupted his brooding, eyes snapping up from the bindings to the perfectly white door. It opened quietly, a nurse poking her head in with small smile to ask if there was anything he needed. A little put out, Lee shook his head and thanked the woman who immediately left with a slight nod, leaving the door ajar. Lee diverted his gaze to the bed and shifted his legs a bit, once again hearing the laughter of the chains on his ankles.
His resentment for the restraints was pushed to the back of his mind however, when a loud thud accompanied the abrupt opening of the door as it rebounded off the wall, revealing a livid Tenten. Lee simply stared, unable to do much else seeing as he was tied to the bed. However, Tenten did not charge at him like he expected her to. She simply stood there with a few stray hairs poking out of her traditional hair buns making her look uncharacteristically frazzled. Slowly the angry red patches on her cheeks disappeared though the fire in her eyes did not.
Finally, she moved; calmly stepping inside the room and closing the door behind her quietly. She moved silently to the chair beside Lee's bed, not even her shoes clipping as she walked: a true shinobi. Tenten had not removed her eyes from Lee and he dropped his own to one of his hands to avoid her gaze, shifting slightly in the bed, rattling giving away his uneasiness.
"Damn it, Lee," Tenten sighed as she fell into the bedside chair, her eyes suddenly tired.
Lee looked up and thought that Tenten looked very old at the moment. Not at all like her usual youthful self. His throat constricted painfully in remorse, knowing this was likely all his fault.
"I'm sorry," Lee rasped.
And he truly was.
"I know," Tenten stated simply, crossing her legs casually, hand supporting her cheek as she considered him. "We all thought you would take Gai-sensei's death hard, but when you didn't show any signs-- we assumed you were getting past it on your own."
"I did try, you know," Lee said solemnly nodding his head. "Sometimes...it was just easier to forget."
This statement made Tenten feel highly uncomfortable. This wasn't the Lee she knew. He sounded so despondent, his unrelenting optimism and their usually dynamic not there.
She needed to steer this to familiar ground if she wanted to get to the root of their problem and she knew of one sure fire way to do it. Get him good and embarrassed.
"Lee, you know drinking is not healthy. Really, you should have just gone out and found yourself a girl," Tenten stated derisively, a smile curling her lips.
Lee blushed crimson at the statement, eyes wide at the accusation.
"I would never-!" Lee exclaimed indignantly, only to be cut off by Tenten's snigger.
"Still a child, Lee," she said affectionately, her eyes still dancing. "I didn't tell anyone about this," she stated sobering. "In case you were wondering. We can keep it private."
Lee nodded gratefully.
"But I need you to promise me something," she said softly, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward to place her elbows on the edge of the bed. "Don't try to do things alone anymore. I can be there when you need me."
Her eyes held him captive and he couldn't have denied her anything even if he had wanted to.
"Never again," he promised.
"A promise of a lifetime," Tenten said with a small smile, leaning back, her eyes still on him.
Lee smiled at the phrase in reminiscence of their teacher. He was, after all, only twenty. Gai-sensei wouldn't have wanted him to throw away his springtime of youth. And as soon as he was able wriggle out of these bindings, he would make sure that it didn't go to waste.
End Notes:
Fic might have confused some and I apologize. This was just a drabble I dreamed up during ochem rather than learning mechanisms.