Note: I want to thank all of you who have reviewed. I really like a lot of your ideas, especially the pairings. You all love Nejisasu, that's great!
I put the English translation of this song. It's "D.L.N" by the GazettE, I highly recommend you guys check them out, especially if you're into Jrock and you haven't yet. This is probably one of my favorites by them.
Disclaimer: because I noticed I hadn't already put one on this story, I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters, nor do I own any of the songs or artists I use in these stories.
Pairing: Nejisasu
Dedication: To all the wonderful reviewers of last chapter, and especially to those who picked this pairing.
Believe
//I knew it from the beginning/so I´m not sad/Little by little/little by little/It´s as counting numbers/The colors of dying plants get blurred/I don´t find out the end of a season/The day/which traces footsteps/reads the day/which listens to footprints/It is common that I cannot change tomorrow if I don't have any wishes/I follow the sound of dying plants/and I feel the end of a season/When the flowers are blooming/what will be left in my hand/The moon closes the curtain/but the sun shines on me/I knew it from the beginning, so I´m not sad/Even if I wake up and the night doesn´t end/And even if there are no shiny stars there/Even if all the lights in the town vanish/I saw enough of the happy face of the one I should protect and the end of the one I loved/So I am satisfied with it/Song of the sheep in dark long night//
--"D.L.N" by: the GazettE
Believe: to be confident that somebody or something is worthwhile or effective
3 months, 4 days, 15 hours, and 23 seconds…
I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. Someone had seen you standing outside the village, just as casually as if you'd never left at all. But you had left, and you were no longer welcome here.
They said you were to be put away, locked away in the dungeons under the Hokage tower, because you were too dangerousa criminal to be placed under normal prisoner watch. ANBU guards were needed to keep watch over you. You were too dangerous…
Too dangerous…
In only they'd known you were just a danger to yourself…
I remember seeing you for the first time, chains clasped to your wrists and ankles. They glowed a soft green, the familiar signature of Tsunade herself. I watched, my eyes seeing more than anyone else, what they were doing to you. They were destroying you, destroying everything that had once made you beautiful. Outwardly, you showed no signed of it, that apathetic look ever gracing your delicate features. But underneath--oh, underneath--I could see.
You chakra, your very life force and everything that made you strong…
It was dim, the light inside you, your signature. I could only see it glowing faintly, somewhere near your heart. I had once thought it was strange, that when I looked at you, you would glow brightest there. That you would focus your energy there. What was it, what had happened, to make you focus there. What did you hold onto so dearly?
And you still held onto it, even then, when you were locked up in that cell. Even after you admitted to killing the very thing that seemed to keep you alive. I wondered, as I watched your light waver, if you had really meant to kill yourself.
Death seemed to follow you…
I wondered, would you ever be able to be free from it.
I wanted to free you from death.
I remember the day they let you go. They said it was because you'd proven you were no longer a threat. Tsunade had fed that lie to so many of the villagers. I had fed that lie to them as well.
But I knew--oh, I knew--what really had you surrendering to everything they did and said. You had never been like that when you were young, when you were alive…
You were too weak to say no, too weak to be defiant. You said something to me that day, the day they finally unlocked those shackles from your limbs, the ones that had permanently taken everything that had once made you beautiful, once made you strong.
You said, you had always surrendered, had always been submissive.
And I believed you…
I believed you when you let me press my lips to yours, when you allowed my tongue entrance. I believed you when you let me push you up against the wall of my apartment, let me attack your neck and you never cried out for me to stop. Not when I bit down particularly hard on your collarbone, sucked at your pulse point. Not when my hands found their way up your shirt to run across ribs that protruded too far for it to be healthy. But we'd stopped being healthy by then, huh?
The way you were clinging to me could not have been healthy…
I breathed your name onto your skin, my breath making you shiver beneath me. I loved it, at that moment, the control you let me have. I reveled in the feel of you shuddering at my words, trembling at the touch of my fingertips. I adored the sound of your whimpers as I pulled away for a moment, the sound of your moans when I came back to you again and again.
But I had never really been in control, had I?
It was you who was intoxicating, you who was like a drug. My brain was muddled with thoughts of you, of what I wanted to do to you. I couldn't keep things straight, the only thing I was able to focus on was the feel of you against me. And that was quickly becoming less than enough. I needed more of you, more from you.
I always needed more.
You were beautiful when you let me pull you away from the wall again and into the bedroom in my apartment. You remarked on the fact that I could be living in something much more extravagant, but you were glad I was no longer living in the complex. You said you never deserved to go back there.
I agreed with you.
I never noticed, through the whole night you were with me, just how broken you were. I never noticed quite as fully as I should have. Not when you made no protest to a forceful entrance that would have most screaming, not when you cried silently as we moved together, not when you dug your nails into my arms so hard it left me with scars.
You didn't leave after I rolled off you and laid next to you on the sheets that were now sticky. You turned on your side, facing away from me and curled in on yourself. You had no where else to go, no one else to turn to. I wondered vaguely then, if you knew how much I loved you.
I wanted you to know…
I hope you do know…
You lay now, not in my bed covered in my white sheets, but in a different place. You fit here, under the cherry blossom tree in your family's complex. It's a big tree, one with strength and beauty, and it's limbs curl to shade you from the spring morning sun. You once told me you loved mornings, spring mornings especially, and that when you were younger, you and your brother would come and lay next to each other under the cherry blossom tree while your mother watched the two of you.
Well, your brother isn't here, and I'm not your mother, but that doesn't mean I don't watch.
I watch you everyday…
And everyday the tears become less painful, less stinging. Everyday I become stronger and more beautiful for you. I'm no match for your strength, and no one could ever match your beauty, but I'm trying. I'm trying for you.
You told me not to be sad. You told me not to give in. Never surrender, even to the ones who claim to love me. Because no one could love me quite as fully, as desperately, as shockingly as you could.
And I miss you more and more each day…
It's been 3 months, 4 days, 15 hours, and 23 seconds…
…since you left me forever…
But I will never let you go.
Note: It's short, and it's sad, but I'm fairly happy with it. I really like this pairing, a lot, and plan to do more with them. Don't forget to request guys, there are plenty of people out there who go great with Sasuke. I'm in love with AU's too if anyone has noticed from my other stories. Hope you all liked! Send me feedback!