My life

What a bright little boy you are. I'm sure you will achieve great things…

I expect only the best from you. After all, you will be the one to succeed me and lead the clan…

What a genius, a child prodigy indeed! What a privilege to be able to have you around…

You're too weak! A ninja masks his emotions and will never show fear when in front of the enemy…

When I grow up I want to be just like you!

My son, you have finally succeeded me. I am proud of you, a perfect ninja with flawless skills and no emotions…

As a child I have been taught to always mask my emotions, for if the enemy were to be able to sense my fear, I would be killed. My father was strict with me and I was not allowed to make any friends. He said that with bonds I would falter, that I would not be able to achieve perfection if I were to have the slightest bit of connection with others. As a child, everyone admired me. I was said to be the child prodigy and everyone my age would kill to lead the life I lead, to have the attention that I received, to acquire the power that I had. I was the person everyone wanted to be and yet, I hated that I was me.

I've always wanted to lead a normal life, to not be burdened with the high expectations of everyone around me, to be ordinary, to be a "nobody". As a kid I've wanted to go to festivals, to play games and sit on rides but I was deprived of such a childhood. Instead, I trained in the arts of the ninja everyday, till bruises and scars were permanently stitched onto my 7- year- old body, till I bled, and till my body could no longer hold. But I would continue to stand, for I was not allowed to fall.

People say that the happiest times of their lives is their colourful childhoods, a time when they need not worry about the troubles of life. As a child, I can't remember a time when I felt pure happiness. On the surface, I might appear to be smiling, but that was how I was trained to be, to be polite to those around me, to greet the elders and to show respect to figures of authority. I would plaster a smile on my face but inside, I would feel a surge of emptiness, without a drop of emotion whatsoever, so much so that I was starting to ponder if I were an actual human being. Perhaps I was a robot, built and manufactured to please my father and the people around me.

People always tell me that they wish to be like me, but I wonder if they would feel the same after actually living the life that I lead. I may appear to be perfect on the outside, but what is perfection anyways? Could it be the fake emotions that I portray, the flawless skills that I've obtained, the "superior" blood and intellect that I had, or maybe it was the fact that I got good grades in pre- school.

I am referred to as a child prodigy but yet I lack the one thing that a person needs, love. I live in a grand mansion with servants waiting upon me, and yet my house is not a home that I would want to return to. It's just a shelter above my head with four walls to give me a little privacy. If no one loved me then how could I be perfect? Wouldn't I be just a "nobody" it no one could bring themselves to express any form of concern for me?

The only way that I can logically deduce that I am perfect, is through the fact that I am "nobody" and nobody is perfect. And thus I am perfect.