Ahh! Again, it's not an update!

I've been in a real Lily/James mood lately. And I've got a crush on a boy. (hehe, crushes are so much fun) So I thought I'd write this one for Lily, because it's cute and fluffy and that's what we all love about those two, right?

Unlike most of my stories, this one's based on experience. And it's pure fluff, no angst if I can help it. (Except for the silly girl angst because … I felt like it?)

Disclaimer: James, Lily and all the wonderful Potterverse characters belong to JK Rowling. I merely gaze upon the masterpiece of her vision. (I liked that one.) Also, what follows is a more or less accurate account of what goes on in my mind some days, and I'm certain it happens to many other girls as well. You have been warned.

Touch

History of bloody Magic.

Possibly the most boring subject ever devised by wizardkind. And the fact that the teacher was clearly bored to death (literally) hardly advocates further study.

I much prefer Potions. Or Charms.

History's worst on a warm day, too. No one really expects me to take notes, right?

Man, it's stuffy in here.

Maybe if I doodle on my page, it'll not only keep me awake, but it'll look like I'm doing work. I am supposed to set an example, after all.

Bloody hell, I could be doing my Transfiguration essay right now. I've got no idea where to start, and I've left it pretty late. Maybe I'll ask Potter about it.

I could write him a note.

No … no, I can't do that. We're not second years, for Merlin's sake. Passing notes! Bloody hell, Evans. Whatever you have to say can wait until after class, I'm sure. Besides, he looks like he's asleep.

He's pretty cute, really.

Is he … snoring? Merlin, what a loser. Binns'll notice if he gets much louder.

I'll just poke him with my quill.

…

Heh.

What are you looking at me like that for, Potter? No, I didn't wake you up to talk to you. I woke you up because you were snoring fit to wake the rest of the class from their well-deserved slumber.

He's rolling his eyes now, and settling back onto his desk. Boys.

He is cute, though.

Hmm. I wonder if he's noticed how close we're sitting. Maybe it's too close? Maybe I should move away a little.

Not too much though. For a start, he'd notice.

We're still pretty close, you know. If I lean forward on my desk a little, our elbows would be touching …

Wait! No, he'd notice that! What if he pulled away? What if he gave me a funny look? I'm not that kind of girl, Potter!

Honestly, I really am mental.

I mean, I think he likes me. Our friends keep trying to push us together, which is usually a good sign. He's not looking at me right now though – they could be making things up. I mean, what do they know? Did he say something to them? I mean, did he actually come out and say: 'Actually, boys, I think I like Lily Evans,'? Well, he wouldn't say it like that, obviously.

I wonder if he really does like me. What would he see in me? I'm not that interesting. He might just think we're friends – I mean, does anyone really know what boys think? How in Merlin's name do you tell? Surely if he liked me he would move to his right just a little bit, so that his elbow was touching mine …

I can almost feel him now. There's about an inch between us and it's the most solid inch of empty space I've ever come across in my life. Does he feel it? It doesn't look like he does. He's just staring at the blackboard, and his eyes are kind of glazed …

God, what if he notices me looking? He'll think I'm some kind of crazy stalker person. Look somewhere else, quick!

What if he picks up on me thinking about him? If I think about him too much, he might notice. Think about something else, think about something else …

Goblin riots. Yes. That's what I should be thinking about. Goblin riots.

…

I don't care about bloody goblin riots. And my elbow is all tingly. It's very distracting.

Bloody Potter. Why can't he just move his arm … just a little bit …

I need something to take my mind off this. This is not healthy. I mean, he probably doesn't even like me. I saw him talking to Hestia Jones the other day, they looked pretty chummy. And there's that girl in Hufflepuff who doesn't like me, she's been spreading rumours …

He probably only puts up with me because our friends are being annoying. I bet he just thinks that I'm crazy.

That's why he won't move his arm. He thinks that I'm some kind of mentally deranged girl who he has to put up with because we're in the same house. He probably doesn't even find me attractive. And now he's just trying not to pay any attention to me because he wants me to stop sitting so close …

Hey, that's my …

Potter, what are you …

Oh, you're writing a note. A note? Are we in second year, Potter?

'Cute picture' and an arrow. That's … nice, actually.

Man, he really is cute when he smiles like that. Blimey, I really should look away before he gets back to thinking that I'm crazy. What's Black up to?

Oh, sleeping. Ew, with his mouth open. And Lupin is …

Taking notes. No surprises there. Good little prefect … is Potter still looking at me?

Oh. He isn't. He's gone back to the blackboard. Well, that's all right. Don't want him staring at me anyway … it would be kind of creepy …

I wonder if my hair looks weird? And … oh God … I'm sure he must have noticed those spots on my face. Ick. I bet I look like a spotty orange haystack. Gross. What an image.

I do wish he would move his arm, though. Just for a second. The muscles all along my left forearm are tense, and I can't relax with his arm so close. For Merlin's sake, it's just an inch! I should be able to move across an inch of space, shouldn't I?

But then he'll think I'm weird, like some sort of weird girl that doesn't have any sense of personal space – what if he's very private about that sort of thing? What if I offend him? What if he stands up in the middle of the classroom and yells at me?

Geez, all over an elbow. Imagine what he'd do if I reached out for his hand.

Oh blimey. That's just brilliant, Evans. Now I'm thinking about his hand.

Oh bloody hell. What am I going to do? He's not even that cute!

No, that's a lie. He is that cute.

It's just that – oh, for heaven's sake! Now I've dropped my bloody quill. I'll just lean over to get it …

Right, I should be taking notes anyway. Or something. Listen, what is Binns trying to –

Er …

Is that …

Are we …

I seem to have miscalculated my position. Yes. That is definitely Potter's arm, there.

Right.

No need to panic.

Maybe he doesn't even notice?

Oh God. I can't look. Does he notice? He must, surely. Blimey, and I thought my elbow was tingling before.

His arm is warmer than I thought it would be.

Oh God. He still hasn't moved away! What if he's waiting for me to move? He isn't looking at me – is it because he thinks I'm weird? 'Why is this weird girl touching me?' – That's probably what he's thinking. Or maybe he doesn't even notice! Maybe he's totally indifferent to anything I do! What a horrid thought!

Oh Merlin. Look away, before he sees you were staring at him!

What is he nudging me for?

I'm not – what? What was with that grin? Maybe I should ask him after class. He's gone back to the board now.

His arm still hasn't moved.

I kind of like it there. And he doesn't seem to mind.

Maybe he does like me after all. I wonder if he'll ask me out. He'd probably want to do it in the middle of a big group of people, and I'd get all embarrassed and wouldn't know what to say. I hope he doesn't do it that way. Maybe he'll take me aside right after class, just take my arm and drag me into a secret passage or something, and say …

He'll say that he's actually liked me for ages, and that he would really like me to go with him to Hogsmeade on the weekend, and I'll say that I would like that too, and then I'd be his girlfriend and everyone would be happy for me and …

I wonder what kissing him would be like? Probably quite good, I'd imagine, if just touching his arm can send me down this path …

I'm nuts. I actually am. For heaven's sake, I have a crush on James Potter. Most of the time I don't even call him by his first name, but I still have a crush on him. That's weird. That's crazy.

That … sounds exactly like something I'd do, actually. What's wrong with me?

Oh God, this is ridiculous. I should pull my arm away right now, before he finds out how mental I am. I should just move back to how I was sitting before. I should.

I should.

But then he'll notice, and he'll think I don't like him. Then he won't ask me out, and he'll end up with Hestia Jones or some such girl, and who will I end up with? No one, that's who. I'll be all alone. No one else will want me. I'm too crazy. No, I can't move. I just have to stay like this.

Was that – was that the bell?

Ew, Black. That snort was disgusting.

'Prongs, mate. Let's go.'

'Sure. See you, Evans.'

Where is he - ?

'What? Oh, all right …'

James bloody Potter.

-

YES, that's right! A James/Lily story with no snogging! Shock! Horror!

Reviews?