a/n: sorry I haven't updated in such a long time-- I have been insanely busy and whatnot-- but I really hope that you like the update. Reviews would be fantastic and most likely speed my next posting! I really hope that you are still interested in reading this story :)
Unsurprisingly, Mark found himself in the small hospital bed with Addison that night. She had lost the one thing that she had firmly known that she loved and cared about, and there was nothing that anyone could do to change that fact. He held her as close as he could without irritating the incision or preventing her from breathing. Her body was pressed up hard against his, resulting in him being pressed up against the uncomfortable railing on the side of the bed, but he couldn't have cared less. He needed to be here for Addison, regardless of how he himself felt about everything that was going on.
Mark was absolutely heartbroken. This was the second time that a child conceived by himself and the love of his life had died, but this time was so much worse. It was been completely unexpected on both his part and her own. She had actually wanted to keep this child and had a lot invested in it—so many of her hopes and dreams. Not to mention the fact that this time the miscarriage was likely his own fault. He knew that Addison was prone to panic and anxiety attacks, and his violent outburst was something that not only was completely terrifying for her but was one of the triggers of hers that he was very well aware of. Not only had they spent many nights commiserating over how difficult it was to grow up with an abusive parent, but he had also seen her set off by this particular trigger on numerous occasions. If his outburst were the reason that their baby had died, he would never be able to forgive himself. It was beginning to feel like a bad omen. Maybe she was right—maybe there was always something wrong between the two of them. Still, so long as she wanted him (or needed him) to be around, there was no way that he was going to leave her, because whether or not things would ever work out between the two of them, she was the only woman that he had ever been able to love, and the only person aside from Derek's father who made him want to be a better man and think that he even had the potential to do so. Even more heartbreaking than the deaths of his two (and only, to his knowledge) children was the fact that he had literally watched Addison's heart break over the loss of this child. He had had to watch her heart break so many times in the past, but this was by far the worst. He knew what the fertility statistics were like for women of her age—not that she was old (he was still in denial about his looming 40th birthday) and he was aware of the fact that there was a chance that she would not be able to get pregnant again. Granted, he knew that there were exceptions to the rule—the fifty year old women who gave birth with no complications—but being a surgeon and having spent so much time with Addison over the years, he knew how truly rare that was. Not to mention that Addison was the best in the field and if anything should go wrong, there was certainly no way that she would able to operate on herself.
He did not want to make any assumptions about her fertility status, but he liked to be realistic (or, what normal people would refer to as "pessimistic"). He liked to be prepared for the worse because Mark Sloan was not a person who did well with disappointment. Fortunately, there hadn't been much damage done by the miscarriage, at least nothing that was irreparable. From looking at her chart, it didn't look like she should have any problem conceiving again, but he knew that there were a lot of factors that went into determining fertility potential. He didn't want to jump to any conclusions, and he desperately needed to stop thinking about how potentially devastating this miscarriage could potentially be for both of them. He knew that Addison had been exhausted and would likely sleep for a while longer, and he was about move extricate himself from the bed and the tangle of his limbs to aimlessly wander the halls when it occurred to him that he should probably let Naomi know what was going on.
Mark had found out the day before that Addison still had yet to change her contact person from Derek to anyone else (he had her medical history sent over from SGH as he had needed to so something to keep himself occupied while she was in surgery. The staff begrudgingly allowed him access to the phone and fax machine). He figured that it must have just slipped her mind—last he had checked, she still hadn't switched her PCP or GYN from the ones in New York. That would have been the first thing that the old Addison did after finalizing the divorce and casting the rings into a large body of water, but small things like that had been slipping her mind right and left ever since Derek left her in New York. Mark was sure that the hospital had contacted him—it was standard policy—but he was not sure whether or not he would bother to come down, so he figured that he should probably call Derek as well.
Mark very delicately disentangled himself from the mess that was their eight long limbs and pulled her cell phone out of his own coat pocket, having grabbed it before leaving the hotel the night before. Let it never be said that Mark does not think ahead—when under pressure, Mark dealt extraordinarily well—at least when there was physical danger involved. Matters of the heart were another story. He scrolled through the contacts on the phone, deciding on Naomi first—he could deal with his ex-best friend later. He also wasn't sure whether or not it would be beneficial for anyone to bring him out there. Derek could have been dealing with this news in one of two ways: he would either call her 'Satan' under his breath and pretend everything was fine, or he would have hopped on one of the next available flights from SeaTac to LAX-- after having cleared the board. He was Derek, after all. Mark sighed, glancing at this watch as the phone rang. It was actually close to being a reasonable hour, but Nae would likely not be excited about hearing his voice nonetheless.
"Addison, you better have a damn good reason for calling me so early in the morning or so help me--" Mark knew that he better act fast or she could ramble on for quite a while,
"Nae, it's me, Mark."
"Why do you have Addison's phone? What did you do to her?"
"Naomi, Addison's in the hospital. She had a miscarriage." He heard Naomi gasp,
"Oh my God. I'll be over there as soon as possible. Saint Ambrose?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. And Mark? I'm glad you're there."
"Me too." He hung up the phone, irritated that everyone always assumed that he was a menace, but glad that at least she had admitted her gratitude. He glanced at Addison who was still sleeping peacefully—that woman could sleep through anything—before deciding to go out into the hallway to use the phone in case some sort of argument started. Logically one shouldn't, but with Derek, one simply never knew.
"Derek Shepherd," came the exhausted answer. He had obviously not checked the caller ID before answering.
"Hey Derek, it's Mark."
"Mark, where the hell are you? I tried to call you for hours. Hours! Something--" Mark winced at the irritation, and also the realization that he had let his phone battery die.
"Happened to Addie. Yeah, I know, I was with her. What did they tell you?"
"Almost nothing. She had been admitted into the hospital and was in surgery. You're in LA?"
"Yeah, yeah long story. She collapsed last night—probably the result of an anxiety attack…"
"There's something you're not telling me."
"Are you going to come down?"
"Mark…"
"Derek, she was pregnant."
"Okay…"
"It was mine." There was a long silence that followed, and Mark was almost afraid that he had hung up.
"I'm in LA. My flight landed about fifteen minutes ago. I should be there soon." His voice was unreadable and almost devoid of emotion.
"Derek…"
"I'll see you soon, Mark." Mark sighed as the dial tone filled his ears. He went back into the room and sat in a chair by her side. Almost as soon as he sat down, he noticed the tell-tale signs that she was slowly rousing. She spun around quickly, wincing, when she realized that Mark was no longer in the bed with her. She relaxed considerably when she saw him there.
"Hey, Add. How are you feeling?" She glared at him evilly. "Okay, dumb question—but comparatively speaking." She sighed,
"I'm okay, you know, considering…and also very drugged up." Mark looked down at the floor, scuffing at the tile with his shoe,
"What…happened? It wasn't because…" She could tell that he was absolutely terrified, and to be honest, she doesn't exactly remember herself what happened.
"I…I must have been dehydrated. It wasn't your fault…I was upset."
"It was my fault. I upset you—I scared you and I am so sorry…" There were tears in his eyes and one of them actually managed to escape. She gently wiped it away.
"You had every right to be upset…and I knew that you would never hurt me. It was completely irrational…"
"But I still caused this. I upset you," a few more tears made their way down his face and her heart broke.
"No, no it was my fault. I thought that you were leaving me for good. I thought that I had pushed you too far away, and that was what set me off. It wasn't your fault."
"You sure?" She nodded affirmatively and reached out for one of his hands, gripping it tightly. They both heard the ruckus known as Naomi and Sam coming down the hallway at a mighty speed. Addison glared and mouthed,
"You told them?" He nodded and whispered,
"I had to call her—she's your best friend." Addison rolled her eyes, and then he continued at a normal volume, "Oh, and Derek is on his way." She looked at him questioningly and he responded, "Hey, it's not my fault you never changed your emergency contact!" She smacked his arm with her free hand.
"Smartass." He shrugged, grinning sheepishly just as Sam and Naomi burst through the door. Mark moved out of the way so that Naomi could fuss over Addison and hung back a little with Sam.
Addison was not excited at the prospect of having to put up with Naomi right now. She hadn't told Naomi, exactly, that Mark was the father of her child…nor did she know that the man-whore was even in L.A. (though in Addison's defense, neither had she).
"Oh my God, Addison! How did this happen?"
"I had a panic attack…or several…and I got dehydrated and collapsed."
"Why didn't that fool help you? He's usually so good at looking after you."
"I…told him to leave. And then…I kind of locked him out." Naomi rolled her eyes.
"What? Why? What were you thinking?"
"Nae…"
"No, seriously."
"Because…you know how we are. It's always zero to sixty with us. And there was a lot of baggage…and…somewhat ironically, I was panicked because I thought that I had driven him away. Stupid, huh?" Naomi fought the urge to agree.
"Not…stupid…just…"
"Don't lie."
"Okay, yes, stupid. Or maybe crazy. Regardless, it was very you, and ultimately, what happened happened. We can't change that. I'm just glad that you are okay…" she said, flipping through Addison's chart, "which you definitely are."
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Sam was not so discreetly giving Mark the evil eye. After several minutes of this behavior Mark finally spoke.
"What?" Sam looked surprised that Mark was addressing him.
"What?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because…you're you."
"Meaning what?"
"Meaning that I still have not forgiven you for what you did and continue to do to Addison, and I don't know what you did last night, but…" By this point Addison and Naomi had finished their own conversation and Addison piped in,
"Sam, that's enough. The only thing he did last night was save my life, so enough." Sam sighed, slumping considerably, thus dwarfing him even further beside the large man-whore. Mark grinned in satisfaction. Naomi stood up from the chair, looking at her watch,
"Well, Sam and I ought to get going—unless you want us to stay—and you know that we are just a phone call away, but we really should get over to the practice." Addison gestured to the door, indicating that they should leave,
"Scoot, get a move on, then! Pete, Vi and Cooper are even more childlike than Dell! Who knows what will happen if you don't get in on time!" she said, laughing slightly. Both Sam and Naomi rolled their eyes before saying goodbye and promising to call later.