Wherever You Will Go

Deus Ex Procella

Author's Note: Song lyrics are written in the following style+Blah+. Flashbacks are written in Italics

+So lately, I've been wonderin'

"Who will be there to take my place?"+

The whole setup was so horrendously cliché. The moon above was blocked out by dark clouds, preventing even a sliver of starlight from shining down on the sleepy city. Amidst the night there stood a lone figure, leaning against a safety rail and overlooking the nocturnal city from atop the apartment complex he'd long called home. The young man, tall and masculine with a toned body that could make any woman swoon, stared outward blankly as if he had become a gargoyle standing sentry against some wicked force threatening to disrupt the silent harmony.

His untamable green hair struck out every which way, almost smoldering apathy toward its management. Green eyes reflected a seemingly innate indifference to the world about him, though none would ever realize this about the young man. In fact, apathy was the last thing on Matsubara Dai's mind that lonely night. Had he been apathetic, he could be in bed sleeping far more peacefully than he felt standing atop that cold, unfeeling rooftop.

Seeing him during the day, no one would ever assume Dai could even comprehend the meaning of sorrow. He was always erupting with energy and flowing with compassion and charisma, lending much to the admiration of his peers. The star of Tokyo City High's soccer team—whose most valuable asset lay in his teamwork, along with his personal ability—and a gifted guitarist who attracted countless screaming fans to his band's concerts. While he wasn't exactly a star pupil, his grades were quite good enough to please his elders. During the day, Matsubara Dai was an inspiration to everyone around him, and seemingly a beacon of light to those in need of a hero.

+When I'm gone, you'll need love

To light the shadows on your face+

But when the sun set, Dai's mood sobered immensely. Although his ototokun and imoutochan never saw it, he couldn't hide his displeasure from his futaoya. They always saw through his seemingly impervious façade. This realization did little to ease any of the burden on Dai's shoulders, nor did he seek help or compassion from anyone to help him through his trying times.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath trying to imagine the sweet smell of her perfume, attempting to salvage the broken memories and bring them crashing back to the surface. Clear as day, he could see her smiling face, hear her beautiful voice and feel her warm body pressed against him, warding off the weight of the world and leaving him feeling helpless to her like a small child. The thought of being helpless and so secure at the same time, was very enticing and it was very much a feeling he longed to experience again.

He let out the breath he had been holding, his then shut eyes creaking open yet again to take in the dark sights before him. In the distance he could hear a car alarm to begin blaring, possibly reacting to a stray cat or dog. The air was humid and thick, bearing down on him quite heavily, and making the air smell stale. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat thinking about her yet again, trying to will away the taste of bile rising within him. The memory had become clear as day, painfully so.

It would fall upon us all.+

She stood stiff as a board, noting the look of extreme displeasure etched across his face. Dai looked up again, and the look in his eyes tore into her heart, making her wish she didn't have to be the bearer of such awful news.

"So…that's it? Mikochan? It's just…over?" Miko lowered her eyes, nodding very slowly, cringing back seeing the visible tremor run through Dai's body. "Doushite? Doushite, Mikochan?" When she hesitated to respond, he tensed and stood straight, crossing his arms and staring hard at her face. Miko was obviously not pleased with the turn of events, in all honesty she looked just as if not more torn than he presumably looked. Regardless, that meant very little to him, he wanted a reason now!

"Atashi…I'm leaving for England in the morning, Daikun, and I don't know if or when I'm going to be coming back." Dai cocked his head and the look about his visage tightened immensely.

"Soshite? Why is it suddenly so permanent? You've traveled out of the country a lot before." Miko's shoulders slumped and still she refused to face his assuredly angry expression.

"Otousan soshite Okaasan don't want me to see you anymore…I know it's…hitowarewase, soredemo Daikun. I'm going to attend college in England and…they think it's for the best if I don't see you anymore," Dai's hardened disposition collapsed, his arms dropping to his sides and a look of unbearable hurt spread across his eyes.

+In between the sand and stone,

Could you make it on your own?+

"Keredemo…doushite, Mikochan! Aishiteru, Mikochan even if your futaoya don't think it's best for you, it doesn't change anything!" The anger in his words and the sheer compassion behind them struck Miko like a bullet. She quickly turned away from Dai but she wasn't quick enough to hide the tears in her eyes, nor was she quick enough to fail noticing the same tears in his eyes.

"Wakarenai, Daikun…ashikarazu, Daikun, ashikarazu…"Dai didn't have time to become angry again, nor did he have the composition to be forgiving, as Miko took off leaving him standing alone and watching her retreating form. The further she got, the more the realization dawned on him and the heavier the burden on his chest and shoulders became.

+And maybe, I'll find out

The way to make it back someday+

That day began the greatest deception in the history of Tokyo City. The day that Matsubara Dai lost a part of himself he could never get over. The day the mask was made and the day the acting began. And even to that dark night, no one other than his futaoya had seen past his deception, and no one under the sun knew what had befallen the teen hero to leave him so desolate and lonely.

Was he bitter? Of course, any one would be bitter if they were forced out of an amazing relationship that had lasted nearly four years for their social standing. He wanted to hate her, he wanted to blame all of his pain and sorrow on Shirogane Miko, the girl who had ruined the person he used to be. Every night he wanted to find the strength to curse her name, the power to strip her of the power she held over him. Days upon days after the train wreck that effectively slaughtered him in cold blood, he wanted everything for Shirogane Miko to stop haunting him.

The more he wanted to hate Miko, the less bitterness he could conjure in the depths of his heart. The darker the day seemed, the longer the hours stretched and the heavier his chest thumped, the greater his desire, his physical need to hate Miko grew. Every day he suffered through the repercussions of their separation the longer and more painful the nights seemed. Finally that suffering became unbearable, when he came to the horrible truth, the wretched revelation.

+To watch you, to guide you

Through the darkest of your days+

Every thought he summoned in an attempt to curse Miko to Hades, every dark desire he wanted to have that would ruin her hold over him was torn asunder by that final image. Every day he told himself he needed to hate her, he needed to despise her, he saw the same tragic sight of Miko sobbing as she ran from him. That one image, the most vivid, surreal moment of his entire life was the force which single-handedly annihilated his hatred and his bitterness. He couldn't hate Miko, he couldn't curse her, and he could never resist her power over him.

Miko had been, and still was, the world to Dai. The reason for waking up in the morning, the reason he succeeded, and above all else she was the reason he kept going. Even when she destroyed his heart, his mind, body, and spirit continued onward, living on by the sheer force of will his love for her generated. It took weeks, on top of weeks, and it wasn't until his Junior year in high school began that he had finally come to grips with this startling revelation. Miko had been the person to break his heart, but…that image, the sound of her voice, the quaking in her chest as she painfully related her last message to him screamed to the world that for every fragment Dai's heart had been broken into, Miko's had been broken twice.

Twisted logic, that was what it was. Just an act of cruelty from the universe, for some kind of a sick satisfaction. Dai hadn't been able to see beyond his hand in his own hurt, and all too late realized he hadn't been the only casualty. It's a damnable feeling when the only person who can make you stop crying, is the person who made you cry in the first place. By that logic, it must be a hundred times worse when that same person who made you cry, was yourself.

+If a great wave shall fall

It would fall upon us all+

A small smile spread across Dai's lips, perhaps the first sincere smile he'd beheld since the day Miko had been taken away from him. Running his hand through his already messy hair—which only further ruined any attempt at order that may have been attempted—he coughed a small laugh of surrender.

+Well then I hope there's someone out there

Who can bring me back to you+

"Ore…you're suffering too, Koishiichan?" Dai shook his head and sighed lightly, leaning forward a bit more and resting his chin on his arms in a slightly awkward position. "I need you, Mikochan,"

+If I could, then I would

I'll go wherever you will go+

Dai looked up, half cringing and half grinning at the sheer cheesiness of the scene before him. The clouds were beginning to part and the light of the full moon was now shining down on him. He actually laughed and grinning up at the full moon, imagining that sometime, somewhere, Mikochan could possibly be looking at the same full moon and rolling her eyes at the melodramatics of the weather.

"Doushite, Ore dearou ueito, Mikochan."

+Way up high, or down low

I'll go wherever you will go+

Author's Note: I'm not going to provide rough translations for all of the Japanese used in this, but I do think it's important to understand Dai's last line, which should very roughly translate to "But, I will wait, Dearest" probably the most important line in this one-shot. Danke shön, ja ne.