Catch
Chapter Three: A Little Help (From My Friends)
by Clara

The Leaf was like nothing Ino had ever seen before. It was at least as big as Konoha Academy, but made it look like a shack in comparison. The ceilings were high and vaulted, the floor was shiny enough to see her reflection in, and everything was sparkling. People sat on the wall of an indoor fountain while waiting for their companions to get their rooms or check out.

Ino was terrified.

She was not like Naruto. She never quite got used industrialization. Elevators still terrified her. Sometimes she would take the stairs all the way up to the 49th floor of Konoha Academy just to avoid the elevator and claim she was just getting her exercise. She didn't like being enclosed in such a small box going up to such a high place.

The Leaf sort of reminded her of an elevator. One that was dropping out from under her feet extremely quickly.

But she was a ninja. Ninjas could handle reservations and check-ins and elevators.

Except checking-in was much more challenging than she thought. The poor man behind the counter had to walk her through everything twice and verbally give her a detailed map. Luckily, acting sillier than normal gave her the opportunity to mask her genuine confusion. Widening her eyes and pursing full lips caused the clerk to instantly forgive her.

"Your luggage has been sent ahead to your room," the clerk explained for the third time. He at least seemed more patient than normal. "You don't need to wait for it here."

Ino giggled and thanked him profusely, before turning and hurrying to the stairs, carrying her briefcase and small suitcase easily. She wouldn't let anyone near her baggage at the risk of them finding out just how heavy they were.

"Miss!" the clerk cried. "You're on the twentieth floor!"

Ino pretended not to hear him as she started up the first flight. Let them think she was going to learn a lesson the hard way. There was no way she was going to take an elevator if she didn't have to, especially not in a place like The Leaf.

Her room (which turned out to be a suite) was almost uncomfortably massive. She didn't think she would need a king sized bed, a large leather couch, a balcony, and a larger than normal ofuro. The bath resembled a spa. Tsunade must have helped out the owner of this hotel sometime in the past.

Ino hesitantly sat on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. There were cameras everywhere. She scowled. There had been cameras in the lobby, too. On her balcony, she was able to find one camera. Either Katsuo really did rule the world and was ridiculously curious at what happened at The Leaf, or the owner of the hotel was suspicious. It was probably more of the second than the first. She sighed and lit a cigarette. She absolutely hated smoking, but put on a show to make it look like she really did inhale.

A fly landed on the camera's lense. Ino glanced at it and scrunched her nose. "Ewww." She squished it with her cigarette. The camera sparked angrily and fizzed smoke and she relaxed against the railing, pulling out her portable phone.

Chouji answered after the second ring. He beamed at the screen. "Ino!"

"Hi, Chouji," she grinned. "Everything's going smoothly, so far. How's—" She caught herself. It was rude to call a friend and the immediately ask about someone else.

Chouji caught on quickly, though, and smiled. "He's fine. A little restless."

"Restless."

"Well, okay, so he took a shorter nap than normal. The students were surprised." Shikamaru had a horrible habit of assigning his students an especially hard project every day and then taking a nap while they worked on it. It never failed to surprise Ino that the students always quietly did their work without taking advantage of the situation. Shikamaru said it was because they were scared of him. Ino had a feeling Shikamaru trapped all their shadows.

"Has he said anything about me?"

Chouji fell silent and looked guilty, which meant he hadn't. Ino slumped against the railing. "Chouji. God. Please put me out of my misery if I become one of those stupid pining girls. I wasted all that time on Sasuke, and I cannot do that again with Shikamaru. It's too hard."

"I know, I know. And if he suddenly becomes an idiot for some reason, I'll put him out of his misery." They both cracked a grin at that, because it didn't make any sense. "Have you talked to him?"

"Not yet," said Ino after a moment. "I'm—"

"Well," Chouji interrupted cheerfully. "Here's your chance!" The image on her screen blurred with movement before focusing on a horrified looking Shikamaru. Ino was sure her expression matched his. Shikamaru's eyes darted angrily to the left where Chouji was still standing, and then there was the most awkward silence Ino had ever experienced in her life.

"Shikamaru." Oh god. He was there the entire time. He heard everything. Heat rose to her cheeks. For some reason, that made Shikamaru blush, too. So there they were, hundreds of kilometers apart, blushing at each other over teles. "Tell Chouji I'm going to kill him."

"Heard that!" Chouji's disembodied voice responded. "Well, I'll leave you too alone. I'll call you later, Ino!"

Now they were hundreds of kilometers apart, blushing at each other over teles, alone. Shikamaru cleared his throat. "This is so..."

"...troublesome," Ino finished, cracking a small grin. Shikamaru grinned back.

"I was actually going to say awkward. Or uncomfortable."

"It's that, too."

They both relaxed marginally, seeming to remember that before they kissed, they were best friends.

"How was your trip?"

"It was fine," Ino said, which meant she would tell him all about it when she was in a safer area. Shikamaru understood this and nodded. "Soooo, what's going on with us, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru blanched. Ino suppressed a grin. He really did suck with women.

"We should talk about this later." As in, never. "When you come home. Soon."

Shikamaru was worried about her. She smiled. "Yeah, soon. I shouldn't talk long, though. Don't forget about me."

"As if I could forget about someone as obnoxious as you," Shikamaru said, but he was smiling slightly.

"I'll take that as a promise." She smiled brightly and kissed the screen. When she pulled back, Shikamaru looked slightly appalled.

"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Hey!"

"It was like these two giant lips coming to eat me—"

Ino laughed. "Shut up. Miss you."

Shikamaru blushed. "Troublesome women."

"Troublesome men! Later, Shikamaru!" She closed the tele before he could respond, because she wanted the last word. She wiped the screen with her shirt.

The tele rang. Ino answered.

"Hey," Shikamaru said casually. Ino wanted to giggle, but she followed his suit.

"Hi," answered she, just as carelessly.

"So I was thinking."

"Yeah?"

Shikamaru kissed the screen. It really was a terrifying experience. Ino burst into laughter, even as he disconnected the call.

Shikamaru liked having the last word, too.

ooooo

Naruto ran full speed at Sasuke and Sasuke tensed in surprise. Naruto didn't stop—instead, he caught Sasuke around the waist and tackled him onto his couch, before perching his stomach like a deranged bird. Sasuke responded by attempting to smother Naruto with a pillow, but Naruto caught it in his mouth and didn't let go.

"That's fucking disgusting, Naruto," Sasuke grumbled. Naruto drooled messily on the pillow and Sasuke sighed. Sometimes he wondered if Naruto would ever grow up.

Naruto spat the pillow onto the floor and held up a scroll. "Mission."

"Oh, yeah?" Ignoring the fact he was being used as a human chair, Sasuke snatched the scroll out of Naruto's hand and opened it, quickly reading. Naruto peered over the top, reading upside down. He grinned. Naruto's canines were pointy.

"This should be interesting."

Sasuke frowned at him.

ooooo

The ballroom, Ino decided, was just as creepy as the rest of The Leaf. The Charity Gala wouldn't be for several more days, but there were several, smaller parties being thrown that she was subsequently invited to. Tonight there was a ball. Though she had arrived that night, Ino had forced herself to get ready and head down to the first party. She had to meet people, after all. Make connections.

Her dress was uncomfortable.

She had gone for something simple yet elegant. A black, strapless dress that clung to her body until her calves, where it flared out slightly. Her hair was pulled up in a simple twist and she finished the look with a white pearl necklace and white pearl earrings. It almost felt as if she were twelve again, bound with rolls and rolls of bandages in an attempt to keep herself from gaining weight.

People whispered about her, forgetting how to be discreet. Or rather, they were trying to be discreet but failed miserably since they were staring, anyway. Ino pretended to be oblivious about it. She figured it was because she was a new face who didn't have a date.

"Champagne?"

Ino had heard him walk up to her, but she pretended to jump anyway. "L-Lord Katsuo!" The stutter in her voice, however, was genuine.

He handed her the flute and smile charmingly. He was just as handsome in real life as he was in the picture. Ino's skin crawled.

"Please, call me Katsuo. Did you get my message?"

Ino nodded once and sipped the champagne, needing a moment to regain her composure. Her heart was pounding furiously. This may be her future murderer.

"It's nice to see a new face around here." His smile was genuine. "It gets kind of boring looking at the same people all the time."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too. I'm Hanafuda Ayame," said Ino, voice more bubbly than the champagne. "And I don't know. They seem interesting."

"I suppose you could say that." Katsuo leaned a little closer. "See the slender lady with black hair? Not that one, the one in the white dress. Her name is Mlle. Isa, from Wave Country. She just left her husband."

"That's terrible," Ino said, widening her eyes.

"Not really. He was sleeping with his secretary."

Ino frowned. "I can see why she would leave him, then."

"Oh, no. It's not for the reason you think." Katsuo grinned. "She was sleeping with his secretary, too."

Ino couldn't help it. She laughed, and it wasn't fake. When she looked at Katsuo again, he seemed a bit mesmerized.

"It's refreshing to meet someone like yourself," Katsuo said. "You're much more genuine than the rest."

Ino was struck by the irony. The constant bright smile was starting to hurt her cheeks. "Thank you."

"Would you like to accompany me to the Charity Gala?"

He was certainly forward. Then again, she supposed she would be too if she had his kind of money and power. "Of course!" she stuttered out, ducking her head to pretend like she was hiding a blush. "I'm flattered you'd want to take someone like me," she said softly, and believed that Chouji was possibly right when he said Katsuo would take one look at her and her mission would be done.

Katsuo's eyes were uncomfortably intimate. "I would love to get to know you."

Oh good lord. She wouldn't be surprised if his next request would be to join him in his bed. She set the champagne flute down. "Would you like to dance?"

"You read my mind."

Ino was not exactly the best dancer in the world. She never really had the opportunity to learn. But she followed his lead and pretended like she was learning a complicated kata where she had to do everything he did, but backwards.

"You're tense," he murmured in her ear. She shivered, not from pleasure.

"I'm unused to having so many eyes on me," she whispered back. It was true. Everyone there was watching her and Lord Katsuo.

"I find that hard to believe. You're beautiful."

For god's sake. Could he get any smarmier? For a moment, she desperately missed Shikamaru. At he wasn't oily. "Thank you." She smiled sweetly at him.

"I insist you dance only with me for tonight. I couldn't bear to see you in another man's arms."

Well, this is what she wanted, right? This was her mission. Make Lord Katsuo fall for her, and then slit his throat. He was just making it easier for her. "I wouldn't want to dance with anyone else," she giggled. "I doubt anyone could dance as well as you."

He got that strange, entranced look again, and not for the first time since they started dancing, Ino wanted to run in the opposite direction. He didn't let go when the first song ended, merely changing paces for the second song. People were starting to whisper again. It looked strange for a well-known bachelor to dance only with one person.

By the fourth dance she requested for a break, pretending to be out of breath and thirsty. He brought her another flute of champagne, which she sipped when he was looking, and threw back when he wasn't, reaching to grab another from behind his back.

By the end of the night, she had enough alcohol in her system to pretend like she was drunk. Most the guest were already completely faced, so she didn't have to worry about looking out of place. Even Katsuo appeared to be slightly tipsy.

"Let me take you to your room," Katsuo offered, arm snugly around her waist. Ino giggled and leaned heavily against him.

"Ah ah." She poked his chest playfully. Hard as a rock. Katsuo was probably stronger than he looked. "Not on the first night." She unfocused her eyes. "Maybe on the second."

"I'll remember that," Katsuo promised, stopping at the elevator. Ino frowned at it. "Besides," he continued, oblivious to her sudden discomfort, "I really should stay and mingle. Do you think you'll make it to your room all right?"

Ino swatted his arm gently. "Of course. All I have to do is go up." She looked up and pointed up, and stumbled backwards. He tightened his grip and she turned her head to face him.

"Join me for breakfast," he insisted, looking down at her. She giggled and nodded, and he swooped down and kissed her.

It was dry and boring. Like paper. He even tasted boring. Ino frowned against his lips and flung her arms around his neck, deepening it. Still boring. But he dragged it on torturously for a long and unexciting moment. Finally, he pulled back and gave her that weird, dazed look, smiling brightly.

"Wow," he said.

"Yeah," Ino agreed, hoping she looked dazed and not disinterested.

"You're an amazing kisser."

"You too." She smiled brightly and stood on her tiptoes, giving him another quick kiss. Luckily, the elevator doors opened before he could trap her in a tedious make-out session. "Goodnight, my lord."

"My lady," Katsuo said with a smile. Ino stepped into the elevator and smiled at him until the doors closed. She held the close button down. When she felt his chakra disappear, she punched the open button and escaped to the stairs.

In the safety of her balcony, Ino flipped her phone open and dialed Shikamaru's number. When he answered, there was a grumpy frown-line between his eyebrows. His hair was down and, from what Ino could see, he was topless.

"Ino," he said sleepily, rubbing an eye. Ino's heart pounded. She got more excited just looking at Shikamaru. "What time is it?"

"Two a.m." she said, leaning on the balcony and smiling at him. He blinked at her, gaze sharpening.

"Fuck," he exhaled.

Ino blinked. "Hm?"

"You should keep that dress."

Ino put her hand to her face. She couldn't fake a blush, but Shikamaru could make her color with just a look. "I can't believe it. You're a pervert."

"Am not." Shikamaru smiled lewdly and leered. Ino wished she could hit him. Shikamaru chuckled because he knew what she wanted. He lit a cigarette even though she glared at him.

"At least don't do that in your room."

"Why are you calling so late, Ino?" he asked, tilting his head to carefully puff out a smoke ring. Show off.

She waited until he took another drag from his cigarette before she spoke again. "I was kissed." He choked, of course. "Told you those weren't good for your health."

"You did not," he wheezed, coughing a bit.

"Well, they're not."

Shikamaru waved his hand in annoyance, eyebrows furrowed. "He kissed you? Already?"

"Yeah."

Shikamaru looked murderous.

Ino smiled. "It was boring."

"Boring."

"Excruciatingly boring. It was dry and proper and—god, don't you get it?" She was getting excited. Maybe she was a little drunk. "You kiss me once and—and I'm ready to crawl all over you. Oh god. What the fuck am I saying? I'm kind of drunk." Okay, that was a good excuse. Shikamaru was looking a little stunned. "You kissed me once and—and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe, Shikamaru. One kiss. One. I made out with that guy and it nearly put me to sleep. And it was slimy. His kiss. Not ours. Ours was like—god, I can't even put it into words."

Shikamaru's Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. "Ino—"

"He even tasted boring. You taste like cigarettes, which should be absolutely disgusting, but you tasted like something more and I keep thinking about it and—god, I want to kiss you so badly and just hold you and you can stop me any time now Shika—"

"Ino," he graciously cut her off and she closed her mouth quickly.

"Ow."

He looked confused.

"Bit my tongue," she explained, hand against her lips.

"Ino," he looked as frustrated as she felt. "I can't do this without you. I can't function correctly. Finish your mission soon."

"Okay," she said a bit meekly behind her fingers.

"Don't sleep with him," he growled, and her lips twitched.

"Right. Goodnight, Shikamaru."

"Goodnight, Ino."

ooooo

Breakfast the next morning found Katsuo and Yori at a table out on one of The Leaf's many terraces. Katsuo had his portable computer out and was typing away, pausing only to reach for his coffee. Ino stood at the glass doors, holding her bowl of fruit uncertainly. The top button of Katsuo's shirt was undone and his ponytail was a bit loose, and he exuded an air of power and superiority. He still freaked Ino out a little, even if he was a boring kisser.

"Ayame!" Katsuo stood up quickly, standing up to stride purposefully over to her and kiss her welcome. Still boring. And cocky. She kissed back, because it was the proper thing to do, but her eyes weren't all the way closed. His computer sat open at the table and was much more interesting than the kiss.

Bingo.

"Good morning, Katsuo," she breathed out sweetly. Yori was giving her that pinched look. She sort of wanted to stick her tongue out at him.

"I'm glad you could make it. You look absolutely stunning."

"You don't look too shabby yourself," Ino said, caressing his arm. Yori looked even more pinched.

"Sit down, please."

She took the seat next to Katsuo's and didn't frown when he closed the laptop.

"Did you have a good night's rest?"

"Yes, the beds are so comfortable, here!" Ino giggled, peeling a grape.

"I don't know," Yori said stiffly, "I find The Leaf's accommodations sub par."

Ino's smile dropped. That was a dig at her.

"I'm glad you had a nice rest," Katsuo said, beaming. "Yori, you're fired."

"What?"

Ino was equally surprised. Sure, she expected Katsuo to reprimand him in some way, but not to fire him.

"Now, now. It was going to happen regardless. I've found someone better. He'll be arriving this evening. Run along, now." He turned to face Ino. "Would you like to visit the city with me today?"

"Um, sure," Ino said, eyes wide.

"That's good." Katsuo smiled gently at Yori. "Are you still here? Go on."

Yori stood up, entire body quaking, and walked out with as much dignity as he could muster.

They spent the day exploring the city. Katsuo would stop and point things out to her, describing the historical meaning and how he, in some way, owned it. Ino spent most the day smiling blandly and nodding, feigning interest and wishing she could just kill him and get it over with. Sometimes he would get a call and completely forget about her, yelling into the phone distractedly. Ino was especially interested in these conversations. She made mental notes of the names of businesses or people he would shout.

Everybody watched him. Everybody knew him. Nobody stopped him, though—which was unsurprising because Katsuo's bodyguards made it completely obvious they were armed and aware.

She told him stories about her life that were completely untrue. What it was like to grow up as the eldest of a prominent business man. She made up intricate and amusing and cliché tales about her and her 'friends', how she 'borrowed' her mother's most expensive dress for a school dance and of course ruined it with punch, how her father would always bring her and her family to all the different countries while he went on business trips. She explained each trip in great detail—Ino had been to almost every different country, it was true, but it was usually to assassinate someone.

She left that part out.

Ino couldn't help but to enjoy the city. It was large and rambling and complicated. She wanted to explore the darker parts, perhaps with Shikamaru and Chouji. She wanted to meet the people who held the city together. With Katsuo though, she was as much as an untouchable fixture as the labyrinth-like skyscrapers.

By the time they returned to the hotel, the sun was setting. Ino acted as if she were tired, dragging her feet a bit and leaning on Katsuo's arm. The day had been filled with stolen kisses. It made her mouth feel ashen.

"If you are interested," Katsuo had propositioned during lunch that day, "you should come visit it me in my room. I'm staying in 3032."

Ino had giggled and said, "we'll see."

In the lobby, a girl with long blonde hair threw herself into Ino's arms.

"Big sis!"

"Naru—" Ino yelped, eyes huge. But Naruto's whiskers were hidden under layers of make-up and he was very much a she, though her pigtails were replaced by one long ponytail. "Naruka! What are you doing here?"

"Don't be silly! You knew I was going to be arriving tonight," Naruto fluttered, clinging to Ino's arm. "Or did you forget? God, Ayame, I told you a million times. At least I think I did. Or did I forget?" She touched her lips thoughtfully and looked at the ceiling. "Oh well! Aren't you happy to see me? Besides, it's so unseemly for a woman to travel alone."

Naruto was a frighteningly good actor. Ino was stunned. Katsuo was staring.

"Oh. Oh! You're—you're Lord Katsuo! Oh my god, Daddy will be so amazed! He's always admired you ever so much."

Ino wasn't sure if she should burst out laughing or what.

Katsuo seemed to regain his composure. He took Naruto's hand and kissed the back of it. "It's a pleasure to meet you, my dear. I see Ayame's good looks run in the family"

No matter how good an actor Naruto was, she could not keep the look of absolute horror and disgust from her face. Luckily, Katsuo's head was ducked down, and when he looked back up she was all smiles again.

"Oh my, you're quite charming."

And there was Sasuke, coming up to stand next to Naruto. His own spikes were combed back and he looked more than a little annoyed. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm.

"This is my husband, Ren!"

It was Sasuke's turn to look horrified. Actually, his expression didn't change much, but Ino had spent a good chunk of her life watching Sasuke, and she knew he was absolutely appalled. She supposed that hadn't been a part of their plans.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Katsuo bowed and smiled. "I'll be sure to see you at tonight's party? Ayame, I had a wonderful day with you. I'll see you tonight." He ducked down and kissed her gently.

The three didn't say anything until they got to Ino's balcony. As soon as the glass doors shut behind them, Ino and Naruto shuddered.

"Ugh. Ino. That guy is a creep." Naruto sat on the railing and rubbed the back of her hand fiercely.

"What are you doing here?" Ino hissed, though a large part of her was relieved. Though she was fully confident in her skills, Ino was sure not even Naruto or Sasuke could pull a mission like this off on their own. Back-up was always appreciated.

"We're here to help!" Naruto said cheerfully. Sasuke looked as if he wanted to push Naruto off the railing. Ino smirked.

"As husband and wife."

Naruto had the decency to look flustered. "Dude. Okay. That guy was skeezy. Did you see how he was looking at me?"

Ino grinned.

"Thanks, Ino," Naruto grumbled sarcastically. "Hey, hey! This place is awesome. And really bugged. But you have a big screen TV!"

Sasuke rubbed his temples as Naruto ran back into the suite to explore and probably break some cameras.

"So, why wasn't I invited to the wedding?" Ino asked jokingly.

"Shut up," Sasuke grumbled.

"I'm sure Naruto made a very lovely bride."

Sasuke once again looked horrified and slightly ill.

"Cigarette?" Ino offered, holding the pack to the man she once loved. He took it.

"Stupid idiot," Sasuke grumbled about the blonde who had just bumped into one of the large speakers and broke a vase which had a tiny camera hidden in one of those intricate engravings.

"Maybe a little," Ino agreed, fondly.

ooooo

Naruto absolutely hated dresses.

Ino had to force her into a dark blue evening gown for the night and had practically choked her with the silk scarf she was supposed to wear loosely around her neck. Ino had combed her hair and pulled it up into a twist similar to Ino's, leaving a few curls to frame Naruto's face. And then, to make matters even more unbearable, Ino had put more make-up on her. The foundation used to cover the whiskers was bad enough, in her humble opinion.

"You know," Naruto had whispered to Sasuke as they entered the ballroom. "If you were my friend at all, you would put me out of my misery."

"Sorry, honey. No can do," Sasuke whispered back. They were walking arm in arm and pretending to look completely in love, though Naruto kept stepping on Sasuke with her heel and Sasuke kept pulling out strands of Naruto's hair, one by one.

"I hate you," Naruto grumbled. She smiled lovingly up at Sasuke and ground her heel on his foot.

"The feeling is more than mutual," Sasuke growled back and yanked out at least five strands of Naruto's hair at once.

Ino shoved them both on the small of their backs. "Move it, you two. Just be thankful this isn't a dancing party."

Both of them shuddered. Ino rolled her eyes and broke away from them, heading straight for the champagne table.

"Allow me," a smooth voice said and a champagne flute was handed to her.

She took the glass and smiled thankfully up at the man.

She dropped the glass. It shattered and spilled all over her shoes.

"Clumsy," Shikamaru said with a smile. "Napkin?"

end chapter three