I do not own Billy and Mandy. If I did, would I really put this on a fanfiction site?
-3-
The next day was a bright and sunny day…heh, I'm kidding. It was actually raining pretty hard.
Mandy woke up and yawned. She looked out her window. "Darn…maybe I should've taken today off instead." She got out of bed, showered, and put on her work clothes. She went back into the bedroom to see her husband was still asleep. "Lazy, good-for-nothing…" She shook Billy by his shoulders.
"F-five more minutes, Mommy…" Billy droned as his eyelids opened halfway and shut again.
Mandy slapped him in the face.
"Okay! Okay! I'm up!"
The blonde nodded at a job well done and left the room. Along the way she stopped at Penelope's room. 'Hmm…she's usually awake by now,' she thought. 'Doesn't Scott's alarm clock smashing wake her up?' A scary thought occurred to her. 'I didn't hear it either!'
She ran to Scott's room and peered inside. She gasped. "Scott!"
Billy ran up to her. "What's wrong?" He looked inside the room. "AAAAAHHHHH!!!"
On Scott's bed was a large wad of wiggling spider silk. In the corner of the room stood…
"Jeff?" Mandy was shocked to no end. "What…what did you do to Scott?"
"Huh? Oh! Hey, Mom! I'm just gonna inject him with spider venom so he'll expire and Dad will accept me as his son again," Jeff said in a nonchalant manner.
"You didn't inject him with it yet, did you?" Mandy asked.
"Nope! But I was about to."
"Okay." Then she slapped him. "Let him go, Jeff, or I'll beat you within an inch of your life!"
"Okay, okay!" Jeff cried as he undid the silky web entombing the blonde boy. "I just wanted Dad to love me again."
"Well, you have a nice way of earning his love," Scott groaned sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't know what came over me," Jeff said, frowning. "I guess I was…jealous…"
Billy was too shocked and scared to speak, so Mandy spoke for him. "I think you should go, Jeff."
The spider nodded, admitting defeat. As he left the room, he turned to Billy. "I love you, Dad."
Billy just stared at his feet.
Jeff sighed and left the house.
"You know, I didn't really like him, but I kinda feel bad for him," Billy said.
Mandy shrugged. "Well, anyone that tries to waste my son after all those painful hours it took for me to…well…'push him out'…is on my most-hated list for sure."
"Ooh! I remember when I was on that list!"
-X-
"What happened to Jeff?" Penelope asked a few days later.
"Dis girl's kinda slow, huh?" Grim chuckled.
"Jeff hasn't been here for days, sweetheart," Mandy said, slightly twitching from saying the word "sweetheart".
"Aww…I thought I was gonna have another brother to play with," Penelope sighed.
"I'm sure he'll visit us again someday," Grim said, attempting to cheer her up.
"Who'll visit us?" Penelope asked dumbfounded.
The others looked at each other with raised eyebrows. "Uh…Santa Claus!" Billy finally exclaimed. "Yeah! He'll visit us someday."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" Penelope gleamed, running around stupidly until she ran into the fridge and fell over.
"Hard to believe she's your kid, huh?" Mandy asked Billy sarcastically.
"Nah, I did that just last week," Billy chuckled as he put on his fry cook apron.
"I feel sorry for your customers, Billy," Grim droned.
"Hey, if Freckle Burger hired my dad, they can hire me, too," Billy said as he walked out the door.
"Yeah, well your dad was also fired, too," Grim said monotonously to no one in particular.
-X-
EPILOGUE TIME!!!!!!!!! (YAY!)
"So, what did we learn today, Scott?" Penelope asked.
"I learned that being a middle child sucks," Scott replied.
"And?"
"I learned that spiders will kill you if they think you're stealing their dad."
"And?"
"…I don't know. What else did we learn today?"
"Santa's coming! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
"Uh…Penelope, it's April. Santa doesn't come 'til December."
"He's still coming, though."
"…Are you sure we're related?"