Title: Pin the Tail on the Moony

Rating: T for…slight wrongness, a little language, and mistreatment of poor Moony.

Genre: Humor.

Summary: Padfoot agrees to play a very interesting game. Will Moony figure it out or remain endearingly oblivious?

A/N: Is it wrong that I thought of this?

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Chapter One: Mayonnaise and Moony.

It is an October afternoon, and we find our seventeen year old heroes James Potter and Sirius Black sitting about Ye Olde Gryffindor common room. Peter Pettigrew happens to be lying unconscious on the floor.

"Well, that was interesting….he never stood a chance, the poor slob," Sirius said.

"He sure does need some practice. How is going to survive in the real world?" James questioned.

"Eh, he'll probably mooch off of you for the rest of your life."

"I suppose."

"Because he won't get anything from me if he comes to my door crying about how he can't open his mayonnaise."

"Huh?"

"…Never mind."

There was a lengthy pause. Sirius twirled his wand and James stared at the light moving in and out of the windows.

"So.."

"So. "

"So, what do we do now since Wormtail's unconscious…again?" asked Sirius.

"Hmm…" James put on a thinking face, placing his hand to his chin. "Well, we could--"

"Something not involving Lily."

"Damn." James thought to himself again, obviously desperate for an original idea. "I don't think I've ever been this desperate for an original idea."

"Hey," Sirius yelped, "have you seen Moony around here lately?"

"No, he's probably making love to his books. Why?"

"Well, he's the one that usually comes up with all the good plans when we…when we…" Sirius faltered for a moment. Then he whispered, fearful of discovery. "…Can't think of anything original."

"Well then, why don't you go get him?"

"…I don't feel like getting up."

James rolled his eyes, yet he agreed. "Me either."

Another lengthy pause.

"Moony…" Sirius began to whine in childish mock-despair. "Moony….Moony, where are you? MOONY! MOONY--"

"Sirius! Why don't you just get your arse out of here and go find him?"

"I'm not moving from this spot until we have a brilliant idea!" he grumbled.

However, Sirius' grumbling was answered in the nick of time. Remus Lupin peeked his head around from the staircase.

"Did I hear a little boy call my name? Oh, I see you've made Peter unconscious…again."

"Little boy? Humph."

"Sirius is whining because," James looked around the common room warily, "because we…can't think of anything original to do." Remus stared in pretend shock.

"What? Is it possible to use those words together in a sentence like that?"

"It's possible now," Sirius cried, "Help us, Moony! You're our last hope!"

"Look," Remus sighed, "why don't you just…play a game? Do you always have to inflict violence on people to make life interesting?"

"Yes."

"It's what I live for!" James shouted, fist shaking in the air.

"And Moony…" pouted Sirius. "We want to live."

Remus just shook his head and smiled. Then he proceeded to head back up the stairs because the last story of Arabian Nights was waiting for him. You cannot compete with Arabian Nights.

"No! Moony, my love! Come back! He's holding me hostage! He's making me open mayonnaise! He--"

"Wait." James stopped Sirius' ranting, putting a hand in the air. He had a diabolical glint in his eye and a diabolical smile.

"I know that look!" Sirius exclaimed. "It's Diabolical Prongs!"

James nodded. "We're going to play a game."

"Oh." Sirius was vaguely disappointed by this lack of violence.

"But not just any game. Do you know 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey?'"

"Pin the Tail on the what now?"

"Oh Padfoot, my pureblood friend, it's a Muggle children's game. Lily told me about it the other day. She said I didn't know much about the Non-Magic Folk as I should, so she told me about her childhood memories."

"Wait, you had a conversation with Lily…and you listened to each other? That is a giant leap for you, my friend. Now tell me about this game. Is it…diabolical?"

"Not exactly. Usually you have a group of small children and there's a picture of a Donkey on the wall with no tail."

"Huh?"

"Just let me finish. There's a tail, usually some kind of string that has a sticky thingamabob on one end. When someone has their turn, they get blindfolded and spun around so they are 'pleasantly disoriented' as Lily said--"

"You mean dizzy."

"Yeah, whatever. Then they have to head towards the wall while blindfolded and try to stick the tail where it should go on the donkey. If they get it right or the closest out of everyone, that person wins."

"What do they win?"

"I dunno…deep satisfaction?"

"All right. Why was Lily telling you about this particular game, anyway?"

"Oh, it was one of her worst childhood memories. She accidentally stuck the tail on her friend Susan."

"So?"

"Well, the thingamabob on the end was pretty sharp."

"Ouch." Sirius cringed.

"Yeah, they had to take her to the hospital to fix her eye."

"Her eye?"

"Yeah, Lil doesn't have the best sense of direction. She said she was too afraid to face Susan after that."

"Poor Lily…I never knew she was capable of so much violence."

"Yeah," James sighed, "Isn't she amazing?"

"Whatever you say, mate." Sirius rolled his eyes. "So…this is it, huh? Just some little game?"

"Oh, but we are going to make this much, much more interesting. Walk and talk with me, my friend."

James slung an arm around Sirius, then they exited Ye Olde Gryffindor common room.

In the common room, there was silence, and a few birds twittering outside. The curtains swayed slightly, and the last of the fire snapped. Peter Pettigrew blinked his eyes and slowly sat up, looking around.

"Hey…where is everyone?"

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A/N: Yes, I didn't want to leave poor Peter unconscious…I enjoy writing about them. Reviews are much appreciated! By the way…this isn't meant to be epic, in case you haven't figured that out already, heh heh…Sorry for the shortness, too.