Summary- So I said that this story was going to be up by Saturday but something came up so I wasn't able to post. Since I had today off I decided to do what I said I was going to do on Sat and post this today. I am so glad that people reviewed my last two stories and I hope people enjoy this story.
This story will deal with slash but later on in like the fifth or sixth chapters, flashbacks of abuse, and maybe some self harm and drug and alcohol abuse. There will even be mentions of child abuse so if you can't hack it then don't read it because I'm not changing my story.
Now on to the Disclaimer Now on to the Review Shout Out Corner
Disclaimer: I don't own Scrubs or any characters assiociated with the show. I do however own any character you see that has never appeared on the show such as any police officers or doctors that are used.
Review Shout out Corner
I want to thank everyone who reveiwed my last story. I can't get enough of them and I want everyone to know that I would love if you review this story. I haven't have the time to respond to the reviews left on the last chapter but I will make sure that I do that in Chapter 2. Much love to everyone out there.
P.S whoever gives me the best review have the next chapter dedicated to them (j/k) but I will be dedicating my chapters to my most loyal readers just because I love you all so much
Now on to Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.
J.D felt the tears fall from his eyes as he watched the church fill with people. They were all here to honor the person that was willing to give their life for his. On some level, he couldn't help but feel that everything that happened was his fault. That if he hadn't been so nice and naive about everything around then they wouldn't have gotten involved.
The people sat around him but to J.D, they didn't really exist. All he could think about was the night that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"BP dropping"
"Vitals weak, losing a lot of blood."
"What do we have"
"Gunshot wound to the chest, may have possibly hit the heart, lost a huge mass of blood on the way over. Heart rate is 50 over 180, had to resuscitate once in the ride over here."
"I need 60 units of O neg right away."
"Okay lift"
"We need the OR right away or this guy is going to die."
"Page Dr. Miller."
"Alright doctor."
J.D watched as the herd of doctors and nurses began to roll someone that he loved into the available surgical room. He had tried to go into the room too but one of the officer's that came into hospital with him held him back, preventing him from doing so.
"Sir you can't go in there"
"I need to go in there" J.D cried as he pushed the stranger away from him. He tried to run into the room again but the officer wouldn't let him go.
"You can't go in there."
"You don't understand, I need to be in there" J.D said finally collapsing in the officer arms. "I need to be in there for when he dies."
On that morning
When this life is over
I'll fly away
Ohh when I die
Hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away.
The church was quickly filled and J.D was surprised that they knew that many people. Friends going as far back as high school came to pay their respects and J.D pretended that he was glad that everyone was there but he wasn't. He just wanted his life to go back to the way it was, before the stalker and the kidnapping but J.D knew he would never have that life back. As far as he was concerned, his life was over.
"J.D, we have to go"
"No, I don't want to."
"We have to go"
"No" J.D hissed as he threw the suit on the floor. "I don't want to go because I'll have to say good-bye and I don't want to."
"J.D I understand"
"No you don't" throwing whatever he could to the floor before falling down on it himself. "He's dead and he's never coming back; never coming back, don't you get that. How am I supposed to live without him, huh Turk; how am I supposed to be live without him."
"I don't know" he silently replied back as he dropped down to his knees and wrapped his arms around his best friend. It was all that he could do for his friend.
"Me neither" crying as he let himself be cradled in his best friends arms.
Every breath I take
Every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you.
J.D listened to the minister say nice things about the dearly departed yet he knew that he nothing about the man he was burying. The priest didn't know how the man had a heart of gold even if he didn't show it all the time. He couldn't recall the amount of time that was especially devoted to him even when J.D didn't realize it. How could he not notice all the good things that had happened between them, all the good things that he let slip away.
It made J.D hurt even more when he thought about all those time that he turned his back on him. Blamed him for things that happened in his life, even when he knew that it wasn't his fault. He wished he could go back in time and tell him that he didn't mean any of those words that he ever said.
I'm sorry for
Blaming you
For everything
I just couldn't do
And I hurt myself
By hurting you
"J.D" a fuzzy voice cried to him from a distant. "J.D can you hear me." J.D vision became blurry as he tried to stand up to face the voice. Everything around him started to spin and darkness started to surround his entire body as he fell to the ground.
Turk called out desperately to his friend. Ever since he got the phone call that told him J.D was alive, he quickly got into his car and made his way to the hospital that J.D was located in. He had to come by himself because Carla and Elliot had got called in to work and the hospital was about forty-five minutes away, but the way Turk drove he arrived there in thirty.
He rushed into the hospital room and the first thing he did was grasp. He saw his best friend lying in the quiet room surrounded by machines he was used to seeing. What he wasn't used to seeing someone who knew covered in cuts, burns and bruises. Turk noticed how pale and bruised J.D was, the way his usually neat hair was covered all over his face.
Walking closer to the bed, he pulled the chair up to J.D and grabbed his hand. Turk knew that he usually wasn't a sentimental person but something about seeing J.D in this condition, he found himself wanting to cry. Quickly wiping his eyes and removing any tears he found himself wanting to see if J.D was stable enough to wake up. He just wanted to hear the sound of his friends voice again, it was the only way he would be able to be okay.
"J.D" he softly cried out. "J.D can you hear me"
Opening his eyes J.D looked around the room and saw that he was inside a hospital bed. The voice became clearer as well as J.D's eyesight as he noticed the person standing beside his bed was Turk. Turk held a firm grip on his hand as he smiled as big as he could.
"J.D, thank God you're awake."
"Turk…what happened"
"You blacked out when they found you, been unconscious for about six hours now."
"What, what about -why aren't we at the funeral." J.D whispered.
"J.D what funeral"
"The funeral, Kenny shot him…he didn't make it"
"J.D" Turk replied sitting down on the bed. "There wasn't a funeral because he isn't dead."
"What"
"The bullet pierced his heart and barely missed his spine, but the doctors here were able to fix it. Right now he needs to get a lot of blood transfusions but they say that he'll make it."
"So you're telling me that he's okay." J.D whispered again as tears began to fall from his eyes. "Are you telling me that-"
"Yes J.D, he's okay. Your brother made it."
The words hit J.D's ears and relief washed over him. He realized that everything that had just happened had been a dream. No, not a dream but instead, a nightmare. A nightmare that showed him the death of Dan. He couldn't control the tears that fell from his eyes as he tried to unhook himself from the IV.
"J.D man what are you doing."
"I have to go, I have to go see my brother" J.D cried as he pulled out the IV and grabbed the side of the bed to pull himself up but Turk pulled him back down again.
"J.D man, you can't go see him yet; you need more rest"
"Dammit I don't need rest, I need to see my brother." J.D screamed as he tried to push Turk off of him but the soreness in his body and the lack of energy in his system caused him to put up a weak battle. Turk easily placed him back down on the bed but J.D continued to scream and kick him as hard as he could. Realizing that he get himself hurt, Turk did the only thing he could.
"Let me go you bastard" J.D yelled at his friend. "Let me fucking go now"
"I need a nurse and a sedative now" he screamed into the intercom as he best friend continued to scream vulgar things at him. A nurse quickly came into the hospital and Turk stuck the needed in J.D's arm. He watched as the kicking, screaming decreased, and his friend became motionless on the bed.
Perry had been inside J.D's room ever since Turk came out of it three hours ago. The panic look on his face showed Perry that something had happened between the friends and he thought that he should be in there when J.D woke up again. He had made the surgeon go to someone and clear his head; maybe even some sleep along the way. Perry had promised to call Turk if anything happened and so far, nothing had happened.
He sighed as he grabbed the younger man's hand and gave it a squeeze. Perry made sure that he didn't apply to much pressure to the bruised body of the young man. It took all the strength that he had to keep from crying again. Seeing J.D up close in the ambulance with all the marks on his body was too much for him and caused him to throw-up as soon as he got out of it. The way he looked was worse than it was in the picture, the bruises looked darker and bigger, the cuts seemed wider and the burns seemed to be fresh instead of being almost four days old according to the doctor. J.D to him seemed thinner, paler than he normally was but the thing that Perry noticed that was the most different was his hair. J.D's hair, which was usually neat and spiky, gelled up with all kinds of feminine hair products now laid limp across his face.
Gently brushing his hand across J.D's face, Perry couldn't control the tears that escaped his eyes. They rolled down his cheeks and fell onto J.D's cheeks as he leaned forward to kiss the forehead of the young man. Closing his eyes, Perry rested his forehead on J.D's, still having the J.D's hand in his.
Perry was brought out of his thoughts when he felt the hand he was holding tightly squeeze his. He opened his eyes only to be met by a pair of bright blue eyes already doused with tears. He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it when J.D lifted his other hand to run it across his wet unshaved face.
"You're real" J.D whispered.
"You're awake"
"Are you really here"
"I should be the one asking you that but I gotta tell you this if you aren't real this is one hell of a hallucination" Perry smiled as he gripped J.D's hand tighter.
J.D continued to move his hand along the surface of Perry's face afraid to move it. Scared that it was just another hallucination that he had become used to seeing while in captivity. He ran his fingers over the lips, nose; slowly making the way over the eyes and he could tell that they were wet from tears. He realized that Perry was in-fact real and was there sitting right beside him.
"I've missed you so much" J.D cried as he tried to push his body up from the bed. He needed to wrapped in Perry's arms, feel his warmth all over him. As if Perry could tell what J.D asking for, he moved from the chair and sat down on the bed to be closer to J.D. He immediately engulfed J.D in his arms and used his free hands to stroke the back of his neck and hair. He felt his shoulder become wet as J.D cried softly on it.
"I thought I would never see you again-I thought you were dead."
"I know exactly how you were feeling" Perry whispered into J.D ear.
"Oh my God, you're really here. I can't believe it. I missed you so much and you're-" J.D tried to say but the sounds came out muffled against Perry's broad shoulder. He wanted so much to tell him that he thought of him everyday and that being without him was more torture than anything that Kenny put him through. J.D wanted to say all those things but he found no words that could describe how good it felt to be inside his lover's arms.
"God J.D" Perry quietly sobbed, "You have no idea how much I missed you. I fought so hard to find you and now; now you're here and I'm holding you and God-I just-"
"I feel the same way." J.D smiled as he moved his head from Perry's shoulder to look him in the eye. He smiled even wider when Perry ran his hands across his face, wiping any tears that were fresh on his face. Unable to control himself, J.D took both his hands to cup Perry's face and place a kiss on Perry's lips.
Perry was shocked by the action simply because he didn't know if J.D would react to him that way. He didn't want to do anything that would remind him of any of the things that he went through with Walter so he made sure that he didn't go to far as much as he found it hard to resist. When he felt J.D's tongue run over his lips as if begging for entrance, he unwillingly pulled away. His heart dropped when he saw the hurt look that inflated in J.D's eyes by his actions.
"I'm sorry-I don't know what came over me" J.D replied hurtfully. Removing his hands from Perry's face, he positioned his body to lay back down but was shocked when Perry grabbed his hands.
"What are you sorry about"
"I get it if you don't want to be with me because of-"
"Don't say that" hissing as he pulled J.D back into the hug. "Just-God don't say that. I still love you and it doesn't matter what Walter did to you, I still love you."
"Who's Walter" J.D asked pulling away, confusion evident in his eyes.
"Walter was Kenny's real name, the police think that he may have murdered a homeless man and then stole his identity."
"Like he murdered Steven"
"Steven Walsh."
"Yeah, I think they may be the same person. Ken-Walter said that he was going to kill me in the same spot that he killed Steven. He would have killed me if Dan hadn't come and-" J.D paused when he realized that he hadn't even asked how his brother was doing since he had been awake the second time. "Perry how is my brother"
"As you know he had to have surgery and he lost a lot of blood but the hospital-they did a good job and right now he's still unconscious from the blood loss."
"He's unconscious" J.D whispered when the new hit his ears. His brother had not only saved his life but now was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. He knew that he needed to see his brother, make sure that he was okay.
"Yes he is but he's alive and that's good right."
"That's great, Perry I have to see him"
"J.D I don't think-"
"Please" J.D pleaded. "He's my brother-I have to see him, make sure that he's okay. Please"
Perry looked at the young man and blew out a huge breath. He knew that J.D needed to see if his brother was okay. It would be the only way that he would every truly to able to go to sleep.
"Okay, let me get you a wheelchair"
"Perry I don't need a wheel-"
"No wheelchair, no visit." Perry sternly said as he walked out of the room. A few seconds later, he came back into the room and gestured J.D to the chair. He walked over to J.D, sat him down gently into the chair, and rolled him to Dan's room.
J.D felt his face become hot as soon as he entered the room. Upon entering the room he saw his brother hooked up to various machines, tubes running everywhere from his arms to his nose. He had his breath as Perry wheeled him closer to the bed and J.D reached out to touch his brother's hand. He laid his head down on the bed and just listened to the sound of the heart monitor and Dan's light breathing.
"Dan I'm so sorry that this happened to you" J.D whispered to his brother. "I never meant for you to get hurt and I'm really sorry. I want you to know that I will do whatever I can to make this up to you. I know that we have had our differences-I've said some things to you in the past about you never being there for me but those words will never cross my lips again."
By the time J.D, finished talking to his brother his face was wet from tears. He still couldn't believe that his brother was lying in a hospital bed. He would give anything to bring his brother out of this okay but he knew that there would be physical damage as well as emotional damage for the rest of his life.
"It's all my fault" Perry heard J.D cry as he laid his head down on the bed. Perry walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. He continued to cry when Perry lifted him up out of the wheelchair and carried him back to his room. He laid J.D back onto the bed and positioned his body in the bed so that J.D was laying on his chest. Perry ran his fingers through J.D's hair as he let him cry on top of him.
"It's not your fault" Perry replied still holding J.D in his arms. "Everything that happened to you, your brother and everyone else was a result of an insane lunatic who thought it was right to make people suffer to get what he wanted."
"And now he's dead"
Perry felt his heart stop beating when J.D said those words to him. He knew that J.D had to find out the truth sooner or later but he thought it was too soon.
J.D could feel Perry tense up underneath him and pulled away to gaze into the older man's eyes. He could tell that something was off by the way he looked and his reaction to Kenny being dead. J.D knew that something was wrong and he intended to find out what it was.
"What's wrong Perry"
"Um nothing" Perry shrugged as he pulled J.D closer once more but this time the young man resisted.
"Yes it is" J.D replied. "It nothing was wrong how come you tensed up when I said that Kenny was dead. He's dead isn't he"
"Newbie"
"Perry cut the crap, is Kenny dead or not"
Perry lowered his head so he didn't have face J.D. How could he tell him the truth after everything that he had recently gone through. It would be like taking the same knife that Walter used on him to make even fresher wounds in J.D's pale skin. He felt J.D's hand grab onto his tightly causing him to look up at him once more.
"Perry tell me" J.D pleaded in a whisper tone. He needed to know if the man who had tortured and attempted to kill him and his brother was dead and never coming back to hurt him again.
"J.D, Walter" he sighed as he looked towards the ground again. "Walter isn't dead"
"What" gasping as he let go of Perry's hand. "How…how is that possible. I saw him shoot himself; how is that-possible"
"He did shoot himself J.D and I swear if it was any other person they would be dead by now but-but God, God decided that he wasn't ready to take the life of a psychopath so he opted to let him stay on earth a little bit longer"
"But-I saw-"
"I know what you saw J.D and it wasn't enough to kill him." Perry hissed. "He's not dead but he's close to being dead. He's hooked up to a ventilator because he can't breath on his own and is on life support. As soon as we can contact his family and tell them what happened he will be dead by tomorrow."
"Why-why did this happen to me" J.D replied as he began to cry. The fear had returned to once again claim it's place in his heart. Even after everything that he had been through it still was not over and J.D had a feeling that it wouldn't be over for a long time. He just did the next best thing that he could, wrapped his body tightly around Perry's, and hoped that the comfort would be enough for now.
Last Comments
So here it is, my first chapter of my last part of this story. I hope you guys aren't mad that I didn't kill off Kenny but I still have alot I want to do with him so I had to keep him alive for now. A couple of people guessed that I did shoot Dan but I had to do it because Perry would have been to much of easy target. Plus I am thinking to bring their mom into the mix and I can warn you that there will be some mother son issues. I think that this story will have the most chapters than the other stories and I will try to post them on a regualr basis but with school and my job, it might get hard. Still I will do my best to post chapter 2 by Friday since I am off.
Well thanks for reading
"Ricka"