Trying it on for size

Chapter one: Mission Impossible

"Well Naruto, what do you say?" Tsunade said with her trademark grin smeared on her face. The Hokage-office was currently occupied by the two remaining members of the original Team 7 and the Hokage herself, and they were discussing a mission. Tsunade cleared her throat, "You should know that this mission could very well mean that we could finally get on friendly terms with Rock, and perhaps negotiate the terms for an alliance." Naruto was still too shocked to speak, and Sakura was not doing any better. What the hell was this? They knew that being a ninja automatically qualified them for some crazy shit, but this was off the hook!

Twenty minutes earlier

A streak of pink was seen flashing through the busy streets of Konohagakure no Sato. The people who lived there didn't think anything about it though, since this was after all a shinobi village, and stuff like this happened on a daily basis. It might not have been the most natural colour for someone's hair, but as I said; crazy shit happens!

Haruno Sakura was in a hurry. Her teacher and role model, the Godaime Hokage formerly known as Densetsu no Kamo, Tsunade, had a mission for Team 7. 'Where the hell is he?' she asked, silently promising herself that she would make her blond teammate suffer for making her look for him. The two of them were 16 years old, and both had reached the rank of Chunin, which in turn gave them some free time away from their old sensei, Hatake Kakashi. This mission was supposed to be one of them, and Sakura was secretly happy for the opportunity to be alone with Naruto for two months. She had finally fallen for his charm, but she hadn't found the guts to tell him yet. The idiot was too stupid to notice that she had changed her ways when it came to him either way, so she wasn't worried. "We'll make him squirm in pleasure this time, SHANNARO" Inner Sakura yelled, pumping her fists in the air for the sake of the drama. A blush spread on Sakura's face as she agreed with her inner self's screams. This was going to be… interesting!

Meanwhile, at Ichiraku's, a blonde boy sneezed. "Some hot chick must be thinking about me," he said, making the old man behind the counter smile. The two of them had developed a special relationship over the years since Teuchi Ichiraku and his daughter, Ayame, was two of the very few people who actually cared about the boy. They gave him food when he was hungry, and offered a shoulder to cry on when he was depressed (which was very often). Shrugging, he went back to his seventeenth bowl of Uzumaki Special-ramen for the night, slurping with great satisfaction.

The pink streak was slowly nearing the place she knew she would find her friend, Ichiraku's. How the hell he could stand eating that crap every day for the last 15 years, she didn't know, but she knew damn well that this was where she would find him, and she was right!

"Naruto… Mission… Tsunade," she gasped, trying to catch her breath. "Really?" the blonde boy yelled on the top of his lungs. He hadn't had a mission since Team Yamato's last failed attempt on bringing back the Uchiha. They had finally found Orochimaru's hideout, only to discover that Kabuto was the only person left. He had told them that Sasuke had absorbed Orochimaru's essence, which was the same as a temporarily kill, and then he had left. Since they didn't see any reason to kill Kabuto now that his master was gone (for now), they had returned to Konoha in defeat. It was time for Jiraiya to start gathering information again, since they needed to know the whereabouts of both Akatsuki, and Sasuke's newly formed group, Hebi.

Naruto flashed his trademark grin to his longtime crush as he reached for his trusty wallet for some cash. Teuchi smiled at the boy he had come to think of as a son, or at least distant relative of some sort. "Don't worry about it Naruto," he said. "Thanks to you Ichiraku's will stay in business for many years to come, so a free bowl of ramen or seventeen isn't that hard a loss." Naruto smiled and thanked the old man, yelling his good-bye's to Ayame as he took off towards the Hokage building for his mission.

The two ninja's straightened their clothes and hair before they entered Tsunade's office, since they couldn't know if someone else was inside. Tsunade may be one of Naruto's precious people, but he couldn't just barge into her office in such a disrespectful manner if there were anyone else inside. People hated him enough already, so he wanted to try his best. They took a deep breath to relax and entered.

Tsunade, as a seasoned kunoichi, woke up as soon as she noticed the presence of two shinobi outside her office. She may be Hokage, but it would be a cold day in hell before that would keep her from her daily (or is that hourly?) nap. She slapped some life into herself and made herself look busy as she called out "Enter!"

"Hey hag, you been sleeping on the job again," Naruto said as he noticed they were alone in the office. A vein appeared on her forehead as she noticed that it wasn't a question. "How the hell is it that you can always notice that you brat? And don't call me hag," Tsunade yelled as she sent one of her super powered right hooks towards the blond, who just barely dodged the punch. Naruto just shrugged and said "A ninja has to look underneath the underneath," as he stared at the ink on her face. Sleeping on documents and drooling leaves it's marks.

Tsunade noticed his stare and quickly found a napkin to wash the ink away from her face. Thank god it wasn't someone important who came in!

Tsunade then put on her 'let's-talk-business-shall-we'-face and looked straight at the two shinobi.

"Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto, I have a mission for you. This mission will decide the future relationship between the lands of Earth and Fire, and is thus labeled an S-rank mission. The two of you will travel alone to Iwagakure and meet with the newly elected Tsuchikage and negotiate a treaty between the two countries, "that was when Naruto took his chance to interrupt her. "Isn't this a mission that would require the presence of the Hokage?" Naruto said. "Yes, you are right gaki. But the Hokage WILL be there, only I won't." Tsunade answered with her scary smirk. The only times she used that smirk was when something extremely uncomfortable was going to happen to him. "But how can you be there, yet not be there at the same time?" Sakura asked as Naruto was about to ask the Hokage if old age finally had gotten to her. "I'm glad you asked that question Sakura, and I will answer that right away. As I said, the only ones who will go to Iwagakure are the two of you, so one of you has to be me," she said, smirking at the confusion in Naruto's eyes, "And the only one who is able to go through with it is Naruto!"

Back to the present time

Sakura looked at her mentor as if she had grown another pair of breasts. Did she really just say that Naruto was going to be her for this mission?

"Tsunade-sama, Naruto may have tons of chakra, but there's no way he can fool the Tsuchikage with a simple henge, and even less so hold the henge for so long," Sakura said. "That's because he won't be using a henge," Tsunade said, "I will use my ultimate medical jutsu to reform his body into my image, and change his chakra-signature, smell and DNA to be the same as mine." Tsunade said simply. That was some jutsu, as DNA and the chankra-signature are unique to everyone and shouldn't be changeable.

Naruto had been strangely quiet for some time now. Thoughts where spinning in his head; 'Is this possible? I don't want to be a girl, and much less an old hag! But that would mean that I would be Hokage, which is my dream. And I could get a taste of what being a Hokage really feels like. Can I do this? It's only for a couple of months, and I will be with Sakura alone the whole time… traveling… hotel rooms, hot springs, s-shared b-bed.' Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Naruto bowed and said "I'll do it!"

Sakura looked at him strangely. Did he want to be a woman? Well, if he did, Tsunade was a good choice. People always guessed that Tsunade was using a genjutsu to look younger, but in reality it was a medical jutsu that changed chakra into youth. In short; it was a jutsu that kept the user young until death got him/her. But if he wanted to be a woman, did that mean she didn't stand a chance at getting him as her boyfriend? She was getting increasingly frustrated at the thought of losing the boy she loved. She was about to cry when Naruto said, "this way I can really get to know how it feels like to be living my dream, as I would be Hokage. Being a woman is only a minor setback, and as a ninja of Konoha I have to be able to get through even weird shit like this without stepping back. That would be a violation to my nindo."

"That's good to hear Naruto," Tsunade said. "I will be able to operate on you right away, as the operation will be done in about two days. After that I will have you train using my body and chakra-ports and center of balance, so you could stand up to an eventual attack. I will give you about two weeks of practice being a woman before I send the two of you away. The operation will have you stuck as a woman for the next four to six months, all depending on how quick your body's chi get's back into balance." Tsunade said, getting out of her chair. The three of them left the office in Shizune's care for the moment and they went to Tsunade's secret study in her house, since no one could know about the switch. Sakura was going along to assist Tsunade in the operation as they would be forced to take shifts just to keep him alive.

Naruto was having second thoughts as he looked at the woman he had come to think of as a surrogate mother. He knew her well enough to copy her personality, which he had proved when he had imitated her the last time the rookies and Team Gai had met. His imitations were always one of the most requested forms of entertainment on those meetings, and he acted out everyone they yelled at them to perfection, without the use of a henge of course. He knew he could impersonate Tsunade's personality perfectly, but this went beyond anything he had ever done before. We are talking about actual transformations here, a medical jutsu who would really make him Tsunade in every way biologically. He knew Tsunade was good enough to actually do it, but he had to admit that the thought of actually transforming his body into a carbon copy of someone else felt scary. As he walked down the halls to Tsunade's study he kept a constant mantra going in his head: 'Think about the possibility of getting naked with Sakura'.

The hall was long. The silence was absolute. The tension in the air could be cut with a kunai. None of the three shinobi was too comfy with the thought of what they were about to do, but neither one said anything. To say Naruto was nervous would be like saying Tsunade has a flat chest- it would be the understatement of the century. Just imagine yourself walking the Green Mile, and you will have a clearer image about Naruto's feelings. He looked at the people on the walls. No silly, not actual people, but the paintings. All of the heads of Tsunade's clan was portrayed and hung on this wall. Years of history and lives, and stories who would never be known by anyone. Naruto remembered seeing the first- and second Hokage at the start of the hall, and knew that this was actual nobility of the fire country, which earned his respect.

But every hallway had to end some place, and they soon enough met with a solid oak-door that led to Tsunade's study where Naruto would spend the next 48 hours in a coma. Tsunade fiddled with her keys before unlocking the door with a loud 'click' that echoed through the hallway they had just walked down. Naruto gulped as he stepped into the room after his pink haired crush and her mentor. Images of Frankenstein's laboratory flashed through his mind before Tsunade flipped the light switch.

Imagine yourself as a noble in the 1500's England. You had a large estate, or perhaps a small castle? Either way, imagine how your study would look like. Or perhaps it would be better to call it a 'room where you could relax'? Can you see the large fireplace with the big chimney? Now imagine a huge portrait of a smiling Tsunade in a formal gown hanging over the fireplace, illuminated by the flickering flames. Tsunade's study was nothing like that! It was a comfy room, void of any windows, yet the air and light didn't hurt the room at all. The room was painted dark brown, which in turn made a dark contrast to the off-white book shelves filled with scrolls and books, and in one of the corners, a big table that was currently used as a desk. A comfy chair was placed next to one of those fake, electric fireplaces which got turned on at the same time Tsunade turned the lights on. A soft jazzy tune was playing from a brand new stereo system placed behind the chair, and a small coffee table sported a glass of sake and a novel of some sort. Naruto recognized the book immediately, and he knew that Ero-Sennin would take great pleasure in hearing that his secret love was a fan of his books.

"This is where I go when I want to be alone," Tsunade said as she summoned two chairs from a scroll, nodding her head for Naruto and Sakura to sit down.

"The reason why Naruto is the only one who is capable of this operation is the fact that he has a dual chakra-system. When I operate on the coils in his body, the chakra-flow will stop. And I'm sure you know that chakra is your life force, meaning that anyone else would die. However, Naruto has Kyuubi to keep him alive if his chakra would stop flowing. You may have noticed this effect in the chunin-exam when Naruto fought Neji, as his chakra-flow should have been 98 blocked from that attack. Yet Naruto stood back up and accessed another chakra, earning him the victory." Tsunade was in lecture-mode, which automatically meant that Sakura sponged up everything she said. Naruto pretended to listen and let his mind wander, thinking about Kankuro, and why the hell that boy wore make-up. It seemed like it increased with his age, but at least it wasn't as bad as the snake. He giggled slightly when a mental picture of Sasuke with makeup and a frilly dress flashed before his eyes, as it wasn't entirely impossible after the way his mind had been corrupted. The cursed seal made Sasuke gayer than ever!

Naruto's musings came to a stop as Tsunade pulled out a scroll from her shelf, summoning a complete surgical table with various instruments hanging from the sides. Tsunade looked at Naruto and asked him to undress and lie down on the table, "It's not like you have anything that I haven't seen before," she said, ignoring the furious blushes on the two teens. Sakura fought with all her might, but her eyes still drifted to the blonde's naked body. "The past years have been good to you, shannaro!" Inner Sakura yelled as Sakura nodded in agreement with her mouth open. Naruto wasn't bulky like Jiraiya, but he had the body of a gymnast or a swimmer. Lean, yet powerful muscles on a perfectly tanned body made Sakura's eyes flicker like crazy as she drank in his image as her mouth started to water. Her eyes stopped on his crotch, which made both teenagers blush a furious crimson as both of them knew that this would be the last time in a while where they would be able to see it, as Naruto would soon enough trade his kendama for a nut (as in screws, bolts and shit). 'I'm going to miss you my friend' Naruto thought as he tried to cover up, wishing his hands were as big as Jiraiya's.

"Ok Naruto, I'm going to give you a shot now. When you wake up, you will be me, so sleep tight and sweet dreams," Tsunade said as she leaned over Naruto's body and kissed his forehead the same way she did all those years ago. Naruto looked at Sakura, blue eyes locked with green. He managed his usual cheeky grin, the smile that could melt even the coldest heart, and it was a smile Sakura had learned to love. Thinking back, she couldn't understand why she was so in love with Sasuke. No, she was in lust with Sasuke. You can say a lot of things about the Uchiha-boy, but there is very little to love. He looks good, but that's where it ended. There was never room for anyone else in Sasuke's heart, she knew that now. She had treated the blonde as something lover than trash, yet he never let her down. He has always been there for her, risking his life to save hers. She knew that Naruto had given her his heart many years ago, but now she was confident enough to accept.

Sakura looked in his eyes, and there was nothing but love to be seen. She loved those eyes, yet she wouldn't see them for close to six months. She would miss them and the smile that came bundled with them, but she knew he would be there at her side the entire time. For the first time in Naruto's life, he could see the girl of his dreams return his smile, and he could see her feelings in her eyes. This served to give the boy new confidence, and he knew he could be a woman for her sake, even if this has to be the hands down weirdest adventure he ever tried. As he felt the sting of the needle in his arm, his consciousness slowly slipping away, he never let go of her eyes. With another smile he took her hand and said, "I'll see you on the other side," before everything went black.

Next: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

AN:// Yeah.. I know! Just humor me, will'ya? I will focus on The Scarlet Flash, but this story will get more focus than my other two (whom I still intend to finish). I just found the idea about Naruto in Tsunade's body to be too funny to pass, so I had to write. If you have any ideas about what I should include in the future chapters, tell me in a review! With this story, I'll stop at nothing except having Naruto falling in love with guys.. I just can't bring myself to do that to him (or me), but I'll try to have him act all bimbo'ish with a couple of guys. Well R&R BITCHES!