My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

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All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

(Authors Note: This is around the one year anniversary for this story. When I wrote it, I was meaning for it to be a simple one chapter story, but as you can already tell, it got out of hand, and even has its own sequel in progress. On my old computer, I didn't have a spell checker, and I wrote parts in such a hurry, I figured that I should take the time to make a revised edition. I hope you enjoy!)

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Chapter One:

Secrets and Poems

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"Just one more cocoacino!" Chocolate boy begged
Sheena sighed "No chocolate boy, I'm afraid I have to cut you off" It was after school at the Cocoahut, a little something Mr. Simmon's class created for after school entertainment. Everyone took their seats.

"It's Helga's turn again, and you know what that means" Gerald quipped
"Another comedy routine. They're pretty funny, Gerald. Just don't take everything personally." Arnold smiled.
"If I hear another joke about my hair and a Jello mold, I swear, man!"
"Come on, that was actually cute"
"Listen to yourself... calling something Helga said CUTE?" Gerald said in mock horror "You gotta watch what you say, man!"
Arnold nodded "Guess that just slipped out." he scratched his head as Helga stepped up onto the makeshift stage.

"Hello everyone!" she said, her arms shaking nervously.
"What, not ladies and germs?" Gerald whispered
"I'm not doing any comedy today. And BELIEVE ME, not a freeform poem about everyone!" she laughed "Instead, a song I wrote for someone..." she blushed and pointed to Phoebe to cue the tape. As the music began, she took the microphone out of its stand.

"I hold my breath as you walk this way
tell my heart to sush it's flutter
I wanna hear each word you say and smile.
You step near me and I hesitate
Words spill out and now it's too late
my chance has passed and now I hate what I've done...
And once again my defenses won..."

"What is she DOING man?" Gerald whispered loudly.
Arnold quieted him "Shush... she's really good... she's singing it from the heart"

"I wanna walk a mile in your shoes
to know how you make me feel this way
I want you to feel every emotion I've felt
When you've just come up to say
hello
so you know
though it never shows
cuz my pride always stands in the way
there's something that I've always wanted to say..."

Helga glanced over at Mr. Simmons as she sang. He had tears in his eyes. She smiled at his creampuff reaction. Still, it was nice to know someone was listening. She looked over at Arnold, trying not to make it too obvious. She smiled as she saw him politely listening. She smiled, the next verse oughtta get him.

"The words never come out right
as all my chances slip by
and I watch my childhood race before my eyes
Words unspoken, tears unseen
a broken heart with broken dreams
one look at you and I mount on the wings of a dove...
I'm so in love..."

She scanned the audience, in awe that they were swaying in time to her slow song.

"I wanna walk a mile in your shoes
to know how you make me feel this way
I want you to feel every emotion I've felt
When you've just come up to say
hello
so you know
though it never shows
cuz my pride always stands in the way
there's something that I've always wanted to say..."

She stopped scanning her audience, and let her eyes rest on Arnold.
"I love you"
The last few notes faded away and she carefully placed the microphone back into it's stand. She looked out at the silent audience. Disappointed, she began to walk back to her seat.
*clap, clap*
she looked up to see Arnold clapping. Slowly Gerald joined him, then Eugene, then thunderous applause. With tears in her eyes she sat down.

Helga sat outside watching as people left the school. She smiled, she had said it... but had he really listened and understood? Did Arnold know the song was for him?
"Helga" she turned around to see Arnold sitting behind her.
"Yeah?" she asked, careful not to call him Football head
"I really liked your song. It was beautiful" he smiled at her reassuringly and walked off, leaving Helga alone to swoon.


The next day after school, everyone was shocked to hear that Arnold was going to do something.
"After yesterday I thought I'd never be shocked again. Arnold, what are you gonna do?" Gerald asked
"You'll see" Arnold smiled, going up the the stage. Nervously he unfolded a piece of paper.

"Never known what to think of you
I've seen you push help away countless times
a helping hand is all I have to offer
hoping someday you'd change your mind.

Every harsh words stings more then the one before
maybe because I can remember when
things were not always that way
What can I do to bring back a friend
that I adore

I catch glimpses every now and then
a smile a tear a piece of the past restored to me again
renewing my faith that things aren't always as they seem."

Arnold paused and looked up at Helga. He smiled at her confused face and nodded.

"Got a glimpse of what you're like when the mask is off
and how it'd be like to really talk to you
Life is hard and no one's there to make you smile
and an act is all you have to hide the pain for a while.
People accept and they move on
never care to look beyond
and see the hurting girl
suffering more then they know.
And more times then I'd like to admit
I've pretended you didn't exist
and tried to push you away.

I'm not as dense as I appear sometimes
I know the difference between a laugh and a cry
and i see the pain that reflects in your eyes.
And though I fail to comprehend
I felt you cry out even then
Even when you didn't know you did.

So here's to the past and what's yet to come
I hope now you know there's one
more reason to let your feelings show."

Arnold looked back at the audience for a moment, then went back to his seat, the applause following him back. He glanced back at Helga's seat, only to see she had left. He sighed, wondering if he'd ever get through.

Helga sat in a stall in the girls bathroom, holding her locket in front of her "Oh Arnold,my angel of reason, did I become your muse?"