Start: April 8, 2007

End: May 23, 2007

Rating: T

Anime: Yakitate Japan!!

Pairing: Azuma Kazuma/ Kanmuri Shigeru

Genre: Romance/Tragedy

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters as well as the song "Insane" by Callalily which I used, and everything else mentioned here, except for the plot.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry everyone for not updating 'Yakitate Fairytale' for the past months; you see my computer got broken and still isn't fixed until now and since I've already started on Fairytale's Chapter 7 and the file is in my computer, I haven't been able to get my hands on it for the past two (!) months… So until my mom finds time to take our computer to the repair shop, I won't be able to do anything for my fics 'til then… But don't worry coz while the computer was unavailable for usage, I've been continuing on the plot for my fics and I can say that I'm doing pretty well… So for now, please enjoy this little fic that I've made whenever my family went to our grandparents house where the computer there is working fine… and even though we only go there on weekends, I've succeeded in completing this fic so I hope that the readers would find this okay… This will also be the first fic that I've done using a character's POV so I hope that it'll be good enough for the readers… Please tell me if it's alright and if you have to critic some parts, please do so in order that I could better my fics for the enjoyment of the readers…

--oOo--

Reticent Memories

--oOo--

(Shigeru POV)

Here I am once again, sitting on a chair doing nothing… I'm not even aware of the things happening around me anymore… Well, you seriously can't blame me for all of this; this is already the norm around here: everyone just lazing around occasionally playing a game of cards or something to pass the time… Nothing really exciting goes on around here, except when there are competitions wherein we contend and often times come out as the victor, just like the recently concluded Yakitate 9 competition... But now there's seriously nothing to do, the mushroom-headed guy, whose name I still can't remember, is completely in control of the store so there's nothing for us to do... I absolutely hate these times... sure I can always use these times to surf the net at leisure but lately it seems that I don't have my usual eagerness in doing so, maybe that's because I've explored the web so many times and I'm already sort of blasé about it... Another reason and maybe it is my biggest reason, for hating these times, because he often creeps into my mind in my sub consciousness... Yes, him. The person whose face haunts my dreams as well as my every waking moment, the person who is always just beside me but still so far away, the person whom I've known for a long time; long before we became rivals, then friends, then co-workers, and lately team-mates... although I think he has already forgotten who I was back then, I assume that he doesn't even remember meeting me from years and years before but I don't blame him, after all, who do I think I am to him? The person whom I could probably consider as the greatest person that I had the fortune to have met... The person whom I had begun to like as a kid and had now grown to love, I'm almost sure of it... And even though I have the faintest idea of what love is, I know that I love him...

"Kanmuri? Kanmuri! Are you alright?"

A voice suddenly called out, its words echoing again and again inside my head... his voice... I instantly look up from my position of having my head in my hands and gazing blankly at the wall just in front of me, meeting his look of concern upon me with mild surprise; I must have been in a pensive mood once again (which is pretty common nowadays)... that must explain why he and everyone else is staring anxiously at me... again... I sigh before flashing a smile that seriously did not reflect what I was feeling at the moment.

"Are you alright, Kanmuri? You don't look so well... Maybe you should go to a clinic and have a checkup or something..." he spoke in a voice filled with apprehension, looking at me directly with his wide caramel orbs as the others (meaning Tsukino and Manager) nodded in agreement.

I instantly look away quickly saying that it's probably just because of my lack of sleep...

Somehow I just can't stand him looking at me like that... I know that it's quite foolish of me to think that he would actually be able to figure out my thoughts by just looking at me but... it's just so hard to explain... on one side really want him to know my thoughts so that he could somehow understand me (and a small nagging voice inside my head hopes that he'll love me back) but then again I'm also afraid of what would happen if he does remember but doesn't feel that same way... On the other hand what are the chances that he will remember? As far as I know, he hadn't realized that the owner of St. Pierre was the same guy who taught him how to bake in the first place until the guy removed the sunglasses that he wore; and if such a slight difference made the St. Pierre's owner unfamiliar what chances do I have of having him recall our past? And besides for that past 10 years I'm sure that he had encountered more memorable experiences rather than meeting a little lost child who was in tears...

I stand up and excuse myself from them, saying that I have some things to take care of at home. I grab my jacket and walk out of the room, opting to use the backdoor which was nearer. I can feel their eyes on me, especially his, piercing my back; I grab the door handle just as he spoke, "Kanmuri, wait… What's wro-" I never heard what he said next as I pulled open the door and walked out into the alleyway towards streets where I blended in with the other citizens of the city, all going home after a whole day of hard work. I didn't know where I was going, I just continued walking and walking just concentrating on getting as far as possible from the bakery and from the people in it, I don't hate them you know… I just want to have some time alone… some time to think… to think about certain thoughts that keep on creeping up on me… I could only hope that Manager, Tsukino, and (most especially) Kazuma, wouldn't get offended by my actions…

I look up and found myself in an abandoned park; the benches were covered with graffiti, the plants were all wilted and the old slides, swings, and even the monkey bars were all broken… I walked around the park a little more, the shriveled up grass crunching as I set my weight on them… Further at the back of the park, I saw a single rusting swing; I head towards it, my hand grasping the tarnishing chains… I wonder why it was all alone… I look around and not far lay a large heap of broken and rusting metal bars… A frown made its way to my lips… I gently sit down, checking if the swing could still carry my weight, and fortunately it did, I felt tired and I don't know why… And like the other times… whenever I had nothing to do, whenever my mind was blank… the incident that happened ten years ago crept into my mind… like a broken videotape that replays the scenes again and again and again…

Flashback... 10 years ago...

(Normal POV)

A young brunet had just finished dressing up and was running a comb through his wet brown hair; it was just around 10 a.m. and he had just finished taking his shower, his sister had gone to school hours ago and now it was only him, his mother and his grandparents in their house. He was already content with his life here, he told himself as he finally set his comb on the drawer and looked at himself in the mirror, everything is quiet and peaceful, just the way he liked it. He had a very loving and caring family who were always there for him but sometimes he couldn't help feeling a tiny bit sad... It wasn't that his family didn't pay attention to him nor was it that he felt ignored... He was sad because he had no one: no one to play with, no one to talk to, and no one of his age who could understand him as he wanted to be understood... Sure, his sister has always been nice to him but most of the time she isn't there, she had to go to the place called 'school' and he was pretty sure that she enjoyed being there and had lots and lots of friends. Then again, she always seems to be happy when the two of them are baking bread or cooking together but that's it, that's all there is... most of the time she goes out with her friends leaving him alone once again... His mother and grandparents were all okay... well, maybe not when his grandfather tells him stories that he had already heard a thousand times before but other than that they were a lot of fun to be with... even though they were already about ten times his age... A small smile graced his lips in amusement at his train of thought, but sometimes, he really really wished that one day he will find that someone who could relate to him and whom he can have lots of fun with... maybe he can even teach that person to bake bread, after all the old man who taught him had already left but before that the old man gave him the dream of making Ja-pan... Maybe he and that someone could pursue that dream together... His smile widened as his fists clenched in excitement... someday, he was sure of it, someday he would find that person and make his dreams come true...

But before he could even continue he heard a highly distracting sound coming from outside his bedroom window, he instantly went to peer over the window frame hoping to see the source of the noise. The whole street was empty and he could see no one for miles and miles around but he could definitely hear something, he lowered his range of vision and that's when he noticed something rather unusual just in front of their house... he immediately ran downstairs and out of the house halting with a few deep breaths just a few feet from the stranger who was sitting on the ground... He tilted his head to one side as to look at the stranger from a better angle, the stranger was sitting with his arms wrapped around his legs and his head resting on his arms so that he couldn't see the person's face but he was pretty confident that the person was crying due to the fact that he could hear soft sobs coming from the person before him. The stranger had a fair complexion, although it was now covered in dirt and scratches, and his head was covered with a mass of short pink hair, the kid also appeared to have a small knapsack strapped on his back.

The brunet took a few tentative steps forward as to see if the stranger was okay on having him near before he crouched just beside the kid, who seemed to be just around his age. He continued to stare at the person for a few more seconds before finally deciding to make his presence known; he gently tapped the shoulder of the sobbing stranger which resulted in a startled cry as the kid turned to look at him. The kid seemed to be frightened at the sight of the brunet that he had stopped crying and held his breath, he probably haven't heard him approach but a split-second later tears filled his eyes again and he now wore a hurt look upon his features.

The brunet was alarmed at the other kid's actions and leaned forward, suddenly determined to find out what had happened to the boy and to help him in some way, "Why are you crying? What happened to you? Can I help you in anyway? Please tell me what happened, are you alright?" he asked in an agitated tone.

However the kid didn't reply and just continued to cry.

"Please, I just want to help you..." he added in an almost desperate tone. When the kid still didn't respond, he moved closer to the kid and shifted into a kneeling position before he wrapped his arms around the kid's slightly trembling frame, whispering soft words of comfort to the other who fist seemed surprised at the sudden contact but eventually melted into the solace which came in the form of a warm embrace and reassuring words that emanated from an unknown person, but either way he was really grateful.

But just as brunet had finished speaking someone called his name. "Kazuma? What are you doing out here? I was so worried when I saw that you weren't in your room? What are you doi-" but the sentence was cut before it was finished, the brunet's mother had just come out of the house, she immediately went to her son but was surprised at something else that she had found there... "Kazuma do you know him?" the mother asked as she crouched down beside her son.

The brunet named Kazuma shook his head, although he still didn't let go of the sobbing kid, "I don't know his name, mother. I've been trying to talk to him but he just continues to cry so I figured that I should comfort him somehow... Do you think he's hurt, mother?" he added anxiously.

Meanwhile, the grown woman went nearer to the sobbing child who looked at her with the same tear-filled eyes. A sad smile made its way onto her lips, "You seem to be hurt, little one, are you alright?" he asked as she gently brushed away the kid's hair from his face, surprisingly the kid suddenly clung onto Kazuma, whose arms still encircled the pink haired kid, looking quite astonished. "Don't worry, she won't hurt you, she's my mother…" Kazuma told the cowering kid.

"Kazuma, I think you better take him inside so we can see if he's really alright, he does seem quite dirty so he should probably take a shower first…" the brunet's mom stated as she stood up. "Don't be afraid, little one, we'll help you…" she added kindly to the child who was wrapped in her son's embrace.

Slowly, Kazuma had been able to convince the kid to stand up and walk into his home, although it did come at the cost of the kid grasping his hand tightly and walking with him in front, functioning much like a shield for the kid.

His mom led them to their bathroom upstairs where she quickly prepared a bath for their little guest, as she liked to call him, as Kazuma and the newcomer stood behind her. While she waited for the bathtub to fill with water she picked up her son, but not before receiving perturbed look from the other kid who had released his hold, and then continued to wash her son's knees in their washbowl since he had kneeled on the ground causing it to become dirty before placing him down again and the pink haired kid clutching her son's hand just as before.

"You can take a bath by yourself now, I presume?" the brunet's mom asked their guest who barely nodded. "Well, then I'll just prepare some of Kazuma's clothes for you to change into after you've bathed… it certainly looks like you two are just of the same age to me, so there'll be no problem…" she said, now turning her back on the children as she closed the running tap.

However, the kid was tugging on the sleeve of Kazuma's shirt causing the brunet to look at him questioningly; he then removed his knapsack from his back and hugged it. Kazuma, who had somehow understood what the other kid meant, said to his mother who had also seen the kid's actions, "Mother, I think he's saying that he's got his own clothes in his backpack…" The kid then nodded as though certifying that what Kazuma had said was correct.

"Oh okay… Well, anyway, here's the towel that you'll need for you to dry yourself…" she said to their guest indicating the towel which was placed on a table just outside the bathtub before turning to her son and saying, "Listen, it's almost time for lunch so I'll be cooking in the kitchen; Kazuma I'll leave the things here to you okay? I know you're big enough to handle things, make sure our little guest is comfortable, and I'll just call you guys when lunch is ready, okay?"

"Okay" Kazuma said brightly as he accepted a kiss on the forehead from his mom before she went out once she had closed the door behind her, he turned to the kid beside him "You can take your bath now; I'll just be waiting outside, okay? Just knock from the inside or call me if you need anything…" he then turned to leave but felt something tugging his sleeves once again, he looked back at the kid with a questioning look on his face.

The kid was looking sideways as he mouthed some words; however Kazuma, even for the life of him, couldn't comprehend what the kid was saying. Kazuma looked curiously at the other person in the room, "Can't you speak?" he asked, guessing the reason why the kid wasn't saying anything. The pink haired kid looked at him once again before bowing his head as though in defeat, Kazuma wondered for a while if he had said something offensive to the boy but before he could think of anything else, a quiet voice spoke, "Please stay…"

Kazuma was startled at the sudden sound and quickly turned around and looked for its source, however a gentle tug on his sleeve told him everything, he stared incredulously at the kid in front of him, did he really hear what he thought he just heard?

The kid was now looking at him through the gaps in his pink bangs that covered his eyes but his amethystine orbs were still visible, seeing as it was the only thing that stood out from the clash of the boy's pink hair and now reddening face.

"A-Are you sure you're okay with that?" Kazuma said to the other kid who gave a slight nod and looked away. "Oh okay then," Kazuma stated as he finally gave in; he instinctively went to their toilet and put down its cover and sat there staring in the complete opposite direction from the other kid.

"Thanks," he heard the kid say from behind him. The sound of clothes being thrown onto the floor reached his ears next accompanied by the unmistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down followed by the sound of discarding more clothes and finally the sweet, sweet sound of splashing water. Kazuma kept to himself for the rest of the kid's bath, thinking of far away things such as 'what would be their lunch and dinner for today' or 'what time would his sister be returning home' and even 'what would be his next Ja-pan', these thoughts carried him throughout his little 'ordeal' and before he knew it, the kid, who was now clean and clothed, was tapping his back a sign that he was finished. Kazuma finally turned around, glad that everything was over, however he hadn't really counted on what he would see; once he had been cleaned, the kid from before didn't really look as Kazuma had remembered, his hair was much more tamed, Kazuma guessed that the kid had a comb inside his bag as well, and it was of a delicate pink color, his amethystine orbs seemed to shine brighter just like his fair skin that looked as though they were glowing which had given him a first impression that the kid was emitting some kind of white light. He was dressed in a simple pale green t-shirt and white shorts with a pair of rubber slippers on his feet.

"K-Kazu-kun…" the kid said quietly as though testing out the way he would be saying the brunet's name which instantly caught the brunet's attention. "I just want to say, 'Thank you' for everything… I may have caused some trouble for your family, so I'm also really sorry for that…"

It seems to Kazuma as though the kid had planned what he was going to say while he was still in bathing but that didn't matter one bit to him, the kid was already speaking openly now, he wasn't as scared as he had been before and that was the important thing for Kazuma, "No problem… Uh, what was your name again?" he suddenly asked.

"Oh, um, it's S-Sh-Shi-"

"Shi? Nice name. Would you mind if I call you 'Shi-chan' form now on?" Kazuma asked eagerly, because unless he was misunderstanding things it seems that the boy was going to be friends with him.

'Isn't '-chan' used to address a girl? Anyhow, he didn't even let me finish my whole name…' the boy thought to himself bit decided to just let it slip; instead he gave Kazuma a nod to show his approval.

---

Two hours later the two children were lying on Kazuma's bed, wallowing in the cool summer breeze that filled up the room, coming in from the window. Kazuma had introduced his new friend to the other members of his family (meaning his grandparents) during lunch however Shigeru (or 'Shi-chan' as Kazuma knows him) still wasn't very social to the other people in the Kazuma's family and had somehow made it a point to stay close to the brunet at all times. The brunet's mother had also said that Shi-chan was welcome to stay but only until they had found or contacted his parents or some other relative because they might be looking for him as well and it was good manners to return him to his rightful family…

"Shi-chan, I've been wondering…" Kazuma stated as he sat up and eyed the kid who was lying beside him, "What were you doing all alone outside this morning? And why were you crying? Did something bad happen to you?"

The kid in question also sat up and eyed the brunet for a while, "Kazu-kun, you've already asked me that before… I'm telling you, it's nothing…" he said in a rather weary voice.

"You know I don't believe that it's just 'nothing'? You were crying, Shi-chan," Kazuma pointed out, "and boys don't usually cry… at least that's what my sister always tells me…" he added rather doubtfully.

"I don't think so… I feel that everyone should freely express their emotions, they shouldn't be bound by things such as 'boys don't cry'…" Shigeru replied.

"So, you're gonna tell me what happened to you, then?" Kazuma asked hopefully.

Shigeru just stared at him; this guy sure was determined to know the truth and there was something else… something about the brunet made him very comfortable in speaking up, an unusual sort of aura surrounded the boy and it somehow told him that he could completely trust him and confide everything to the brunet beside him. Having finally decided, he raised his right arm towards the brunet with all his fingers curled into a fist with the exception of his little finger, which was sticking up from the rest. "You promise not to tell anyone?"

Kazuma beamed before interlocking his own pinkie with the other boy's. "I promise," he said, looking at his new friend's smiling face.

As though his morale was suddenly increased by the brunet's word, Shigeru began with his story, "Everything started two days ago when my family and I went to nearby city to have a vacation, my mom sort of heard that it was a good place to take a break so we went there… The whole trip was fine and we had ourselves booked in some fancy hotel, we went on a shopping spree led by my mom who always liked to have new clothes, shoes and stuff before we finally had dinner in some kind of Italian restaurant… Our first day there had been pretty good… or so I had thought; later in the evening, I wasn't entirely sure of what the time was but I'm guessing it was around midnight, I woke up hearing angry shouting voices coming from outside my bedroom door (you see my and my parents' bedrooms were separate) I went nearer to the door and pressed my ears against it, I quickly realized that the voices belonged to my parents. I could distinctly hear my mom's retorting voice opposed to my dad's accusing one, I don't know how you'd feel about it but I just couldn't stand seeing them fighting… again…" Shigeru was in tears once again, "Tears had started to from in my eyes back there as I continued to hear their shouts to one another, and when I finally couldn't take it anymore I just burst out of my room and went to hug my mom, she was the one I was closer to in our family, both of them instantly stopped upon seeing the tears on my face… My mom hugged me tightly saying that there wasn't anything to worry about but I knew that she was only saying that so that I won't cry anymore, I told them, amidst my tears and hiccups, that I didn't want to hear or see them fighting anymore… They told me that they wouldn't, my dad apologized to my mom who accepted it and apologized back as well, and then my dad hugged my mom and me, saying that everything would be better from then on… B-But they lied!" Shi-chan's voice had started shake with anger, "They just told me that they had made up but they didn't, the next night they were fighting again, it was like they were only pretending to get along whenever I was around! I-I don't think that they even love each other anymore… I knew I heard them say something about a divorce… I didn't know what to do anymore, if I went to them again, they'd fake reconciling once again and tell me that everything was alright when it wasn't. Then when I'm off to bed they'll start fighting again… I didn't want that, I didn't want any of it; I just wanted to get away from them and all their lies… that's when I decided to run away… I changed into a casual clothes and grabbed another few clothes, my favorite comb and a couple of sweets that I always carry with me and stuffed them into my knapsack, I waited for them to finish fighting and then waited some more to make sure that they were already asleep, I had no idea how long I've waited but when I saw the first rays of sunlight out my window, I ran away… I didn't know where I was going; I was simply determined to get away from them… I ran for hours and hours rushing past the city into the countryside, the roads were uneven and I've fallen a couple of times but I kept on going… At one point I stopped, that's when I've realized that I was lost, I looked back but there were around a dozen pathways around me that I didn't where I had come from, so I decided to just keep on walking but after a few more minutes a new thought came to my mind, 'If my dad was only being nice to mom because I was there, how would he treat her now that I'm gone? How would my mom feel when she finds out that I've ran away?' fresh tears flowed from my eyes at this thought, with the tears blurring my vision I hadn't noticed that I've reached a house, I instantly fell to the ground, my tired feet finally giving in. I didn't know if anyone would find me or even if anyone would even bother to come near me, but then you showed up," Shigeru looked at Kazuma with a grateful smile, "You came to me and even comforted me… why? I was a complete stranger and I could've harmed you in some way or another but you didn't back away, why?" he asked the brunet.

"Well, I don't know… I had just finished my shower and was combing my hair when I heard your cries, I looked out of my window and saw you sitting on the ground in front of the house so I went outside and came to try and help you… I did it because I saw that you were really depressed and there were also tears in your eyes…" Kazuma answered simply.

"But what if I was just faking those tears and everything? Didn't you even think of the consequences of what could've happened if I turned out to be bad?" Shigeru continued to ask.

"You couldn't have possibly been pretending… The look on your face showed that you were really sad and the hurt look in your eyes back then just confirmed that everything was real," Kazuma replied.

Shigeru seemed to have been struck dumb by the brunet's words, he had never heard someone else speak like that; he flashed an appreciative smile towards the brunet saying, "Thank you for understanding…"

"Your welcome, but you know smiling looks better on you without having tearstains all over your cheeks," Kazuma told him as the brunet gently wiped away the tearstains on the other boy's cheeks causing the latter to flush lightly. "So what do you plan to do now? Are you going to go back to your parents or do you want them to find you here?" Kazuma asked upon finishing his previous task.

"I-I don't know…" Shigeru said as he stifled a yawn, "Maybe I'll give them time to think over their mistakes and really resolve their problems before I agree to go back to them… but until then, is it okay if I stay here for a while?"

"Of course you can stay, that's what my mom was saying during lunch wasn't it? But if you want to stay you'd better have a nap first, you hadn't really slept well last night and you really need a rest from all the running that you've done," Kazuma said with a smile.

"You won't leave me, will you Kazu-kun?" Shigeru asked apprehensively.

"Of course not. In fact, I think I'll join you, it's about time for my afternoon nap anyway," Kazuma stated as he grabbed a pillow and gave it to his friend before getting one for himself, the two of them lay side by side and soon enough sleep dawned on both of them.

---

During their dinner Kazuma gladly introduced his new friend to his sister who seemed to be glad that her brother had found a new friend. Shigeru became much more sociable since his talk with Kazuma that afternoon, it seems as though an invisible weight had been lifted off his chest. Bedtime then came and Kazuma had pleaded again and again to his mom to allow Shi-chan to sleep in his room wherein the woman eventually gave in, to the delight of the two children. Kazuma and Shigeru slept under the sheets since the night air proved to be really cold, with their hands cupped together, the two children slept peacefully facing each other.

However, in the middle of the night, Shigeru awoke with a jolt, his heart hammering in his chest and his eyes scanning the room frantically, finally he was able to calm down, 'It was just a dream' he told himself, 'Mom and Dad are far away from here, I'm sure that they're not fighting, they're probably getting along now that I've gone, and they're probably looking for me…' But somehow his own words seemed to depress him even more, 'What if they are fighting? Fighting because of me… Maybe, they're blaming each other for why I ran away…'

He automatically squeezed the hand that was between his own two but wait- there wasn't anything between his hands, in fact his hands weren't even clasped around each other, he looked straight ahead but just found the blanket, pillow and mattress there, ('Where was Kazu-kun?'), he made to sit up but a he tried to do so, he felt something, a sort of weight, shift closer to him. He looked down and found himself staring at a mop of brown hair, ('Kazu-kun?'), he gently pried the person from him and sure enough, he saw that it was the brunet but when he tried to remove the brunet's grip around his middle, the brunet's hold tightened at the same time muttering, "Please don't take him away from me…" Shigeru was momentarily frozen; did he really hear that right? But finally deciding that it didn't really matter, he gently shook Kazuma awake. The brunet blinked up at him blearily. "Kazu-kun, I had a nightmare… My mom and dad were fighting again and I didn't do anything again this time… What should I do? Do you really think they're fighting? What if they're fighting because of me?" he asked the sleepy brunet, one after the other.

Kazuma continued to look up at him for a while before finally answering, "Shi-chan, that was just a dream… It doesn't really mean that it's true… Just go back to sleep, okay? Tomorrow you'll wake up feeling much better…" He then closed his eyes again and resumed his previous position of hugging the other.

'Kazu-kun's right, it was just a dream; I shouldn't think that it's real or anything…' Shigeru told himself, yet his heart was still beating rather quickly and he was pretty sure it wasn't because of his dreams anymore; Kazuma had just laid his head on his chest as though it was a pillow and the brunet's firm hold on him wasn't doing anything to impede his accelerating heartbeats.

"Your heart's beating really fast, Shi-chan," Kazuma told him quietly as he suppressed a giggle.

After a few more minutes of quiet struggling, Shigeru finally had his heartbeat rate back to normal, his arms were now wrapped around the brunet and his eyes were shut tight, he forced himself to go to sleep and was pretty successful in doing so.

Morning came and Kazuma found himself waking in the most unusual place that he could ever imagine, safely cocooned in Shi-chan's embrace; he knew that he voluntarily chose to sleep while hugging the other last night because it was so cold but he hadn't counted on waking up like that. And speaking of 'waking up', as Kazuma continued to stare at the other kid, the latter slowly woke up as well feeling quite refreshed from sleep. Shigeru was rather surprised at waking up with Kazuma staring up at him, a bright pink hue spread on his cheeks but nonetheless he greeted the brunet a 'Good morning' that the brunet returned with a smile. The two of them fixed the bed together before they headed to the bathroom where they washed their faces and rinsed their mouth before going downstairs for breakfast.

Shigeru was quick to notice that Kazuma's family ate bread in every meal, he asked the brunet why and the brunet replied in a long tale of his sister who had gotten tired of eating rice everyday, had introduced him and his family to bread by taking Kazuma to a bakery where he had been taught by the owner how to bake, he also told him of how the old man who taught him gave him the dream of making Ja-pan, a bread that will symbolize their home country of Japan. Shigeru found the brunet's dream quite interesting so Kazuma promised him a bread-making lesson right after lunch.

After having breakfast, Kazuma and Shigeru retreated back into Kazuma's bedroom; Kazuma informed his friend that it was already a sort of daily routine for him to take a bath after having breakfast so the two of them got some clean clothes as well as a towel and trooped off into the bathroom. They went according to their plan wherein Kazuma would bath first whilst Shigeru waited for him (just as Kazuma had done the day before) and then Shigeru would take his bath whilst Kazuma waited for him. After taking their baths, the two of them had nothing else to do so they just talked about random stuff… until the arrived at the topic of school…

"You know, I'm going to be in the third grade next school year…" Shigeru told Kazuma with a hint of pride.

"Wow… Really? But you're just around the same age as me, right? I'm just starting first grade next school year so how come you're already in third grade?" Kazuma asked quite impressed at his friend.

"Well, I've skipped grades, you see… It's sort of like I'm a bit 'advanced' for my supposed year so my teachers suggested that I skip grades…" Shigeru told him.

"You must be really good… So can you teach me some stuff? I mean if it isn't a bother to you…" Kazuma said tentatively although it couldn't have been anymore plainer that he really wanted to learn.

"Sure, why not? I mean, you are going to teach me as well so I'll be glad to teach you something in return," Shigeru replied and he started teaching Kazuma very much like a tutor.

Kazuma was a pretty quick learner; he had already mastered addition, subtraction, multiplication and division in just the two and a half hours that Shigeru taught him. They went down for lunch and Kazuma excitedly told his mother that Shi-chan was teaching him Math, and that tomorrow Shi-chan had promised to teach him more Math stuff meanwhile he'll be teaching his friend about baking bread. Kazuma's mom seemed really pleased that her son was enjoying the company of his new friend even though they had only known each other for about a day.

After lunch, Kazuma and Shigeru helped clear the table and waited patiently as the brunet's mom washed the dishes and prepared the things that they would need in order to make bread. She then sat down on a chair and watched her son teach. Kazuma and his friend were both standing on chairs with flour, salt, fat, yeast, and a bowl of warm water set in bowls in front of them. "Just follow what I do," Kazuma said to his friend who nodded. "For now I'll teach you the basic steps in bread-making. First, we'll need to wash our hands and make sure that our workplace is clean, we also need to make sure that we have all the ingredients that we need: flour (he pointed to the bowl with some sort of white powder), salt (he pointed to another but smaller bowl where salt was placed)…" and he continued to identify the ingredients, one by one as Shigeru watched and absorbed the new information.

"Now we mix all the ingredients," Kazuma stated as he tipped the bowl of flour letting the powdery substance fall nicely on the pristine white tabletop and Shi-chan doing the same although with more caution, as he wasn't used in doing so. Next Kazuma made a sort of 'hole' in the flour where he placed the other ingredients slowly and one by one.

"Here we start to knead the dough," the brunet told his friend, "You first cover up the pit with the other flours, like so, and then we knead it like this…" he demonstrated the way proper way of kneading bread to the other, "Now you try…" Kazuma watched as Shi-chan kneaded his own dough, pressing down on it and then massaging it, his face screwed up in concentration, after sometime he looked up at Kazuma again, "Is this alright?"

The brunet smiled at him, "Nice work, Shi-chan, although you shouldn't put too much force… just knead it gently, okay?" He then resumed his kneading, and so did his friend. After around ten to fifteen more minutes Kazuma halted in his actions as his dough had already risen resembling a small boulder, it's first fermentation completed; he then opted to look at how Shi-chan was doing, he had been told that the quick fermentation of his dough was because he had ultra-warm hands, known as the 'Solar Hands', they were very handy in baking because they don't only speed up the process but the product is said to be better than those done with ordinary hands but they were also supposed to be very rare which is why he was surprised when he saw that Shi-chan's dough was exactly just like his, all risen to a boulder shape.

Shigeru had been looking at Kazuma's dough every once in a while just to make sure that what he was doing was right; he had never ever baked before and now that he was, he's enjoying every last bit of it; he wanted to do it, if not perfectly, at least as close to that perfection as possible. So when he saw that Kazuma's dough was already raised, he was quite startled since it was just a few minutes but another surprise came to him in the form of his very own dough, which had risen up just like the brunet's, so he studied Kazuma's actions and finally molded his dough into the boulder-shape in the likes of the one made by the brunet. He was quite startled when he looked back at the brunet to find Kazuma staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face, anxiety spread throughout him, "K-Kazu-kun… D-Did I do something wrong?" he asked tentatively, afraid that the brunet would tell him that he had done something wrong.

Kazuma's unintelligible look turned into a wide smile as he turned to his mother. Mother, look! His dough rose up as quickly as mine did! Even onee-chan's dough didn't rise up as fast... Mom look…" he pointed to the dough that his friend had made before continuing in a voice that shook in excitement, "Mother, I-I think Shi-chan has the Solar Hands too!!"

Meanwhile, Shigeru was entirely confused; what in the world were 'Solar Hands' and what was Kazuma all excited about?

"Really?" the brunet's mom asked, "Well, let's see than shall we?" She then extended her hands, palms up, in the direction of the two boys; Kazuma placed his hand on his mother's, motioning for his friend to do the same. Hieko then closed her hand and felt the hands of the two boys. She then released the hands, beaming, "My, my… Kazuma, it seems that you were right… Shi-chan does have the Solar Hands as well… Isn't that great?"

Kazuma nodded his head vigorously, smiling at his friend as he did so but the other kid just looked back at him with confusion written all over his face. "Kazu-kun… I don't understand… Why are you so happy? What are 'Solar Hands' and how can you tell that I have those kinds of hands as well? Is that a good thing…?" the disconcerted child finally asked.

If possible, the brunet smiled wider and happily explained the whole situation to his friend "Shi-chan, sorry if you got left out for a while… 'Solar Hands' are the types of hands that are warmer than others… They are very useful for aspiring bakers because they kind of 'speed up' the fermentation process… The old man who taught me told me that these kinds of hands were really rare… but now, I found out that you have the Solar Hands as well and that made me really happy because at first I was afraid that it was some kind of abnormality but I don't think like that anymore… Coz now I have a really great friend who's just like me and I don't feel sad anymore…"

"But how did you know that I have these so-called 'Solar Hands'?" Shigeru asked.

"Well, when a person has Solar hands his or her hands are really warm and since your hands are as warm as mine, my Mom found out that you have Solar Hands as well…" Kazuma replied happily.

Shigeru had finally, somehow, understood what the brunet was telling him and smiled back. They then continued to make bread and around two hours later a fresh set of bread sat on a platter surrounded by seven people and some tea. Shigeru's first attempt at making bread wasn't bad, Kazuma gladly told the other members of his family as they ate and drank, and that tomorrow they would try to make a new Ja-pan…

Three days passed and everyone in the Azuma household was getting long well, Shigeru was adjusting better and better and he wasn't clinging onto Kazuma as though the brunet was a lifesaver anymore but the two still kept close… Hieko was glad that Kazuma was greatly enjoying the company of his new friend but somehow she still felt a nagging feeling that told her that she must do something and quick… So one day, whilst her son was taking a bath, she gently knocked on the door to Kazuma's room, for she knew that that was where their little guest was at the moment… "Come in" she heard a small voice say form inside the room and so she entered. She found Shi-chan sitting on the bed looking fairly bored, she smiled at him and closed the door behind her; she then moved to sit on the edge of the bed indicating for the child to come closer, which the kid did obediently.

"Shi-chan, you've been staying here for about five days now…" Hieko gently told the kid on her lap whose face had suddenly shown worry.

"Did I do something wrong, Hieko-san? Are you going to tell me to leave…?" Shigeru asked as he bowed his head.

"No, no, no… it's nothing like that…" Hieko continued comfortingly, "You're welcome to stay here for as long as you need to but I've been thinking… and I'm pretty sure you've been thinking of this too… You've been away for quite a long time; don't you think that your parents are really worrying about you right now? I don't even know why you ran away but I think five days of not seeing you could really have an effect on your parents…I'm sure that if ever that they had hurt you, they would be really sorry right now and they'd really want to have you back… Don't think that I'm just saying this to make you go away, I actually don't want you to leave because my son had found a really great friend in you but I'm just worried about your parents… Don't you want to see them again?"

Shigeru mulled over the things that Hieko had said in his head… she was right… and he really was thinking of those stuff for the past nights, he really missed his parents a lot but… somehow, he couldn't just see himself leaving Kazuma… they had been really, really good friends and they had shared everything with each other… they had so much fun together and he couldn't just leave the kid like that… Oh great, now he was torn between his parents and his friend… Normally many would automatically pick their parents but there was something about the brunet… no, not just the brunet but everything that they had experienced together that made him want to stay with the kid but he knew what he must do and he knew that he was probably taking the hospitality that they had given him for granted so with his mind fully decided he looked up at the woman who was holding him and stated, "I… Hieko-san could you please call up my parents and tell them to just fetch me here tomorrow? I have the number of the hotel room that we had stayed in as well as my mom and dad's cellphone number in my backpack…"

---

Later that night… (Bedtime)

"You know, Shi-chan, you're the greatest friend in the whole wide world…" Kazuma stated as his friend climbed onto the bed that they shared, "I wish that we would never part…"

Shigeru suddenly felt guilt-ridden, he hadn't told Kazuma that he was already going to leave tomorrow; he just couldn't bear saying goodbye to his friend, Hieko had already contacted his parents earlier and they had agreed to pick him up the next morning… 'Maybe I could leave while Kazu-kun's sleeping…' he thought to himself 'then I wouldn't have to say 'Goodbye' to him…' he turned towards the brunet only to find the brunet beaming widely at him and his feeling of remorse increased but despite that he smiled back at Kazuma before lying down and said to the brunet, "Goodnight, Kazu-kun…"

Kazuma followed suit and laid down facing the other, "You too, Shi-chan…"

Shigeru extended his hand and gently brushed away the bangs from Kazuma's forehead, and then he leaned forward and pressed his lips on the brunet's forehead.

"Uh… Shi-chan?" Kazuma asked as he flushed to a delicate pink color.

"I just want you to know that even if I'm gone from this place, I'll always be thinking of you… Thank you for everything… You've been a really great friend to me…" Shigeru replied smilingly as he lay back on the bed and closed his eyes to sleep.

Meanwhile, Kazuma was really confused. 'What was that all about? What is he talking about? Is he going to leave already?' The brunet felt a twinge of despair at his last thought, he took another glance at the boy sleeping beside him and a sad smile made its way to his face… Even if Shi-chan really was going to leave tomorrow, the next day or whenever it was, he still had this current time to spend with him and with that thought he slowly shifted nearer towards Shigeru and laid his head on the kid's chest, listening to the soft thumping of his heartbeats, wrapping his arms around the kid's middle and spoke quietly, "Shi-chan, if you're still awake please listen to what I'm gonna say… Even if you're leaving sometime soon, I just want you to know that you'll still be my friend no matter what and that I'll never forget you…" He had just closed his eyes and was listening to the other's heartbeats when he suddenly felt something wrap around him, looking up he saw Shigeru looking at him with an appreciative look on his face.

"Thank you, Kazu-kun…" Shigeru said as he hugged the brunet tightly. "I'll always remember you, too… I-I'm already leaving tomorrow morning…" He didn't know it himself why he had suddenly told Kazuma everything but something in his mind assured him that it was better this way… The two of them were hugging each other like brothers who were going to be separated and neither of them wanted to let go of the other… Kazuma had started humming a small tune that eventually placed the two of them to sleep.

---

The next morning…

Shigeru woke up just as the sun was rising… He couldn't go back to sleep even though it was still too early and the reason was very obvious to him, just a few hours more and he was already leaving the place that had been his source of comfort for the past couple of days… he looked down and found the brunet sleeping peacefully on his chest, his serene face seemed to make him feel more remorseful than ever… the brunet was the only one who had really understood him and had always been there for him… he knew that he couldn't face the kid when he would leave so he decided to just let the brunet sleep in, hoping that Kazuma would wake up when everything was over, when he had already left… Having come to a conclusion, Shigeru kissed Kazuma's forehead once more before hugging the kid tightly since it would probably be his last chance of doing so at the same time he couldn't help but whisper words of apology to the brunet; "I'm sorry, Kazu-kun… I'm really, really sorry…" He then gently pried Kazuma away from him and got off the bed, he went downstairs where he knew the brunet's family was having breakfast.

Just as he had reached the foot of the stairs he met the brunet's older sister, whom he hadn't been close to during his stay, which is why he was greatly surprised when she picked him up and hugged him before placing him down again. Shigeru had a questioning look on his face whilst the brunet's sister had a warm smile on her own as she spoke, "I know we haven't been real close with each other during the past few days but despite that I want you to know that I'm still gonna miss you when you go… You've been like a true member of this family and I'm glad that you and Kazuma had been really good friends… And speaking of Kazuma, why isn't he with you, Shi-chan?" Inaho asked.

"He's still sleeping", Shigeru replied quietly.

"Oh. Well anyway, I must be going to school now…" Inaho stated as she led Shigeru to their dining table where the other members of her family were eating, she then bade goodbye and went off to school on her bike.

However, Shigeru didn't seem to have an appetite for eating, he just sat on his chair looking blankly at the empty plate in front of him. The brunet's mom kept offering him the different kinds of food that she had cooked herself but even though Shigeru knew that they were really scrumptious he just couldn't find it in himself to have a proper meal. Finally, Hieko was able to convince him to eat some toast before he went upstairs and had his shower.

Shigeru changed into his clean clothes and started packing his bag; every few minutes he would check if Kazuma was still asleep but it already seemed pointless since the brunet appeared to be in deep slumber. With his knapsack finally prepared, Shigeru wore it on his back; he took one last look at the brunet's sleeping form before going out of the room.

As the doors closed, a pair of caramel orbs appeared as Kazuma opened his eyes, tears started to leak out from his eyes as he continued to stare at the closed door. Shi-chan had left him… that was the only thought going through his mind over and over and over again… He then heard the distinct sound of a car arriving and halting just outside their house, he stood up and walked towards his window and, looking down, he saw a sleek black car parked on the street. Then he heard their front door opening and he saw his mother and Shigeru walking out and stopping a few feet away from the car. Kazuma gripped the window sill tighter as he felt as though he was going to explode with all the emotions mixed inside of him; he felt happy for his friend because he was finally going to be with his family but he was also feeling sad because Shi-chan was going to leave him, on the other hand he felt guilty for feigning sleep around Shigeru since this was already the last time that he would probably see the kid again but he was also feeling quite annoyed since Shigeru himself had not woken him up on purpose however all these thoughts were chased away from his mind as he saw Shigeru turning his way, he quickly moved away from the window and flattened himself on the wall beside it, his heart beating fast. Kazuma closed his eyes; No he wasn't going to let his friend leave just like that, he had to do something… With that thought in mind, the brunet raced downstairs, he didn't mind going barefooted; he simply had to have one last talk with Shi-chan.

Shigeru was waiting patiently with Kazuma's mom in the living room, his parents hadn't specified a time when they would come so he had no choice but to wait, wait and wait. However, ten minutes hadn't even passed and he already heard the sound of an approaching vehicle, he looked out of the window and saw a car parking just in front of the house, a highly familiar car… his father's car. He straightened himself and stood up, a notion for the adult beside him that what they've been waiting for has arrived. Kazuma's mom accompanied Shigeru outside to finally give him back to his rightful family.

Shigeru walked slowly, he was still thinking of the brunet and even though he had convinced himself for so many times that what he was doing was for the best, at that very moment he felt that he was making a really big mistake. 'Just a few more steps…' he told himself as he gradually moved towards their car. But about ten feet from the car he had a sudden urge to look back, to which he gave in. Shigeru looked up towards the window of Kazuma's room, he was pretty sure that he had seen a blur of brown whisking out of his sight but then again, maybe his eyes were just playing tricks on him, Kazuma was probably still asleep right now…

Shigeru halted in his tracks as the car door opened, a man with graying hair and a woman whose hair was obscured by the wide hat that she wore went out. The two adults had identical looks of relief and happiness as they laid their eyes on their son. "Mom, Dad, I'm sorry for running away… I promise I won't do it again…" Shigeru spoke with sincerity, looking directly at his parents.

"Oh, Shigeru… We were both so worried, are you alright?" the woman asked as she went forward and hugged her son.

Shigeru only responded with a nod.

"You know, when you suddenly disappeared, your father and I kept on blaming ourselves… We knew that it was because of the two of us always fighting that you ran away… Can you ever forgive us?" Shigeru's mother continued to query as she held he son at arm's length as though examining him for any injuries.

"Have you two made-up already? Do you promise not to fight again?" Shigeru asked sadly, looking at his father who had stepped forward.

"Of course… I promise you…" his father answered.

"Thank you…" Shigeru said happily as his father hugged him and his mother; finally his whole family problem was solved… so now he had just one last thing to take care of… "Mom, Dad, can I-"

But even before he could finish his statement, another voice spoke. A small, trembling, and hiccupping voice… All of them turned towards its source, which was a young brunet standing under the doorframe with tears falling from his eyes that showed pure sadness… "S-Shi-chan… p-please don't g-go just yet…"

Shigeru didn't even notice that he was already slowly removing his mother's hold upon him as he turned to face the brunet, he was about to go towards Kazuma but his mother held him back with a look that simply said that she didn't want to lose her son again.

"I know that it probably isn't in my place to say this but can you please allow Shigeru to have one last talk with my son?" Hieko spoke softly, causing the family of three to look up at her. "They've been really good friends during the short time that Shigeru had stayed in our home so I think one last goodbye wouldn't hurt, don't you think?"

"Please, mom, just give a few minutes to say goodbye to my friend… please" Shigeru pleaded earnestly.

"Okay then," Shigeru's mom finally agreed as she stood up, "I'll be having a talk with Mrs. Azuma as well, to thank her for taking care of you so be quick okay?"

Shigeru nodded and instantly sped towards Kazuma, who was automatically cocooned in Shigeru's embrace.

"Shh… Kazu-kun, don't cry… its okay…" Shigeru whispered quietly to the brunet who was crying onto him.

"I-It's not okay…" Kazuma said in-between his sobs, "Y-You were about t-to l-leave but you d-didn't even wake me up… we couldn't p-possibly meet again and y-you're just g-going to leave me like that?" he asked with a small hint of annoyance.

"I'm sorry about that, I admit that I was wrong on not waking you up," Shigeru admitted, "but I only did it because I didn't want to see you cry like you're doing right now…"

"B-but if you leave w-without s-saying anything I-I'll never s-see you again… I-I don't wan t-to l-lose you, Shi-chan... I don't wanna…" the brunet continued to protest as he grasped the front of Shigeru's shirt tightly.

"I don't want to part from you, too Kazu-kun, but we have to… we have our own families who take care of us and no matter how much we try, I really can't stay here…" Shigeru explained as he held back his tears. "So for now, we must part…"

"But-" Kazuma tried to say something but Shigeru stopped him.

"Listen, Kazu-kun, even if we're separated now I just want you to know that I'll never forget you no matter what and someday, I know we'll meet again…" Shigeru said. "You won't forget me too, right?"

"Of course, I'll always remember you… But how can you say that we'll meet again?" Kazuma asked as he looked up at his friend.

"Just promise me one thing…"

"Anything, Shi-chan…"

Shigeru moved back a bit from Kazuma raising his closed fist once again with his pinkie sticking out, "Promise me that you'll become the first-class baker that you dream to be and I promise you that I'll do my best, to be a first-class baker as well so that someday we would meet again and still be friends… Do you promise me that, Kazu-kun?"

"I promise." Kazuma replied determinedly linking his own pinkie with Shigeru's, sealing their promise to each other. "And you will keep your side of the promise too, right Shi-chan?"

"Of course…" Shigeru stated trying to stay on the positive side of things as he gently wiped away the tearstains on the brunet's cheeks. "You know it's really quite funny when you look at it…"

Kazuma looked at him questioningly, not quite understanding what his friend was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, when we first met I was the one crying and you were comforting me… and now when I'm leaving, you're the one in tears and I'm the one consoling you…" Shigeru finished, he then turned to look at the brunet in his embrace only to find Kazuma staring up at him.

Kazuma kept gazing at his friend's face as though trying to memorize all of Shigeru's features. He was just about to say something when Shigeru suddenly turned to face him; his caramel orbs met Shigeru's amethyst ones and his own words seemed to have stuck in his throat. He had never seen Shigeru this up close before and now he seemed to have been temporarily struck dumb at the sight, his insides were squirming uncontrollably and he had no idea why it was so…

Shigeru was quite surprised as well to find Kazuma staring up at him, sure he was already used to having Kazuma cuddled up to him and it was pretty much like the situation that he was in at the moment but he couldn't stop thinking how the brunet looked so different up close… Kazuma looked so… different… it may be just because he had just stopped crying but the brunet's caramel orbs seemed to shine brighter and it was as though they were trying to tell him something… Shigeru gulped as he slowly leaned closer to the brunet, still looking Kazuma in the eyes and absentmindedly brushing away his bangs from his face. His heartbeat was speeding up as his eyelids were involuntarily closing and so were the brunet's, as far as he could see… They getting nearer… and nearer… and-

"Shigeru, it's time for us to leave…"

Shigeru suddenly pulled back, it seems that his mind had been completely empty of thoughts so that when his mother spoke, it startled him so much. It was as though he had been in a trance; he turned to look at his friend only to find Kazuma's face just about two inches away from his, a blush quickly spread across his face as the brunet's face turned all red. But deciding that it didn't matter much since he didn't have much time and they were already about to leave, he called out "Just a second mom…" before he gave Kazuma one final hug.

"I'm gonna miss you, Shi-chan…" Kazuma said as he hugged back.

"Me too… So I'll be seeing you in few years then…" Shigeru stated as he let go of the other, a smile making its way to his lips.

"Okay then, see ya…" Kazuma beamed, feeling (unexplainably) much, much better than before. He watched as Shigeru went to his parents and got into their car, his friend even rolled down the windows and waved to him as the car sped off…

(Present: Shigeru POV)

'I kept my promise haven't I? What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?' I continued to ask these questions to myself, trying to find a reason why I'm so miserable. 'Maybe I'm just meant to be in this kind of life… Maybe we're just not meant for each other…' I pause at my last thought, if that was correct then it would explain why everything is so confusing for me… I've been making myself believe that just because of the past that we've shared we should be together when we really shouldn't be… He deserves someone better than me… After all, our promise to each other back then was just to find each other and continue being friends, there was nothing in it that said that we should love each other… It all made sense now; I've been fooling myself all along… I took a big gulp of air and looked up as I felt a drop of water fall onto my cheek, the skies were dark (well that wouldn't be surprising seeing that dusk had just arrived) but a roll of thunder accompanied by a flash of lightning came next and before I knew it, I was already soaking wet under the pouring rain. But the thing is I didn't even bother to get up and run for shelter, I just continued to sit on the rusty old swing, feeling the rain wash throughout my body. I've been so stupid, I don't even deserve to live anymore, and I'm probably the biggest idiot on the planet… How could've I made myself believe that someone like me and a great artisan like him could ever be together?

Sure, I'm known as the genius prodigy who graduated Harvard at the young age of sixteen but that's just it… I'm nothing special compared to him… He's a true first-class artisan and he's won so many baking competitions whether it is a national or a worldwide competition, he always comes out as the victor in the end and when I look at myself I always find nothing… I've done nothing great and I'm just nothing compared to him… And somehow, I didn't seem to care anymore if he remembered our past or if he felt the same way towards me as I do to him… None of that mattered anymore; he deserves someone better than me, someone who would always be there for him and would never leave him like I did…

I absentmindedly stand up and all of a sudden I feel a searing pain coming from my left hand. I took a closer look and realize that I've just hit the swing's rusting iron bar support with my fist, and from the pain the my hand is emitting, I'd say that I've hit it pretty hard… I pull back my hand and examined it closely; there were grazes on my knuckles and some of those grazes turned out to be cuts and blood was coming out from the wounds and mixing with the rain… "Oh great now I'm hurting myself for no good reason…" I state bitterly as I held my injured hand in my other hand. But even before I could think another thought the sound of approaching footsteps reached my ears, I turned to the source and found a wide-eyed Kazuma looking at me from under his umbrella.

I wanted to run away but I knew that Kazuma, by instinct, would probably run after me… so I just stood still and waited for him to reach me; he instantly noticed that I'm soaking wet as well as that a trickle of blood was running down my left forearm, he then shifted the position of his umbrella so that it now covered the two of us.

"Kanmuri, what happened to you?" he asked me as he gently pulled my injured hand and looked at it, before he looked at me directly. "You're soaking wet and your hand's wounded… Did something happen? What are you doing here anyway?"

I slowly pulled back my hand and looked away before answering his questions. "I was just thinking about stuff… I was probably thinking too hard so that I didn't realize that it was already raining…"

"What happened to your hand?"

"It's nothing… I just grazed myself when I accidentally brushed against a rusty iron bar… Well, I must go now, you should be on your way too, Azuma-kun, I don't want to be a distraction…" I turn away but his hand took hold of my right forearm and made me face him once again.

"Look, Kanmuri, why don't you tell us anything? Manager, Tsukino and I are all concerned… (he took a deep breath as though making a decision) You're coming with me and I'm not letting go of you until you tell me what's wrong…" Kazuma said decisively and I know that even if I try, Kazuma would never give in.

And with that, Kazuma pulled me along towards his current residence, which was the flat above the Southern Tokyo Branch, he told me to clean myself first as he prepared some clothes for me to change into since he wasn't going to allow me to go home in the middle of the storm that was now brewing outside. The flat has only one spacious room with a small kitchen and bathroom connected to it through doors.

Twenty minutes later, I found myself sitting on the floor with a first aid kit as Kazuma cleansed my wounds and bandaged them. His hold on my hand was ever so gentle as though my hand was fragile and as I looked at his concentration-filled face I can't help but think that he shouldn't be doing that, that he shouldn't be wasting his time and energy fixing me up, that he should've just left me alone in that abandoned park, my feeling of unworthiness increased as Kazuma gave me dinner which I ate gratefully but still with that reprehensive feeling that never fails to increase at every good deed that Kazuma does to me.

"Azuma-kun…" I started as Kazuma sat down opposite me, just after finishing his own dinner, "You're really helping me out a lot and I'm really thankful for that but you're just wasting your time and energy… I'm not worth of your help, you should've just left me when you saw me in that park and went your way…"

"Why are you saying that, Kanmuri?" Kazuma asked me with an incredulous air around him, "We're friends aren't we, and friends help each other out so I don't know why you're being so fussy about it… And besides, I can always go to the grocery any time that I want to, so it isn't really a problem… So why are you making such a fuss about it?"

"It's kind of hard to explain, Azuma-kun, but-"

"Look, Kanmuri, I may not know what your problem is but if you're gonna start being antisocial then I'd have to do something about that…" Kazuma told me conclusively, "You've been acting strange all week but whenever we try to talk to you to try to sort things out you just turn away and say it's nothing but continue to sulk… Manager said that we should try and talk to you and try to find out what's wrong…"

"Is that why you're asking me all these questions? because Manager said so?" I ask him back rather accusingly, ignoring the feeling of disappointment that was beginning to sink into the depths of my stomach.

"Even if it was Manager who told us that we should talk to you, I'm concerned for you as well… We all are; that's why we want to know what's making you so gloomy… We only wanted to help you out, you know…" Kazuma replied with a weary tone. And suddenly I felt bad for being so stubborn with him; I knew that he had only meant what's good for me but still…

All thoughts were driven away from my mind as I felt someone embrace me.

"A-Azuma-kun…" I manage to blurt out.

When he finally let go of me, he was looking at me with an understanding smile, causing my guts to twist and turn in remorse, "Its okay if you don't want to talk to me about it for now, Kanmuri, I understand… But when you're ready to talk, I'm always here to listen…" he stifled a yawn before continuing, "Well, it's getting pretty late, we should probably get some sleep, we still have work tomorrow…"

I just continued to stare at his back as he went to get sleeping mats for the two of us; he's just too nice for me… I don't even deserve to be treated the way that he's treating me right now, like a guest that's of high importance, I'm just nothing… NOTHING… I don't deserve anything in this world, most of all his attention… Kazuma's just so... far away, that I wouldn't be able to reach him no matter how much I try… Why am I even trying to reach him?

It was then that I fully understood what I'm supposed to do…

---

Later on that night…

I crack open one eye just to see if the coast was clear, I've been feigning sleep for the past hour and a half and checking every few minutes after the first hour to see if Kazuma was already in deep sleep… I planned to sneak out in the middle of the night and return home… I know that it might sound stupid to some people (well, maybe more than some) but I don't care… Every second that I stay in here makes me feel more and more abashed for myself…I knew that I was a worthless being and didn't deserve any of the camaraderie that Kazuma was showing to me…

After I've concluded that Kazuma was probably already engrossed in deep slumber, I quietly get out from the mat that I've been occupying; I rolled it up and placed it on one side and stood to leave, feeling quite guilty of what I was planning on doing… It brought me back to what I've done ten years ago when I was leaving the six-year-old Kazuma as I was to go back to my parents… I didn't count on doing it again, seeing as I've already seen how much hurt it made Kazuma feel back then, but I simply had no other choice…

I turn my back on Kazuma's sleeping form, convincing myself that I was doing the right thing… I quietly moved out of the room hoping that I wouldn't be caught by Kazuma, which is the last thing on my mind, I don't know what I'd do if that situation occurred. I gave a sigh of relief as I successfully reached the front door, I put on my shoes and I grasped the door knob, my mind was rejoicing at the thought that my plan was a success but before I even had the chance to turn the knob a familiar and slightly alarming voice spoke behind me.

"You're leaving me without waking me up again, aren't you? Just like you did before…" came a voice laced with sadness and disappointment.

I stood frozen on the spot, not only because of the surprise that Kazuma was awake but also because of his words… somehow I kind of forgot that I was supposed to be leaving as my hand's grip on the doorknob slipped and my hand fell to my side… The words Kazuma spoke went ringing again and again inside my head… 'He… He remembers…' was all that I could think of at the moment quite forgetting that I've been telling myself over and over again that I don't deserve him and it didn't matter if he remembered or not but when I found out that he does remember, everything I've said to myself, seemed to simply just vanish into thin air…

I look back and see him leaning with his back against the doorframe looking downwards, the moonlight, which served as the main light source of the moment, illuminated his features as he spoke, "Don't worry, its okay… You may go… I shouldn't have made you stay here in the first place… I thought that you'd be glad to reminisce our past but I see that I've been thinking on the wrong track for quite a while now… You've been a real success and I shouldn't be dragging you back to the past anymore than interfering with how your life goes nowadays…" he turned his back on me and stood still as though waiting if I'd really go or not…

I was thinking hard again, now that I know that he does remember what do I do? I'm losing control of myself… 'Think Kanmuri, think!!' I tell myself fervently. I realize that I'm now facing a really tough decision… One wrong move and… I don't even know what would happen, but I'm pretty sure that I don't want to know… What should I do? Wait a minute… he just said that he remembers but there's nothing that said that he has any feelings for me… but what if he does…? My mind went into a state of awful emptiness... and suddenly, right then and there, the answer came to me… Nothing matters anymore… So what if he does remember and what should I care if he does feel the same way towards me? The answer was so simple… I wanted to strangle myself at that very moment for not realizing it at the very beginning… No matter what I do or how much I try, I just don't deserve him… He's just too great and I'm just… nothing…

I steel myself and try not to feel sorry as my hand moves towards the doorknob, I knew that what I was doing was for the best and that I should feel guilty or anything, Kazuma deserves someone better and that was final. However, just as my hand enclosed on the cold, metallic knob a force hit me from behind just as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist, I stopped in my actions as I took notice of what had just happened. "A-Azuma-kun…" I speak out rather nervously.

"Please, Kanmuri, don't leave me again… I'm sorry if what I've said before hurt you but I j-just want to spend more time with you a-and I-I don't know what I'll do if- if you go away… I've been missing you too much but whenever I take some time observe you, you seem to be just fine and it looked as though you didn't even think of our past anymore so I chose to respect your decision but I wasn't sure of that so I kept on hoping that one day you'll remember and we could be just as close as we were back then so when I saw that you're feeling depressed for quite a while I've been feeling uneasy and I really wanted to know what was making you feel bad, so that I can at least get a bit closer to you but you're always slipping away, like you're avoiding me, and now that you're really gonna leave, I don't want you to go anymore…" Kazuma spoke all of it really fast as he continued to attach himself to me, it was only when I felt my back getting wet that I realize that he was crying… (God, how indifferent and idiotic could I get?)

I instantly turn around and when I saw the state that Kazuma was in, I couldn't help feeling angry at myself as I knew very well that he was crying because of me, so I did the only thing that I can do: I wrapped my arms around him as well and comforted him, just like I did so many years before; it seemed to me as though this was my only worth but then again, I was just righting the wrong that I've done by comforting him like this, so maybe I really am worthless after all…

I led us both back into the room and made him sit down on his mat as I pulled myself away from him, he was still crying and I can't think of anything else to do but to apologize… "Azuma-kun," I start but after saying that, I realize that there was nothing that I could think of to say to him… "Please stop crying… I'm sorry for trying to leave you again… I do recall our past as well but I just never had the courage to tell you so because when I met you, I saw that you were already really happy and contented at how your life was going so I thought that I shouldn't interfere with you anymore…"

He continued to cry quietly, just staring at his knees, and then he suddenly looked up at me with a sort of bittersweet smile on his lips, "I love you, you know that? Ever since we were still small kids… You were the only one who truly understood me… And my feelings for you never wavered throughout the years even though there was no guarantee that you'd love me back but I just can't help it… I kept on hoping that when we meet again, you'd feel the same way but maybe I'm still living under my childish fantasies; I've probably just imagined the time when the two of us were so close to each other, the day when you were about to leave… You've probably found me kind of disturbing right now, I mean, what kind of guy confesses that he likes his childhood friend face to face like this? But I can't help it, it's as though I'm gonna burst from all the pressure if I don't tell you how much you mean to me… I just want to become close to you… just like before…" he said all this in a quiet tone, gazing up at me with his tear-filled eyes.

I'd be lying if I say that I wasn't albeit shocked at his sudden revelation but my mind was decided, I knew that I wasn't good enough for him, so I told him in a gentle manner as I wipe away his tears, "I appreciate that you feel the same way, Azuma-kun; I must say that I am quite head over heels about you but… (I quickly notice his reaction when I said the word 'but') we just can't be together…"

"Are you worried of what others would think or-" he began to ask the moment I paused in my statement as though eager to clear up any obstacles that could come in the way of our 'relationship' (or 'would-be relationship', whichever you prefer to call it) and I'd have to say that I am quite impressed at how serious he was being but I continued, I simply had to make my point clear to him…

"What the society would think has never really concerned me, to tell you the truth… I'm afraid that the problem lies with me and me alone… (he looks at me questioningly as I lower my gaze from him) I'm just not good enough for you…"

"Kanmuri, what are you saying? How can you be 'not good enough' for me? Since when was there a criterion for loving someone?" Kazuma asked as he cupped my cheeks and made me face him once again.

"I'm just a nobody, Azuma-kun, whereas you're probably the greatest bread artisan that Japan, no, the world has ever known… I know this Kazuma because I've seen you work on your Ja-pan when you were a kid and I also saw how much you've grown from then to when you were in the Newcomer's Battle and all the way until you won in the Yakitate 9 tournament so you can't tell me that I'm wrong. You've already surpassed me even before I knew it, you deserve someone better, Azuma-kun; someone who's greater than me, someone who'll never leave you no matter what, someone who loves you and wouldn't hurt you… and that someone just isn't me…" I tell him sadly as his face, which previously showed anxiety, now showed concern.

"Why are you saying that? What does it matter if I'm "great" or if you're not that "great"? What matters is how we feel for one another… If you tell me that you don't deserve me then no one else does… You're the one I've been closest to so I know that you're the only one for me…" Kazuma told me earnestly as his hands held mine; tears started to fall on his just-dried cheeks and his voice sounded albeit pained to me, I just can't help making him cry, can I? I'm such a big loser...

"I'm not the only person in the world that you can trust and confide in, Azuma-kun… You and Kawachi-san seem to be really close, I admit that I once thought of you guys as a couple since you two were so attached to each other… And I'm positive that Tsukino has a major crush on you… She's a really nice girl and besides that she's also the heiress to Pantasia… And there are still so many other people in the world, you shouldn't confine yourself to just me because there's a whole lot of greater people out there…" I tell him as I try to remove his gentle but firm hold on my hand.

"Kawachi and Tsukino are just my friends, and I don't see them as anything other than that… And as for those other and 'greater' people, well I don't care about them… I know in my heart and mind that you truly are the only one for me… Why are you so keen on pushing yourself away from me?" he paused as he meekly squeezed my hand, completely ignoring the tears on his face. "But if that's what you want, then its okay, I understand… But can I at least ask one last thing from you?" he added in a much fuller voice than before, making me feel albeit unnerved but I simply told myself that after all the things that I've said to him, he didn't get angry at me in the least possible way so maybe if I comply to his little request, we could still be friends after all of this… so I answer him with an, "Okay then, I'll do anything…" but the moment he uttered his request, I felt like I wanted to take back my words…

He shifted closer to me, his hold on my hand tightening, he looked me in the eyes and spoke in a voice merely above a whisper the two words that I least expected to come from him, "Kiss me…"

My eyes widened and I felt my jaw drop; I was just hearing things, right? I mean, he couldn't have possibly said that he wanted me to kiss him, right? Right? "A-Azuma-kun, I seem to have misheard what you've said… I think I've been hearing other things…" but his stare at me just intensified making me gulp nervously, "You can't be really serious…" but my statement just faded away as the look on his face became more pleading, giving me the feeling that I'd be doing him a big wrong if I don't comply to his request but what's he's asking for is just…

"Please, Kanmuri," he said to me quietly, "If you can't accept my feelings for you and you want to continue pushing yourself away from me, then please just leave me with something to cherish for the rest of my life… If you don't want to have me then at least give me my first kiss…"

"But Azuma-kun, I don't think that I'm the right person for that… First kisses should be special for a person and I'm just not-"

"Please stop saying that you're 'not good enough' or 'unworthy' coz that just makes me feel worse… I've decided, Kanmuri… I know that my first kiss will be special, but only if you give it to me…" he said to me in a small but decided voice and I knew that I had no choice.

My heart was pounding inside my chest as we drew closer, I brush away his bangs from his face, cupping his wet cheeks with my hands, still not quite sure of what to do. I've never kissed, or even thought of kissing, someone in my entire life so all this new feelings are very alien to me… We're just about one inch away from each other now, Kazuma closes his eyes and I can't help but stare at his face which looked so beautiful despite the tearstains and all, I knew I didn't deserve this but something else told me to go on… I close my eyes and let my emotions carry me through; I leaned closer and felt soft petal-like things press against my lips and I knew that they were Kazuma's own, I can feel it tremble a bit so I pull back. Imagine my surprise when I felt those very same lips now pressing against mine, they were only trembling a bit now, as though they've gained a bit of confidence. The kiss was still short but sweet and just a few seconds after we've separated, our lips were together again, softly massaging each other's, growing more and more certain each time. From our sweet, short kisses, we slowly moved on to have longer and more passionate ones, taking in deep breaths at every interval and then coming together again, and I must say that I'm starting to enjoy kissing him, feeling his lips pressed up against mine, kissing me back passionately. I have only just realized that his arms were around my neck, pulling him still closer to me; when we separated once again, I pause for a while, causing him to open his eyes and look at me with a querying look about him, I let go of one of his cheeks as I use my hand to cling onto his waist, pulling him onto my lap; all thoughts of not being deserving was washed away from my mind as we stare at each other and for once, since we've started our conversation, I felt lighthearted, without a care in the world, my feelings for him overshadowing everything else, and at that very moment I felt like I could be the luckiest person in the whole world. He tucked away stray strands of my hair carefully behind my ear, he smiled at me and I felt my spirit soar up high, he mouthed 'I love you' as he closed his eyes and proceeded to kiss me again, I followed suit and kissed him back just as fervently as he was doing, I could say that both of us were easily getting used to the kissing. My heart was beating faster and faster, I didn't realize that I was nibbling on his lower lip until he opened his mouth and as though on instinct my tongue gradually entered his mouth; feeling quite intoxicated to his taste, I explored his mouth looking for more, it was then that I felt his own tongue residing near his palatal region, and without even knowing the reason why, I just found that my tongue was gently caressing Kazuma's. He drew back upon contact and I couldn't blame him for doing so, the feeling's so different from before, I felt like I've crossed the line so I pull away from him, asking for a sign if I should stop; personally I was torn, the feeling of unworthiness was coming back but the side that has my true feelings for him wanted more. He took heavy breaths and seeing this I made to remove him from my lap but he just pulled us closer again, I could feel his hot breath against my lips, and my mind went blank; my love for him and my longing for this moment getting a head of me and without anymore thought I inhaled deeply and met with his lips once again… He was holding onto me as though his life depended on it, everything was about to end, I knew that both of us can feel it as our kisses grew more passionate; I didn't dare to enter his mouth again because I felt that I would be disrespecting his privacy if I did. My lips met hungry kisses coming from Kazuma, it was only then that I realized how much Kazuma really loved me, I could feel it in his kisses and in the way he keeps holding on to me, I knew how much he needed me but I continue to keep telling myself that somewhere out there was someone who's better than me who deserves all of Kazuma's affection… I gave him one final kiss and finally released my hold on him, his eyes fluttered open and I notice that the tears had never left his eyes, I made to wipe them away but he hindered me from doing so, instead he unclasped his hands around my neck and got off my lap. I could still see a smile on his lips, small though it may be, and his caramel orbs stared at me with the same loving affection that I saw there just a while ago.

"I think we should clean up a bit first…" he said with hints of laughter, I look at him questioningly and he indicated the sides of my mouth, sure enough when I ran my fingers around my mouth I found a trickle of saliva running down on one side, I felt my cheeks burn as I wiped away the saliva with the hem of my shirt.

"Thank you for that, Shi-chan…" he stated after I've cleaned up myself. I was a bit surprised when he suddenly addressed me like that, making me wonder if it was because of the kiss or anything. "Now, I know that you really are the only one for me…"

"Azuma-kun, what are you saying? I just kissed you because you asked me to but it doesn't change a thing…" I tell him patiently not wanting to have a row with him.

"But it did, it made me realize that despite your denials, your love for me is real and no matter how many times you contradict it with your words, your heart always says what's true… But on another note, will you still go home tonight?" he asks, changing the topic completely.

I shake my head and unrolled the mat that I had previously placed near the wall and laid it out. "Well, goodnight then…" I felt really awkward saying that seeing as I've just tried to leave, made him cry, confess my true feelings and give him his first kiss all in the span of twenty minutes of just one night. I crawl into my mat and Kazuma went into his.

I lay down facing away from him as I was already feeling much ashamed of myself. Everything had quieted down and it seemed that Kazuma was finally getting some sleep but his quiet voice suddenly rang throughout the small room…

"You know, it's okay if you think that you're 'not deserving' of me for now… I'll wait for you to realize that there's no one else for me but you… And when that time comes, you can always find me right where you left me, just waiting for you… After all, I've already spent ten years, waiting for you to find me again so a couple of more years for you to realize that you're the only one for me wouldn't be a problem, and if this life isn't long enough then I guess I'll still be waiting for you in my next life…" Kazuma speaks out, I could hear a trace of a sob hidden underneath his words; I feel my eyes sting and my vision had suddenly become blurry, I rub my eyes only to find tears falling from its corners.

The next thing I knew was that rays of sunlight were blinding me as I shifted into a sitting position, it was already morning probably around 7-8 a.m.; I must have fallen asleep without realizing it last night. I look around and saw that the whole room was empty except for me and a rolled up sleeping bag in a corner, Kazuma must've been down to work already, I stand up and stretch a bit before I fixed up the mat that I was previously occupying, I went to Kazuma's kitchen and was alarmed to find Kazuma standing there smiling brightly at me when I came in. I gave him a small smile in return, feeling awkward as we stood side by side, him waiting for the thermos to boil and me just standing there looking like an idiot with my arms crossed doing nothing… well what was I supposed to do? Give him a 'good morning' kiss? And as though irony was my best friend of the day, I felt a pair of lips touch my left cheek lightly. I blink in confusion before looking at Kazuma with an alarmed look plastered on my face.

"Good morning…" he says to me innocently, "I'm making tea, do you want tea or coffee? And what would you like for breakfast?"

"I'll go for the tea, thank you. And as for breakfast I think I'll just find something in the bakery to eat…" I reply as I looked away again, blushing profusely.

"Oh, and your clothes are already dry, I've ironed them earlier on so you can already wear them again today…" he told me happily, he seemed to be in a really cheerful mood this morning.

And he carried his gaiety up until we went to work, he was more energetic than he had been this whole week and I can't help but feel that it's because of what happened last night but either way I'm glad that he's lively again… After baking bread for the store, we have nothing else to do as usual so Manager invited us to join him in a game of cards to which both of us obliged, but midway through our fourth game, Tsukino arrived. She appeared to be really happy to see that everyone was happy again, she told us about a festival tomorrow that would take place near Tokyo Bay where there would be shops of all kinds and a fireworks display was said to be shown in the evening. Everybody seemed to be excited to go but it was as though I simply wasn't in the mood for such things. They continued to talk about the festival, arranging meeting places, what clothes to wear and such. Taking my chance, I quietly slipped out of the room going towards the alleyway, leaning with my back against the wall, 'Everyone's gonna be at the festival tomorrow… I think I'll just skip it though… That way, Azuma-kun might have a chance to mingle properly with other people and possibly develop a deeper kind of relationship with them… And-"

But before I could even think another thought, the back door from which I exited from opened and Tsukino walked out of it, she looked around at first, as though she was looking for something and then she spotted me and went towards me. She smiled and asked, "What are you doing here, Kanmuri-san? Aren't you going to prepare for the festival tomorrow?"

"Actually, I don't think that I could come to this festival that you're talking about…" I say as I stand properly, "I have quite a lot of things to do." I know that it's not really good to lie to other people but what else do I have?

"Oh. But I was hoping that you'd do me a favor…" She says as she looks away, a hue of pink making its way to her cheeks.

I found this quite intriguing, so I asked her, "What favor? If I could do it now then it wouldn't be a problem, right?"

"Would you really, Kanmuri-san? It's kind of embarrassing for me to ask this…" she asks me with hopeful eyes.

"Well, if I could do it then why not?" I reply, putting my hands into the pockets of my shorts.

"Um, you see… I was hoping that tomorrow, during the festival I mean, I was thinking if somehow, Azuma-san and I could um, go out, you know what I mean, right, Kanmuri-san? I mean it just as friends…" she stated as he face consecutively went redder and redder so that she almost looked like a tomato with long light brown hair growing from its top.

"So what am I supposed to help you with?" I ask, not quite getting her point.

"I mean, if you could, can you please ask Azuma-san for me…" she says quietly, looking downwards.

I blink for a moment, "So you want me to ask, Azuma-kun to go out with you?" I clarify; somehow I'm starting to get a bad feeling from this…

"Well, yes… but if you can't do so, it's okay…" she added hastily.

I consider for a moment, if I help in this, Kazuma and Tsukino might get together but in return heartaches and despair for me; it's settled then, Kazuma would be a lot more happier if he finds the right one for him, and Tsukino just might be the one who's perfect for him, and since I just want Kazuma to be happy, I should probably do this… "Okay then, I think I can do that for you, Tsukino, but I'm just wondering why you ask me of all people to do this? I'm not much good as asking people out either but I can try…"

"I asked you because you're simply the most sensible person to ask around here… I couldn't go to Azuma-san himself, coz I know that I'll never be able to say it right, and Manager would just laugh at me in the face if I even try to ask him." She explained thoughtfully.

"Fine then, I'll ask him now, you should probably stay out of the picture for a while, though…" I tell her as I move towards the door.

"Okay, and thanks so much, Kanmuri-san!" I hear her call from behind me.

The back room seemed to be empty as I went in, I was starting to wonder if Kazuma had left but I suddenly hear his voice calling my name. I turn to my left and there he was with a cheerful expression on his face. I look around once again, trying to see if anyone else was there besides the two of us.

He seemed to notice this and said, "Manager's out buying more of the stuff, in his water bottle that he keeps on drinking… I have no idea what that is… Why are you looking for him anyway?"

"Well, actually, I need to ask you something in private…" I tell him, and it was obvious that he was expecting something from the way that his face seemed to brighten up.

"What is it?" he asks enthusiastically, staring at me with his caramel orbs shining brightly.

I gulp, what in the world have I gotten myself into now? I feel bad for I know what he was expecting and I'm pretty sure that he's gonna be disappointed when he hears what I say. "Azuma-kun, Tsukino asked me to ask you if you could go out with her tomorrow during the festival… Like a date, per se," I tell him looking away for I hated seeing him looking disappointed like that but it was for his own sake that I'm doing this…

"Oh, so that's why you wanted to talk to me?" he says. And I just reply with a nod. "Well that would explain why she kept on looking at me earlier. But you'll come to the festival too, right Kanmuri?"

"Azuma-kun, I'm afraid I can't, I have many things to do-"

"Don't lie Kanmuri, I know that you're absolutely free for tomorrow, you have nothing to do… so why don't you come to the festival with us…"

"Azuma-kun, it wouldn't be a 'date' if I come with you and Tsukino…" I explain trying my earnest to 'escape'.

"If you won't go then I won't too." He told me decisively, and from his tone, I knew that he was serious with what he said.

"But what am I supposed to do there, to be quite honest, I'm sure that I'll just be bored…"

"That's nonsense; you can do a lot of things in a festival like that… You can buy things, there are a lot of great foods as well, and the fireworks display is sure to be a great thing to watch… So you'll go now, won't you?"

"I- oh okay then…" I finally give in, how come I always give in to his petty little requests.

"That'll be great!" he said happily as he hugged me tightly.

"Azuma-kun, please do remember that you're gonna be on a date with Tsukino tomorrow…" I tell him as I try not to blush too much.

"I know, I'm just happy that you're coming to the festival as well, it can do great things to lighten your mood." Kazuma tells me as he finally released his hold.

---

The night of the festival came and I found myself in a purple kimono (or yukata, what's the difference between those two anyway?) and the others were dressed in kimonos as well only of a different color, save for Manager who still wore his usual clothes. Kawachi-san was here as well as Monica and a rather sultry Suwabara who looked as though if he had his way he wouldn't be here at all. We all went to the festival venue together but once we were there everyone went to his or her own way.

Now only, Kazuma, Tsukino and I were standing there; Tsukino, who was blushing profusely, wore a pink kimono with small yellow flowers printed near the hem and her hair was braided rather elegantly. Kazuma looked the same as ever with the orange kimono that he wore as the only difference from his usual look.

"See you then," I say before I went to my right where there were a couple of stalls and pretended to look around.

I saw Kazuma look at me before Tsukino led him to some other place, when they were already out of sight, I gave a sigh. Now what am I supposed to do? Well, since I'm already here, I might as well look around and see if there's anything worth buying… I didn't realize how long I've been looking around, the place was filled with so many stalls that it could take forever for me to see it all. I felt my stomach grumble and I knew that it was probably around 8 pm right now, so I moved around looking for a food stall and had my dinner. I sat on a bench as I ate, observing my surroundings, I saw lots of people walking by twos and once or twice a whole group of teens. A lot of couples had taken seats near the sea where the fireworks were said to be shown. I stand up and disposed the food wrapper into a nearby dustbin; it was getting late so I should probably go home now… I walk away from the site and headed to the sidewalks, 'Kazuma and Tsukino are probably having a great time right now', I think to myself, 'Tsukino's a really great girl and from their date right now, Kazuma might realize that they could be meant for one another…'

My vision suddenly blurred, but I didn't bother, I knew I just had to reach the other street and then wait for a cab and then ride home, so blurry vision isn't really a problem… But I felt as though I was walking aimlessly and then with only a shrill scream, a bright and almost blinding light as my warning, I felt something hit me from the side. I felt my feet leave the ground at the same time as a surge of pain erupt from my side and spreading throughout the rest of my body, and not even a millisecond later, I felt my whole body hit the cold cement of the road with so much force that I thought all my bones had broken. All the wind was knocked out of me and I can't even force my eyes open, I could hear the distinct sound of a car speeding away accompanied by gasps and the mutterings of people that I guessed were all around me; a single thought came to me, I was hit by a car.

I couldn't feel any of my limbs anymore as I felt myself grow weaker and weaker as every second passes, what a way to end my life… not even reaching adulthood and dying from an accident which was caused by my own stupidity. I was slowly floating into peaceful emptiness when somebody suddenly spoke my name… my senses jolted awake as I felt someone gently lift my head from the ground and hold my body close to its own… I gather up all the strength I have left in an effort to open my eyes, for a second I succeeded and I was able to see Kazuma's blurry outline but my eyelids instantly closed after seeing him briefly…

"Someone please help us take him to the hospital!" I hear Tsukino's voice call out, so she was here as well… Her voice sounded anxious as she spoke to (I presume) the other people present…

But Kazuma's voice drew my attention away from them, "Kanmuri, what happened to you? You're bleeding…"

As he said the word 'bleeding' it was only then that I felt a sticky sort of liquid dripping onto my back, "Car accident…" I mutter quietly, not having enough strength to move any of my muscles anymore. I felt his hold on me tighten upon hearing my reply, but someone else's voice spoke and I felt myself being lifted from the ground by Kazuma and someone else.

"Come, my car's just a few more feet away…" I hear a completely unfamiliar and feminine voice speak.

"Thank you, ma'am…" came Tsukino's slightly panting voice.

Moments later I felt my body being lowered onto something soft that felt like leather but I didn't mind it much, Kazuma was still holding me as close to him and I could hear soft sobs coming from him.

I heard the opening of car doors, and the unmistakable sound of an engine being started. "The Tokyo General Hospital's the nearest one I can take you to…" came the unfamiliar lady's voice once again, and the next thing I knew was that the car had started to move.

'Now to move on to more pressing matters', I thought to myself. "A-Azuma-kun" I say just slightly above a whisper, I hear him take a sharp intake of breath but say nothing else, a sure sign that he was listening to me completely. "Azuma-kun, if I die don't be sad for me… I've only realized that I may be the cause of why you still haven't found the only one for you… I'm afraid I must've been hindering you from doing so because my presence always reminds you of our past… So if I die, maybe you'd finally realize whom your heart truly belongs to…" it pains me myself for saying these things but I knew that this was how it should be, this was why god had placed me into this accident so that when I die, Kazuma would finally find his one true love…

"Don't say that!" Kazuma whispers to me with the same determined tone in his voice, "You're not gonna die! You're not gonna die! I won't let you! Shigeru, please don't die on me like this!" his voice was starting to tremble and he held me closer than ever, "I love you, Shigeru, you know that so please don't say such things… You're not gonna die!"

I felt hot tears fall onto my cheeks and I knew Kazuma was crying, I was losing all the energy I have in my body as well, "I'm sorry…" I say to him quietly as I raise my arm trying to find his face, luckily I was able to and with the last bit of strength that resided in my body, I made to wipe away his tears but somehow I didn't know if I was successful in that attempt because everything just went black and my body suddenly felt weightless and I felt myself floating upwards… I was able to see Kazuma sitting on the back seat of the car, holding my body so close to him that we were almost kissing, and I saw my lifeless body in his arms and I knew that I was really dead, Kazuma's eyes were wide open and tears flowed continuously from their corners. Sadly I couldn't hear what he was saying but from reading his lips, I knew that he was saying my name.

'All of this is for you, Azuma-kun… The obstacle known as me is now no more… you can now freely love the one who is right for you… I could only wish you happiness for the rest of your life… I could only hope that you would find the right person for you as soon as possible so that you could forget me and live happily with that girl… But don't worry, coz after all of this, my love for you is still there but I know that it's just not good enough… Someday we might meet again… in another life maybe… and maybe in that life, I would be good enough for you… but until then… I Love you, Azuma Kazuma, and Goodbye…'

--oOo--

Owari

(The End)

--oOo--

A/N: Wow… Uhh… I seriously don't know what to say… o.O What do you guys think of this?

I actually have another ending for this which is a happier one… and I've uploaded it as the second chapter…