:

:

To say that Sasuke got away from his fan club when he left for Orochimaru was wrong. Okay, so what if it wasn't the same – it existed. And the fact that it did that, even in Orochimaru's death bringing place, made Sasuke jump to the only conclusion there was.

He was freaking hot.

Sasuke was so hot, that even the most heart less prisoner Orochimaru had looked twice at his face. So hot that even Kabuto licked his lips when Sasuke walked by.

Now if only Naruto would ever think the same way.

The Army
~ by bevino

It was one ordinary day when Sasuke was laying on his big bed in his big room in the big house that belonged to Orochimaru (and that wasn't all that was big…on Sasuke, not on Orochimaru). He was currently reading some sappy romantic hospital crap he found at Kabuto's. He had snatched it, to have something to do to get away from his bored-ness. He flipped the pages (and made some disgusting faces) when he realized that the sound that had been irritating him for the last couple of minutes really was someone knocking on the door.

It was his fan club. The difference from his fan club back in Konoha, and the one here, was that the majority was male, and the majority of them were quiet. First, Sasuke had been a little disappointed. This fan club was nothing compared to the frightening one he had had in Konoha, but after a while he understood that this one was smarter.

They had…techniques.

But now, they looked only depressed.

Hell, they almost had Sasuke worried.

"Uchiha-sama (Sasuke had no idea why they called him that, when they didn't even put the sama after Kabuto's name)," one of them said. "What do we have to do to make you interested in us?"

Sasuke hadn't believed that they would actually ask him something like that. This just proved how better they were than the ones back in Konoha. He eyed them for a minute, and thought: 'This could be fun'.

"Firstly, you have to have blonde hair."

And the game had begun.

Every day, or sometimes every hour, the fan club came. And every time they looked even worse. The big ugly bearded men clothed with blonde wigs made Sasuke wanna puke, but he still found it funny. The ones with not natural blonde hair wore a wig; the ones with not natural blue eyes wore contacts. The girls bound their breast. And Orochimaru was met with and army full of Naruto's, the one uglier than the other.

"Sasuke, what have you done!" Orochimaru at last hissed angry at him, dragging him away from the silent crowd. "They look like…I don't know what they look like, but it ain't pretty!" But Sasuke only shrugged.

"I only told them what type I'm attracted to." And with a smug grin, Sasuke was off. Orochimaru looked after him with a irritated look on his face and turned thereafter back to the group of Naruto.

"Kabuto! Get over here!" he snarled, and a Naruto that wore glasses stomped up next to him.

But Sasuke realized that this was not really good. Every time he saw a mop of blonde hair and blue eyes, his heart begun to race faster. Every time he saw someone wearing orange clothes together with blonde hair and blue eyes, his heart ached. And Sasuke realized that he missed him. He missed him really bad. And that was really bad.

And then Sasuke knew that he had to go home, home to Konoha, home to his own Naruto-less fan club, and fuck, home to Naruto. He hurried to his room, packed his bag and escaped through the window. He ran through the forest, his heart singing and placed in his throat.

When suddenly an orange blur came in front of his vision. He stopped. Naruto?

But of course it wasn't. It was the fan club.

"Why do you have to leave Sasuke-sama?"

"Please stay!"

"Show us more!"

"I can be your man!"

Sasuke held a hand up in the air, making them go silent and looking at him with pleading eyes. Sasuke sighed and rubbed his temples. And then he looked up.

"I can't help you more. You don't have it."

"The boy – man – I love have the biggest heart in the world. Even though life is horrible and people hateful, he still smiles from his heart. Even if his best friend is leaving or tries to kill him, he still tries to get them back. I'm…I'm sorry…erhm…guys."

And Sasuke left them there, squirming and looking embarrassed, until one of them – in a lost try – placed a hand on the wannabe next to him, smiling a tense smile.

And Sasuke? Well, he found the real Naruto and confessed to him, and the blonde, as happy and in love as he was happily took Sasuke to be his. The only time Naruto did question their relationship, was when the Sound attacked Leaf, with a whole army of Naruto's in the front.

The End!